This is what happens when I procrastinate during my studies.

T.T gah…I really don't want study *sniffle*

Well, I hope this oneshot (might turn into a two-shot) entertains you. It sure kept me distracted ;)

~~Meddlesome Jutsu~~

"Sasuke," Naruto growled, keeping his arms in front of him in a defensive position. "Come the fuck home."


"Sasuke," the blonde grit out more forcefully, sage eyes narrowed. "You are going home."


Everyone stood panting in a circle around the pair of shinobi. Both sides remained fixed to their stations on the battlefield as they watched Sasuke and Naruto circle each other for the thirtieth time. No one dared interrupt the two men. They all knew that this moment in time was the final hit, the one that would push either side to victory. Smoke billowed somewhere from behind but the shinobi paid it no mind. All eyes were trained on watching the pair, either from perches in trees or from a lower vantage point set on the ground.

Madara's undead army stood to the side as the masked man sat upon a tree branch, his gaze centered on the two bloodied and bruised shinobi. He had faith in his descendent. Confidence in the young man that did not waver; he knew that today his dream of dominating the world would at last come to fruition. Once Naruto fell, his fellow ninjas would soon follow. A smile crept its way onto his face as he watched the two boys circle one another once more. Just a few more minutes…

Naruto pressed his feet into the earth beneath him as they completed another revolution. "You are coming home, bastard."


Sasuke spat a mouthful of blood onto the ground before wiping his cheek of the remaining red residue. Naruto watched his hand, gaze affixed to how the limb slowly returned to its defensive post in front of the Uchiha. Sighing to himself, the blonde let his sage mode dispel before letting his hands drop.

"What the hell do you want me to do, teme?"

The Uchiha growled, "Leave me alone!"

"Other than that." Naruto rolled his eyes as a light wind blew at them, causing a few spikes of shock blonde hair to flitter in the breeze.

Sasuke's gaze flicked towards the movement before returning to his target's unguarded position. Red eyes glowed darkly as he spoke venom laced words. "Fight me."

"We've been fighting for two hours now!" Naruto objected, hand coming up to rub his sweaty forehead. "You know I can't kill you. And trust me, it's not because I can't. I don't want to kill you!"

"Hn." The Uchiha grunted, a drop of blood falling from his left eye as he glared hatefully at the blonde nin.

Naruto sighed as he looked upon Sasuke's face. The other man's features were still set in a mask of anger and hatred. Madness played within his eyes and it seemed that indeed there was not a shred of humanity left inside the man. His shoulders slumped as his hands dropped to his sides, body weary from the fighting and years of chasing that all boiled down to this moment. "And you don't want to kill me either."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, a chuckle falling past his lips. "I have every intention of killing you."

"Then how come you haven't done so already?" Naruto raised a brow, crossing his arms as he did so.

The Uchiha stilled, frowning to himself.

He was not really able to comprehend it either.

For some reason, whenever he spotted a weakness in Naruto's defense…where he knew he'd be able to strike a fatal blow…he always paused. Even if it was for a few seconds, that short lapse was enough time for the blonde to shield himself from an attack.

He had had fifteen of those openings during this battle, of which he took none.


Kiba cracked his neck as he sat atop Akamaru, watching Sasuke and Naruto, his fellow shinobi circle each other like a fox and wolf. To his left stood Sakura and Hinata, fear and worry depicted clearly on their faces. Two feet away stood Kakashi, his good eye trained on the fight too. Kiba tilted his head when he saw the jonin's brow angle downwards. Turning his head back to the fight, Kiba tried to follow Kakashi's gaze to its exact location. His eyes nearly bulged out when he saw what seemed to be pink dust sprinkling over the two fighters.


Both Naruto and Sasuke looked up, trying to decipher where the sweet smelling particles were coming from. The Uchiha growled as the dust landed on his clothes, coating him in a powder of sakura blossom pink. His eyes scanned his opponent, red eyes narrowing when he didn't recall Naruto forming any hand signs. Had he somehow managed to weave them without him seeing?

