Twilight is owned by S.M.

The plot is mine

Sky Starson and the song Perfectly Worthless is owned by SelinaShadow

LowLife is owned by Theory of a Deadman

The Life of a Swan

Have you heard the saying when life gives you lemons you make lemonade I used to think my life was like that,always ready to make the best out of what I get but when life gives you crap then what do you make out of it?

It started after my 18th birthday party one that I did not want or ask for but my boyfriend and his family thought it would be good for me to have Human Experiences Right I know what you are thinking What do you mean by Human Experiences well that is the rub I found out after I moved to forks that the boy I fell in love with is a vampire along with his family I thought we were in love I thought we would be together forever because of a Minor paper cut everything started to fall apart a few days after we go for a walk he tells me "We're leaving" I tried to explain that in the spring we were graduating but he argued "no Carlisle can't stay here much longer he looks 30 but he is supposed to be 33" when you say we're leaving "My family and I" But "no I can keep pretending to be something I'm notI am not human" I ask him about Alice "we thought it would be best for a clean break. Don't worry You will never see me again it will be like I never existed "You don't want me? "No Bella I don't. Don't worry your memories will fade" but what about your memories "Our kind are very easily distracted."

I never really told Charlie what happened why I left forks Charlie was so happy when I came back to life after the 4 month nightmare Things started getting better after I started hanging out with Jake and the gang at LaPush for three months my life was bearable until Jake got sick Billy said it was Mono when he got better I went to see him because he wouldn't answer my calls that day Jake did something that crushed me he said the worst things almost the exact words as Edward said "We can't be friends bells I'm not good for you" but what I heard was Your not enough for me. You don't want me I asked "No I don't."

So I did the only thing I could do I left that afternoon as I left forks that day wallowing in my despair I heard a song came on the radio in the car next to me it was "Perfectly Worthless" by Sky Starson

"You've been stopping by, but nobody's home.

I've let this scene unfold. And I,

I don't know why. I thought you were special

'Cause now I just feel so blind

Is this what we were? No!"

"I chose us and you chose her, well I hope it was worth it.

You thought you could make me wish you back.

But you don't deserve it

Whoa, Whoa

And now it's my heart that you can't have!

You're perfectly worthless!"

"When you looked at me,

Did you see what I saw when I fell for you?

Now that you're gone, I'm moving on!

But I can't stay the same for you

Can't change what you've hurt."

"You don't have the nerve, No!

Well I hope it was worth it.

You thought you could make me wish you back

But you don't deserve it.

And now it's 'me' that you can't have

He's perfectly worthless."

"Maybe if I could, just leave the past behind

Erase the reaches of my mind and just rewind.

But I don't work that way, Today is not your day

Things will never be the same 'cause I don't need you!"

"Well I hope it was worth it,

You thought you could make me wish you back.

But you don't deserve it

Whoa, Whoa!

'Cause I was the best you never had

And now it's my heart that you can't have

You're Perfectly Worthless…"

Ok this song sums me up pretty good Because it is me that is Perfectly worthless after all.

Then I heard my Cell Phone knowing who it was by the ring-tone

Cause I'm a low life and I'm loving it. I got the whole d*** world in the palm of my hand. I'm a low life, so f***ing deal with it. No, you can't change something that you don't understand. I'm living it up, living it up being a lowlife. I'm living it up, living it up being a lowlife. I'm living it up, living it up being a lowlife. I'm living it up, living it up. Jacob I said to myself Answering my Phone what do you want Jake Bella where are you? Charlie called here looking for you Why do you care you don't want me Remember and don't worry about charlie I left him a note. Ah Bells you know... I need to tell... what Jake just tell me I can't Just come back we can figure it out I miss you... No Jake I am done being led around like a dog on a leash Bella …...Good bye Jake don't call me again.

I tried dating during my senior year in phoenix but nothing ever worked it just seems like I am missing a part of myself. After Edward cut out my soul there was Jake that bandaged it then after he ripped the bandage off I said never again so I did something I never thought I would do I made a choice that Charlie or Renee would never approve of, I joined the Marines only because it is something the Edward would never think I would do. I kept in contact with Charlie and Renee by E-mail so they wouldn't know where to find me putting off visits to Forks and Jacksonville I'm going to have to tell Charlie the truth I have changed too much to get away with the cover story for too long.

All he would need to see is the scars to know that I am more than a Librarian. So when I read about the Wedding I thought now's as good of time as any and arranged for a short leave to go to a wedding I never thought I would see.

My father and Sue Clearwater it turns out that Harry died shortly after I left and Charlie was there to help her and she help him after I left. I told him by E-mail that I might be able to get away to come see the wedding but I didn't know when I would be in. I flew in to Sea-Tac and rented a car A nice red Chevy HHR ( I refused the Volvo). So after six years I am driving down the road that I never thought I would see again because of the memories the place I willingly exiled myself from A place that I came to love as much as Phoenix.

A/N Ok that is the first chapter as you can see Bella has had enough of being led around. I wanted Bella to show her spirit when she left Forks In didn't want to have to deal with the drama of Charlie so she left that afternoon (It also keep an uninvited guest from coming to her window in the middle of the night) so let me know what you think I am still working on getting a happy ending but I am not sure of where the storyline will go I do want her to find Edward and have a happy ever after but I don't know how long that will take. Let me know what you think and Give me some Ideas for the future.