Author's Note: This fic is based off that soulmate idea that I believe was first introduced by of-a-crescendo on LJ a while back with her lovely fic, "But With a Whimper". So, not an entirely original idea, but it is my take on it. You should all check out "But With a Whimper" because it is an amazing fic. Just google it.
This fic is going to be three or four parts. If I get carried on at the most five.
I hope you all like it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Fox does...and RIB
WORDS ON A CANVAS OF SKIN
"You're lucky," Rachel said, brushing imaginary dirt off of her notebook before placing it in her locker.
Kurt tilted his head to the side. "How so?"
"Well," Rachel said, "because you haven't found your soul mate yet, you don't have to deal with all the pain that they can cause you. I mean, look at me and Finn. Maybe…maybe it's better if you're older when you find each other…then, then you won't have the follies of your youth working against you."
Kurt eyed her for a moment and didn't say anything. He wanted to agree, to say happily that he didn't mind waiting for his "one" if it meant that he didn't go through all the drama that his friends who had found their "one", but he thought the whole soul mate thing was a bit of a gamble anyway. After all, his mom and dad had been soul mates – his dad still had the faint outline of her name on his right hand – but he'd gone on to remarry years after Elizabeth Hummel's death. And Carole, Carole actually had his father's name on her hand, and Kurt thought he'd seen hers on his dad's left hand even if it wasn't as clear as his mom's name had been once.
So, if the whole soul mate thing didn't really matter all that much anyway, he didn't understand why he couldn't have what everyone else around him had. Of course, Kurt knew that being gay and living in Ohio hardly gave him the chance to go on many dates, but still he couldn't help but hope that he'd meet a boy that could at least understand him.
"What are you fighting about now?" he asked after a long moment.
Rachel shrugged at him. "Not really anything important." But the way she closed her locker with a slam told Kurt it was something important.
"Is it New York again?" Kurt asked.
After sighing, Rachel nodded. "It's my dream," she said.
"Finn knows that."
Kurt tried not to take sides when Rachel and Finn got into one of their fights because for one, having Rachel on your side actually resulted in a peaceful life and for another, Finn was his stepbrother and it would make things as awkward as they had been when he and Carole had first moved in.
Rachel gripped the book she'd taken out tighter to her chest, "sometimes I wonder if he really does. It's like he thinks that I'll choose him if…if it ever comes down to it."
"And won't you?"
"I don't…I don't know." Rachel pursed her lips.
Kurt patted her arm in comfort. "Well," he said, "you have a whole year and the summer to still figure things out."
Rachel nodded. "But see, this is what I mean. You can go anywhere without having to consider that other person. You are free to do as you wish…and when you do meet him, finally, it'd be like finally going home after all that time."
But it also meant being alone. Kurt knew he had his friends and his family, but it wasn't the same thing.
They entered the choir room and Rachel drifted away to sit next to Finn. Finn grinned at her as if they weren't arguing and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
They would have been comical, if they weren't so in love and meant to be. Finn was big, tall and lanky, while Rachel was tiny standing even shorter than Kurt.
There were other soul bonded couples in New Directions, Tina and Mike who had gotten together without knowing they were soul mates and rarely fought; Brittany and Santana who had been best friends for longer than they had been together – though no one was actually sure they were; and Sam and Quinn who made a perfect blond couple who had just recently gotten together and were still in their honeymoon phase.
Kurt took his seat next to Mercedes. Mercedes hadn't found her soul mate either, but she wanted to wait, she genuinely liked being by herself and Kurt was glad to have someone that wasn't caught up in the drama of a relationship to hang out with.
"It'll happen when it happens and if that is tomorrow or in three years, or in two months, then I'll embrace it, but, I won't go looking for him," she'd told him once, when he asked. He wished he could feel the same way.
Mr. Shuester showed up a few minutes later, looking flustered. They all knew why. He was another example of why the whole soul mate thing couldn't be trusted. He'd married his high school sweetheart, whose name had been printed clearly on his hand. But one more morning, he woke to find that his wife's name was replaced by Ms. Pillsbury's, the guidance counselor. Now, Mr. Shue was divorced and dating Ms. Pilsbury. Divorce was rare but not unheard of and most people claimed that it was fate at work still.