"Is this some sort of jutsu?" Sasuke hissed venomously, trying to brush the pink dust from his sleeves.

Naruto sneezed loudly before trying to shield his face with the front of his jumpsuit. He gave his head a visible shake, eyes squinting to keep the dust from flying into his irises. "It ain't me, teme! I thought it was you!"

"It's not!" Sasuke growled out, "Does this look like something I would do?"

"Hell if I know!" The blonde grunted, the lower portion of his face still covered, effectively muffling his voice a bit. "I thought it might have been one of your damn genjutsus!"

Naruto tried to brush the bothersome dust off his clothes but the damn stuff just stayed put, as if glued to him with some invisible paste. Sasuke sneezed as he inhaled some of the pink dust, blinking madly as it crept into his eyes and nose. He tried moving out from beneath the freely falling particles, but the dust just followed him as if it had a mind of its own.


"Neji!" Kakashi ordered the shinobi standing to his left as he uncovered his sharingan in efforts to try and make out who was casting this jutsu. "Find out where that pink dust is coming from!"

The Hyuga needn't be told twice. Training his eyes towards Sasuke and Naruto, he folded his hands together before letting his birthright come forth. "BYAKUGAN!"

The veins in his face protruded from beneath his skin as he scanned the horizon, sky and field. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. He could find no point of origin for this strange phenomenon. Scrunching his nose, he turned his head towards Kakashi and sighed. "I cannot detect anything, Kakashi-sensei."

The silver haired jonin tensed, his eyes trained on his two students. What the hell was going on?


"Damn it, Sasuke!" Naruto sneezed again as he vainly tried to scrub the pink dust off himself. "This is all your fault!"

"My fault?" Sasuke hissed. A cough erupting from his throat as another bout of dust assailed his air passage. "How did your idiot of a brain conclude that this was my fault?"

"Because!" Naruto sputtered, "If you would just come home and listen to the people that love you, we wouldn't be here right now!"

Suddenly the raining dust stopped, and just as quickly as it appeared…it vanished.

The two shinobi blinked at each other, realizing from the other's appearance that the pink dust had somehow healed all their cuts and bruises and somehow managed to repair all the rips and tears in their clothes.

Another interesting thing Sasuke noted was that for some reason…his body now felt extremely hot. The clothes on his back were nearly scorching him!

"Fuck!" He heard Naruto exclaim.

Looking up from his inspection of himself, he saw the blonde wrestling off his jacket, throwing it to the ground like it was poison. Off flew the shinobi headband and the black mesh shirt, with Naruto's sandals following quickly behind.

His skin felt as if it were bubbling beneath the fabric of his clothes! Unable to bear the searing heat any longer, Sasuke quickly grabbed for his collared grey shirt and tugged it off, throwing it the ground.


"What the hell are they doing?" Tsunade yelled from atop her summoned slug Katsuyu. Beside her Shizune shrugged her shoulders and Shikamaru only grunted. Even he didn't know what to make of this situation. One minute the two were fighting, the next they were stripping off their shirts as if burned. He glanced up at the cloudless sky suspiciously. Something…or someone was intervening.


Panting, Sasuke rested his palms on his thighs as he stared at Naruto. The blonde was severely flushed and breathing laboriously, his sapphire eyes almost fully lidded as he rolled his head to the side. An odd sensation passed through the Uchiha's body as he eyed a drop of sweat cascade down the blonde's throat and roll down his lightly muscled chest. Feelings long since buried and thought forgotten slowly boiled to the surface, causing the Uchiha to take one fearful step back.


He had severed these feelings long ago! Threw them out! Discarded them beside Naruto's unconscious body at the Valley of the End!

"Damn it!" He yelled, burying his fingers in his hair and shaking his head furiously from side to side.

