I'm new to Make it or Break it fanfiction but this is just a little something I've been playing with….
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Payson Keeler was the little engine that could. She had overcome absolutely everything in her path. Nothing could stop her from being great. However, she wouldn't lie and say it had been easy because it hadn't; coming back from a back injury that should've ended her career, sure as hell wasn't easy. Neither was knowing that it your fault that your family was in financial difficulties because of an experimental surgery that gave you back your dream. Neither was dealing with the fallout of kissing your coach and the entire world finding out. Neither was having to completely change your style of gymnastics because your body had change during your brief sabbatical from gymnastics. Neither was dealing with Ellen Beals on a daily basis. But at the end of the day she'd climbed those mountains and forded those streams. Payson Keeler was like rubber; she bounced back.
Today she was just having one of those days. Everything that could go wrong was going wrong. There had literally been no food in her house this morning, no eggs, no milk, no fruit. Her breakfast had consisted of a few fistfuls of dry cereal and a glass of water. There had been no hot water when she decided to shower. Then to make matters worse she had decided to walk to The Rock rather than wait for her mom and it had rained, had it not been for her umbrella she would've arrived at the gym looking like a drowned, frizzy, angry kitten. So it was just not her day.
She had spent the majority of the morning, after conditioning, try to nail an amanar on vault. No matter how hard she tried she kept over rotating and face-planting in the middle of the mat. She almost felt like she was regressing; it was infuriating and irritating and it made her want to hit something or someone.
One of her greatest strengths and indeed weaknesses was that she was slow to give up. Sometimes she just wasn't able to take a step back and see the bigger picture and that was the weakness side of it. However, it most certainly was a strength her tenacity and commitment usually paid off. For some reason it didn't seem like it would today.
The gym was quiet. Only a few gymnasts were still around, most of them were taking a well deserved lunch break. Payson preferred it like this, especially in her current state. She would like to avoid everyone seeing her fail, if at all possible.
She could feel a stare burning into the back of her skull as she prepared to start her run. She ignored it and the uneasy feeling it gave her. She blocked it out there was no room for emotions in her performance. She rocked up on to her tiptoes before taking off in the direction of the vault. As her feet hit the spring board, she could feel that it was wrong, she was going to land face first on the mat, again. However, not one to give up, she put her arms out in an attempt to salvage her vault but to no avail.
She picked herself up off the floor. What the hell was wrong with her? She swore under her breath and glared at a spot on the wall with such ferocity an on looker would assume that the slight stain had caused her some grievous harm.
"You need to take a break Payson," Sasha said from behind her. Payson spun around to look at the tall blond. He stood there in a navy polo neck t-shirt looking like a Greek god. Even with the strained expression on his face he looked glorious. Payson immediately erased that thought from her mind. She needed to stop thinking about Sasha in any way that wasn't normal or acceptable between a gymnast and a coach.
"I want to nail this. I'm going to nail this," she replied, still scowling.
"And you will, if you take a break. Right now, you're a walking, talking ball of emotion and frustration. Go calm down and eat something and come back when you're ready to focus."
"I'm going to nail this and then I'll take a break."
"As you wish Payson but be aware that you are getting progressively worse." Payson sensed that Sasha was pissed off, normally he would have called her on her insubordination by now that was probably to come.
If there was one thing Payson Keeler liked it was being right. By proxy therefore, she also liked proving people wrong. She'd done it with her back injury and she was planning to do it again momentarily. However, she knew she could only push Sasha so far and she didn't want him to snap. So she decided to ask permission.
"One more time and then I'll go?" she asked.
"I'm not going to kick out of the gym Payson but I would recommend that you follow my advice." Payson took that to mean 'yeah sure'.
She positioned herself at the end of the run way, she closed her eyes and visualised the vault and she went for it. When her feet hit the spring board this time it felt right. She completed the vault perfectly. The landing was messy though, she had to take a large step to steady herself but at least it was an improvement.
"Now please go and take a lunch break Payson," he said, the irritation clear in his voice. She wasn't sure what exactly inspired her but as she left she gave him a mock salute. Payson was fairly sure he chuckled as she left.
She wasn't quite sure where all of her confidence had come from there. It was like she was channelling Emily's stubbornness and Lauren's cheekiness. Sasha Belov messed with her head!
On any normal day Payson would've been ecstatic she had pretty much mastered the amanar on vault, a vault that would make her D-score one of the highest at the twenty twelve Olympics. She should have felt satisfied and content. Instead she felt empty; like something was missing. Her head was a mess; she couldn't get Sasha out of her mind. Ever since their kiss after she finally nailed her floor routine she hadn't been able to get him out of her head. Sure Sasha had pushed her away but that didn't stop the images from plauging her mind. Payson needed some way to relieve her stress but to do that she had to understand it.
Payson often found when she couldn't find a way to express herself it often helped to set it down on paper. She sat in the centre of her bed and opened her journal. She didn't use it that often so not too many of the pages were filled by her neat writing. Payson leaned over and grabbed her favourite black pen off her night stand.
She ran her hand over the page and then ran it through her hair. This was always the hardest part; starting to write, getting the flow going. She decided to start by writing the date in the centre of the first line '02.10.11'. Below it she wrote her title: 'Reasons I Can't Have a Crush on Sasha Belov'
1. He's my coach
2. People already accuse him of favouritism
3. The age gap
4. My mom's reaction
5. My dad's reaction
6. If it didn't work out it would be really awkward to have him coach me
7. HE'S MY COACH!
8. He doesn't feel the same way
She stared down at the neat list she had just written, despite the coherent argument she had made she wasn't completely convinced that she could never be with Sasha. Payson sighed and closed her journal; she knew that now was not the time to even entertain this in her head. The Olympics was less than a year away. She needed to focus on nationals and trials not Sasha Belov. This mess could wait until after a gold all-around medal hung around her neck. Winning was her first priority, everything else could wait.
*Slight change as ofthe 28/05/12 in the second section in case you're confused.