Hello, everyone! This is the final chapter of this story. I'm really sad; it's been an amazing journey. I love all of you very much! Nine reviews for last chapter? Wow, phenomenal! Before I get on to shout outs, there's an important announcement at the end of the chapter so please read it if you have the time.
Jeremy Shane: Sorry I didn't see you reviewed so I couldn't add your shout out onto the last chapter. Thanks for reviewing!
playing tragic: Well, here ya go!
Ayamas4Ever: Yep, she's dead :(
Ehh what's my pen name again: Ha! Love the username! Yeah, she's dead D:
Immortal Vows: Tee hee, I'm glad you like my sense of humor! Thanks so so much!
thesoundof: That's so sweet, thank you! This was a fantastic review :)
parkitcharlie: Thanks! I love your reviews!
BigStuOU: I'm glad you saw it coming! Thanks :D
fallingforuwasfate: You shall see!
Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious.
He was there, but he never told.
Sinjin walks nervously to Tori's door, his palms sweating horribly. He raises a shaky fist to the door and gives a small knock. Trina answers it and just stares blankly at him. There are dark circles under her eyes, as if she hasn't slept a wink of sleep in her life. She's dressed in sweatpants and a tee shirt – a rarity for Trina, Sinjin notices.
"Yes?" she asks, her voice lacking any emotion.
"C-Can I see your dad?" Trina opens the door the whole way, revealing Mr. Vega and his wife sitting on the couch. Mrs. Vega is clutching a few mascara smeared tissues, sniffling. It's only been three days since…it happened, but this has been eating away at Sinjin. Mr. Vega stands slowly, looking at least fifty years old. He looks about the same as Trina; very detached and unemotional.
"Yes, son, do I know you?" Mr. Vega asks, his voice strained and tired.
"Um, sir, I'm Sinjin van Cleef. I went to school with Tor – your daughter. But before she started going there, though, I worked at a movie theater a few blocks over. That was three years ago. One night, I had to clean up after a movie…" Sinjin trails off, remembering exactly what the horror movie was: The April House. "A-And I saw your daughter there, she was alone. There was…b-blood running down her leg and–"
"Excuse me, Sinjin, is it?" the man asks, tears in his eyes. "A young man by the name of…Daniel came and saw me yesterday. He confessed to r-raping Tor…Tori." Mr. Vega's breaks when he says her name, as he begins to cry. "He'd been threatening her to have sex with him for the past two years, and she did. That was him who left her at the movie theater that night. We – we're trying to figure out if it was a murder or a…or a…"
"Thank you, sir," Sinjin cuts him off and hurriedly makes his way towards the door, wanting to get as far away as possible.
"Son," Mr. Vega utters and the boy turns to face him, "thank you."
Sinjin just nods and leaves. He runs all the way to the bus stop, where he lets out a few tears. Tori had been raped all these years because of him. As soon as he saw her with that blood, he should've called the police. When he saw her in the showcase, he rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming. But alas, no, it was her.
He remembers so vividly when Cat started dating this Daniel guy. Sinjin was so jealous; why couldn't girls like him like that? And then Tori sprayed cheese all over the couple, and Sinjin – along with everyone else – just assumed Tori was a bitch. None of them never even stopped to think that she might have been going through stuff. Stuff with Daniel, that is.
It makes Sinjin sick. So much, in fact, that he pukes all over a Northridge girl that's sitting next to him on the bus stop bench. She shrieks in horror and runs in no particular direction, but the awkward boy doesn't care. He thinks of Tori. Beautiful, sweet, broken Tori. He'd always had a crush on her, but was too afraid to bring up the night at the movie theater.
He's a chicken shit. Sinjin knew something must have been going on with her at the movie; her facial expression was absolutely blank and terrifying. Then there was the blood on her leg, which he tried and tried to come up with an excuse for. And anyway, what fifteen year old girl goes and sees a horror movie all by her lonesome in a big, dark, scary theater?
His bus comes and leaves, but he doesn't really notice. Sinjin just sits there in his vomit-covered shirt, willing tears not to fall. No one sits by him, which he thinks makes sense, and they all just stand by the bus stop sign. The guilt eats him up. His insides twist as his stomach churns, and his brain just shouts over and over about how he's the one who killed Tori.
It's all Sinjin's fault.
Robbie, Andre, Jade, Beck, and Cat are all sitting in a police station.
Cat is sobbing into Beck shoulder loudly, Robbie is playing with the leather of his wallet, Jade's picking at her chipped navy blue nail polish, and Andre's hands are balled into fists as he sits in deep thought. A police officer whose name no one really cares to learn steps into the room and takes a seat at the head of the table. He clears his throat and uncomfortably stares at Cat, probably wanting her to stop crying. Beck whispers into her ear and she lifts her head and takes a deep breath, attempting to compose herself.
"Thank you all for coming," the man says in a deep, throaty voice. "Five days ago, January 16th, 2012, Victoria Vega was found dead in her home." This earns a small whimper from Cat and Jade rolls her eyes. The officer continues, "It looked to be a suicide, but a boy by the name of Daniel O'Brian confessed to have raping Tori. He told us that he had been threatening her to have sex with him for about two years after. So, with that said, this could be a possible homicide case."
