Touhou Doujin: Jean's Magical Education

Chapter 19: That's the Power of Love!

The Scarlet Devil Mansion grounds, Four post-meridian

The rain which had extinguished the forest fire from yesterday had continued overnight, and the clouds seemed to have spread to places beyond the forest. Yutaka was beginning to fear she had deducted too much carbon from the system and added too much hydrogen and oxygen... however, if flooding became a problem, she could easily rectify it.

She, along with Dawitsu, had just got to the mansion gates, and Meiling, noticing the short magician who had rendered her a favour, allowed them straight through without any questions.

"Strange weather we're having, isn't it?" Meiling commented as if to get them to stay a little while with her.

Dawitsu smiled with nostalgia, "Ah, we British do nothing but talk about the weather... it rains a lot over there, the last time I was there, at least..."

Yutaka nodded in agreement, "Yes, that's certainly true. But I don't understand why British people complain about the weather, whether it is sunny, or rainy, there's always something to moan about. Japan has earthquakes and tsunamis to deal with! Britain has the safest weather in the world, as far as I know..."

Dawitsu sniggered, "Oh, is that why you decided to make this constant rain-storm? Replicate some of that... wonderful weather?"

Meiling cocked her head, "Wait, you caused this rain-storm?"

Yutaka nodded, "I... guess I caused an incident to avert another. The forest was on fire, or didn't you notice?"

"I... uh... well... I wasn't sleeping, or anything..." Meiling swiftly denied.

Dawitsu shrugged his shoulders, "Eh, it's alright, your secret's safe with us. Quite frankly, if I were doing what you do, I'd sleep on the job more often..."

Meiling smiled warmly, "...thanks for understanding."

Yutaka stared at the drenched Chinese Guard, and soon looked as if she was focusing. Meiling was about to ask what was wrong, but stopped in her tracks as she found herself wearing very different clothes. In a brief amount of time, her clothes had shifted from her typical green clothes to a dark blue cagoule, and a jumper underneath.

"What have you done?" Meiling asked in confusion.

"This will stop you from getting too wet..." Yutaka explained, "You'd probably die of hypothermia otherwise..."

Dawitsu mused, "Well, she is a Youkai, she's pretty hardy... but still, you did look pretty wet... wait, she can get her normal clothes back, can't she?"

Yutaka laughed slightly, "Oh, you think I used her normal clothes as matter for her rain-coat? No, she was just so covered in water that there was enough mass to make another layer of clothing..."

Meiling looked down, "I was wondering why my hair suddenly felt dryer... thank you."

Dawitsu and Yutaka bid farewell to the guard, and walked towards the mansion's front door. Pressing the door-bell, they waited an uncharacteristically long wait before someone rather unexpectedly opened the door.

Flandre was standing at the doorway, and her face broke into a gleeful grin upon seeing the Mimicker standing in the rain. She called out, "BOY SENSEI!"

Dawitsu quickly stopped the oblivious vampire from rushing into rain, and walked in before hugging the girl, "Hello, Flandre... so, what's new? Do you want me to teach you anything?"

Flandre began to recount her recent experiences in a way typical of her childish nature, "I drew a picture of you, Boy Sensei! And I made something Patchy calls 'Aspirin', and played Chess with Sakuya, and then I found out the special number that you need to multiply the line across a circle by to get the length of the line around a circle!"

Yutaka was quite impressed, "...she figured out Pi all by herself?"

"She's a lot smarter than she seems..." Dawitsu proudly said, "I'd love to say it was all down to me, but she's got natural talent..."

Flandre squeezed Dawitsu a little tighter, and continued her recollection, but in a slightly sombre tone, "And... Boy Sensei, this morning, I finished that book that you started to read to me... Remilia helped me to understand the ending... Sensei, is it true that... making someone die can be... kind? Like what George did?"

Dawitsu pondered on this question, knowing that the answer was actually still a massive debate, and that there was nothing clear-cut about it. Coming to a conclusion, he answered, "In a situation like George's, that was the best that could be done. Lennie was going to be killed in a mean way otherwise, what George did was just make him happy before he died..."

Yutaka was noticeably shocked with how much better her Boss was with Flandre compared to how he treated the children at school, and decided to leave the two alone, "Boss, I'm going to see Patchouli, if that's alright. I may be some time..."

Flandre let go of Dawitsu, and looked at Yutaka, "Oh! You're the one Patchy said she was married to! Yutaka! Hello, Yutaka! Have fun with Patchouli! When is the stork going to deliver you a baby?"

Dawitsu laughed nervously, "Er... perhaps it's not good to ask that sort of question..."

Yutaka looked downwards, and seemed a little insulted, but rose above it, knowing there was no way she could have been intending to insult her, "...I'm not so sure it will. Some marriages don't end up with babies at the end of it... anyway, goodbye, Boss."

