This roughly takes place 6 months after Let Go. If you haven't read that story I suggest skimming through it so you understand this story better.
"I drag myself out of nightmares each morning only to find there's no relief in waking."
Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay
Thea withered and moaned as their calloused, rough hands groped and grabbed at her body. She flailed with her arms and legs in a vain attempt to keep them away from her. As one bound her wrists in his large paw the other bit and licked her, tainting and marking her alabaster skin.
"Please don't," she would beg only to be returned with revolting laughter and wolfish grins. As one held her down the other readied himself, Thea could not stop the flow of tears and bile rising to her throat. "No," she begged one more time. He raised himself so that she could look into his loathsome face only to find that it wasn't Appo, but Cody.
Thea Barron shot up from her sleeping pallet, heart pounding against her chest and body quaking from rattled nerves. Blinking a few times to let her eyes adjust to the surrounding darkness, Thea realized that she was on her ship Themis and not back in the hell that she had escaped from two years ago. Running a shaky hand through her hair, down her face and over her lips, she wondered why she was starting to have these nightmares again.
A soft little snore to her side interrupted her thoughts as she looked over and studied the sleeping body next to her. Cody, ex-commander of the fallen Republic had swooped into her life a little over six months ago and together they had helped each other through some of the darkest of nights. He had been able to help her stop running from her demons and free her from the loathsomeness she felt. He had shown her that love can be gentle, caring and passionate and it was okay to let go.
In return, she had given him her heart. It was something that she never thought she could do or would want do again, not since Echo. Since then, the nightmares she had all but disappeared. That is, until recently. The whole past week Thea had been plagued with terrors of being found again and taken back to the Coruscant prison to be tortured by Appo and Bow again. In her nightmare, she was never able to break free and tonight had taken a horrible turn as it wasn't Appo who was attacking her, but Cody. It made her sick to her stomach to think of him that way. She knew Cody would never do such a thing, even vowing to kill Appo and Bow if he ever saw them again. But it did not calm her nerves.
Cody slightly shifted in his sleep and Thea suddenly felt foolish. Cody loved her and put up with her antics when she had gone into full blown panic attacks when they attempted to make love. Thea didn't know of another man out there who would be patient enough and just hold and/or talk her through her attacks. Biting the bottom of her lip, she tried to recall the last time they even made love.
Cringing, all she could remember was the glorious night on Mandalore when she and Cody bonded and one other time after a crazy transport of some cargo and being chased by pirates who demanded that they either hand over the cargo or never see the light of day again. With some outrageous maneuvers and fancy flying and shooting, Cody and Thea had successfully evaded the pirates and dropped off the cargo at its destination. The owner of the cargo had graciously offered them both a room for the night which they accepted. In the end, sleep did not come as Cody and Thea got caught up in the moment and let their adrenaline and passions take over.
It's a wonder he even wants to be with me. I am a full blown psychotic mess. Feeling her body begin to relax, Thea took a deep breath and exhaled it through her mouth. She wasn't going back to sleep tonight, she didn't want to go through another round of dreams like that again. Scooting down, she lay back down on the bed and curled around Cody's strong back draping her arm around his waist.
"Thea?" A tired and muffled voice came from Cody's side of the bed.
"Shh, go back to sleep Cody," Thea urged. She hadn't meant to wake him.
Too late, he may have been a sound sleeper, but old habits were hard to kill and with his sensitive hearing and military training, Cody was awake. Turning on his other side so he was now facing her, Cody eyed Thea with concern. He had noticed a difference in her this past week, but learned the first time when he tried to get Thea to talk about it. She had gone silent and wouldn't talk to him, which was difficult since they shared the ship together. He relented and apologized for pushing her to talk; telling her when she was ready then he would be there to listen. It never happened.
"I'm sorry Cody," Thea looked embarrassingly down at the plains of his chest.
"For what?" It was too early and his brain was trying to get the wheels turning on what she could possibly be sorry for.
"For seeing you as something that you are not," she mumbled. Cody drew his brows together and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, Thea was looking at him with a brewing amount of emotions he couldn't quite place.
"What?" He didn't understand and he was sure it wasn't the sleep that was clogging his brain. Thea wasn't making sense.