Naruto looked up, watching the Uchiha quiver a few feet from him. The other shinobi was sweating rivers, his body shining like a beacon as the light reflected off of him. His heart suddenly clenched, shooting a pain like none he had ever felt before through his body. As he clutched his chest, something tightened in his groin causing him to audibly gasp.


"Gaara," Temari said, looking up to her brother who was hovering over them on a platform of sand, "Something isn't right."

The redhead grunted. Jade eyes fixed to the two men standing in the middle of the circle that the allied shinobi alliance had created. He slowly glanced around the ring, eyes finding the other kage scattered around. Neither of them seemed to be taking a step forwards to intervene.


"What should we do, Gaara?"

Looking down at his sister, the kazekage frowned. "We wait."


The blonde staggered towards the Uchiha, falling as he reached him. "Fuck you, Sasuke." Groaning he grabbed Sasuke by the fabric of his pants and pulled him down as he fell. "This is all your fault!"

"Shut up!" Sasuke panted, gritting his teeth as his erection rubbed harshly against his pants. What was happening to him? He had completely lost control over himself! All his mind was able to picture for some indiscernible reason was Naruto, completely unclothed and writhing on the ground! It was simply impossible! Where had these thoughts come from!

He ground his teeth together, fists clenched tightly as he shook his head furiously from side to side.

Damn it…

He knew where it came from.

It had been a fantasy of his long ago, when he had still been part of team seven.

A fantasy, mind you, that he hadn't revisited in over three years!

Shit, this must have been the effect of that stupid jutsu! He would never be thinking of this sort of thing in battle! It was just impossible! Maybe…maybe he had imagined fucking the blonde in his moments of weakness back at Orochimaru's lair. He flinched as memories of masturbating on his bed to the thought of thrusting into his best friend resurfaced in his mind causing him to groan hoarsely.

Hearing Sasuke emit such an animalistic sound made Naruto's inside's tremble. The tightness in his groin began to spread through his legs. What the hell was going on? Why the fuck was he getting an erection in the middle of a battlefield?

"Shit," Naruto hissed as he tried to stand and only achieved a rubbing of his groin against the hard dirt floor. "Stupid teme."

"Dobe," Sasuke seethed, grabbing Naruto by his shoulder and forcing the blonde to catch his gaze. "Don't. Talk."

Not another word. Not even a sigh. He was quickly approaching the end of his rope! If Naruto continued to moan and groan on the ground like that, he wouldn't be able to hold back. It was like all those feelings he had locked away all of a sudden came back, ten times more potent than before!

He wanted him. So fucking bad.

And he couldn't turn it off!

Naruto winced as he maneuvered himself into a sitting position; one eye trained on Sasuke's shaking shoulders. It occurred to him that this was his best chance at trying to get through that wall the Uchiha had built up. Sasuke looked as if he was barely able to keep it together! So licking his lips, the blonde decided to ignore his arousal and try to focus on something that was more important to him than anything in the world.

"Why won't you come home?"

"Shut up!" Sasuke barked, eyes narrowed so thinly that he resembled a snake ready to strike.

Gulping, Naruto disregarded the heated glare and pressed onwards. "That's not an answer, Sasuke! I know all about what the Elders did! And I agree with you! What they did was horrible, they had no right! But that doesn't mean you have to take it out on innocent people!"



"Shut up!" Sasuke hissed, snatching Naruto's forearm in his tight fist. The blonde winced at the severity of the hold but did not let his gaze waver. "IT'S BECAUSE I KNEW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE! SEE? YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! Grabbing the blonde's other wrist; Sasuke pushed the younger man down, locking his hands over his head.

"So you will deny me and everyone else a chance at happiness?" Naruto murmured, his eyes locking with Sasuke's swirling sharingan. "You hate me so much…that you would destroy everything I long for? H-have I not suffered e-enough for you?"

Sasuke's lips thinned as he watched the moisture in the blonde's eyes gather.

