Author's note: This is it. Finished. All done. Completed. Thank you so much for all you support and enthusiasm while I wrote this. It's been a lot of fun. It pretty much took over my life and over shadowed all my other WIPs, which I will now be picking up and dusting off. Poor neglected babies.
There may or may not be a sequel to this. It will depend on a variety of factors.
Warning: Smut. But probably not what you're hoping for?
His whole body won't stop tingling, pulses travelling through his body and he lies there, knowing he is grinning like an idiot and staring at the phone in his hand. It won't ever get old, knowing someone loves you. Enough to declare it to the whole world like that. Although a small part of him is a bit piqued that Blaine knew David loved him before he did, a larger part of him says he already knew David loved him and to stop being melodramatic.
He taps on the review button, refusing to look over at David, who probably just thinks he's texting someone. He wonders when David hoped he'd read this particular story, it's left him feeling all warm and fuzzy as well as a little aroused. He wants to re-read it, because he considers this his, David has written it for him, to again tell him something important. He wants to re-read it, but after he's typed a review.
You capture the fear and uncertainty of John's feelings wonderfully, as always. Sherlock's confusion as he deals with emotions for the second time and his realization that all his feelings are for just the one person. John. It's a beautiful love story, with just the right amount of angst in it. I liked the -experimentation- excuse very much as well. It sounds like something Sherlock would say and do. And now I am going to re-read this wonderful piece of writing, because it's mine and I adore it to pieces. Much like the author.
He's not going to tell David he loves him in a review. He'd prefer to say the words out loud the first time. Looking across the room David is still staring at his screen intently, fingers tapping away and only occasionally reaching up to push his glasses up his nose when they slip. He turns his e-mail alerts on, because there's something that tells him David will be replying electronically. He's been a bit more reserved and subdued, and he's caught him biting his lip on more than one occasion, and he's sure it's because Dave is holding back. He hears a few clicks of the mouse followed by more typing, a soft huff of what he thinks is amusement and when he chances a quick glance he's pretty sure he sees David smiling before he ducks his head a bit lower behind his screen.
Can we chat? In the chat room?
He bites his lip and refuses to look up, swallowing convulsively to try and work some moisture into his mouth. They've only ever used the chat room for cybersex before, and he's pretty sure doing that with David in the room… oh god. They'd be jerking off together but separately. He looks up then and meets David's eyes, but he doesn't actually look like he's even slightly interested in getting off. Maybe he's read the situation totally wrong? Kurt nods though, keeping the silence between them and scoots down to the end of the bed to retrieve his laptop. He shuffles back and wonders if he needs to get himself comfortable, in a position where he can jerk off, but a part of him would actually like for them to do this together, or at least side-by-side. Oh screw it, he doesn't know.
He goes to the same room they always use, logs in and isn't surprised that David is already in there. Or HookedonHope rather, and he can't help but smile. It was one HH that no one guessed, and he hadn't even remembered until the next night. Ham hock. He would never call David that now, he much rather prefers HookedonHope, or even Hung like a Horse. He lets out a little laugh, looking up to meet David's eyes again.
HookedonHope has entered the chat room
FruitLover has entered the chat room
I miss this. Miss talking about nothing and everything and feeling like I can say anything without worrying how you'll react.
He frowns, he wants David to feel like he can say anything to his face and not worry about how he'll react. He isn't going to storm off in a hissy fit if David says something he doesn't like…
I've kind of been saving up all these things I want to tell you. You looked amazing when you graduated. I mean, you look amazing all the time, but you just looked so happy. When you're that happy all the people around you can't help but feel buoyed up by it. Like your happiness is contagious. Seeing you happy makes so many other people happy, and if I can do anything to make you happy then I will, because it will never grow old.
Every time you smile at me I feel lucky to simply be allowed to be near you. That after everything we've been through, you've been able to forgive me and separate my past actions from the person I am now, and the person I want to be. Because of you. Your strength gives me strength, and I can only hope that some point in the future, you can take from me any strength that you might need. Or anything else you might need.
I don't think you realize just how amazing you are, how gorgeous and talented. I could watch you for hours. Days. And I'd never get bored.
He stares as the words just appear on his screen in chunks, and he can hear David typing away and know there's more to come. He realizes that David had really meant it when he said he communicates better with the written word. He feels embarrassed by all the compliments, even though he knows they're probably mostly true.
There's nothing about you yet which I don't like. I am sure there will be something, and maybe over time some things will change, but right now, you are perfection. The way your eyes narrow and you purse your lips just before you're about to bitch me out for something, yeah. That turns me on. So every time you think I am acting suitably chastened, not so much. Just fighting the urge to reach for you and kiss you.