Puck, who proclaimed for anyone to hear that he didn't believe the whole soul mate thing was real, had said something that Kurt still thought could be true:
"Maybe it has to do with love. You meet someone you have a connection with and of course their name appears, because you liked them…the potential for love, you know…and, and the names that are there before you meet them, they're like guidelines. Like someone saying, this could be someone that you can fall in love with but even if you don't meet them or, they pass away, it's not like they're your last hope."
Kurt tuned Mr. Shuester out to listen to Mercedes talking about a scarf she'd seen at the mall.
"It was very you, Kurt," she said.
They might have been friends, and Kurt could appreciate Mercedes' unique style, but he knew that she didn't have an eye for clothes that Kurt could deem worthy of wearing.
"Unless it is the Hermes scarf I've been lusting after for the last month and a half, I don't believe I'm interested."
Mercedes rolled her eyes good naturedly. "Well, when we go to the mall on Sunday, you'll have to see it for yourself."
Rachel got up suddenly, and Kurt slumped in his seat. This wasn't going to be good.
"We knew the strengths and failings of our competition last year," Rachel said, "and this year should be no different. So, I propose that we invite them and have a friendly competition." She clapped her hands, "who's with me?"
Finn stood up at once. "Yeah," he said, "we should totally invite them and see what they got."
"And of course," Rachel added, "show them what a real glee club should sound like."
Mr. Shue stepped forward. "I don't think," he began.
Rachel interrupted him, "we won't try to sabotage them or anything, Mr. Shuester. And this way, we won't have to send in a spy."
"Okay. Yes, fine, we can extend an invitation to—" he glanced down at the piece of paper he held, "—the Warblers and the Hipsters."
After the meeting, Kurt left with Mercedes.
"Do you think it's a good idea?" she asked, "this whole meeting the competition thing? I mean, it didn't really work out for us last year, did it?"
Kurt shrugged. "That was all Sue's doing and you know it. It could be interesting, I guess. I'm particularly looking forward to all these boys from Dalton." He and Mercedes shared a grin and Kurt added, "and, you know, Rachel's particular brand of crazy will be entertaining to witness."
"Always just like a train wreck…"
They stopped at his locker and Kurt got a book and notebook out. He was just turning to say something to Mercedes, when he was knocked into his locker. Dave Karofsky just smirked at him and kept on walking.
Kurt fixed his hair and shook his head. "Neanderthal," he muttered.
"You okay, Kurt?" Mercedes asked.
Kurt nodded. "Not like I'm not used to it."
She smiled sadly. "Now, he's someone that needs to find their mate," she said, "you know he'd be calmer if he ever did."
Kurt closed his locker and they continued on towards their English classroom, arms linked, and Kurt trying to ignore the sting on his shoulder which told him a bruise was already forming.
He'd been bullied for as long as he could remember, even before he'd admitted to anyone that he was gay. Bruises were something he was used to, but he still hated seeing his skin marred by the green and purple tints of a bruise.
Blaine Anderson was a romantic. He couldn't wait until he met his soul mate, because he knew that when he did, it would be magical, the greatest love that ever was. His best friends, Wes and David, laughed at him and told him often that it wasn't just going to work out that way.
Wes and David were soul bonded, but there weren't actually together which confused a lot of the girls they dated. They had known each other since the age of five, and had been attached at the hip since. Truth be told, they did love each other, but neither were interested in boys. Or so they both said, Blaine liked to believe otherwise.
"It's like me and Wes," David told Blaine, "we're heterosexual life partners and that is all we'll ever be, but that does not diminish that we are meant to be."
"It's about finding a person that can fit in your life," Wes added, "not necessarily romantic."
Blaine had wanted to argue, because despite everything they said, Wes and David might as well have been dating. He'd never met any other friends that set aside Tuesday nights for cuddling. Still, he let them go on with what they believed, watching as they dated girls in a not so serious manner, each of them lasting a week at most. Because hanging over every one of those relationships was the idea that those girls had their own mates out there somewhere.
