Prelude. In Which Eeyore Argues with the Author
"Hello Eeyore." Eeyore stood up from his gloomy place annoyed. "Oh bother. I was hoping I would find peace in this spot. Guess it is my fault for wanting a little peace and quiet. I was just being in my own little dreary part of the forest when you came along."
"I expected as much."
"Hmm, I was worried you were Tigger at first with his bounciness, but I don't seem to be bounced, but I could be wrong. Do you bounce people not-Tigger?"
"No. I can't say I do." Eeyore just continued looking down.
"So you must be Pooh. I see no good came of your bouncing lessons with Kanga, or perhaps it did because they have kept you from bouncing me. Now that I told you that it will probably happen. Serves me right for talking to someone on there way to someone else."
"But Eeyore, I came to talk to you. Although you are wrong because I am not Pooh."
"So Owl, why did you leave the Wolery at this time of year because it is so dreadfully cold this winter? I must be wrong. How like me. Rabbit would travel to see his myriad of friends and relations. No one comes to see me."
"Well, I'm the author."
"Impossible A.A. Milne is gone."
"Fine, I am the new author."
"David Benedictus was the new author. Why didn't he just let me be alone? I was actually happy with the end believe it or not, and then he added more, but you are not David Benedictus."
"So who are you."
"Well I am the next Author."
"Ah, I see. That explains everything. I remember Christopher telling me how he cleaned and was given money by his parents. He was always proud to show his work. You must be trying to get more money. I suppose you have grown tired of cleaning for your change."
"I highly doubt that this will make much money."
"Doubt you say. Well, I am not needed. You take my time and you don't even need me. I can see I have already taught you what I can. Why are you still here?"
"Well, like your first author, I want freedom to write whatever I choose, and I choose to write about you, pooh, piglet, and the rest."
"Another copycat. Why can't you just let a good work rest in peace. Haven't those Americans across the channel trifled with this story enough?"
"Well I am no copycat, but I am an American."
"Oh Eeeyore. I think there are still more stories to be told about you yet."
"I am forced to be controlled by a copycat. Well I suppose that is what happens. I should have known since I wasn't bounced that it would be worse."
"I don't really consider myself a copycat. Inspired perhaps by great works of the past, but I don't intend on just copying what was already made."
"Didn't David Benedictus start his book with a conversation with me? I still see you as a copier."
"Again, I am inspired by good ideas. However, I haven't even read that book so I can't copy what I haven't read."
"Well good luck with it. Not that my saying good luck will mean much. You'll probably mess it up and get a lot of people mad at you. Not that it is any of my concern."
"Eeyore, even if you are right, I still will have a wonderful time writing these stories."
"At least you aren't going to use any of those characters Disney has made."