"See you later, Yutaka..." Dawitsu winked at Yutaka knowingly, but Yutaka either failed or refused to acknowledge it.

Flandre looked up at Dawitsu, "She seems funny. Boy Sensei, why is she acting funny?"

Dawitsu tried to explain, but before he could, another young-sounding voice answered for him, "Because her Boss is an idiot..."

Dawitsu turned around to see Remilia standing there, "And hello to you too. So... I hear you helped Flandre with the book... I honestly didn't expect that much of you..."

Remilia grabbed Dawitsu by the collar at a strength hard enough to significantly choke the mimicker, but gentle enough to keep the collar intact, "Don't. Tell. ANYONE. About that..."

"...why? That was a kind gesture from sister to sister... why don't you want people to see that?" Dawitsu put his head back to allow himself to breath, "...even the Queen of the Night has to love someone, right?"

Flandre, despite not putting in any effort to separate the two, added, "You do love me, don't you, Remi?"

Remilia paused, then let the mimicker go, causing him to fall to the floor gasping, "...I do. Oh, by the way, Sakuya made a dish that apparently you introduced her to..."

Dawitsu continued to wheeze, "...really?"

" was one of the tastiest breakfasts I've ever had..." Remilia admitted, "...especially the side-meal she put with it... it was called 'Black Pudding'..."

Dawitsu sniggered, "Well, it only makes sense that a Vampire would enjoy black pudding..."

Remilia turned her back to the mimicker, "...Yes. Well, anyway, Flandre is free to leave the mansion whenever she wants, now, so, at the soonest opportunity, I expect you to show her where you live, she wouldn't shut up about you..."

" may not stop raining for a while..." Dawitsu said while getting up, "But I'll try to remember..."

Remilia instantly swivelled on her feet, and seemed to appear right in front of Dawitsu, "You will remember. Understand?"

Dawitsu rolled his eyes, "Oh, was that just in case I forgot how big and mean you are?"

"Shut up! Anyway, are you going to play with Flandre, or whatever it was you came here for?" Remilia turned around again, "Now, leave my sight at once..."

Dawitsu smirked, "You're like an armadillo..."


"Hard on the outside, soft on the inside." Dawitsu began to laugh to himself before noticing Remilia's expression of pure, undiluted hatred, and soon decided to run for his life.

Remilia dashed after the mimicker, but surprisingly, he was doing a good job staying ahead of her, and Flandre decided to run after the pair too, saying, "I want to play tag too!"

The Forest of Magic, Alice's House, during the former events

Rinnosuke seemed to be doing nothing but read books, and Alice saw the boredom that seemed to glaze itself over his eyes, "Um... Rinnosuke? Aren't you and that Sakuya woman boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"...yeah. What about it?"

"Well, I wouldn't mind if you went to see her. I know I'm not the best host for visitors... so feel free to go to the Scarlet Devil Mansion and see her. If you like, you can bring her here. I'm not particularly bothered..." Alice offered.

Rinnosuke seemed tempted by the offer, "That... would be nice. Are you sure you're okay with that?"

"Of course. Anyway, I'd like some time by myself, so take your time if you're intending to bring her over here..." Alice mused.

"What were you thinking of doing?" Rinnosuke asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"There's... a certain special task that's been asked of me. You know the visitors I received last night? Well, they gave me a special doll... a doll youkai. She's broken, and apparently she wants fixing. So I'm doing that. And it might take a little more concentration, that's all." Alice pointed out.

"Ah, I see. Well, I'll get off now, shall I? Sakuya might be getting worried about me..." Rinnosuke mused, "Well, I guess I'll be seeing you later..."

Alice called out as Rinnosuke got up, "Hold on... so, will you be taking Sakuya here or staying at their mansion?"

"Well, if you want time to yourself, I'll stay over there. That's okay, isn't it?" Rinnosuke asked.

" yeah, that's great, thanks for that." Alice said, seemingly saddened by something.

"Alright, see you, then..." Rinnosuke said, walking out of the room.

Alice waited for inevitable sounds of the door opening, and the door closing again, then walked towards her closet. Upon opening it, a voice screamed at her, "HOW DARE YOU KEEP ME IN A DARK CLOSET!"

Alice picked up the head of the Doll, and sighed, "Look, do you want to be put back together?"

Medicine stopped and thought. Perhaps, for her own good, it would be better to feign humility and accept the offer...

"...I'm sorry." Medicine lied, "Please help me..."

Alice easily picked up on the falseness of the words, but retrieved the rest of her body part regardless, and said, "Oh... it seems they dropped some stuffing on the way... don't worry, I have plenty..."

Medicine remained silent. Alice put Medicine's parts on her chair and left, returning with a bag of fluff. Alice moved the parts to the coffee table beside her chair, and sat down, needle in hand.

"Do you have any preferences what colour you want to be sewn together in?" Alice asked.

"Why do you care?" Medicine replied.