Shock. Pure astonishment registers on each and every one of their faces, especially since Cat dated him. "Daniel told us that she offered to have sex with him in order to protect her friend, a miss Cat Valentine, from him raping her as well. Is that you?" he asks timidly to Cat, his voice gentle. All she can do is nod her head before erupting into another fit of sobs.
"Well, when we examined her body, we found what appears to be a total of ten self inflicted wounds. Each one is a different word. I have pictures of each one of these injuries and I would like for you all to see them. We have to know if any of you ever saw these, or talked with Tori about them. Okay?"
Everyone nods, though Cat a little hesitant. The officer pulls nine pictures out of his folder and spreads them out on the table. There they are; pretty on her stomach, talented on her forearm, innocent on the inside of her right thigh, shining on her left calf, good friend on her upper arm, nice on her left thigh, perfect on her right calf, good sister on her right thigh with loyal next to it, and finally loved on her wrist. Everyone takes a picture and then passes it. They're all crying, except Jade who just looks bored.
"I…uh…I knew that she cut herself; she told me. I personally saw perfect, good friend, and talented." Beck says, tears streaking his cheeks.
"I knew from the very beginning," Jade offers with a smirk, "I dumped a bottle of water on her arm at the showcase and saw talented. I was at her house after Beck broke it off with me and we were both crying and we said some…kind of hurtful things. She actually cut herself in front of me. Perfect…" She finishes, her voice lacking much emotion other than annoyance.
"Thank you both, that's very helpful–" the policeman begins to say.
"You knew?" Andre exclaims, standing. "You knew all this time and never said anything! Good God, Jade, she could have been saved. Do you really not have a soul? She's gone and it's all your f–"
"Oh hell no, you can say whatever you want to me, but you are not going to stand there and tell me that this was my fault!" Jade screeches back, on her feet in an instant, "It's no one's fault except Tori's – she wasn't the damn Scarecrow; she had a brain of her own. She could have told anyone at anytime but she obviously didn't want to. Don't blame me because you're fucking ignorant. Hell, if you're going to use that logic you may as well say that it would be the hot dog guy's fault for looking at her wrong when she ordered syrup. She wasn't stable, and that isn't my damn fault!"
"Go to hell!" Andre screams at the top of his lungs.
"You first!" Jade shoots back, turning towards the door. She leaves quickly and Cat runs after her. Beck, in turn, follows Cat, and Robbie goes too. Rolling his eyes, Andre gets up and follows his friends out the door as well.
"I suppose this is a good time to quit, then," the policeman says sarcastically to himself.
"Jade!" Robbie yells.
"Hey, c'mon Jade, I'm sorry for what I said. Talk to us. Please?" pleads Andre.
"You're being ridiculous." Beck says frantically, sighing.
"JADE!" Finally, the dark haired girl turns around when she hears Cat screech out her name. The small girl is staring at Jade keenly; her eyes big and filled with tears. Beck has his arm planted firmly around her shoulders but she isn't focused on him whatsoever. Jade looks around the half empty police station parking lot, wondering when things got so fucked up.
"Yeah?" is all Jade can think to say, her voice exhausted.
"We're hurting, too!" Cat yells angrily, her blood boiling. "Tori was our friend, you aren't the only one who lost her!"
"Come off it, Cat! She wasn't really your friend; she did incredibly bitchy things to all of us, right?" Jade asks hatefully, and there's a moment of silence until Cat pipes up again.
"That wasn't her fault! She hurt me because she had to! Admit it Jade, you miss her." the small girl's voice is strong, now, and Jade doesn't think she's ever heard her speak with so much conviction. Cat breaks away from Beck and steps closer to the taller girl. "You miss her and you know it, but you're too fuc…fucking proud to say so!" Everyone's jaws drop; Cat never uses curse words. "If I had a thousand fingers I couldn't even begin to count how many times you were mean to her. We're all mourning her!"
"You think I don't know that?" Jade whimpers, tears finally cascading down her face. She hides her face in her hands then wipes her nose, sniffling. "She helped me when I needed her most. I wanted to hate her, but I…but I never could. She was," Jade pauses for a moment and then whispers, "perfect."
The girl falls to the ground in a crumpled heap. Her friends run to her and help her up, and when they do Cat embraces her. Jade wobbles for a minute then catches her balance. At first she's stiff against Cat but after a few seconds she rests her hands on the redhead's back. Andre's the next to join the hug, wrapping his arms around both of the girls. Robbie and Beck soon follow, making a complete group hug. They all cry together, their sobs filling the chilly January air.
And there, they know that everything will be alright. They will never just be the same old group of five that they once were before Tori Vega, but they will eventually adjust. There's a silent agreement that even when the group embrace ends, they will all still metaphorically hang on to each other. Even after high school ends and they graduate, they will always be on each other's speed dial. Each of them hopes that if there is a heaven, Tori's looking down on them and smiling.
Because the world just always seemed right when she smiled.
