I clutched at her wrist tighter as she tried to pull away, my long fingers holding her with now bruising force. She winced in pain, but I didn't let her go. I watched her face, her blue eyes travelled down to my hand, and she tried not to show the slight panic that was rising in her.
"Bella you're hurting me, love." She placed her hand on top of mine and gently tried to prise my fingers from her already bruising wrist. I tightened my grip.
"Tell me you'll stay and I'll let you go." I whispered the words through gritted teeth, and I heard the madness in my own voice, but at this point I was to far gone to care.
She looked back at me and her eyes were pleading now, silently begging me not to do this, that she didn't have any choice but to go. I shook my head and silent words passed between us, she tugged her arm slightly to get away, I gripped harder. I didn't want her to leave me again, I couldn't breathe without her, didn't she understand that without her I'm so lost. She whimpered in pain and again tried to loosen my grip on her.
"Bella, I'll be back in a few hours. Love, you know I have to go to Saint Mungo's." Her voice had taken on a new pitch as my nails dug into her pale skin.
I wasn't listening, the only thing in my head was making her stay here with me, keeping her from leaving me alone here again. I backed her up into the wall of our bedroom, my other hand reaching up to gently smooth her face in a soft and tender caress. She lent her head into my touch and her eyes closed momentarily as my fingers lovingly smoothed her skin.
"Don't go Cissy, stay here with me, pet. Please stay with me." I placed my lips close to her ear and began to whisper sweet nothings to her, I felt her shudder at my words and I smirked at her reaction.
"Bella, please let me go, you're hurting me, love." Her voice had dropped in pitch now as her body responded to my gentle touches and sweet words. "I have to go, but I promise I'll be back as soon as I can."
I snarled angrily, and pulled back to look at her my grip tightening on her wrist again. She cried out in pain at my vice like hold and I shoved her backwards into the wall, my heart speeding up in my chest at the thought of her leaving me, even if only for a few hours. Cissy, please don't leave me here by myself, the walls close in on me, and I cant breathe. Please stay and hold my hand. These are the words I thought, but not the ones I spoke.
"No, pet. I don't want you to go, so you'll not go. Simple." I tilted my head at her as my eyes searched her face. A single tear rolled down her ivory skin, and I felt some of the fog that was fast descending on my brain lift ever so slightly.
"Please Bella, let me go." She whispered the request as her blue eyes turned away from the intensity of my stare. "I have to go, you know I do. We've been through this a million times, I /have/ to go."
She looked up at me and reached up to touch my face, I flinched away and a look of hurt crossed her features. I ignored it, and smiled sweetly at her, the darkness in my mind covering me like a black blanket. She moved slowly away to the side of me, trying to free her wrist from my grip. I growled threateningly and tugged her back, there was a snapping sound and she cried out in pain, her knees gave out and she slide down the wall, tears falling from her wide frightened eyes.
I shook my head to clear the mist from my mind. I snapped her wrist. I let her go and backed away, my hand covering my mouth in horror at what I'd done. I watched as she cradled her broken bone to her chest, her head was bowed and her shoulders shaking with the force of her sobs. I sank to my knees in front of her, reaching out with my trembling hand. What had I done?
"Cissy, I'm sorry. Please, forgive me. I'm sorry, so so sorry I hurt you." I chanted the words over and over, my hand stopping just short of her as my own eyes filled with tears of guilt and ramose.
She lifted her head to look at me and I dropped my hand into my lap, my heart broke at the pain on her face, pain that I had again caused her. She met my eyes for a brief second, her good hand groping under her dress for her wand, her broken wrist moved and she almost screamed in pain. I moved closer to her, my own wand was already in my grip. As gently as I could, I took her injured arm. Bruises in the shape of my hand had already formed on the beautiful skin there, and I felt my hear break more at the sight, more tears leaked from my eyes as I tapped my wand to the break and muttered a healing spell.
The crack of the bones resetting themselves and her cry of agony told me they were mended. I dropped her hand and looked away, my wand falling from my grip to clatter on the wooden floor, in the silence of the room, the sound was deafening. She flexed her wrist and her small grimace at the tenderness she must have felt there, made my tears fall harder. I was a danger to her, I shouldn't be around her. Azkaban had broken me almost beyond repair. In the past I would never have hurt her like that, other people yes, but not my Cissy. I'd never hurt my Cissy. But I did hurt her, I had hurt her, this was one time in many that my temper had clouded my ever unhinged mind and I'd lashed out at her. The last time my talon like nails had opened up a gash in her arm, and she now had a scar there from my lack of control. I was something to be feared, not loved.
She must have read my thoughts, because the next thing I knew she was in my arms, with her face pressed into my neak and her arms tight around me. She held me against her and I felt my own arms wrap around her waist.
"Cissy. I shouldn't be around you, I do nothing but hurt you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry please forgive me." I buried my face in her hair and let my tears wet her skin, her hands tangled in my wild curls and her lips found mine in a devouring kiss.
"No, Bella, hush now. Don't say that, not to me. You're my sister, my lover, my protector. You're my warrior queen, I love you." She spoke between kisses and I closed my eyes and listend to her words.
"I cant control myself, what if one day I hurt you so badly, I cant heal you?" I clutched at her at the thought, my grip on her tightening. She didn't flinch, nor pull away.
"You wont, you'll always come back before it goes that far. I trust you Bella."
I gazed at her lovingly, my hands loosing their grip on her dress. She locked her blue eyes with my brown ones and I felt my heart skip a beat at the love in her eyes. She reached up and smoothed my face with the back of her hand, her lips meeting mine in a feather lite kiss, and I held her to me, the same hand that had moments ago broken her, now stroked her tenderly. I love you, I've loved you, and I'll love you always and forever.
People call me the Warrior Queen, the brave one and the fighter. But it's my sister that's the Warrior, and the brave one, and the fighter. She just does it where no one can see. To me, she is my saviour, the one that will never leave me, nor let me fall. To me she is my light in the ever eternal darkness of my mind.