Rating: strong R for talk of sexy things
Summary: A while ago neaf prompted me to to write Blaine asking Cooper about condoms when they were younger. I never wrote it. Now, mailroomorder has prompted Cooper buying condoms because Blaine took the last one. I didn't write that either.
Nonetheless, this fic is about Blaine and Cooper, the last condom and asking for advice about sex, New York and Kurt getting pretty good at talking because of all the practice he's had.
A/N: Thank you all so very much for the lovely reviews left on Displacement. I know I very rarely respond to reviews but they mean the world to me and with several trolls in the dungeon on that fic it really meant a lot to me that people too some time to drop me a line. Always know that if you leave me a review I will read it a dozen times and preen and feel pretty damned special. So thank you!
If Blaine goes through with this, Kurt will owe him. A Lot. If Blaine goes through with this he will be in a position to ask for anything he wants. Anything. Home-baked brownies or help with his French or…or…or sexual favours.
Not that he'd force anything but sometimes Kurt laughs at his ideas and waves them aside because Kurt thinks they're silly. Strawberries and chocolate sauce, for example: deemed too messy. That one time Blaine hinted that Kurt should let his hips do what they wanted when Blaine had his mouth around Kurt's cock: deemed too….what was the word Kurt had used…vulgar.
But if he does this…
He drapes himself over the back of the couch, leaning forward and waiting for Cooper to turn his eyes from the game on the TV and acknowledge him. Kurt and Maria, Cooper's girlfriend, are in the kitchen, laughing loudly and slowly making dinner. Blaine's been excused from table duty for this.
"What's up little brother?" Cooper eventually asks as Blaine rests there on his elbows.
Blaine swallows. "Got a favour to ask," and his voice sounds too high, like he's twelve years old again. He's almost finished high school, goddamnit, he can do this. This is what brothers are for.
Cooper's eyes sparkle and he responds smoothly, "What do you need?"
Blaine swallows again and his eyes shift to the television. Come on. "I need to borrow a condom." He grits his teeth.
Cooper's neck turns and he stares and then smirks. "Borrow?"
Shit. "No. Have. Yes." Blaine wants to close his eyes but he won't give his brother the satisfaction.
"You and Kurt planning a little nookie tonight?" Coopers teases, twisting up so he's sitting sideways on the couch and still smirking.
"So what if we are? Mom and dad aren't here and Kurt's only down for the weekend." He bites his lip. "You weren't meant to be here tonight."
Coopers laughs, "Yeah and we weren't meant to be here this morning either but that didn't stop you from taking an hour in the bathroom this morning, with Kurt." Blaine fidgets, hands clenching and unclenching, he'd thought they wouldn't notice. Cooper's expression softens. "If we'd known we were gate-crashing your little love-nest, we would have gotten a hotel." And he's serious even though he's smirking again.
Blaine huffs. "No, no. I like that you're here. Kurt likes Maria and he likes that I get to spend time with you. Just…" he remember why he's stuck in this awkward conversation, why the small of his back is starting to pang from being bent over so long. "Can you give me a condom or not?"
Cooper laughs again and then he's twisting in his seat and pulling his wallet from his back pocket. Blaine doesn't know why but watching this makes him grimace.
"Oh, what Cooper?"
Between his fingers Cooper holds up a single condom. "Bad luck buddy," he says as he thumbs through the compartments of his wallet and finds nothing.
"You're going to…" Blaine trails off.
"You betcha I'm going to…" he sees the scandalized expression on Blaine's face and starts gyrating obscenely on the sofa, working his arms and his hips and making Blaine wince again and look away.
"Like you can talk."
"But can't you—"
"What do you even need it for?"
Blaine stares at him, at the honest-to-god question on his face and splutters: "For sex, Cooper."
"Yeah, but, I mean you're not going to get pregnant and you're both clean so…" he trails off.
It's an entirely inappropriate moment for Blaine to puff up his chest a little at how far Cooper has come to trust both him and Kurt since that first talk over the phone that was all STDs and safe sex and not trusting a sixteen year old heart.
"We still use condoms." Blaine throws back flatly, squirming and wishing he'd worked harder to talk Kurt into blowjobs and handjobs and dirty kissing.
Cooper turns fully in his seat then. "You know I've been meaning to ask about that—"
"—Because I kind of want to try it with Maria, see what all the rage is—"
"Cooper, stop," Blaine puts both hands up in the air and backs away.
Cooper just roles his eyes, "Come on, you tell me all about what—"
"I do not!"
