Yes…you all want to kill me. I know but this is an incredibly long chapter. So…don't hate me too much.
Kiba woke Naruto and Hinata up after he recovered from his laughing fit. Unfortunately, they didn't have much time to screw around. With Kakashi gone on his mission and their deadline approaching they needed to make a plan, follow through with the plan (hopefully successfully) and turn in their mission report and the stolen goods to Anko-sensei.
It was day six and their time was running short. They hoped to dear kami that Kakashi's mission wasn't too long.
"So what's the plan?" Kiba asked. They had all met up one of the training grounds they used with Anko.
Naruto sat down next to a conveniently placed dirt patch and grabbed a stick and started drawing in the sand.
Kiba's and Hinata's eyes grew wider and wider in disbelief and slight awe.
"This is a suicide mission." Kiba muttered.
"But it's the only plan that I can think of that's going to work. It's either that or burning down the academy. We still need to graduate so we can't do that." Naruto pointed out.
Naruto stood up suddenly and pulled his best friend and his girlfriend into a hug.
"We can do this guys. I believe in us." he said charismatically. Kiba's mouth stretched into a grin and hugged both of his friends back.
"Of course we can! We aren't Team Badass for nothing!"
"Hinata?" Naruto turned to his girlfriend. Hinata looked at the plan on the ground and then met Naruto and Kiba's eyes.
"We can do this!"
And with that the newly christened Team Badass were all in agreement. It was go time.
Most of the night was spent in preparation for the hardest (and first) mission of their young lives. Kiba had managed to get some sealing scrolls from his sister, at the price of never ever going into her room again. She was still pissed about those stink bombs he'd set off last month. The three pregenin practiced with said scrolls until each of them could use it with no problem. Naruto had spent hours practicing his Anko with Hinata much to her angst. Hinata's job was much more difficult. She had to once again enter Kakashi's house and study the physical appearance of the Icha Icha books and memorize its size and general weight. Which was actually much more difficult to do than anybody would think because she couldn't actually touch the books due to that darned seal.
Now, it was nighttime and it was finally time to put their slightly insane plan into action. If one thing went wrong…well Hinata didn't want to think about that.
Kiba came walking down the path and let out a seemingly random whistle.
But both Hinata and Naruto knew…Kakashi had just made it through the gates. Hinata took a deep breath to steel herself. She could do this. She would do this. For Kiba. For her. For Naruto. For her team. Full of determination she began her part and silently entered Kakashi's house through the window. Now she just needed to wait.
Kakashi walked up to his front door with absolutely no idea what was in store for him. He opened the door with his keys and subtly released the seal holding all of the wires in his house.
"Yo, Kakashi! I thought I recognized that scarecrow hair!" Anko shouted.
Kakashi sighed and turned reluctantly.
"Wanna go get some dango?" 'She' smirked at him.
"What I meant to say was 'if you don't buy me a dango I'm going to chop off your balls and bury them in Suna.'" Anko smiled sweetly with a slightly deadly tone in her voice.
"Well…when you put it that way…I'd be absolutely delighted." Kakashi sighed and locked his door back. He pushed back the slight unease he felt at leaving his house unprotected, but last time he had tried to stall her she came after him with a kunai dripping with some sort of poison. Later she had confided in him that the poison wouldn't kill him. Just leave him impotent for a few weeks. At the time Kakashi had just gotten the new Icha Icha book. That would have been a fate worse than death.
Pushing back his feeling of unease he walked into town with Anko to pacify her with dango.
Inside the house Hinata waited until she got her cue a bird call before she left the bathroom and thankfully there were no other traps about, but she still had to be very careful. Outside Kiba was watching for Kakashi and Anko aka Naruto. If Naruto didn't get back before Kakashi than their whole planned was doomed.
Hinata pushed back her negative thoughts. She believed in Naruto. She believed in her team. They could do this!
-With Kakashi and Naruto-
Anko dug into the plate of dango before her with gusto. After she was done with each skewer she tossed it into the ceiling creating a smiley face pattern. Soon she was out of dango.
"Oh Kakashi…" she smiled sweetly at him. Kakashi grimaced this was Anko's third plate of dango already. He was glad he had just went on a mission even though it was only a C-rank it still paid well enough to satisfy Anko's appetite.
Kakashi just sighed and pulled out his Icha Icha book and wearily waved at the chef for another plate of dango. Anko hummed happily. Inward in Anko disguise Naruto's heartbeat increased at the sight of the orange book. He couldn't just snatch it and run he doubted even the real Anko would do that. He had to be subtle. He had to be smooth. He had to be clever.