I want to touch you all the time, hold your hand, kiss you on a whim, rest my hand on your hipbone or around your waist. I want to do everything with you, learn the flavor of your skin on all the different parts of your body. Get you to tell me what feels good until you feel so good I can barely understand what you're trying to say.
Oh fuck. He's not sure if he's meant to be getting turned on, but he is, and it's the least appropriate time ever. David is pouring his heart out, has clearly been agonizing over these thoughts and he's lying here wondering what David's skin tastes like all over.
We haven't talked though, we just seem to be muddling along and I suddenly feel like I'm blind, or that I don't know the rules to this complex game, and it's only a matter of time before I screw up and lose big time.
Come here. Please.
It's the first thing he's typed and there's silence from David and he looks up from his screen to see David looking at him nervously. He folds his laptop closed and reaches down to slide it under the bed, before moving back and leaving plenty of room on the bed. Maybe it's not the best place to talk, but needs must. David stands slowly, takes off his glasses and leaves them by his computer before stepping toward him and then sitting on the edge of his bed, looking anxious.
"Neither of us is perfect David. Please don't think that I am. We will make mistakes. But we did make rules, well, one rule, and that was to tell each other. Say something. If you can't tell me, text me… or e-mail me. Just… tell me. Don't stop communicating with me."
"Okay…" his voice is quiet, but he's nodding and he feels David physically relax, his body sinking a bit further onto the bed.
"And as for the other things, you can say all of that to me too… Sure, I might get a little embarrassed, it doesn't mean I don't like hearing it." He picks at a spot of lint on the bed coverings, knowing his cheeks are warm, but he's being honest.
"Plus, the more you tell me what you want to do with me, the less embarrassed I'll be." Hopefully he'll eventually be able to return the favor, if David likes the idea of him whispering what he wants to do with him in his ear.
"I like it when you're a little embarrassed. Flustered."
David's voice is low and another tingle travels through his body. He looks up to find David watching him, and he licks his lips nervously, although he feels less nervous when he notes David's eye following the movement. He licks them again, this time smiling mischievously. Then David's surging toward him, a hand going to his and tugging him forward.
"Oh fuck! Sorry!" He exclaims, pulling back, eyes widening as he takes in the tiny smear of blood on Kurt's lip where it's been caught between their teeth.
"It's fine David, really."
"Kurt, you're bleeding…"
"It's just my lip. You'll just have to kiss me elsewhere for a while…"
He takes in Kurt's surprised expression, that he can't quite believe he just said that, and Dave rests his head on Kurt's shoulder, laughing briefly before turning to place a tiny kiss on the column of Kurt's neck above his collar before placing another one in the start of a path to his ear. Kurt's neck and earlobes seem to be hyper sensitive and he's learnt quite a bit in the last few weeks. He hears a sharp indrawn breath and nips at the earlobe before flicking it with his tongue.
Then Kurt's fingers and scrabbling at his neck, tugging at the scarf he has so artfully tied in place before it's loose and Kurt is tossing it over the side of the bed. Oh fuck. He's not stopped kissing him, but it's hard to have his full attention on kissing Kurt when he's pretty sure Kurt is getting undressed. And not to get changed into pajamas.
"God, why do I wear so many layers?"
His pulse is racing. Despite the fondling and groping they've done, everything has been above clothes so far, well, sneaky hands under shirts so he can stroke hipbones, but he feels like he's seeing Kurt's collar bone for the first time. Kurt's muttering is making him smile though, saying he sees the point of snaps and Velcro for once, and then the shirt is being tugged out from where it was tucked into his pants and he galvanizes into action. Why look when he can taste? Feel?
He trails down to the collar bone, and he has no idea what Kurt does to his skin, but he smells amazing. So maybe that cologne thing has some merit if he could smell as half as good as this, sort of musky sweet, although he'd like to know what Kurt smells like fresh out of the shower. He nips along the ridge of clavicle bone and Kurt's body sways toward him, then another piece of clothing is being chucked over the side of his bed, which leaves Kurt just in his jeans and undershirt. Then Kurt is tugging at his own t-shirt and he freezes for a second, although he knows he really has nothing to worry about, the number of times he's caught Kurt subconsciously stroking his forearms and biting his lip while staring at his chest speculatively
Leaning back he strips it off like a band aid, not giving Kurt much time to look before he's kissing his neck again. They're sitting awkwardly, his feet still on the floor, body twisted, while Kurt is sitting cross-legged, leaning toward him. He feels the scratch of finger nails and he pulls back in shock, stares down at the pale splayed fingers in his chest hair and then at Kurt, who removes his hand only to pull his shirt over his head just as fast. Kurt doesn't look up, so he lets his eyes take note of the creamy colored skin, the pale pink nipples and the very fine scattering of hair just in the center of his chest. There're a few freckles as well, and he reaches out hesitantly to draw a line between them only to have Kurt squirm and lean away.
