Hey guys. Sorry for the late update today. My internet completely FUCKED UP and I could not get on all afternoon...anyway, it's working now...at least long enough for me to get this up. Here are replies to yesterday's reviews.
Reldor: *holds out champagne glass* Don't go too far away, my friend ;) See ya around!
Nerd Next Door: Thanks :) I might do that too. Sounds cool, although I've never seen Ailien.
Zack Letor: Don't cry :'( I will write more :) Thanks for reading!
Laughingcookie96: Yes, I love Kovu's face in the movie after Zira dies, but even there they don't show enough emotion. Come on! Kovu loved his mother! Haha, glad you noticed the poliece part. Since I've contemplated running away from home before, I know what the laws about it are, and in some states it really is in your best interest to tell the poliece before you for all the other comments/compliments. I'll miss your reviews :'( *hugs back*
Hatari the Hyena: lol that's a conicidence. Thanks for reading. I'll still be around on ff so you can keep sending me your stuff ;P
Starzinmieyez: lol that's how I felt when I was typing it. Glad you liked it so much XD Please do check back sometime!
Kora22: Really? Thanks :D Please do come back! Thanks for reading!
KatTheBard: Thank you :3 I'll deffinetely need the time. I can't rush writing. Lol, I love the little sene!
Lew leon: I'm glad you found a story you liked! Please check up on my page occasionally in the future if you want to read more! As for the whole review response thing, I'm completely copied that idea from The Devil's Advocate. Otherwise I never would've thought to do that. Lol about Ramone, he is based off my old best friend. Last year, my two closest friends were suicidal (we were not in the cool crowd if you hadn't guessed) And there really are high school students here who are that dumb. I never had thought about them going by ship. I guess it's because Kovu has a car so they can just drive to the boarder then hop trains. Lol, the scene was also hilarious. Thanks for all the great reviews. I'll miss it.
Crystal991: Sorry about your day :( That sounds really stressful. Hope things get better for you, and I'm glad I could help make you feel better last night. Makes me feel purposeful :) Sorry it had to end on a cliffhanger. I just hate those "happily ever after" endings. Thanks for all your reviews!
Kblade: Thanks :D I hope to cover all that in the sequel, but also give it its own plot. Thanks for the great review! :)
Alright, so the way I wrote that story was a little weird. I started by writing a bunch of individual, disjoited scemes with little actual plot in mind. It was just for fun on nights when I didn't feel like sleeping or working on my other novel. I never really planned to make it into a complete story. Over time, a paralell plot began evolving in my mind. It took a long time for the ideas to get clear. My origional ideas were much different than what the story actually turned out to be. As the story line evolved, there were some scenes that simply did not fit into it. I have about twenty pages of "deleted scenes" on my computer. I will share a few of the good ones with you, since I hate to see them go to waste.
This is what my unpolished writing looks like. These are not edited or spell checked. Now you can see that I'm really not that great; it's just because I edit my work like 200 times.
Also, this is like...really long, so don't feel like you have to read all of it if you don't want to.
Deleted Scene 1, Closing the school
This first scene was one I wrote very early on. When I wrote this, PRSA was a public school in the rich part of town. Rouge River was on the other side of town and was closing due to financial deficit (which was how Kovu got into PRSA). Here, Kiara and Zoe are discussing the whole deal. The second part shows Kovu at his old school, how he is there, and what he thinks of the new arrangement.
"Kiara!" shouted Zoe from across the lunchroom. 16 year old Kiara looked around and located her best friend. She was sitting with some of the other girls who were seniors in government class. Kiara ran over and gave her white tiger friend a big hug, then sat down. "Kiara, did you hear?" exclaimed Zoe.
"Hear what?" asked Kiara as she put ketchup on her fries.
"They passed the new budget to close down the Rouge River High School! Mari told me all about it!"
"That's great!" said Kiara, "I wonder why it took so long."
"Well, there were a lot opposed to the new budget. But really, half the students there are the lazy kids on welfare. They don't pay near enough taxes to support their school. Basically, what was happening, was families like yours and mine...good families with needs, were paying to send them to school! With the new budget, we should see some major tax cuts!"
Kiara looked up at the cealing, "Thank you, ancestors!" she exclaimed jokingly.
"I'm real excited too. My mom told me I couldn't get a phone plan upgrade untill they cut taxes. I've been waiting for almost a year now." Zoe rolled her eyes.
"What's happening to all the students from there?"
"Most of them are being shipped off to Sandstone High. A few are coming here. It's a small minimum though. They drew a line across the county to determine who would go where."
"I'm just glad we're getting less than half." said Kiara relieved.
"I know." replied Zoe, "A lot of the parents here were really worried about that. It's hard to know what to do with all those outsider kids. It's like, we don't want the burden of paying to run their school, but we also can't have them all coming in here. It just wouldn't be safe! Haven't you heard of all the trouble that goes on there?"
"I heard they have fights every day. Half the girls get pregnant. They all smoke, drink,..sell drugs."
"My dad was reluctant to close the school." said Kiara, "He'd talk about it almost every night. He said no respectable child should have to forced to go to a school with dangerous criminals who have no respect for anyone."
"So your dad didn't mind the extra taxes?" replied Zoe, munching on her salid.
