Hey everyone! Well I really hope you enjoy this story. This takes place during senior year. For now the rating will be T and then will most likely turn M. This is my AU about how Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray fall in love.
"Rachel, you….. you were made for great things. And there's not a doubt in my mind how big of a star you will be."
"Finn, I don't understand?" I answered with a heavy breath.
"You don't get it do you?" He huffed out with a long sigh. Then he brought his hands up to the sides of his face as he slowly rubbed at his jaw line. With weary eyes he looked down at the floor, pinching his lips together as if to collect his thoughts.
"Clearly I don't." I replied back with a fearful tone.
My lips began to quiver. Every inch of my body started shaking. In the back of my mind I could feel something bad was about to happen. Something scary was about to take front. By the direction of this conversation something was telling me to run. Instinctively my body wanted to get away from him as fast as I could. Save yourself. But my legs wouldn't allow me to move from my place. I quietly pushed those thoughts away, in hopes that I was just being crazy.
"By the end of this year, you're leaving for New York."
My breath automatically caught in my throat. Horror filled my eyes as I watched his face filled with grief. I could feel my heart begin to pick up speed as he slowly took a step forward. He licked his lips and slowly tucked a piece of my stranded hair. I looked up into my boyfriend's eyes, trying to figure out what was going through his head. What is he saying? What is he talking about? We've already discussed this. "I-I thought we agreed that you were going with me to New York?"
"Tell me Rach, what am I going to do in New York? Huh? You're going to be doing your NYADA stuff and taking over Broadway. Where do I fit in? Let's face it, I'm not that smart to get into a real big fancy college and I'm not as musically inclined to get accepted into any music program."
I began shaking my head. Not accepting his words to sink in. I refused to accept what I knew was about to come. I took a step back to gather space between the suffocating air around me. My lungs burned for air as I gasped for an intake, but nothing was getting to me. A tingling sensation burned at the edges of my eyes as I looked back up at him. "B-but we had a plan!"
"This has never been our story." He croaked out as he lowered his head to the floor. He closed his eyes and wiped away the fallen tears that escaped from him. My heart started cracking at the sight. I could feel my own tears begin to let loose.
"What are you saying?" I asked with a cracked tone.
"I will always love you Rachel. And you know that. I love you soo much! And it's taken me a long time to figure out that I'm not the guy for you Rachel Berry. You need someone to be able to keep up with you. You need someone who can support you and take care of you. An- And I can't do that. I'll only keep holding you back!"
"N-N-No you won't Finn. You are the only one, the only one who gets me. We know each other inside and out. I need you Finn. And you need me. We belong together, after everything that we've been through should be a testament of that. We can't function when were apart. I-I I love you. You don't need to keep up with me because you're already my equal."
Finn began shaking his head as he crossed his arms over his chest. More tears fell from his face. His eyes were tinted red as he looked at me. "I will never be your equal. Let's face it Rachel, we both knew this would happen." He stuttered out.
"No." I shook my head. "W-We were supposed to move to New York together. Then we were going to get married and by that time I'd be a Broadway star. We were going to have kids…." I trailed off as a small sob escaped my lips.
"Please Rachel, don't." he whimpered, shaking his head as he tried to wipe away his tears.
"Are you breaking up with me?" I asked, tears threatening to come out.
Nothing could be heard but silence. His eyes were still closed, hands shuffled deep into his pants. I could feel all the tiny cracks in my heart begin to deepen. I brought a hand up to cover my mouth as I waited for him to answer. My chest felt as if I had been hit with a 40lb bag. The edges of my stomach twisted and turned into a tight knit knot. I clutched my stomach as my eyes traveled down to the floor. He's going to break my heart. Minutes felt like hours as silence continued between us. After what felt like ages the edges of his jaws contracted as if to speak but quickly closed. He opened his teary brown eyes.
"Yes." He finally whispered.
The world around me started spinning. Immediately I grabbed onto the edge of the locker to keep me from falling to the ground. A small sob escaped from my lips as I clutched at my chest. Everything I had ever known started to crumble. Again my brown eyes glanced up into the eyes of the boy I truly loved with all my heart. The air around me seemed to be squeezing the life out of me. And for another second I couldn't breathe. My world was spinning into a dark shadow, with no one to hold onto. My heart felt like it was being buried alive. I looked away from him, anywhere but at him. Because looking into those eyes would only bring more pain. Other students were casually walking by without a care in the world. As if everything was fine. Like if the world wasn't ending. Oh god, please. Please don't let me die. I suddenly came across a pair of hazel eyes staring directly at me. Perfect blonde hair stood in place as Quinn Fabray watched me with a stoic expression. She was completely unreadable. I stared at her with empty eyes and a broken heart. Every emotion I wore lay out in my arms for any and all to see. Was this what she wanted all along? To see me fall? Well her wish came true. Here I am. Dead and broken. I'll bet she's mocking me right now. Maybe even enjoying the pain I'm in. Again nothing could be read from the blonde's expression as she continued staring at me. After a few seconds her face turned a little sympathetic. I blinked the tears away to make sure I was seeing things correctly but by the time I looked again her face was emotionless.