"David! It tickles!"
Grinning he turns to kneel on the bed, Kurt scrambling up onto his knees as well, looking half-ready to flee if Dave intends to tickle him. He doesn't, and they meet somewhere in the middle. It's a bit wobbly, but Kurt's moaning into his mouth, bruised lip completely forgotten and he runs his hands down Kurt's bare back for the first time. Smooth smooth smooth. He can feel the firmness of muscle under warm skin, the dip along the length of his back where the spine is, and he can feel Kurt's chest press against his own with each breath.
"Still ticklish?" He asks, and he means it teasingly, but his voice sounds lower and rougher than normal and he swallows. Coughs, trying to clear his throat. Kurt is pushing against his chest so firmly he has to push back just to remain upright. He can feel Kurt's hands on his back, then fingers digging firmly into his ass cheeks and holding him in place as Kurt pushes against him again.
Oh fuck. One of Kurt's hands is palming his cock, barely squeezed between their bodies, and it feels amazing, but also every sense seems to be in overdrive. Kurt's skin feels hot against his, he can still smell whatever scent Kurt's got on, but arousal and sweat mix with it now. He can taste, very faintly, a saltiness to Kurt's skin as he runs his tongue over his skin and he can hear Kurt gasp his name again, breathing shallow. His own breath sounds shuddery to his ears, like he can't breathe in enough to fill his lungs.
"Off. Off off off," Kurt demands, and holy shit, his fingers are plucking at the waist band of his jeans. He wants this, so badly, and he pulls back slightly, unbalancing Kurt in the process, just so he can undo the button of his jeans. He might have splurged on some new underwear and right now he's so grateful he did as he watches Kurt stand up, balancing precariously and tugging at his own jeans, one hand braced on Dave's shoulder as he tries to tug them off.
Without thinking he reaches to cover Kurt's hands with his own, and his heart is beating so hard he can feel it in his throat, but he presses his mouth to the fly of Kurt's pants and breathes out. He can feel Kurt's erection, and he doesn't understand why Kurt still insists on wearing such tight pants, because that can't be comfortable. He runs a finger down the zipper and looks up to see if Kurt's okay with what he's doing. He doesn't say anything, just moves his hands to be on top of his and then tugs at his pants again, message clear before he's easing the zipper down right in front of Dave's eyes.
He peels the pants down, slowly just getting them to Kurt's thighs and he's suddenly face-to-face with hipbones. He leaves one hand working on the jeans, it's easier now, but one hand goes to Kurt's hip, steadying him and he places soft light kisses. He hears Kurt let out a quiet moan, and good, he'd like one of his most sensitive spots to be one he's so equally obsessed with. Not that he has any plans to ignore the rest of Kurt's body, but he's pretty sure he's always going to return here.
Kurt is wiggling, trying to get his jeans off and he leans back, kneeling and watches as Kurt kicks them off. His underwear is half-way down already and he can see curly dark pubic hair sticking out the top. He leans forward and nuzzles his nose against it, and it feels silky. He grins, because he can almost imagine Kurt giving it a conditioning treatment, because his own pubic hair feels nothing like this soft.
"I'm feeling decidedly underdressed here David…"
He looks up again and grins, shrugs.
"Sorry, can you blame me if I was a little distracted?"
He shimmies backwards and off the bed, his undone jeans fall to the floor easily once he pushes them over his erection, the head of which is poking out the top of his boxer-briefs. He doesn't know whether he should take them off or not as well. Kurt is pulling back the sheets and comforter, and he wants to speak, but all words are caught in his throat, along with each beat of his heart. He remembers something he wrote to FruitLover, about the academic knowledge of how hot the sun is, but not having felt that heat first hand. Well, he's been feeling that heat for weeks now, and he's so hot he might just combust.
He eyes the middle draw of his bedside table where he keeps the best of his supplies. He has other stuff, but only the stuff he likes the most gets located to his bedside table. Should he get stuff out? What? Despite thinking he wanted this, now that he's confronted with the reality his mind is screaming in several different directions. His body wants just the one thing, so at least there's a part of him that's decisive.