When Cat goes off to use the restroom at lunch, Beck finds Robbie. It's been a week since Tori died and it's the first day any one of her friends shows up to school. It's hushed outside as the students eat their lunches quietly. Everyone is sitting sadly, making small conversation. It's mostly all about how great of a person Tori was, which makes Beck happy. He can't help but feel like it's his fault that she died.
"Hey Robbie," Beck says with relief when he finds him inside, looking at Tori's old locker.
"Oh, uh, hey Beck." Robbie says with a small, depressed smile.
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about what happened last Christmas. I really liked you, honest, it was just a mistake. You'll always be my first kiss, and my first...you know, other stuff." Beck says sheepishly as Robbie cracks a genuine smile.
"Hey, man, no hard feelings," Robbie says honestly. That makes Beck grin as he pulls the other boy into a tight hug. The taller one claps Robbie on the back as they let go. "Tori would be happy to know I'm not mad at her anymore," Robbie mutters bitterly.
"Alright, Kit Cat," Beck says as he scoops Cat up into his arms. They're just exiting his truck outside the RV. They've just gotten back from Jade's house where they all talked and discussed their feelings, and they are both terribly drained. "Time to get you to bed. It's been a long day." Cat mumbles some agreement as she fights to stay awake. She feels peaceful for once in the last two weeks, and she's trying to hold onto it for as long as she can. She knows that she'll just have to wake up and relive it all again tomorrow.
Once in the recreational vehicle, Cat allows Beck to undress her and put on the pajamas that she leaves there for their little "sleepovers." After he finishes, she lays down in the bed as he undresses as well. He slides in next to his girlfriend as she lays her head on his bare chest.
"Beck?" she asks sleepily with a yawn.
"What…What did the words on her skin mean?" Cat inquires with her eyes intently on Beck.
"Well, baby girl, they were all the things Tori wanted to be. When she did something wrong, she wished so badly that she had done it right. So she thought if she…put the words on her body that maybe they would become true. Does that make sense?"
Cat nods. "I wish she had told me."
"I'm sure she wanted to, but didn't know how," Beck offers in hope to comfort her.
It's silent for a long time. "Cat?"
"Promise me you'll never put words on your skin."
"I won't, Beck, I promise." Cat answers immediately, "I wouldn't want for anyone to cry at my funeral like that."
Beck just clutches Cat's head to his chest as he sobs.
It's a comfortably warm day in January. The sun's hot on all their backs as they sit in the Asphalt Café – it looks so different, though, with the lunch tables all moved out and the casket sitting up front – each one in an uncomfortable plastic chair. Most of the school is there along with Tori's family, so needless to say the place is packed. Everyone makes their way through the line to see the girl's limp, lifeless body. Robbie, Jade, Andre, Beck, Cat, Trina, and Mr. and Mrs. Vega are all at the end of line as the guests come and offer their condolences.
Once the visitation is over the funeral begins directly after, and the preacher gets up and talks. He speaks forever about Tori's spirit, although he never really knew her. No one's paying all that much attention through their tears. Jade, in spite of herself, has salty tears running from her eyes. As soon as one begins to fall, though, she immediately wipes it away. Cat is sobbing into Beck's shoulder as he sniffles periodically and strokes her hair. Robbie is sitting next to Rex, who has his own chair, as the boy cries silently. Andre is sitting with his palms pressed to his eyelids, wishing it all to be over.
Finally, it's time for speeches. Tori's friends and her sister rise and make their ways to the podium that they all share. They look out into the crowd of so many people, somehow wishing that Tori could know that she was, in fact, loved. Each teenager looks around silently, left to their thoughts. Cat knows that her best friend is dead, but she still doesn't understand why. Jade is mad at herself for putting Tori down so many times. Beck hates himself for giving up. Trina wishes that she could've forgiven her sister for saying she didn't have talent. Robbie blames himself. Andre can't help but despise himself for walking away. "Tori Vega was so many things," Beck begins sullenly into the microphone.
"She was loved," Andre says in a melancholy tone.
"She was a good sister," Trina supplies in a hoarse voice.
"She was nice," Robbie half cries.
"She was perfect," says a gloomy Jade, tears threatening to spill once more.
"She was a good friend," an extremely pained Cat mutters.
"She was loyal," Beck tells the audience.
They all say in perfect unison, "She was pretty. She made it shine. She was innocent. She was talented."
It's over. It's really, really over. I always get so sad when I finish a piece, because I feel as if, along the way, the story becomes a part of me. Wow, guys, everyone has been incredible. I love every single view, favorite, hit, and review with all my heart. You all are amazing and without you this would be nothing.
I have an important announcement type of thing. I'm a cutter. I've been clean of it for about three weeks but I don't know if I'll do it again. This story has been very emotional for me because of my personal experiences. I'm not using this for sympathy, I just feel as though it's something I should share. This isn't a topic to be taken lightly; it's a very serious problem. It hurts both physically and emotionally, and you just simply feel trapped. To anyone like me, you're not alone. Please, try to get help from friends, family, anyone. I know what it's like, and if any of you need to talk – about anything, not just cutting – please, please feel free to message me. I'm a good listener.
Well, I suppose that's it. It's my last author's note of this story; better make it good, huh?
Okay, just please review.