"Sakura loves you," Naruto said hoarsely, "And I love her…"

Sasuke winced. Hearing the dobe voice his feelings for the annoying rosette didn't hurt any less than it did back then. At that precise moment, the sharingan suddenly disappeared from the Uchiha's eyes.

But it wasn't by any of his choosing.

He blinked harshly, feeling his hate and anger diminish from a raging fire to a ball sized flame. Suddenly, everything that had been eating at him day in and day out suddenly vanished. As if someone had taken an eraser to his pain and rubbed it away to leave behind only slight traces of an ache. Refocusing his eyes, the Uchiha stared at the blonde beneath him.

"…But I don't mind if she chooses you. Because you are my best friend, and I would do anything for you."

Sasuke lowered his head, letting his bangs cover his eyes. For some reason…his heart felt extremely heavy. A feeling he hadn't felt ever since he left to join Orochimaru. "You're still such an idiot."

"Hey," Naruto growled, "I'm pouring out my heart and soul over here. A little less mocking would be nice."

Grunting, Sasuke pushed his knee between the blonde's legs, parting them slightly as he leaned forwards. Naruto's eyes widened as a pleasurable tremor ran through his groin. "Have I ever shown signs of wanting Sakura by my side, romantically?"

"Well, no." Naruto scrunched his nose.

A part of him suddenly wanted Naruto to understand.

Why he wanted the idiot to get it now was as mindboggling as why he was currently sporting an erection so hard and hot it could melt butter.

"Who did I spend all my time with?"

Naruto paused, not quite understanding where the Uchiha was going with this. "Me."

"Who the fuck did I nearly die for twice?"

"Now wait one damn minute, teme –"

Sasuke glared, "WHO?"


"Have you ever thought why?"

"Because you're my best friend!" Naruto said automatically, exasperation evident on his flushed face.

"That's what it was at first, yes." Sasuke growled lowly in his throat. "But not why I did it later."

Naruto furrowed his brow, slightly distracted by the pleasurable sensation emitting from his nether regions as Sasuke's knee pushed into his groin. He tried to shift but Sasuke moved with him as if trying to keep him from retreating.

"Damn it, bastard! Stop pushing into me, I can't think!"

"Why?" Sasuke growled, leaning down towards Naruto's ear. "Does it feel bad?"


Madara glared up at the heavens. Something had broken his hold on the young Uchiha. He glared down at the two men, sharingan directed right at the pair.

Sasuke was nearly lying atop the other shinobi and it didn't look like he was about to sever the other ninja's throat.

This was not good.


Heat flared through Naruto's face as he shifted his gaze to stare at a rock a few paces from him. A slight breeze blew from the south past by them and the blonde felt goosebumps rise on his bare skin. Though he wasn't so sure on whether it was because of the breeze.

"I think Sakura knew, which was why she always hit you."

Turning his gaze back to Sasuke's face, Naruto noticed something strange.

Those eyes.

They looked different and yet…so familiar.

Then it came to him.

This was what Sasuke's eyes had looked like before Orochimaru had placed the curse seal on his neck!

The Uchiha pressed his knee into Naruto's arousal again, growing impatient. He knew the idiot wasn't very bright, but he did all but spell it out for him. "Dobe."

"I don't know," Naruto mumbled, scrunching his nose.

Sasuke mentally growled. Okay. One more clue and that's it. If he still didn't get it, then fuck it all.

"Sakura's most important person was me. Your most important person was her –"

"No," Naruto shook his head, "You're my most important person."

Sasuke frowned. "I thought you said you loved Sakura."

"I do."

"But I'm your most important person?"

"Yes," Naruto nodded.

"Dobe," Sasuke nearly closed the distance between them, his breath brushing against Naruto's lips as he spoke. "Your most important person is the one you love the most."

"But you said I was your most important person back at the Valley of the End!" Naruto said quickly, his brain trying to make sense of the puzzle pieces that were slowly aligning.

"I did."