So, despite the contradicting example right in front of him, Blaine wanted to believe that the slanted name written out along the palm of his right hand, just going into his thumb, was the name of the one and only person that he could ever truly love.
Wes and David were sprawled out on his bed, leaning into each other while Blaine sat at his desk.
"So, what did you two want anyway?" he asked and motioned towards the desk, "I have a paper due tomorrow."
"Seriously, tell Thad to help you out, you'll be done in no time," David said.
Wes nodded. "True story."
"He already got me all the books I need. But what is it?"
Wes lifted his head from David's shoulder. "We were hanging out with Nick and Jeff when I got a call down to the main office. Apparently Ms. Flitch had gotten an e-mail from a Will Shuester."
David reached into the pocket of Wes' pants and pulled out a folded piece of paper, which he extended towards Blaine.
Blaine had to get up to get it, but did so without complaint, unfolding it. His eyes scanned the paper.
"So, what, they want us to perform for them and for them to do the same for us?"
Wes nodded. "And we don't really know what we should do. I mean, it sounds like it could give us some advantage, but at the same time, it means we're letting them see what we can do early too."
"Where's Thad?" Blaine asked, rather than try and give them his opinion, "I'd think you guys would go to him about this considering he's on the council."
David rolled his eyes. "If the answer isn't in a book…"
"That's not true and you know it. Now, stop bothering me and go ask Thad what he thinks."
Wes shook his head, "first, what do you think we should do?"
They both sat up and David straightened the collar of Wes' shirt.
"I think that it'd be different to see our competition like this before sectionals and that we don't have to show them our best. Now, I'd appreciate it, if I could get back to my homework."
"But your bed is so comfortable," Wes said and let himself fall back onto it.
Blaine glared at him. "Fine, stay, just…just let me work on this paper."
When Blaine turned back to his desk and to his laptop, he heard Wes and David settle back down on his bed. He couldn't help but feel strange as he tried to work on the paper, knowing they were just behind him. It took them under five minutes to start talking, ruining any sort of concentration that Blaine had managed to achieve.
"You know what," he told them, "this isn't going to work. It's just weird, and I'll have you know that we all have the same beds and you have two very good ones in the room across the hall."
In general if two boys had somehow managed to be soul mates, administration wouldn't have let them be roommates, but somehow Wes and David had managed to convince someone that they needed to room together. It helped that they weren't actually in a relationship. Nick and Jeff who were also bonded and were in a romantic relationship, didn't share a room, but often slept in each other's room anyway.
"Fine," David said, "only because I know if you get this done tonight, we can do something awesome tomorrow."
"Like prepare to face New Directions," Wes added with a nod. "See you at dinner."
Blaine merely grunted and returned to his essay once more, but found that the concentration he'd had before was gone. He groaned. Seeing Wes and David act like such a couple always left him strange, jealous and longing for the day when he'd finally have someone like that for his own.
He opened one of the books Thad had handed him the night before and flipped through the table of contents for a while, but couldn't keep his eyes from looking at his hand and at the name. Somewhere in the world that boy could be looking down at a hand that had his name on it. And someday they'd meet and…well, Blaine didn't know what would happen, but he knew that he'd finally feel complete.
Kurt eyed the scarf that Mercedes had just handed him. It wasn't too horrible, even the material, something that wasn't a 100% cotton but still remained soft enough to maybe pass for 80%. And it was checkered purple, orange, and red, which worked well for some reason.
"So…" Mercedes said.
"Oh, fine. I'll take it."
Mercedes grinned triumphantly.
"But only," Kurt added, "because it'll go well with an outfit I've been trying to put together."
Mercedes rolled her eyes, "whatever you say, white boy."
He picked up a few more items that could spruce up other outfits and walked up to pay for them while Mercedes browsed around. He was too busy trying to decide if he did need another polka dotted bow tie as the cashier scanned the scarf, to notice that Mercedes had disappeared. But he did notice, once he'd handed the bow tie to the cashier and turned to find his best friend.
