Sorting Games

Summary: A slow night off, a movie on television, beer and wine in hand, and Peter and Neal banter. Friendship and essentially plotless.

"I am not, Peter."

"You totally are."

"You really think I'm that bad?"

Peter sips his beer and chooses his words carefully. "Maybe not bad, per se, but definitely cunning. And isn't that a qualification, along with being resourceful, and knowing how to get what you want?"

Neal scowls slightly and thinks it over.

It's no great mystery how they got to this point: Elizabeth is visiting her sister for the weekend, and Neal's keeping Peter company at her insistence, though it really didn't take much convincing for either of them to accept the arrangement on such a slow, lazy night. So now the two friends have settled in on the Burkes' couch, Neal with his wine and Peter with his beer, and they've only just managed to agree on something to watch.

A movie which has, of course, brought a certain contentious issue to light.

"Well," Neal responds after a long, thoughtful moment. "I may have a few of those qualities, but beyond that, I'm smart, Peter. Not to sound conceited, but I'd definitely belong in Ravenclaw."

"Huh, sure. Slytherin has your name all over it," Peter replies, pointing an accusing finger in Neal's direction. "But if you were a Ravenclaw, you'd be in good company. El's a Ravenclaw."

"I can see that."

"Diana and Jones, though? I'm thinking Gryffindor."

"Along with you, of course."

"Wrong," says Peter simply.

"What?" asks Neal, sincerely surprised. "What House do you think you belong in?"

"Hufflepuff."

Neal snorts in derision, and Peter gives him a look. "What?"

"Peter, no one chooses to be a Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff is for all the leftover people with nowhere else to go."

"Actually," says Peter, with a noticeable air of dignity, "Hufflepuffs are fair, hard-working, and loyal. Think about it, Neal. I'm a proud Hufflepuff, despite all the ribbing we get about being the Other House."

Neal looks at Peter. Fair, hard-working, loyal Peter. "I suppose you may be right there," he concedes. "But you're still wrong about me. I am not a Slytherin..."

Neal takes another sip of wine and relaxes further into the couch. "Mozzie's a Slytherin, though." he says thoughtfully.

Peter smirks and turns his eyes back to the screen, where a young Harry is placing the Sorting Hat upon his head. "Yeah, Mozzie is so a Slytherin."

A/N: This idea amused me to no end, and while I'm currently enjoying the eruption of angsty post finale fics, I figured I could lighten it up a bit for now. Oh, and I'm a great defender of the Hufflepuff house.