"Well, I'd rather you didn't complain about the colour after I've finished..." Alice explained, "So, what will it be?"

"Purple, please. That dark one, so it goes with my dress..." Medicine answered.

"...did you just say please?" Alice seemed puzzled, as that was notably not part of any act, "Well, seen as you're so polite, certainly..."

Medicine stayed quiet again, as Alice picked up her head, and the upper part of her body. She gently placed the plastic-based head onto the softer, but still plastic-based neck, and put the needle through.

"OW!" Medicine cried, "That hurts!"

Alice stayed calm, "...okay, where does it hurt?"

"WHERE YOU JUST STABBED ME!" Medicine stated the obvious.

"How else am I meant to put you back together?" Alice asked.

"Isn't there another way?" Medicine proposed.

"No. Is there anything I could do to reduce the pain?" Alice suddenly questioned in her thoughts why she would care for such a thing.

Medicine stuttered, "W-well, there is Opium..."


"Yes. There's plenty of Poppies around here, isn't there?" Medicine attempted to clarify.

"Well, of course, they're really beautiful..." Alice remarked.

"Well, pick about five, and get the seeds out of them." Medicine commanded, "Then crush them, and put them in water. Filter them, then boil the water off, and you'll get Opium."

Alice sighed, "Why should I go to this effort?"

"Hey, if you pick ten, there'll be enough left for you to take some too! It makes you feel fantastic!" Medicine offered, unsettled by her kindness.

Alice paused, then laughed, "...I'll pass. Okay, so, five Poppies, is that all?"

Medicine attempted to nod from her partially attached neck, and Alice put her down to do the task assigned. She picked the Poppies, emptied out the countless black seeds into a Pestle and Mortar, and ground them into a pulp. Putting the pulp into a cup, she added water and sieved it into a pan as instructed, and boiled until a clear liquid with a slight yellow tinge remained.

Pouring the liquid into another cup, Alice returned to her living room with the Opium, and said, "So, is this it?"

"That's the stuff..." Medicine crooned, "Now, just rub it around my neck while you sew it on..."

Alice felt like not doing as she commanded and just letting her suffer while knowing the pain relief was right in front of her, but figured she'd at least be a lot more mellow on Opium, and thus easier to deal with.

As Alice applied the pain-killer, Medicine began to giggle, "Ah... oh... that's the stuff..."

Alice sighed with relief, "Okay, so you won't complain now that you're all happy?"

"No, no, go on..." Medicine said in a ridiculously relaxed voice.

"Good..." Alice began to sew, and as each 'wound' formed on Medicine, the Opium entered, soon making her forget any pain existed.

Finishing the neck, Alice moved on to the arms, applied Opium to the shoulders, and repeated the process. Eventually, Medicine was complete, albeit completely off her face.

Alice released the Doll Youkai, and she stumbled off of her lap, falling to the floor, "Whoa, when was that cliff there before?"

Noticing the Doll lying face-down at her feet, Alice saw a massive tear in the back of her dress, and small amount of fluff leaking from her back, "Um... Medicine, your back's leaking stuffing... that's why you're so thin..."

Medicine slurred, "Uh... wha? Oh... yeah... um... time to die..."

Alice picked up the doll before she attempted to kill her, and poured the rest of the remaining Opium into the doll's rip, "How are you even affected by this stuff?"

However, Medicine didn't reply, possibly due to the Opium, and Alice simply fixed up the hole, and proceeded to take the ripped set of tiny clothes off the doll, causing her to mumble, "What... are... you doing... you... pervert..."

Alice left the naked doll on the coffee table, knowing in her current state she wouldn't be going anywhere fast, and got a small maid outfit from her closet, and returned, slipping it over the tiny Youkai's body.

"There you are... good as new." Alice said, smiling.

Medicine found it difficult to get up, or even move her arms, "Hey... I'm... not... done... I get... to kill you now... right?"

"Well, I was thinking of something else. How about you become my doll. You could be the leader of my set..." Alice offered.

Medicine thought as much as her Opium-ravaged mind allowed her to, and slurred, " I need... to get poison... and kill you..."

Alice giggled, "I'd love to see you try."

Alice attached a string to the back of Medicine, and then got out a Shanghai doll as well as a Hourai Doll from her seemingly infinite pockets, piloting them by string.

Alice put on the voices for the dolls, and made them walk up to Medicine.

"I say, young woman, are you alright?" 'Shanghai' remarked as it 'observed' the incapacitated Medicine.

'Hourai' began to offer a theory, "Perhaps she has drank too much sake, and needs a lift home?"

"Ah, well, it is fortunate she came across us two fine gentlewomen before any hooligans arrived..." 'Shanghai' replied.

The two dolls picked Medicine up by the shoulders, and brought her towards a tiny bed in the closet, "We will do whatever you ask of us..." 'Hourai' promised.