"What are we going to do?" His voice sounds scratchy and quiet. Kurt stills instantly, walks across the bed on his knees and takes his hands in his, pulling him close and wrapping his arms around his waist.
"Whatever we want. What we both want. Whatever feels right. Okay?"
He nods then, not sure if he can manage speech again. He leans down and kisses him, slowly. Thoroughly. It's familiar now, kissing Kurt, but no less exciting for him. He knows how sharp one particular tooth is against his tongue, the conflicting feeling of smooth inner cheek and rough tongue. The change in Kurt's body as it starts off slightly reserved and pulled back only to relax against him. There's none of that reservation now though, although neither is there relaxing. Instead Kurt is pushing against him like he wants to somehow climb inside his skin, moving to the edge of the bed and to standing all without breaking the kiss, bodies and erections pressed against each other. He pulls back slightly and grins at Kurt.
"Hey. Mmm. You're a fantastic kisser you know. Just needed to tell you that…" Kurt tells him, and he's gratifyingly breathy, cheeks pink with heat and his chest has kind of gone a bit blotchy. He realizes it's probably from Kurt rubbing against his chest hair and he runs the pads of fingers over the redness, surprised when Kurt arches and hums. Oh. Well then. He smiles, amused, because he's pretty sure Blaine has little to know body hair to speak of, so seeing Kurt discover that he really likes it quite a lot is more than just a little stroke to his ego.
"Just, uh, let me get a couple of things…"
He tries not to be self-conscious as he steps away, and he hears Kurt moving on the bed, sees the movement of sheet and naked skin out of corner of his eye as he pulls open the draw, taking out lube and tissues, staring at the condoms before closing the draw, placing the other items on top and hopefully within easy reach. He turns to find Kurt watching him, sheet up to his waist, and he fights down the urge to laugh hysterically, because three months ago he couldn't ever see this happening, and yet here he is. He pulls the sheet up so he can slide in himself and his eyes are immediately drawn to the fact that Kurt's naked. Underwear gone.
"Fuck! You're naked!"
"I… well. Is that a problem?"
"I just… wasn't expecting it."
"You could join me you know," Kurt states, then bites his bottom lip and flushes further. He doesn't need any more encouragement and he hops into his bed, sliding his body along the length of Kurt's naked one.
"You could help me you know…" he says, voice quiet and he feels kind of cheesy, which is confirmed when Kurt lets out a light giggle. It doesn't stop Kurt's hand going to the waistband of his boxer briefs and slipping a finger beneath the elastic band though. He stops breathing but lifts up slightly as Kurt focuses on the task of removing his underwear blindly, and he's glad for the sheet, for at least an illusion of modesty. For now.
The question reminds him to breathe and he inhales deeply and nods furiously, hand reaching up to cup Kurt's face and pull him down into a kiss. Kurt's more fluid in his movements then him, which shouldn't come as a surprise, but when he feels the slide of naked thigh between his own legs he almost jackknifes up and forces himself to freeze mid-move. Kurt doesn't seem to notice anything wrong, and then he feels another cock brush against his for the first time and his entire body shudders.
Then there is slow undulating pressure and Kurt's eyes are closed, and he wants to touch, but he also wants to look, so he raises his head slightly so he can see down the length of their bodies, between them. It's shadowy, but he can see the distinct outline of two cocks moving together. If he had white sheets on the bed like he usually does it wouldn't be so dark, but Kurt won't stay over on white sheets. Screw the cotton count, that doesn't matter, just anything but all white.
"Of course we are."
He laughs and reaches up to capture the back of Kurt's head, wanting to kiss him again. Kurt relaxes against him, and they're both moving their hips to keep up the friction, but it's not as tightly constrained, not enough and now he really wants to touch. He trusts Kurt to say something, and he moves, rolling them onto their sides and then he can do it, and he kicks the sheet down and away so he can see exactly what he's doing.
Kurt's cock isn't as long or as thick as his own, but he knew that already from feeling Kurt through his pants. Kurt's cock is pink, with a dark pink head, almost purple, and there's the soft dark pubic hair and he reaches out a hand to encircle his cock. He wants to try sucking him, and his mouth waters at the thought, but maybe he should try one thing at a time, despite his desire to try everything right now like he will never get the chance again. He grips, hopefully firm enough to feel good, and starts jerking Kurt off.
