Well Hello Ladies and Gents! Welcome back to the craziness that is the Bella Swan-Masen Trilogy! I'm so excited to post this you have no idea! Thanks for all of the favorites and alerts and reviews! You all are honestly amazing!

I really hope you all enjoy!

I wish I could mark this Humor/Family/Drama but I couldn't so just remember it's all three!

Standard Disclaimer Applies.


"Mommy?" I flipped over and attempted to snuggle into Edward, meeting only a pillow. A knee slammed into the back of my leg and the bed jiggled a bit before there was heavy breathing on my forehead. "Mommy?" A heavy hand came down on my cheek and my eyes shot open when the small hand begun to squeeze the skin there.

"Olivia?" She nodded and grinned at me. "Why are you trying to beat me up?" She cocked her head to the side and giggled.

She batted her large green eyes innocently. "I'm not trying to beat you up, silly. I just want to know if I can use your toothbrush."


She kinked a confused eyebrow. "But I gots school."

"What happened to your toothbrush?"

"I threw it away."


"I dropped it on the plunger." I wrinkled my nose.


"Tony clogged the potty." I sat up and pulled her into my lap, ready to pull teeth for these details.

"So how'd the toothbrush get on the toilet plunger?" She twirled her shoulder length brown hair around her fingers and furrowed her eyebrows.

"I dropped it in the potty, because Tony stinked up the bathroom." I narrowed my eyes and yawned. "Oh… never mind Mommy, you need your own toothbrush." She said pinching her nose closed.

"Yeah, yeah, I have a new toothbrush in the bathroom." She clapped happily and jumped off of my lap before darting to the bathroom. "Don't run." She nodded but didn't stop. The bedroom door shot open and Tony and Seth marched in.

"Hi, Mommy." Seth said softly as he headed into the bathroom, Tony bounced over to me and threw himself into my arms hugging me tightly.

"Will you make me breakfast, beautiful?" I lifted an eyebrow and kissed his nose.

"Beautiful?" He nodded and tapped my nose before winking, the little charmer.

"Sure, I thought Daddy was making breakfast."

"Daddy's a bum." He giggled.

"That's not nice or true."

"Sorry." He said unapologetically, before standing and pulling me out of bed. "I love you, Mommy." He threw in for good measure. I 'mhmm'ed and he pulled me towards the door.

"Don't make a mess in my bathroom!" I called over my shoulder there was a giggle from Olivia and then a metal clanging noise.

"Mommy is going to be pissed, O." Seth whispered loudly.

Olivia giggled before yelling, "Mommy! You need to get a new toothbrush…" I sighed and continued to let Tony drag me away.

"Mommy, can we get a puppy?"

"We already have one, Tony."


"I was thinking Daddy…" He frowned at me.

"Now that's not nice or true." He said sternly, mimicking my earlier words to a 'T'.

"Sorry." I smirked at him and he burst into giggles.

I rounded the corner of the kitchen where Ellie and Edward sat at the table, both fully dressed. Ellie was giving Edward one of her hormonal teenager glare's and Edward held up a finger as he read the paper in front of him.

Edward peeked up at her, "Keep looking at me like that and I will stick my finger up your nose, to here." He pointed to the bottom of his extended pointer finger with a lifted eyebrow and her eyes widened before she dissolved into laughter.

"What was that?" She asked between chuckles.

"I said the first thing that came to mind, don't judge me, child." He said after his laughter calmed. I smiled at them and looked over to the counter where a plate of absolutely charred looking pancakes sat. I groaned before noticing the windows and doors were open, to alleviate the wretched smell. I closed the side door as I passed and placed a kiss on the top of Ellie's head.

Edward stood when I stopped in front of his chair. "Okay, I tried making breakfast. But Ellie came in halfway through… so…" He looked at Ellie. "It's her fault. Good morning, beautiful." I rolled my eyes and he kissed my cheek. "Where's everybody else?"

"In our bathroom-" Seth came in with Olivia on his back, laughing her ass off. "Olivia dropped your toothbrushes on the plunger, Mommy." He said obviously trying to hold back laughter.


"She dropped the toothbrush holder on the ground and your toothbrushes hit the plunger." He said simply.

There's my sensible no-circle-talking little boy. The only one… but one's better than none.

"I'll get some after work." Edward sighed before plopping back into his chair heavily. I looked at the clock and my eyes widened.

"Ellie, you have ten minutes before school starts, honey." She stood and almost knocked over her chair trying to run for the door. "Edward, could you-?" He nodded and stood again coming up behind me and grabbing the keys off of the hook over the sink.

"Of course. Love you." He smacked a wet kiss on my cheek and I chuckled before he ran off to avoid a hormonal onslaught from Ellie.

"Okay, the rest of you take a seat." The sound of chairs squealing against the floor rang out as I made three bowls of cereal, placing them in front of the kids.

Olivia grabbed my hand and held me in place, "I'll eat but we have to hurry. I don't want to be late. We only have one more week."

"I know."

"If I'm late they might make school go longer." She said before shoveling food into her little mouth.

"I doubt it, honey."

"They don't like you that much, O." Tony grumbled.

My side door shot open and in popped a mini-Alice in boy form, Blake Oswald Whitlock.

Of course Oswald was Jasper's idea.

"Hi, Aunt Bella." He drawled in an ugly fake accent.

"Bowie." He grinned and ran over to hug my legs before going to sit in a chair next to Olivia, who turned up her nose and scooted away.

"Come on, Baby. Don't be like that." He winked at Olivia and Seth grabbed his chair legs, pulling the little flirt away from his baby sister. Anthony just sat there humming happily to himself. Alice appeared at my side about a second later, scarring the shit out of me.

"Guess what that one did yesterday." She said folding her arms over her chest. "His teacher was amazed at how much we looked alike. I mean duh I'm his mother…" She rolled her eyes and dug her hand into the cereal box on my counter. "He rolled his eyes and denied it." She said jerking her head towards the little boy.

"Okay…" I rolled my eyes. He was a boy, why would any boy want to look like a woman? "So…"

"So I said 'Uh yeah he does, he came out of my vagina'." She enunciated every syllable of Vagina harshly, rolled her neck and I fell into laughter.

"To him?"

"To the teacher." I shook my head waiting for something akin to 'then I was kicked off the property'.

"The best thing was that I was only banned for a week, well the rest of the school year… but that's a week. So… Thanks for carpooling dear. Saving the environment and whatnot." She kissed my cheek and skipped on out the door.

I turned to Bowie. A four foot little ball of energy. He was Alice Whitlock, his energy, his personality, his face…. The only part of Jasper he had was those outbursts of random shit… and half of his chromosomes…

But I digress.

"Finish eating and then off to the car everybody." I mumbled before searching for my keys.

The kids scrambled into the car, buckling seatbelts and fumbling over backpacks. A few minutes later I was dropping of kids, running from classroom to classroom, before returning to the car.

I let out a deep sigh; the roughest part of my day was over.

Only another week of this…

"Aunt B?" I jumped at Bowie's voice, and turned around with a groan.

"You don't go to this school do you?"


Never mind.


I Hope you laughed and or enjoyed!

Cockerspanmom did you see what I did there? Blake Oswald Whitlock. Bowie ;)

I'm sorry for the extremely long wait, but I was crazy busy and I hope this was worth the wait!

Review! My goal for this story is 1000 so it'd mean a lot to me if you all could help me get there!

Let's aim for thirty five reviews?