Medicine smiled, and wrapped herself in the bed's duvet, "Oh... no-one's ever... given me a bed before..."

"Is there anything you want?" 'Shanghai' asked.

Medicine paused, and said, "Can... uh... can you please kill..." Medicine was about to finish her sentence, but something stopped her, "...can you... on second thoughts... I just want to sleep. I'm going to sleep... for a while."

"Play with us, sometime, won't you?" 'Hourai' asked.

Medicine didn't reply to that, and stared at Alice, who was piloting the dolls in a somewhat affectionate manner. Medicine felt a twinge in her fluff-filled heart, and her eyes seemed to widen.

"Is... something wrong?" 'Shanghai' questioned.

Medicine realised what was happening, "N-no... no... I'm... I think I'm... I'm.." Medicine's eyes seemed to stop moving, and the life-like sparkle within them began to fade, "...I'm... happy..."

Medicine sighed, and as if something had left her, her body became as stiff and lifeless as Alice's other dolls.

Alice cocked her head, and withdrew her Shanghai and Hourai doll back into her pocket. Shaking the small bed slightly, Alice asked, "Medicine? Hello?"

There was not so much as a breath as a response. Then, as Alice thought about it, the whole situation made sense. Alice had just shown the Doll Youkai the kind of care and attention it would only have received as... what it was all along... a doll. Alice remembered what Kogasa had said about Umbrella Youkai... coming into existence via abandonment, and if they were used again for their purpose, they wouldn't become a Youkai... Alice never thought that it also applied to them once they had become a youkai...

For some strange reason, Alice didn't feel guilty of the small doll's murder. She picked the inanimate doll up, and looked at its facial expression. It was a warm smile, one which couldn't be truly imitated by even the best doll-maker.

"Oh... oh my." Alice mused, the only words she could muster despite her complex thought processes.

Alice decided to put the doll that was once Medicine back into its bed, and sat on the chair where she would normally work on making dolls, but was feeling... decidedly aversive of creating the effigies for a while...

Mayohiga, Tokage's House, around five post-meridian

Tokage seemed to have not slept at all for at least three days, but her body seemed to be coping with the stressful situation well, the only noticeable side-effect being the massive bags that seemed to be forming over her eyes.

Quickly writing, seemingly in a more excitable way than ever, Tokage grinned, grinned even more so, and eventually broke into maniacal laughter, "AH HA HA! AND THAT'S ALL SHE WROTE!"

Tokage threw her pencil to the floor, and giggled uncontrollably, "OH HO HO! A cliffhanger ending is what all the readers will want! I'm gonna be a super-star! No, a hyper-star! No, no, scratch that, a mega-super-duper-hyper-ultra-mega-star!"

Faster than a tengu on methamphetamine, the Lizard put her coat on, and ran out of the house, protecting her notepad from the rain by keeping it underneath the aforementioned coat.

Snorting as she ran towards the Youkai Mountain, she yelled, "YES! I FINISHED FIRST! I'M GONNA GET THE TENGU TO PUBLISH MY BOOK FIRST! YES! YES! YES!"

After about two minutes of running through drizzle, Tokage was able to see the house which was apparently the centre of Tengu Publication, and broke into a sprint, "HA! I win, Hebiko! I win!"

However, as she got closer, her face fell as she saw a figure in the distance standing in front of the house's door. It almost seemed like it was looking at her. Once she got there, she knew that it seemed that way because it was true...

Hebiko laughed in a condescending manner, " really need to stop shouting... I could hear you proclaiming your victory from miles off..."

"NO! How did... how did... how did you..." Tokage spluttered.

"Oh... didn't you know? My writing style is episodic, meaning I'll write shorter books, but release them more often. Yes, I lost some sleep, too..." Hebiko smirked, and looked at Tokage as if to irritate her, "...but I can hardly say I would need concealer to cover up my panda eyes..." Hebiko paused, and then added, "By the way, I was talking about you when I mentioned needing concealer. You need it."

Tokage slapped Hebiko in the face, "ARGH! Shut up! Your arrogance is your downfall, because now I'm gonna talk to these tengu first!"

Tokage knocked on the door rapidly, and within a second began complaining, "ARGH! What's taking them so long? What's going on? Come on, you stupid..."

The door opened, revealing Aya, and swiftly Tokage chuckled awkwardly and said, "Eh heh... I mean, come on, you benign and wonderful publishers of information..."

Aya sighed, "What is this? What are here for? Is there an incident you'd like to report to the Kakashimaru Spirit News?"

"No! I have... A WHOLE BOOK!" Tokage got out her notepad, and began waving it about, "Remember that article you wrote all that way back before you printed the retraction with that man and Yukari? Well... I've written a book about it!"

"...what? You know that story was a fake, right?" Aya mused, seemingly playing the straight man.