"But then…" Naruto swallowed thickly, "Does that mean y-you l-love me?"

"Hn." Sasuke let his hand travel up Naruto's chest to come up and cradle the shinobi's chin. "Now the only question is…who do you really love more?"


"Kakashi sensei," Sakura murmured, eyes trained on her teammates.

The jonin sighed, having long since given up trying to comprehend the sudden atmosphere change between the two. He had a high suspicion that it had to do with the rain of pink dust from before. It must have dampened Sasuke's rage so that he could finally listen long enough to hear what Naruto had to say. And if the Uchiha's anger was suddenly snuffed out…that meant all the other emotions that he had buried deep within him where finally able to rise to the surface. Like his feelings for Naruto. Which would have been a plus if it didn't look like he was about to rape the young shinobi.

"Sensei," Sakura repeated, "Why is Sasuke touching Naruto like that? Is it some sort of jutsu? I haven't ever seen anything like it."

Kakashi shoved his hands into his pant pockets and turned to look at the worried kunoichi.

"Do you remember," he started, "Back when Sasuke was still part of team seven…how Naruto and Sasuke were?"

Sakura scrunched her nose, "You mean how close they were?"

Kakashi nodded.

"Well…they were like brothers."

The jonin sighed. It Sakura continued to lie to herself than there was no point in explaining to her what was going on.

"Sakura," Kakashi said, "You first need to realize one very important thing about Sasuke."

"What?" The medic nin asked, green eyes wide and desperately trying to retain everything her teacher was telling her.

"Why hasn't he really tried to kill Naruto yet?"

"B-but he has!"

Kakashi shook his head, "Not really, Sakura. Not like he really tried to kill you."


"I love Sakura," Naruto mumbled, his eyes wide with realization.

Sasuke winced inwardly, despising the former female member of his team even more, now that his raging erection was so heavily set on plunging into the blonde. He wanted him so bad right now. It was quite incomprehensible really. Even throughout their whole talk, he still felt his cock throb within its fabric confines, begging for release as he carefully listened to every single word the blonde uttered.

"I love Sakura," Naruto repeated before licking his lips and locking his eyes with Sasuke. "But I can't live without you."

Time seemed to stop for the Uchiha as Naruto continued to speak.

"Back at that bridge, I told you so," the blonde shifted awkwardly underneath the older shinobi. "I said that you were either coming home with me or we were both going to die…simply because…I can't imagine m-my life w-without yo –"

Naruto's last word was cut off by Sasuke's mouth claiming his lips. The kiss was rough, demanding and completely mind blowing. Teeth nipped at Naruto's bottom lip, pulling it down and causing a groan to rumble forth from the blonde's mouth as his erection rubbed wonderfully against Sasuke's bare stomach, creating a friction that was most welcome and deeply desired. Parting his lips, Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck and let the Uchiha plunder his mouth.

It was pure bliss. To feel him so close. Sasuke just couldn't get enough. A fantasy he thought impossible was suddenly coming to life, three years after he dreamt it! He hungrily let his tongue rove over the recesses of Naruto's mouth. Committing every single dip and turn to memory. Another moan escaped from the blonde as Sasuke rubbed their tongues together creating a heat that they both felt right down to the tips of their toes.

When Naruto was no longer able to deny his lungs the air they craved, he pushed away from the heady kiss and gasped, taking in a huge breath.

After a minute or so, he let his head fall back against the earth, groin throbbing.

"It's always you," he smiled to himself as he let his fingers trail down to Sasuke's shoulder. "You…who manages to steal all my kisses."

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, "I plan on stealing much more than that, dobe." Sharingan now returned, Sasuke brought it to life as he quickly formed the hands signs necessary for his jutsu. "AMATERASU!"

"Hey," Naruto nervously said as the black flames circled the two of them. "W-What are you doing, teme?"

"Making sure no one sees something I've wanted to do to you for a long, long time."