"Oh god." Kurt sounds half-choked and he feels a swell of confidence. He's not hurting him. "Both. Grip both of us. Please." He doesn't get what Kurt means for a split-second and then swallows, widens his grip and shuffles slightly, gripping both of their cocks in his fist.
He moves his wrist slightly, making it a bit more comfortable. It's a tight squeeze if he wants to touch the tip of his finger to his thumb, but it's already a tight heat around his cock, the slick feel of Kurt's cock against it, and he doesn't think it needs to be any tighter. Not with the way Kurt is moving against him, lips on his shoulder half-sucking, half-biting and he starts to jerk them off.
The combined heat of their cocks pressed so closely together, surrounded by his hand, which feels too hot, and there's none of the smooth glide he usually has when he does this alone. He wonders if stopping and asking Kurt to reach for the lube would be a good idea but decides to forgo. He's not going to last long, and next time he can use lube. They're also both leaking a bit, which he hopes means Kurt is close, because he wants to see Kurt come, see his cock spurt over their stomachs and his hand.
Kurt's fingers are curled in his hair, tugging, and he's pretty sure Kurt is leaving a mark on his shoulder. He doesn't care about that, he doesn't mark easily, and there's some part of him that kind of likes the idea. His hand feels almost too tight around them, moving faster, because he needs it, and Kurt seems equally eager, but he needs to ask.
"God yes, don't stop… David. Please."
Okay then. He lets his hand move faster, and yeah, one day he's going to do this and lick Kurt's hipbones while he's at it. He might have a problem there. For now he stops staring at their cocks for a brief second and licks up Kurt's neck, nips his earlobe and then places some more kisses back down the wet trail, because the neck is all he's had to focus on and that's been a surefire way of driving Kurt crazy. This time is no different and Kurt bucks toward him, moaning, fist curling into his hair, pulling a bit too tight.
He comes first, the sudden sensation of Kurt digging his nails into his ass make him shoot, and he groans his release, eyes squeezed tight and trying to ignore the oversensitive feeling of his cock as he continues to jerk Kurt off. Kurt is moving against him, small frantic movements and he increases the speed of his hand even more, only just remembering in time that he wants to see Kurt come and opening his eyes. He can't really see between them anymore, Kurt is pushed against him so tightly, but he feels the moment, the stillness followed by a tiny shudder and then the long drawn out moan. He loosens his hand slightly, still moving, but gentler, and he feels Kurt shudder against him again.
"Mmm, wow…" Kurt mumbles, before leaning away slightly to look between their bodies, come spread over their stomachs and dripping over his hand. He releases their cocks slowly, and brings his hand up to his mouth, his own curiosity driving him. He wants to know and he takes a tentative taste, Kurt watching him with wide eyes.
"I… how does it taste?"
"Uh, kind of gross?" He replies, and he doesn't have time to think of lying.
Fuck. He still needs to work on his mind-mouth filter.
"I mean, I'm sure it's an acquired taste. One I don't mind tasting over and over again."
"Oh." Kurt blushes and looks either pleased, or amused, he's not sure, but he doesn't look grossed out which is reassuring. He'd meant it when he said he wanted to try everything, and for him, he knows he needs to try things more than once. The first time is always weird or awkward, or too much of a surprise. Knowing partially what to expect takes away some of that level of surprise and he can focus more on whether he actually likes it or not, rather than just thinking gross. Or, what he suspects will happen, the pleasure will simply override the grossness by such a large degree that it becomes negligible.
He's wide awake and he watches in bemusement as Kurt plays with his chest hair; pulling the hair straight before letting it go and watching it curl and kink back to normal. He's obviously fascinated, but Dave can tell by the slow blinking that he's struggling to stay awake. Kurt is definitely a napper after sex, and apparently he likes running his fingers through chest hair as a form of additional relaxation. There is no part of him that isn't a hundred percent okay with this.
"I love you too you know…"
He can't help the slow grin that breaks out, because no, he didn't know, and hearing Kurt say that, naked and sleepy-eyed in his bed, is pretty much all he could ask for. He leans over to brush a gentle kiss on his forehead.
"I'm going to fall asleep."
"Shh. Sure thing…"
He waits for Kurt to fall asleep, his mouth slack and he's tempted just to take a photo so he has one but he doesn't. Instead he eases himself
He pulls on his boxer-briefs and with a quick glance up and down the hall dives into the bathroom to use it before heading back to his bedroom. He heads to his computer and moves the mouse to wake it up, making a couple of clicks before curling up back in bed, Kurt snuggling into him in his sleep and he smiles.
HookedonHope has left the chatroom