Hebiko cleared her throat, "Allow me to explain... this strange young woman, not to mention many others, have become so fixated with the idea of Yukari dating this Youkai Man that they have written romance novels based on the concept. I myself have joined this group, if anything, just to prove how pretentious this particular woman's writing style is..."

"SHUT UP!" Tokage screamed, "You'll publish my story, right? Just don't publish that woman's over there..."

Aya opened her mouth to answer, but instead of the sound of words being heard, the sound of crashing was heard as the house behind her was crushed by a giant robotic foot.

Aya stared back in horror at the large foot, and quickly ran out of what remained of her house while the two Lizards looked at the large robotic being that the foot belonged to... it seemed to be a giant metal man, except at the top was a glass bubble as opposed to a head. Within it was a short, blue-haired Kappa.

"Aya, you scum!" Nitori shouted through the robot's speakers, "Come back here!"

Aya proceeded to dash away from her home, and the robot soon took to running after the Tengu, raising its foot to reveal among the debris stuck to the bottom of it was another Tengu, who screamed, "HELP ME! ANYONE! PLEASE!"

The two lizard youkai looked at each other, and decided perhaps that particular publishing agency wasn't the best one to go to.

Hebiko shrugged her shoulders, "Um... perhaps we should go to Momiji's house?"


"Momiji Inubashiri. Apparently she helps the other tengu out... perhaps she'll have a press?" Hebiko suggested.

Tokage laughed, "HA! You idiot! Now you've revealed your back-up plan..."

Hebiko laughed contemptuously, "Do you honestly think I could ever prove you to be a bad writer if I didn't give you a chance to publish the thing? I'd have no case or point if that happened..."

Tokage didn't seem to understand, and simply swaggered off in the direction she was facing.

Hebiko remained deadpan, and said, "You do know you're walking in the wrong direction, right?"

Tokage stopped, and turned around to start following Hebiko, "Uh... of course I knew that!"

The Dawitsu Mansion, seven post-meridian

After messing around at the Scarlet Devil Mansion for a while, Dawitsu and Yutaka had decided to return home, and after Rinnosuke appeared on the scene, Dawitsu had ever more of a reason to leave.

Opening the door to his mansion, Dawitsu stood at the door, letting Yutaka in, before shutting it. Instantly, he noticed Ran was playing on a cartridge known as 'Banjo-Kazooie'.

Sitting on the sofa next to the Kitsune, Dawitsu tried to 'make friends' with Ran, and nervously said, "Hey, Ran... having fun?"

Ran's eyes were fixed in concentration, and she twiddled the left stick a few times before pressing the 'start' button, and smiled at Dawitsu, "Yes, I am. Banjo-Kazooie is a great game... but I'm a little disturbed by the 'Game Over' screen..."

Yutaka, who hadn't even sat down yet, called out, "Does anyone want some tea? Have you two had dinner?"

Dawitsu nodded, and said, "Certainly. Please can you make it Green Tea?"

Ran also affirmatively responded, "I'd like some Green Tea also..."

Yutaka left the room, and Dawitsu asked, "So... um... Ran... are you mad at me for what I asked last night?"

Ran was about to answer, but Chen walked into the foyer, "Oh, Lucky Star is boring! Why don't you let me watch of the other cartoons in there, Ran-sama?"

Dawitsu stood up and yelled, "BLASPHEMY!" at the Nekomata, shocking the cat.

"Dawi! You're back!" Chen grinned despite being called a blasphemer, and ran up to hug the Mimicker, "You'll let me watch the other cartoons, won't you? Ran-sama's not letting me!"

Dawitsu stopped, and thought of whether there was anything suitable for Chen, and soon decided Ran's decision was a fair one, "No, sorry... there are some things... er... only... um..."

Ran mused, "The Master is trying to say he's a very strange man, and he wouldn't want you to be caught up in his strangeness..."

Dawitsu sighed, and sat down, "Yeah, what she said... um... Ran, please can we go somewhere private?"

Ran cocked her head, "Why are you doing that, Master?"

"Um... no reason. Chen, can you tell Yutaka I'm just discussing some things with Ran..." Dawitsu commanded.

Chen nodded, "Okay, Dawi!"

Chen waited in the foyer for Yutaka as Dawitsu and Ran took the lift to a random floor... which one didn't matter, as they had all the privacy in the world within the lift.

After a few false starts, Dawitsu stammered out something resembling the beginning of a sentence, "Um... Ran... I was thinking about what you said... or rather, what you didn't say, and... well... you're right."

Ran couldn't see what the mimicker was thinking all too straight, "...what do you mean, Master?"

Dawitsu hung his head, "I'm not a good companion to you. I leave you all alone, doing the chores and stuck in the house... I'm a terrible Master... yet you always, you always treat me with respect, you're always so... hard-working, and well... I don't deserve you."

Ran gulped, "M-master, that's not what I was saying at all!"