"Did you see where she went?" he asked the cashier, whose name tag read Linda.
Linda pointed towards the glass doors, but Mercedes was nowhere to be seen. Kurt handed Linda his debit card and waited while she charged everything and handed him a slip to sign. He did so quickly and grabbed his two bags.
"Thank you," he called back at Linda.
Mercedes wasn't just outside the store as Kurt had expected. He couldn't see her anywhere. He walked towards a bench and sat down before pulling out his phone to call her. She didn't answer. He tried again. Nothing. So, then, he texted her.
Where did you disappear to?
When he didn't receive a response within five minutes, he began to worry. Mercedes was never too far from her phone. He waited a while longer, but stood up and took his bags, headed for his car so he could at least drop that off before he went looking for Mercedes. For a moment he considered calling Rachel to help, but remembered she and Finn were out on a date and didn't want to be bothered unless it was truly necessary.
After fifteen minutes of searching, going to their favorite stores, Kurt saw her. She was sitting with a boy on one of the wooden benches and from where he was standing he could see they were holding hands. A mixture of feelings rose up. He was happy for her, but at the same time he felt jealousy. Why couldn't he just run into his mate like that? He rubbed at the hand on his hand, where could that boy be?
He pulled out his phone again:
I'm going to assume you can get your own ride home. I'm happy for you. Have fun. Tell me all the deets later.
Then he headed towards the parking lot with his bags. It was strange to think that Mercedes had just met that boy fifteen minutes ago and she was already so into him that she couldn't even answer her phone. It astounded Kurt. It wasn't always like that, he knew. Rachel and Finn had danced around each other for weeks until Rachel finally made a move. Kurt guessed it all really depended on the person.
When he got home, it was to find his dad watching TV in the living room.
"Hey, kiddo, thought you'd be home later, what happened?"
Kurt dropped his bags next to the door as he removed his jacket. "Mercedes found her mate," he said, "one minute she was behind me, next thing I know she's gone. Took me forever to find her and she was just sitting with this guy and so I figured I shouldn't bother her."
His father knew him better than to just leave it at that. "How are you feeling?"
Kurt sighed and walked around the couch to sit down next to his dad. "I don't know. I just, I know he's out there somewhere and Rachel says it could be good for me to not meet him yet, but I just…most of my friends are mated and I'm just a fifth wheel whenever we go out anymore."
His dad placed his hand on Kurt's knee. "It's your senior year, Kurt, next year you'll be in New York around new people in a city full of people like you and you'll not only fit in, but I'm almost sure that you'll find him and if not him then someone just as good. You know I don't really believe in all of this. Your mom meant the world to me and I will never stop loving her, and Carole is the most amazing woman I've ever met…love isn't easy, and it's not as straight forward as some name pre-written on your hand.
Kurt nodded. He knew all of this. He ran a thumb over the name that was written along his thumb.
"I should go put my things away," he muttered, getting up.
"I hope you didn't but out the whole store."
Kurt shook his head and before he left, his bags back in his arms, "thank you, dad."
He dared to glance at his hand once he was up in his room. The name Blaine Anderson ran towards his thumb carefully written, with sharp letters. Kurt liked to trace the letters and wonder if that name would be the only one he would ever have.
Blaine dropped into the seat across from Wes with his dinner which consisted of a chicken sandwich. The two boys were holding hands, as they sometimes did, while they ate. Blaine hated how casual they were about it. Their fingers were laced together and sometimes when one tried to pull away the other wouldn't let him. Blaine could see Wes' name on David's hand. It went around his index finger.
"Have you decided on a set list for this thing with the New Directions?" Blaine asked.
"Teenage Dream is going to be a must," David said, "it sounded amazing the other day at practice. And then, I don't know what else, but we should have two or three songs prepared."
Blaine bit into his sandwich. Earlier he'd looked up the New Directions on youtube to see if there were any performances uploaded there, but all he'd been pointed towards was grainy videos of a girl of about sixteen or seventeen who had an amazing voice. In the info section she'd put that she was the president of her Glee club the New Directions. But no group performances had been uploaded by other students, or even proud parents.