"It doesn't matter, you'll never be him and you've proven that over and over." It was like she was having a conversation with herself, but as Cody listened, he was starting to get an idea. Of course I'll never be like Echo, but I'm not trying to be. I thought she understood that.
Cody was about to open his mouth, but was taken by surprise as Thea's red-rose lips descended onto his. She pushed him to his back as she climbed onto his waist and looked down at him, her cheeks flushed and dark eyes wide.
What was going on? What had gotten into her? "Thea…" but Cody was again thwarted from speaking as she smothered him with another mind blowing kiss. Taking his bottom lip into her mouth, she none-so-gently sucked on it and then began a trail over his jaw to his throat. A low groan vibrated in the back of his throat as her lips descended to his collar bone and continued to go lower.
Wait! "Thea!" Cody firmly took her by the arms and made her stop; as much as he wanted to keep going, he had to find out why she was acting this way. Her hair was in disarray half of it covered her face, the other half looking like a wild pyro tornado. "What are you doing?" He demanded.
"Don't you want this Cody?" She huskily asked pushing her hips forward against his. A hiss sneaked its way through his teeth and again he had to close his eyes to fight for control.
"More than anything Thea, but this isn't you. What brought this on? Is it the dreams?"
Thea lifted her lip in a small snarl. "I don't want to talk about it, but I realized that we haven't made love in a long, long time. I haven't been fair to you." She took each of Cody's hands into hers and rested them above his head and leaned forward so that their chests were meeting and their lips only a breath a part. "I need you to love me. Show me again Cody; show me that it can be kind, gentle and wonderful."
"Thea…" Something was horribly wrong, she never acted this way. As much as he wanted to do this, as much as his body told him to love on her, he couldn't. "Thea stop."
She wasn't listening to him as she took little nips down his navel. Cody's breath started to become ragged and a soft moan emitted from him as her tongue ran over his nipple. She was driving him to distraction and it was working. He could feel her release his hands and her nails skimmed over his arms sending delightful shivers throughout his body. Warning bells screamed in alarm for him to stop her, but his deprived body waged a gallant war. Her kisses soon made it to his waist, right above his sleeping shorts and Cody was lost to her touches.
Snaking a hand around her waist, he flipped them over so that he was now on top and ran his hand along the side of her ribcage. He cupped her breast into his hand and skimmed his thumb over her erect nipple.
"Touch me Cody, make me forget," she panted against him. He should have stopped as soon as the words left her mouth, but he would do anything for Thea to help ease her pain. The urgency in her voice set the pace, their night clothes were quickly discarded, his hands quickly found her sweet spot causing her to cry out. He pumped into her; one; two fingers and Thea's hands tangled into his silky ebony hair, letting him wash her worries away at least for the time being.
Feeling her tighten around him, he pulled out of her, not letting her get away from him that quickly. Her eyes opened and flashed brilliantly in the dark. "Cody…" she purred. Her throaty timber only made him harder. Slow down son, but he couldn't. She was glowing, calling, tempting him and he would not be denied to her seductive call. She raked her fingers right above his maleness, over his solid belly to his shoulders.
"Woman you're killing me," he growled. Taking her breast into his mouth he lavished attention on it until she was chanting his name and went to the other. Both their bodies quivering, ready and craving, Cody swiftly entered Thea.
"Cody!" She shrieked his name as his body filled within hers. Setting an almost impossible tempo, Cody nearly withdrew himself to slam back into her, causing them to both cry out in pure ecstasy. As athletic as he was, Cody would not be able to keep up this chaotic pace for long. Thea bucked several times against him and then wrapped her legs around his hips, squeezing them tightly against her. That's all it took to send them both over the edge and into bliss.
Later after catching their breaths and recuperating somewhat, Thea unraveled herself from Cody and slid off the bed without as much as a word to him and made her way into the refresher. She closed the door behind her, shutting herself in and Cody out.
Not that Cody would complain about sex, especially since it was few and null between him and Thea, but he knew a diversion when he saw one. This was one. There was obviously something very wrong with her for she would never use love making as an excuse or tool to be taken advantage of. But wasn't that what they had just done? Didn't she just use it to excuse herself from having to explain about her night terrors?