Dawitsu interrupted the Kitsune, "'s okay, it's okay, you don't have to be kind... I've been stupid, doting over Yutaka and letting you go by unnoticed. I guess... I guess I still haven't learnt my lesson from when al my Staff resigned when I promoted Yutaka to Head Servant..."

"No, no, Master, you don't understand! I lo..."

The doors of the lift opened, and stopped Ran's speech, allowing Dawitsu to continue his pointless self-deprecation, "Please don't try and comfort me, I'm a moron... I just want you to know that no-one's forcing you to stay here. You can resign at any time. You can leave me if you want... so... I guess I'm saying... you're... free to leave me and find someone better..."

Ran's eyes began to fill up, and she looked out at the floor they had got to... Locria's Level. Without warning, she burst into tears and ran towards the Pink Shell in the centre of the room, and slammed the strange house's door as she entered it.

Dawitsu sighed to himself, "Oh... you moron, you've just made it worse, now it looks like I want her gone..."

He slowly walked towards the pink shell house, and knocked on the door, "I'm sorry... but just think about that offer. It's not that I don't want you here, if anything, I'd love for you to stay, but I just don't want you to be unhappy... sorry, Ran..."

Ran's sobbing continued, and Dawitsu decided to leave her in peace, and allow her time to think.

Once riding the lift back down into the foyer, the lift doors opened to reveal Yutaka holding two cups of tea. The magician smiled knowingly, "So... did Ran tell you anything... special?"

Dawitsu seemed crestfallen, and simply muttered, "I've gone and upset her, I'm such an idiot..."

Yutaka tilted her head, "What do you mean? What did you say?"

Dawitsu looked up at Yutaka, "Well, you know how I mentioned that I think Ran might be... you know, starting to resent how little time I spend with her? Well, I offered her the choice to leave me if she wants to, and then she burst into tears..."

Yutaka's face turned visibly irritated, and she proceeded to throw a cup of Green Tea in Dawitsu's face, causing him to scream in pain, "BOSS! Didn't you get the hints?"

Dawitsu gasped in agony, clutching his face, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

Yutaka stamped her foot, "Why is it you only get these things when it's blatantly obvious, eh? Not everyone is going to be as overt as Sakuya was with these things!"

"What do you mean?" Dawitsu said from behind his hands.

Yutaka grabbed Dawitsu's hands, and removed them from his face, "Ran doesn't resent you! She loves you! And now I feel terrible for telling her to calmly suggest to you how she felt!"

"Wha... what?" Dawitsu didn't quite process the information his ears had just received.

"Ran loves you, and you just told her that you don't mind if she's out of your life, you idiot! Now get back up there and apologise to her!" Yutaka yelled.

Dawitsu was finding it hard to believe how scary Yutaka was when she was angry. "But... what if I just make it worse?"

Yutaka proceeded to throw the other cup of Green Tea at Dawitsu, "GET UP THERE! I'll go with you if I have to!"

The diminutive Magician pressed the lift's call button, and the doors opened quickly, as if it knew how irate she was. She quickly walked into the lift, and dragged the paralysed-with-fear Dawitsu into the lift with her.

"Y-Yutaka..." Dawitsu stammered.

"What?" Yutaka snapped.

"Y-you know... that whole... marrying you thing... well... I think I'm over it now..." Dawitsu stuttered, "I never realised you were capable of that..."

Yutaka started to calm down, "Sorry for throwing tea at you..."

"Oh, don't worry, third-degree burns get better..." Dawitsu sarcastically replied.

Yutaka folded her arms, "Hey, don't start joking, you've yet to apologise to Ran!"

Once the lift doors opened, Yutaka pushed Dawitsu out of the lift, and Dawitsu limped towards the Pink Shell from which Ran's crying could still be heard.

"Um... Ran?" Dawitsu asked nervously.

Ran continued to cry. Yutaka approached Dawitsu, and whispered into his ear.

Nodding, Dawitsu said, "Ran... Yutaka told me everything. She told me the truth... so... um... yeah... can I come in?"

Ran's audible crying ceased, and after a sniff, her voice called back, "Yes..."

Dawitsu walked into the Pink Shell, however, Yutaka failed to follow in also, and simply listened from the outside. Seeing the Kitsune laid face-down on the Indigo bed to the left of the room, Dawitsu decided to sit beside her, and said, "Um... Ran... I'm sorry for offering you to be let go. I didn't think... I thought you would have been happier without me..."

Ran brought her head up out of the fluffy pillow she was crying into, and looked into Dawitsu's eyes, "Master... I... I thought... I thought you wanted me here..."

"I... I do. I just... I thought you didn't like me." Dawitsu shrugged his shoulders, "I... guess I'm too dumb for your subtle nudges... so, when you said you knew there was someone else for me..."

"...I was... I was... talking about myself, yes." Ran started to hiccough, "...all the time... all the time that you were... flirting with that human... when you started taking those strange drugs... and became even more obsessed with Yutaka... I... I guess I never had the confidence to ask you..."