Another wave of pain coursed in her lower stomach which brought me back to reality as I tore my eyes away from the blonde and back to him. It didn't matter anymore. If the blonde wanted to use this to humiliate her she didn't care. None of it mattered anymore. I looked back at him. His movements were stilled, shoulders tensed. He doesn't say anything. And he won't meet my eyes. A few more tears fall down his face as he reaches for me. Instinctively I quickly pull away from his grasp. Don't touch me. Don't come near me. I can no longer breathe nor take it anymore. Gathering a final breath I glanced back up at him.
"This is the moment in your life that you're going to regret for the rest of your life. I hope and pray that you will be able to live with that."
After that I quickly shuffled past him and down the hall, passing by the blonde staring after me with a pensive look.
"RACHEL!" His voice shouts out to me but I ignore it. I rush to my car, slamming the door shut. Another wave of emotion hits me with a fiery vengeance, breaking down the little walls I had left. My hands grip onto steering wheel as a flood of tears falls freely down my face. I can feel my body shaking as memories begin to evade my mind.
The first time I had ever met Finn. Our first kiss. Our first date. The first time we had an argument. Everything seemed to flood through my mind like a spinning reel. More gasps escaped from my lips as I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel. The first time we made love. A loud sob emanated from inside the car. My heart was broken, completely destroyed by the man I loved. And still love. I continued to shake and shiver. We had a plan. WE HAD A PLAN!
I slammed my fists into the steering wheel. He left me. And he's taken everything from me.
At that thought I glanced up in the rearview mirror. My messy dark auburn hair stuck out all over the place. Pink puffy eyes led down to my flustered cheeks and swollen lips. Was it all for nothing? Without another glance I hastily wipe the tears from my face and turn on the car. I had to get out of here. Anywhere but here…
My head hits the soft pillow, eyes staring at the wall away from my bedroom door. A pair of figures linger by the edge of my door with concerned expressions. Neither knowing what to do or say. I knew they wanted to comfort me but I wasn't ready for that. I couldn't handle the guilty expressions and the pity looks they would give me. If I did that, then that would mean this was real. I'd have to accept reality. But now was not the time.
The words fell out of my mouth with a hoarse voice. "I just need to be alone." My fathers glanced at each with knowing looks but altogether nod with compliance.
"You know where to find us." A gentle voice replied, sending a small amount of warmth around me.
I don't reply, instead I signal them with a small nod. The next thing I heard was the shuffling of feet and the closing of my door. I stifle another sob that threatened to come out from the back of my throat. My eyes burned and my heart ached. I tightly hugged a pillow to my chest, squeezing its essence to keep me from falling over again.
My brown eyes linger at my cell phone by the bedside table. A shaky hand reaches for it, turning on the phone. Immediately the screen lights up with a silly picture of Finn and me. I can't help but notice the happiness that we both had. There was a glimmer in my eyes that only Finn had brought out. We had wide smiles across our faces. I shut my eyes. I can't do it. I'm not ready. I quickly throw the phone across the room, getting the phone as far away from me. I'm not ready for the world.
Deep in the pit of my mind I knew only time would reveal the answers. But I didn't want to bother with that sort of thinking. All I could do was feel the emptiness within myself. It was as if I were a hallowed out version of myself and that every foolish dream I had ever had was a figment of my mind. I shifted my position on the bed as another memory infiltrated my head.
"Finn stop it!" I giggled out as he continued his attack on me.
"Say it!" he laughed out, using his arms to pin me onto my own bed.
"No, I will not!" I breathed out.
"Then I'm sorry I can't stop." He replied as his fingers immediately started tickling me again. My body began spazzing out as I breathed for air.
"Fine! I give up. You win!" I huffed out.
Immediately his body leaned back and his face lifted up from my shoulder. His red tinted face chuckled as he rose a brow up. He waited until I responded.
"Finn is the man." I sighed.
He lifted his arms in the air with victory. "YES! Finally it only took 30 minutes to get it out of you."
"At least I wasn't using tactical measures to get me to succumb to your demands." I retorted back with a playful manner.
"Aww don't be mad babe. You'll have your chance next time. That is if you could ever make me." He winked.
My jaw fell to the floor as I grabbed the nearest pillow in sight. "I'll show you buddy." I growled as I slammed the pillow into his face. His eyes widened as he rolled off the bed and grabbed my big stuffed bear.
"Ouch! Didn't even give me a chance to respond!" he laughed out.
"You'll have to be faster than that if you want to be able to keep up with me sweetie." She threw out.
He laughed as he dodged another attack of mine. The bear slammed into my back as I rounded the bed. I laughed again as Finn swept around the corner and pulled me into a tight lock grip.
"Though that may be true you still have one weakness." He whispered into my ear.
"Really and what's that?" I asked.
"Me." He replied as he captured my lips into a gentle kiss.
"I love you…." I sighed as we both held onto each other…..
:End of Flashback:
I lied awake that night trying not to think about him. But the all too real reality was that he'll be in my dreams tonight.
"Where are you?" Kurt asked as he brought himself closer to me.