Make me forget, her sultry voice plead with him. Forget what Thea? Echo? Appo and Bow? What? Sighing with frustration, Cody knew he wouldn't be able to sleep again and decided to get up. Swinging his long legs over the bed, he stood up and some trepidation he approached the refresher.
"Thea?" He lightly knocked on the door.
Inside the refresher Thea braced each hand on either side of the metallic sink and breathed in deeply trying to regain some composure. Her heart hadn't calmed down; in fact, her pulse was racing even faster than during their love making and she willed herself not to fall into another panic attack.
Quickly splashing some cool water onto her face, she let the liquid run down and drip into the basin. She then looked into the mirror. The reflection should have startled her, but for some reason it didn't. Dark lines rimmed under her eyes giving a stark contrast to her snowy colored skin. Little red dots marked where Cody's lips had been and she lightly touched one of them.
"Bleed for me Red," Appo's revolting voice cackled. Thea lurched forward, unable to contain the vomit from spewing out of her mouth. Luckily she made it into the toilet before it went everywhere. As she emptied the contents from her stomach Cody's extremely worried voice sounded from outside. Gasping for a breath, Thea hovered over the toilet for a few minutes in case her stomach decided it wasn't finished.
'Thea?" He called again.
Backing up to the wall, she slowly lowered herself to the ground, letting her naked body feel the cold of the floor and wall.
'Thea!" Cody yelled.
Trying to keep the quake out of her voice, Thea replied, "I'll be out in just a minute Cody."
"Are you alright?" Leaning her forehead against her knees, she felt far from alright.
"Yes," she lied.
There was silence on the other side and for a moment Thea thought he had left. "Tell me what I can do to help."
Nothing Cody. There's nothing you can do. "I'm just going to jump into the shower and I'll be out in a little bit." Her stomach rolled and her limbs felt weak, but she didn't want to go back to bed. Going back to bed meant she might go back to sleep and sleeping meant nightmares.
"I'll have some caf waiting for you when you get out."
As Thea showered, she made the water as hot as her skin would allow her. She soaked under the warmth; still it would not warm her up. She scrubbed her body with the soap over and over, trying to rid of the memory of their hands, but she could still feel them pawing at her.
What can I do to help? Cody had asked. Thea paused mid scrub as a new thought came to her. It started to become clear to her that the reason she was still having these night terrors, why she was getting physically ill was because there was a chance Appo and Bow were still out there and could harm her. What if they were no longer around? There would no longer be a reason to fear and justice would be done: an eye for an eye. She would not let them taint her lover's good name or face anymore; she no longer would see him as a monster in her dreams.
Suddenly her stomach untied itself, the cold that just would not leave began to melt and she finally felt the warmth of the steamy shower. Yes, that was the solution. Appo and Bow had to pay for their crimes, for her long and agonizing anguish. They had to die; it was the only way for her to have a full and fearless life. Feeling a sense of relief knowing that soon her demons would disappear, Thea let herself enjoy the rest of her shower.
Cody sipped uneasily on his café and waited for Thea to emerge from the refresher. He expected many things when she appeared from him: for her to be quiet and sullen as she had been so many times before, tense and aggravated or pretend that nothing had happened at all. As she stepped out of the room, draped only in a towel, fresh steam still rising from her skin, an afterglow silhouetting her frame and droplets falling from her blood-red tresses, Cody had to suppress the urge to ravish her again. Cool your jets boy.
"Are you alright?" He asked awkwardly.
"Yes Cody," she sounded confident, but that made him moved vexed
"I thought I heard you throwing up in there? Are you sick?" He prodded. She shook her head as she found some clothes to wear for the day. Now he was growing impatient. Setting down his mug, he strode up to her, grabbing Thea by the shoulders and turned her so that she was looking at him. "Are you going to tell me what this morning was all about?" He couldn't read anything in her dark eyes and blank stare, except the small tick in her cheek. "Don't you trust me?"
Her face slackened and she wrapped her arms around his torso, placing her head against his chest. Tentatively he returned the hug.
"Of course I trust you," she whispered. The next few words uttered out of her mouth shook Cody to his core. "I'm going to kill Appo and Bow."
Off to a dark start!
Stay tuned for more. Enjoy and please review! =)