"Yeah, but I hear it through the walls—"
"You do not!"
"What do you need a condom for if you're clean?"
"Google it" Blaine pleads, not at all willing to talk about mess and hygiene and better safe than sorry and working your way up to those things. He's still in High School, for god's sake.
"Cooper." It's the sharp, cutting voice of Kurt from the doorway and Blaine is at once thankful and even more mortified.
Cooper sulks for a second, looking at Blaine and hesitating. "Yeah?"
"Maria wants some help with the table," Kurt says shortly and Blaine marvels at the fact that when Kurt needs it he can wield power, even over Cooper.
Cooper gives Blaine one last meaningful look, indicating quite clearly he plans on bringing it back up and then he slides his wallet back into his pocket and walks out of the room.
Kurt waits until he hears Maria's voice, muffled by the closed door.
"No luck?" he asks with a whisper as he moves closer.
"I asked," Blaine says. "But he only had one left and he said he needed it for…"
Kurt stares. "Gross."
"And then all that was about…" Kurt trails off, now with his hands on Blaine's hips, pushing him back against the sofa and stepping between his legs.
"He wants advice." Blaine sounds baffled.
"About?" Kurt has started playing with the waistband of Blaine's pants.
Eyes wide, Kurt stares at him, tries to see if he's joking. "Wow."
"Yeah, scarred for life," Blaine mumbles, leaning forward to steal a kiss, hoping it will make him feel a bit better about sitting down to dinner in ten minutes with Cooper and Maria. He hums and rocks his hips, "You know we could just…"
Kurt laughs under his breath. "We've been through this," he murmurs, kissing the corner of Blaine's lips as he sighs. "When you come to New York we'll take that step."
"But we're ready now," Blaine whines.
"Ready to come inside each other," Kurt whispers, close to his ear, well aware of Cooper's super-human hearing and his ability to appear without warning. This is too much fun though. "Bare and spilling?" Kurt continues, feeling the shudder in Blaine's skin.
"Who taught you to talk like that?" Blaine teases but his voice is thready, turned on already.
Kurt laughs lightly. "Six months of only being able to skype, phone and text your boyfriend will teach you these things."
Blaine knows that. Oh, he knows.
"We're ready though," Blaine whispers, lips pressed to Kurt's neck.
"I am," Kurt says. "For that. But not for having to sneak sheets downstairs to the laundry because Cooper would catch us and imagine that conversation."
Kurt cuts him off with another kiss, both hands splayed across Blaine's cheeks. "No," he says adamantly. "When we do this properly naked I want the sheets to be unsalvageable. I know that sounds gross but we've talked about this and…and I want to spend the whole night with you. In New York, as soon as you get there, the whole night in bed without anything between us.
"I want to make you come so many time you beg me to stop. I want to taste it and feel it. I want you inside me. And I want me inside you. And I want us falling asleep like that because we can't move. It'll leak out onto the sheets and be messy, I think maybe…decadent…and in the morning it will be gross and we'll probably just throw the sheets out. But that's what I want."
Blaine stares at him. That's always been the plan, they've talked about it so many times and Kurt's said as much over the phone but never in person, never hushed and breathless in his ear and his cock's hard in his pants and that can still hear the muffled voices and the clang of pans from the kitchen.
Kurt laughs at him when he's been staring for too long. "I'm sure we can think of something else to do tonight," he says seductively, as though he needs to try.
Blaine just nods. He's about to say something and then Cooper's calling them from the doorway, waggling his eyebrows when he sees how close they're standing but not at all able to fathom the conversation he just missed.
As Blaine passes by him, Cooper grabs him by the arm and stills him with a look. He waits until Kurt is back in the kitchen and then he holds up the condom between them and says, "You have it."
Blaine raises a hand to take it and then hesitates.
"You're not gonna see him again for months, right? I see Maria every day." Cooper shrugs and there's a pink blush to his cheeks and Blaine grins. "Seriously," Cooper urges, shifting onto his other foot.
Again Blaine hesitates. "No," he says, "We don't…We can wait."
Cooper stares and Maria calling to them makes them both jump. "You sure?" Cooper asks, a bit bewildered, "Because we can do other stuff."
Blaine bites back another declaration of 'Gross' and just settles on shrugging, blushing himself and saying, "So can we."
Cooper raises an eyebrow, "So long as you're sure."
And Maria calls again, sounding impatient.
Blaine gives a rueful smile. "Yeah. We're gonna wait," and then pushes past into the kitchen.