And Naruto was very clever.
"I've already ordered you a plate of dango." He said without looking up from his book.
Anko scowled, but inwardly Naruto was cheering. This was exactly what he was waiting for.
"I bet you couldn't go two hours without that book." Anko rolled her eyes at him.
Kakashi just smiled at her with his eyes closed.
"Maa why would I want to do that?"
But Anko pressed on.
"Pathetic. I'll make you a bet, Hatake."
"A bet?" Kakashi asked finally looking up from his book. Anko smirked.
"If you can go two hours without looking at an orange book I'll…"
"I'll refer to you as master whenever I enter your presence for a week." Anko was going to kill Naruto when this was all over if he lost the bet.
"And if you win?" he asked.
"A b-rank mission amount of food of my choice." On the plus side if this went right then Naruto would get a lot of ramen out of this and some dango for Anko too.
"Hm…I don't know…" Kakashi trailed off clearly thinking about her tempting yet amusing bet.
"What do you say Kakashi? Don't you want me to call you…master?" she purred.
Kakashi closed his eyes and giggled pervertedly. He put his book in his inside pocket.
"You've got yourself a deal."
"Time is 1130 hours. Bet is over in 1330 hours. Good luck Hatake." She smirked.
40 minutes into the bet and Kakashi hadn't peeked at the book once. Anko narrowed her eyes at him and Kakashi only stared at her behind his mask innocently. She suddenly smirked.
"Better close your eyes."
Anko reached for him and managed to snag the book Kakashi hurriedly shut his eyes.
"Anko, I swear if you do anything to my book…" He trailed off warningly.
"Don't worry Hatake I just want to see what all the fuss is about." Anko noisily flipped a few pages and Kakashi relaxed slightly. His hearing telling him that no pages were being ripped out and his nose telling him nothing was burning.
What was actually happening was an exchange. Naruto had quickly switched a random orange book he had with Kakashi's Icha Icha. The size, shape and weight were nearly perfect.
Anko let out a noise of disgust.
"This is boring. I don't know what you see in this. Real life is much more interesting." Let it be known that Naruto did not actually look at the book. This is just his general view on reading. He'd rather be out training or with Hinata. He pushed the book back into Kakashi's chest.
"Here! Take your crappy book."
Kakashi hurriedly pocketed his book and sighed in relief and opened his eyes.
Anko suddenly cursed.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her.
She just scowled.
"I promised my snakes a nice human sized meal. They get pissy and start spitting poison if I'm late."
"Can't you do it later?" Kakashi asked feigning interest.
She just glared at him.
"Last time I did that the fuckers chased down some puny little academy students. I had to save the little shits."
"The academy students?" Kakashi asked.
"No," Anko snorted, "the snakes. Didn't want then to get a stomach ache."
Sadly, this whole tale was true. With those poor academy students being Naruto, Hinata and Kiba. The three preteens didn't like to talk about it.
"Hm…so does this mean I win the bet?" Kakashi asked far too pleasantly.
"No you, shit. You've still got about an hour." Anko leaned in threateningly. "I have eyes and ears everywhere Kakashi. If you so much as take a peek at that book I will know."
"Good. I'll see you later Hatake." Anko left the dango restaurant. Once she was far enough from the restaurant she walked into an alley and dropped the henge.
Naruto ran back to Kakashi's house. They didn't have any time to spare. He had the blood and now they could get the rest of the books.
Now, all of you must be asking yourself how in the world did he get the blood? Well, what you don't know is that Kakashi had received a wound from his mission. Nothing major, but went Naruto reached into to grab the Icha Icha he had touched it and accidently aggravated the wound. Not long after when he gave Kakashi the fake book he subtly wiped some of the blood onto his fingers and pressed them into a napkin. Now, he just had to get back the house before it dried because he wasn't so sure if it would still work while dry.
Naruto ran like a bat out of hell. Inwardly, he gave thanks to Anko and all of her speed training. He let out a whistle when he was close and heard Kiba's returning whistle.
He ran up to the window where Hinata was waiting for him. He shoved the napkin in her hand.
"Hurry before it dries!"
Hinata ran into the room with the sealed book case and held her breath as she wiped the bloody, but mostly dry napkin on the seal. For a moment nothing happened and the seal glowed a bright blue before fading away. She let out a small whoop of excitement. Naruto entered the house through the bathroom window and he and Hinata began sealing up all of the books.