Dawitsu opened his arms, "Come here, Ran..."

Ran took up the offer, and cried into Dawitsu's shoulder, "...I don't understand, Master..."

Dawitsu smiled wryly, "Ah, you poor young woman... it seems that there are people like us everywhere..."

"What do you mean?"

"Unlucky in love. In other words... for us, all love is unrequited..." Dawitsu shook his head, "And I'm sure you know that the answer to that problem isn't simply the two of us getting together..."

Ran simply cried even more, "Master... you're... Master... you don't want to..."

"Ran... I would be a lucky man..." Dawitsu sighed, "But you know me. You know how foolish I am. I couldn't possibly be right for you..."

"...but... I don't care..." Ran mused into Dawitsu's shoulder.

Dawitsu let Ran go, and kissed her on the forehead, "But I do... look, Ran, wouldn't it be far better if we were friends than lovers? What makes you want someone like me anyway?"

"You're... caring."

Dawitsu seemed utterly surprised, "...that's it? But so is Yutaka... and Chen... and I'm pretty sure if you just talk to people, other people will respond with just as much care as I have... you've got to understand that I am no-one special."

Ran looked downwards, "Master... you have self-confidence issues..."

"N-no I don't!" Dawitsu spluttered, "And that's another thing! If we were together, that whole 'Master' thing would be ten times more awkward!"

"You dodged my statement... that's what I like about you... you're... amusing." Ran said with a small smile.

"Well, I still have a point! What would it be like, eh?" Dawitsu put on a corny American Accent, "Honey, I'm home!", and then put on an imitation of Ran's voice, "Welcome home, Master..."

Ran smiled darkly, "I thought that would be... to your tastes..."

Dawitsu turned bright red, "Uh... well... um..."

Ran sighed to herself, "Oh well, I guess if you're not interested, you're not interested. But... Master, Yutaka really wants you to get a girlfriend..."

"...I know she does." Dawitsu looked downwards, "But you simply aren't... the right sort for me."

"Is it the tails? Because I can conceal them..." Ran offered.

Dawitsu was getting sick of her refusing to accept defeat, "Look, Ran, I don't want to be your boyfriend! You know what, I give up! This... woman thing's too difficult!"

Ran hugged Dawitsu, "At least... at least you're being honest and not being semi-committal..."

Dawitsu held Ran lightly, "I learnt my lesson from Sakuya..."

"I've noticed..." Ran released the Mimicker, and continued, "I'm sorry for all this, I must not be as intelligent as I thought I was..."

"...ain't stupid for noticing as fine a specimen as yours truly!" Dawitsu joked, "...let's try and... um, I don't know, take what we can from this and move on. Hey, do you know anywhere where we could find fox youkai?"


"Ah, a shame... perhaps we can go to the outside world again some time... I'm sure that a certain demographic of people would be willing to be your man..." Dawitsu cackled at his in-joke.

Ran didn't appreciate the joke, however, "I'm not desperate."

Dawitsu suddenly felt flattered, "Wow, that makes me feel... a little more confident. Sorry for joking about that, I guess you're wondering what you saw in me, eh?"

"...not at all..." Ran mused, "Master, I think I should go downstairs, I don't want Chen to ruin my game..."

"Fair enough..." Dawitsu replied, and the two walked out of the Pink Shell together, only to find Yutaka standing there, smiling.

"...better luck next time, Ran..." Yutaka offered her condolences.

Dawitsu jumped back a little, "There's gonna be a next time..."

Ran sighed, "Thank you for trying to help, Yutaka..."

Yutaka looked at Ran, "Well, it's always worth a try... and Boss... sorry for being angry..."

"Nah, I kinda needed the kick up the backside... I just hope next time you get angry you haven't got boiling water in your hands..."

The Forest of Magic, Marisa's House, eight post-meridian

Jean was making soup for the third time in that day, and was singing to himself, "Lala, ca va chauffeur, je sens le truc monter... allez, allez, allez, allez, ola, olé, allez, allez, allez, ola, oooolé..."

Marisa was getting bored of the smell of soup, and said, "Okay, Jean, I know you like that soup, but... give it a rest, will you. And what is that song?"

"Ah, only the greatest song France has released to the world..." Jean answered, and continued to sing, "Tout le monde, dambadam badabadam badambadam badam, c'est le son de l'année..."

Marisa groaned, and held her head in her hands, "Oh, I just wish someone would come up and kill me..."

A gap appeared in front of Marisa, and the voice of Yukari said, "Be careful what you wish for..."

Jean turned at the unfamiliar voice in shock, and screamed, "AH! A YOUKAI THAT WANTS TO KILL US!"

Marisa stayed calm, "Hi there, Yukari. Just in case you didn't guess, I was joking..."