Kiba's jaw dropped down as the black fire suddenly flared up, shielding his eyes from whatever pornographic scene was about to take place. Beside him Hinata was as red as a ripe tomato while Sakura just gaped, eye twitching.

"Oh god," Neji pressed his palms to his eyes, trying to dispel the image he just saw. Unfortunately, the black flames of Amaterasu didn't quite work on the Byakugan.

"I'm guessing they are going to have sex now." Sai smiled tilting his head to the side.

Sakura slowly turned her head to the side, fist forming within seconds as her eyes glowed red with rage. "SHUT UP!"

The smile quickly disappeared off Sai's face. Quickly, he pulled out a scroll and drew a hawk upon the white surface. He just barely missed getting mangled by the distraught women as he took to the sky, hand clutching his chest. "That was close."


"This is why I said we should have let the First mix the ingredients," Itachi glowered as he stared down from the heavens, watching with distaste as his brother threw off Naruto's pants. "Look what that Snake did!"

"They said make it potent," Orochimaru waved his hand, leering at the scene below. "So I made it potent."

"When I said make it potent," Minato cried, hands covering his eyes as he yelled into the direction where he thought Orochimaru was, "I MEANT THE AFFECTS OF THE JUTSU ON THE SHARINGAN!"

"Well I did make that potent too," Orochimaru grinned, "I just thought, why not make it interesting for us to watch too?"

"You despicable human being," Fugaku growled, fists at his sides. "Why on earth would I want to watch my son fornicate with another man?"

"Sasuke's fucking Naruto?" Minato said, horror stricken. Taking his hands away from his eyes and braving a look down, Minato's eyebrows angled downwards almost immediately. "HELL! NARUTO! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? DON'T LET THAT UCHIHA TAKE YOU! BE A MAN! TAKE HIM INSTEAD!"

"Wow," Jiraiya said, eyebrows raised as he gazed down at the pair, "I didn't think he'd swing that way…or use that technique on Sasuke either."

The third hokage just sat in his chair, shaking his head. "And I thought my generation was bad."

"Sasuke!" Itachi yelled, "You will not! DO you understand? NO! NO! BAD SASUKE!"

"What is going on?"

All the men turned to find standing amongst them the one woman who had the power to make the afterlife a miserable hell.

"Kushina!" Minato smiled widely, grabbing his wife's hand and pulling her away from the portal that let them gaze into the world of the living. "Let's go visit your great aunt, hm? We haven't seen her in ages!"

As the two left, the rest of the Konoha nin looked back through the window. Itachi cringed, covering his eyes.

He had no particular desire to see his younger brother fuck like a rabbit in heat.

No desire at all.

"Kami," Fugaku said hoarsely, covering his eyes and turning away from the portal. "Itachi, do not tell your mother."

"My lips are sealed."

"I don't know what the rest of you are complaining about," Orochimaru grumbled as he lecherously gazed down from above. "You wanted me to remove the madness from the sharingan and so I did…no one ever said I couldn't have fun with it too."

"How did you ever even think of doing something so risky?" Fugaku glared, arms crossed in front of him.

"Oh trust me," Orochimaru drawled, "That son of yours didn't need much of a push from me once the negative effects of the sharingan were removed. He'd been boning the blonde in his head for years."


"Nope," Orochimaru smirked. "Caught him jerking off in his room with a clone that highly resembled the blonde down there."

Fuguaku sputtered, eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head. He turned furiously towards his eldest son, finger pointed accusingly. "You made him this way."

Itachi rolled his eyes, "Sure, father. I made Sasuke gay."

"AND that's all my stomach can take," Jiraiya turned away from the portal and blinked furiously. "Fugaku…don't look."

Of course when you say don't look, that's the first thing the person does.


Yeah…so that's it. Don't know if this should be considered crack or what.

If you guys want a lemon scene, I can make this into a two-shot.

Hope you guys enjoyed it.

Reviews and Favs are greatly appreciated!