He feels like weeping, as silly as it sounds. His thoughts confuse him more than anything does. They remind him of a beach tide, right when he thinks he's a step closer to figuring what he has forgotten, the memories recede back into his mind.
He feels like he's trying to solve one of those difficult puzzles, built to test patience and endurance. The thoughts that plague his mind are like those puzzles. Vague, scattered everywhere, all the pieces holding a little secret, carrying the overall bigger picture.
Red, blue, and gold...
Those colors stand out almost overwhelmingly to him. This…thing-whatever it is, is on the tip of his minds tongue. He has never felt so frustrated, so desperate to want to know something, to have all the puzzle pieces align…
But like all puzzles, there's grooves and curves that throw you off, that are meant to be tricky and calculating, this puzzle demands patience. Sorry, he thinks, I have none.
"Father!" Thor calls, his voice reverberates off the golden walls of the throne room, as well as the whole palace.
As he walks in his eyes meet his father's companionless one with all the upstanding anger he can without faltering to his father's feet. "What you have done father…" Thor paces slightly at the edge of Odin's throne, his eyes bore into the ground beneath his feet almost as if the look he gives it alone will make it combust.
He swings Mjolnir in his hand as he occasionally looks at his father with scorn. "How could you! " Thor's voice holds an air of confidence as he reigns down on Odin, but even he, the mighty Thor, cannot contain the shakiness of his next verbal assault.
"How could you have sent him to Midgard! Alone and venerable without the aid of his magic," Thor's knees start to shake, "Without the aid of his very self! How could you abolish Loki's memories of Asgard, of his life, as if they were the pieces of your robes that you had no more use for! Gone father! All of it! What you have done is unforgivable!" He spits unforgivable out more venomously than the rest, and it leaves an unfamiliar taste in his mouth.
Odin does not strike back like Thor so obviously thought he would. Everything is completely quite, save for Thor's heavy breathing, and he looks at his father waiting for him to do something-anything except sit on that stupid throne with an emotion in his one eye Thor can't pin point. He refuses to recognize it as sorrow.
"What was unforgivable Thor, was the mass genocide committed against Jotunheim that your brother constructed, planned, and carried out." He stops, letting the words sink in for both Thor and himself. Thor shifts slightly, and averts his gaze back on the ground, uncomfortable talking at all, about what he failed to save that day.
"Loki's atrocity of an act could have been met with death Thor." Odin trails off again, his voice barely shakes as he says, "After all he has done, he deserved that much." Thor has to look away as his father shows, to which he is not used to, tremors of despair. "Father…"
"No Thor! You foolish boy, this is not something of your mother's that he accidentally broke! A world and its people are gone because of your brother's actions. He has to pay for what he has done!"
"He did it for you!"
This makes Odin's only eye widen as he visibly stills. "He did it all for you! To prove himself, he said, to be a worthy son!" Thor snickers at this, what was the meaning of a 'worthy son' to his father anyway.
"Loki is profoundly misguided, not evil, like everyone in these palace walls seems to think! Why would you increase the confusion within him by erasing what is rightfully his?" Odin looks back at Thor unwaveringly, and Thor has to take a step back. "Did you even ever love Loki?" He asks appalled, because he cannot tell. What father would just throw away his son after such an obvious cry for help?
"Loki is my son. By blood or not, he is my son."
"Then, you must know what I would do for my brother."
Odin nods, slowly and solemnly.
"He can never set foot in these halls again, Thor. If he did there would always be unrest, lines of people eternally plotting his demise, maybe even down the line, his children's…" Thor shivers at the thought.
"He does not have to set a foot in Asgard father, I will go to him. I will find him."
"Yes Thor, eventually you will, you will find Loki. Nevertheless, when you do he will have no memories of you, of Asgard. What will you do then, my son?" Thor grimaces, he doesn't like being called that anymore.
"For it does not matter. I will forge new ones."
A/N: So, I saw Thor about 2 months ago because of a friend, and let's just say it was completly better than what I was expecting. I ended up both loving Thor and Loki, there's just something so alluring to me about their relationship, I loved watching it play out in the movies and fanfiction. I believe I've read just about everything from this fandom. But I had no idea I would be writing this, I have an idea of where it's going but then I dont :) I know this chapter is really short, but its sorta like a teaser to get you guys all hooked in. I hoped you liked it. Please R&R!