Yukari's arm popped out of the gap, holding a grumbling Reimu, and dropped her in the room before Yukari herself walked into the room, "Hello, Marisa. I have gathered you all here today, and... ah, hello, human male, I don't believe we've met before..."

Jean had backed as far away from the Border Youkai as far as the kitchen's dimensions allowed, and stuttered, "...h-h-how... what did you do... to Reimu?"

Reimu, who seemed half-asleep, muttered, "Oh, nothing, she just threw me into her stupid gap things when I was about to sleep..."

Marisa burst into laughter, "You go to sleep this early?"

"...I was tired, okay?" Reimu mumbled, "And, Jean, it's okay, you can trust this Youkai..."

Yukari assured Jean in a far more callous manner, "Yes, if I wanted to hurt you, your body would already be a pile of sorry-for-itself cytoplasm..."

Jean stood up, slightly intimidated by the Youkai's claim, "...I shall believe you."

Yukari smiled, "Good, if I were you, I wouldn't get on my bad side. Anyway, I've brought you two together for the express purpose of telling you about another incident..."

Marisa rolled her eyes, "Alright, there'd better be stuff to steal or I'm not solving this one..."

Yukari smirked, "Well, if there isn't, I'll give you a set of items for free, how about that?"

Reimu grumbled, "I shouldn't have to do this every time! Can't Sanae do it?"

Yukari addressed the Shrine Maiden's complaint, "It's all well and good her solving the incident, but if you don't do it also... certain people who are expecting you to will be... disappointed..."

Jean put his hand to his chin, "What do you mean by... solve the incident?"

Marisa laughed, "Ah, well you see, whenever someone stupid causes a problem in Gensokyo, me and Reimu always go around shooting up fairies and generally we find the culprit. Sure, we beat up a couple of unrelated people along the way, but that's part of the experience..."

Jean smirked, "...that seems to be fun..."

Yukari's eyes lit up, "Oh... well, then... that's interesting. I know all about your shenanigans... you're learning magic from Marisa, aren't you? But would you be capable of helping solve the incident?"

Reimu became concerned, "No, Jean, it's too dangerous! Yukari, I'll do it, alright! Just don't make him do it!"

Marisa looked to Jean, "Actually, he knows my old arsenal of attacks well... if he joins us, he can do those while I do my new attacks..."

Yukari smirked, "Oh, that's good... well, perhaps he could help... alright, I need to find one more participant to help solve this incident... should it be Sanae?"

Reimu rolled her eyes, "Whatever..."

Yukari opened a gap, reached into it, and pulled Sanae out of it, "Here we are..."

Sanae looked left and right in a panic, "W-what's going on?"

"Oh, nothing. You're just incident-solver number four..." Marisa explained.

"Number four? But I was number three the last two times..." Sanae seemed a little disappointed, "B-but still, that doesn't mean you can just abduct me whenever you feel like it!"

Jean could identify with the green-haired shrine maiden, however, Reimu refused to, "Stop moaning and let's solve this thing..."

Jean ran into the study, and returned with his broom in hand, "So, Miss..."

"...Yakumo." Yukari answered the implied question.

"...thank you. Miss Yakumo, where is it we shall go to?" Jean asked.

"Aren't you keen? Well, once all the lazy humans are ready, you can start shooting fairies here. I'm sure there'll be some weak youkai to fight..." Yukari recalled the common trends of the incidents, "...well, good luck! I'll see you once you're done solving the incident..."

Walking through a gap, Yukari disappeared as quickly as she had forced the two unwitting guests into Marisa's house. Sanae muttered, "Well, I guess that I have no choice... alright, let's do this, guys..."

Marisa smiled, "Yeah, let's do this! All for one, and one for all!"

Jean mused, "How does she know about the three musketeers?"

And so, the four set off, no doubt ready to kick some tail end as the fairies, as if scripted, began to cause mayhem in the forest. Also, as if on cue, the first 'weak youkai' Yukari had predicted appeared, being a Chimera Youkai with a somewhat snarky snake for a tail. Jean, Marisa, Reimu, and Sanae, all seemed to equally contribute towards the solving of this new incident, however, what this incident was exactly... well, that's a story not to be determined by this author...

Meanwhile, the two Lizard Youkai had found their Tengu Publisher, but contrary to Tokage's wishes, the White Wolf Tengu dutifully published copies of both books, meaning that soon enough, proof of who the greatest author was would become apparent...

Author's Notes: THIS. IS. FREAKING. HUGE. And... well, this is where it ends, folks! With Jean joining Reimu and the gang as a 'playable character'! And yes, that means for one of my Danmakufu projects, I will be making a playable Jean Franc Levoisier... maybe even a full scale Touhou 13.5... but first, or during, I'll be doing my idea of showing... just how bad Tokage's writing is, and just how... superior Hebiko's is.

...was this ending too abrupt? Probably. Could I have handled it better? Well, judge for yourself and review, I'd love to hear from you guys one last time...