"I looked them up," Wes said, "they're apparently really good. They got up to regionals last year but they went against Vocal Adrenaline and lost."
Vocal Adrenaline was a sore subject to Wes and David. Last year before Blaine had transferred, they'd lost sectionals to them. Wes and David hated them and Jesse St. James who had been their soloist.
"So they're probably at our level," David continued on, "I think they went against that school for the deaf for their sectionals so…"
Blaine nodded and continued eating.
After dinner, Wes and David insisted that Blaine join them for a movie. Sometimes Blaine thought that they only asked him to hang out this way because they didn't want it to really be like a date. Still, Wes and David always sat really close together, cuddled up, their hands intertwined. But they never made Blaine feel like a third wheel. It was one of the reasons he loved his friends.
They were watching Star Trek which Blaine couldn't object because not only was it a flawless movie, but it also starred Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto and a combination of all those things made Blaine not even care that David had his head tucked into Wes' shoulder.
When the movie was over, Blaine excused himself by telling the two boys he still had homework to work on. Wes tried to protest, but Blaine left before he could.
At Dalton there weren't that many bonded couples, but that might have had something to do with it being an all-boy's school. It was still Ohio and although everyone made jokes that it was "gay Hogwarts" Blaine was only one of a handful of boys that considered themselves gay.
Blaine had been lucky to not have to take a roommate but that was only because he'd started late into the school year the year before and no one had been assigned to be his roommate when the school year began. His room still had an extra bed and desk and Blaine tried not to use the side of the room that wasn't technically his just in case someone did transfer in as he had done. Wes and David thought he was crazy and that he should just take advantage of it all.
His phone rang as Blaine was putting the books he'd need the next day into his bag and he grabbed it at once, grinning when his brother's warm smile greeted him on the screen.
"Hey, Coop," he said.
Cooper was about six years older than Blaine and he was Blaine's favorite person in the world and had been since Blaine was a child and he realized that his parents were never going to understand him.
In a world where your soul mate's name was already written on your hand by the time you were five years old, there was no reason for someone to come out of the closet, and his parents couldn't deny that Blaine was gay when they realized the name on his hand wasn't a girl's name. His dad had still tried to change it, to make Blaine get it surgically removed and have another name inked on. They did that, and Blaine had heard of other parents that had made kids go through that.
Cooper hadn't let it happen.
He'd hidden Blaine away and at twelve years old to let his dad near his little brother.
"You're not god!" he'd yelled, "you're not all powerful and all knowing and you can't take his fate away."
Ever since that moment Blaine had known that Cooper was the only family member that really truly cared about him. His mother hadn't tried to put a stop to it despite all her talk about fate and love.
"Hey, B, how are you?"
Cooper sounded happy, as he always did. But there was something more in his voice.
"Good. You? What happened?"
Through the phone he heard someone moving. Cooper wasn't alone.
"Coop, who's there?"
Cooper sighed and then, "I met her."
"Are you kidding? Oh my god, really?"
Cooped laughed. "I know, it's kind of unexpected but it happens like that sometimes and I'm just so happy and it happened this morning and I just – I wanted to tell you because you're my brother and I just – Blaine I'm so happy."
That was what Blaine wanted. He wanted to be so in love and happy to find that one person that would be his and just his alone.
"Well, I'm glad you found her. I want to meet her. But go on, go be with her. I can talk to you later."
"Sure. We're set something up, alright? And Blaine, your Kurt is out there. He's somewhere and when the time is right you'll meet and everything will change."
Blaine glanced down at his hand. Kurt Hummel's handwriting was kind of loopy, but perfect, and someday he would hold his hand and see his own name in his own horrible scribbles on Kurt's hand.
Author's Note: Hope you guys all liked this. The next part will be up as soon as possible, by the next week.
I'll probably have a preview of next part on my tumblr sometime, or more about when it'll be up. tumblr: emquin.
Thank you for reading.