Kiba met the two at the window with a wide grin on his face.
"Come on you guys we only have forty minutes and the Hokage's tower is 20 minutes away!"
The three pregenin began running to the tower feeling the pressure of the deadline. Twenty minutes later and they were there it took them another minute before they made it to the office. The secretary was waiting for them and she let them right in.
"So Anko what exactly is this about?" Sarutobi asked.
Anko just grinned at him.
"You'll see, but trust me Hokage-sama you will definitely be impressed." Beside him Iruka rolled his eyes.
He stiffened when he saw Naruto and his friends come through the door. They went straight to Anko.
"Mission complete Anko-sensei!" Naruto grinned.
"What mission?" Sarutobi asked curiously.
"Give him your mission report brats." Anko smirked.
Naruto took lead.
"Our mission was to retrieve the Icha Icha book Hatake Kakashi kept on him. We were successful." Naruto pulled a familiar orange book out of his pocket the Hokage's pipe fell out of his mouth.
"We spent the last week gathering information about Hatake Kakashi. We learned where he lived and how to infiltrate his house. Today, I henged as Anko-sensei and tricked him into trading books with me. He just has a regular orange book now."
"And you don't think hell notice the difference? Kakashi-san would be able to tell the difference in a heartbeat." Iruka said.
"He would if I hadn't made him a bet. He can't look at that book two hours. More than enough time for us to get here. We also completed the second objective of the mission."
Here even Anko stood up a bit straighter.
"Second objective?" Sarutobi asked replacing his pipe.
This time Kiba spoke up.
"We infiltrated his house and retrieved all of his Icha Icha books. Here's the scroll." Kiba tossed it to him. Sarutobi unsealed it and instantly the whole table was covered in a pile of smutty books so high that they could barely see his hat.
Tears of joy trailed down Sarutobi's face before he subtly wiped them and motioned for Iruka to move the books so he could see the three soon to be genin.
"Anko you gave them this mission?" the Hokage asked.
Anko grinned proudly, and somewhat sadistically.
"These are my brats. When it's time for teams to be chosen I want all three of them as an infiltration and reconnaissance team."
"So instead of asking me you gave them a suicide mission?" he asked puffing his pipe in amusement.
"Would you have given them to me? Sorry Hokage, but I'm damn sure you woulda split up these brats into other teams. Kiba and Hinata probably woulda stayed together, but Naruto would've been left behind. Hell, even if I could have got one or two of the lot it still wouldn't have been enough. They are a team. They are my team."
"Very well. The three will stay together with you as their sensei when they graduate."
The three pregenin cheered.
Kakashi burst through the door and stopped at the sight of his Icha Icha books on the Hokage's desk.
There was one book that drew his attention the Icha Icha 2. The book that was supposed to be inside of his pocket. He reached in and grabbed it and looked at it.
"This isn't my Icha Icha!"
"Nope." Naruto said grinning. "You've also just lost the bet." Naruto looked at the clock in the room.
"And just think you only had three minutes left..."
Kakashi turned to Naruto speechless.
Anko cackled and then Naruto henged into Anko and cackled in her voice.
Kakashi gaped and lunged at the blond.
"I'll kill you!"
A few hours later and Team Badass was eating ramen.
"So Naruto I've been wondering about something?"
"Yeah, Kiba?" Naruto turned to his friend while slurping up some noodles.
"How did you get the blood from Kakashi? You left that part out of the plan."
"Oh." Naruto turned back to his noodles and took another bite. "Well, he got injured on his mission and I just got some blood from that."
"But how did you know?" Kiba stressed.
"Well, I didn't. The plan was to either fake being pissed off and cut him or something or bite his lip or something."
Hinata froze in her seat.
"B-bite his lip?" she stuttered.
"Sure. I was going to make out with him and bite his lip or something."
There. There it was…the proof that Naruto was not as innocent as he seemed. Hinata began hyperventilating.
"Good thing I didn't have to though I've never made out with anybody before. Besides, it wouldn't be fair to you. We still haven't done that yet."
Hinata slumped forward barely missing her bowl of ramen. Kiba gaped at Naruto.
"You know what making out is?!"
Naruto rolled his eyes at his friend.
"Of course I'm not 5."
"B-but I thought."
"I…never mind…I'm just going to go home now." Kiba blinked and stumbled out of Ichiraku's and headed home still in shock.
Naruto stared after his friend before grabbing his bowl of ramen.
"I wonder what's up with them."