I was pulled from my thoughts as I looked down at my untouched veggie wrap. With weary eyes I glanced around our table as Mercedes and Tina waited for my answer. I clenched my jaw as I lowered my eyes back down. With a simple shrug I replied, "Nowhere."
Kurt gave me that knowing look. "Sweetie you're heartbroken. You are not fine."
I gave another light shrug as my eyes casually glanced over at the jock table to where Finn was seated. He seemed distracted as his group of jock buddies began piling up a bunch of food on the table, daring someone to eat it. I closed my eyes as I shifted my attention back to our table. Tina kept quiet as Mercedes and Kurt eyed me like a hawk. As if they were waiting for a mental breakdown or something.
"Have you even been getting any sleep?" Kurt asked as he took a sip from his vitamin water.
I shook my head and pinched my lips together. Of course I wasn't getting any sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw him. It's like everywhere I turn there he is, rubbing it in my face. Which I know he isn't because that's not the type of person he is. But it feels that way. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I sure as hell can't concentrate on anything for more than 2 seconds. Only 3 more hours left and then it's the weekend. No school, no homework, no glee, and most importantly no Finn.
Blaine arrived a few minutes later and took a seat next to Kurt. "Sorry I'm late, I had to retake a test for Psych. The teacher's a bitch. She wouldn't even let me take it after school. Hey Rach, how are you..."
Kurt immediately shot him a look to shut up. Blaine's eyes rose as he gave me an apologetic smile. I could feel Kurt's hand rubbing up and down my back. I wish everyone would stop treating me like I'm going to break.
"What the hell?" Mercedes huffed out as she threw a glare past my head.
"Oh, please tell me I'm not the only one who's noticed." Kurt replied as he leaned in further into the table.
"No I've see it too and it's starting to piss me off." Mercedes answered as she glanced over at Kurt.
"What's going on?" Blaine asked as took a bite into his taco.
"Someone has a staring problem." Kurt replied as he took a quick glance behind them.
"Who?" I asked with a bit of hope. Maybe Finn has finally realized his mistake. Maybe he's finally admitted that he's wrong.
"Quinn, she's been staring at us almost this entire week." Kurt whispered.
I quickly deflated at the news. My hope dying out with a loud sizzle.
"I know! Weird right? Shh! Don't look over there!" Mercedes directed to Blaine who was trying to get a glimpse of the blonde.
"What's her deal?" Kurt sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.
In the back of my mind I had a strange feeling of who exactly she was looking at. I shifted in my seat and twisted myself around to look at Quinn.
"Rachel what are you doing?" Kurt whispered to me.
"Are you crazy?" Mercedes joined in as she gave a small squeal.
"She's totally lost her mind." Kurt nodded.
My eyes automatically found her at the cheerleading table with all the popular girls. I expected her to be heavily involved with her table's conversation but instead she looked uninvolved and absent-minded. I continued looking at her until she threw a glance in my direction. Her brows rose with surprise as she realized she'd been caught. Immediately her face smoothed out evenly, showing no emotion. Those hazel eyes held mine for a few seconds before nonchalantly looking away. My suspicions were correct as I turned back around in my seat. Quinn never looked back again.
"What the hell were you doing?" Kurt asked as he glanced back at the cheerios table.
"Don't worry she's not staring at you all. She's staring at me." I huffed out with annoyance.
"Why? You haven't even done anything to her." Mercedes stated.
"Yeah but that's just Quinn." Kurt sighed as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
Kurt was right, what was with the blonde. Throughout the week I had noticed the blonde's settle glances but never thought much of it. Was she expecting an extreme breakdown too? I bet she is just waiting for me to humiliate myself to continue her fatal torture against me. It would be another thing for her to make fun of me for. But to be honest I could have cared less about Quinn's actions against me. After what I've been through in the last week couldn't even compare to all the torturing she's done in the past years. If anything I'd just be giving her new material to work with.
Just then I felt the presence of someone behind me. I glanced up from my spot on the table and to the expressions displayed on my friend's faces. Their wide eyes and gape mouths told me all that I needed to know. I lifted my eyes above my head to find a hand hovering above me with a large purple slushy in hand.
You have got to be kidding me.
Sucking in a deep breath, I closed my eyes. Within seconds my body was shocked to life. Cool ice pellets slowly trickled down my face and onto my clothes. Chills consumed my body as I slowly stood up from the table. My eyes shifted over to the jock table. Finn's eyes were wide as he caught my eye. Sympathy shot out from his brown eyes as he slowly stood up from his table. I could feel myself on the edge of tears as I shook my head. Instead I glanced back at the retreating cheerio with a cup in hand. At that moment hazel eyes met mine once more. The one thing that could be read off the blonde's face was guilt. I shook my head as I quickly ran out of the cafeteria doors.
Two pairs of eyes stared after her with guilt.
What did yall think? Just a mental note Quinn wasn't the one who slushied Rachel, it was some other girl. I know it's got a lot of Finn but remember he was her first love. So there won't be any Quinn and Rachel lovey dubey stuff yet. Things take time and that's how I'm writing it. I want everyone to slowly see how things will play out. But I'm pretty sure you will very much enjoy this story. Tell me if you want more!