"He said the safety of their community and his children was too much to give up just for extra money...I know we need it. I mean, I really want a new car when I get my licence. Right now all I have is a 2002 Ford."
Zoe laughed, "You wouldn't want to let people see you get out of it!" she said, "But can't your dad just give you a car, I mean, he's could afford it, couldn't he?"
"Yeah" said Kiara, "I'm hoping he'll buy me one, but I know he wants to upgrade our security system too and that's expensive."
"But I guess it would be necessary. I mean, we're probably going to have at least a couple hundred outsiders invading our school next year. Those are the kinds of guys who would look up a girl and stalk her…especially a pretty lioness like you."
Kiara giggled. "Well personally, I could do without the extra security system. I mean, we already have one with alarms on every door and window. Really, what else do we need?"
"Well...now days some people can disarm security systems from a laser or laptop. You need gadgets with a special laser gaurd. That's probably what your dad wants."
Kiara nodded, "But really, I have been driven through some of the trailer parks and lower places and I really can't see those people as the type who would own laptops. Just saying."
"Kiara, I'm just concerned. I like our safe, happy school. I don't want to go into the bathrooms and see some black panther dressed in black rags and with rings stuck in every part of her body! I bet they never take showers either. Just think of all the germs and sickness we'll be putting up with! Most of them would look at a trash can like it was some foreign practice…I mean, they always just throw their crap on the floor. I'm so mixed about it. I'm glad we'll have money again, but I'm worried about all the outsiders coming here. I'm afraid of our school getting trashed."
Kiara put her paw on Zoe's shoulder "Well that's why it took so long to pass then. I bet all the parents and everyone in the PTA were mixed about it too. It's hard when you have to share your town with so many discusting lower class people."
Class was dismissed early at the Old River high school. Everyone was talking about the administrative meeting. Kovu sat in the back of the classroom with his arms crossed. He was bored. He hated the question-answer time. Kovu never had a question and he usually thought everyone's questions were stupid. Earlier in the day his art teacher had given him a brand new skctchbook and Kovu was working on his first drawing. It was only a small black hard-bound book. For Kovu it was the best thing he'd had.
"Kovu!" he heard his science teacher calling on him. "Why aren't you listening?"
Kovu looked up, "I'm listening!" he replied.
"Oh really?" said the teacher raising her eyebrow, "So what do you think about the question Brett just asked?"
Most of the class was giggling, including Brett.
Kovu gave a small snarl, "I think it was a very stupid question." he said confidently.
The class laughed out loud.
"Good." said the teacher smiling, "I guess you were listening."
"All the questions are stupid." muttered Kovu, not even knowing what Brett had asked. He put his attention back on the tiger he was sketching.
Suddenly he felt Brett lean up close to him, "So Kovu,"
Kovu nodded grouchily to at least pretend he was listening.
"Do you know if small cats reproduce the same way as we do?"
"Oh my god, no!" muttered Kovu sarcastically, "Whadda ya think I am? A biology teacher? Go ask Mr. Chanler...No, go ask Mrs. Mandy, the preschool teacher. She'd be happy to tell you all about it."
Brett looked down on Kovu's sketchbook. "Did you draw that?"
"That's like...amazing. I like...can't even draw a lame stick figure."
Kovu nodded again. "As if I should be surprised." He thought to himself.
"So how do you do it...Like...what should I start drawing on that's easy but...you know...a small challange?"
"Try sketching an aomeba." said Kovu
"What the fuck is an aomeba?"
"Life in it's second simplest form."
"What's the simplest, Wise guy?" retorted Brett.
Kovu just stared at Brett for a second then turned back to his sketching.
The final bell rang just as he finished the final shading on the gothic cross necklace. Kovu grumbled about the upcoming meeting and put his sketchbook into his old, worn-out backpack. The same one he'd gotten five years ago at the thrift store. The right strap was broken so he had to use only the left one and then hold it with his paw to keep it stable. Kovu walked to the meeting hall alone. In all the years he'd gone to the school he still kept to a minimal group of friends; shallow ones at that. He was by himself most of the time, but he didn't feel bad about it. There were lots of loners at Rouge River High. It was a common and accepted thing.
The school was falling apart. There was graffiti on everything and all the sidewalks had grass growing in them. The basketball hoops had no nets, but who need a net anyway? That's the way everyone saw it. The grass was dead. They hadn't purchased books in years. The students often complained about it, although most of them were pretty low income themselves. Kovu didn't really mind the bad condition of the place; it was at least better and cleaner than his own house.
The whole school was pretty low-standard. Many of them were heavy smokers and drinkers. There was a lot of drug dealing going on. Kovu's brother, Nuka was still involved in the selling of alcohol and illegal drugs secretly to the high schoolers. There were many hyenas in the school too. They were just as accepted as anyone and often intermingled with the other lions and tigers and panthers. Two of Kovu's friends were hyenas. There was some bullying, but the friendly kids outnumbered the bullys so much that nobody really cared.
Kovu took his normal seat, alone in the very back of the meeting room. He flipped out his sketchbook again in case the meeting was boring. The school superintendant got up onto the stage and began speaking.
"I want everyone to listen up!" he shouted, "This is a very important meeting."
"Oh yeah." thought Kovu, "Too much chatting in class...big deal. Bitches will be bitches."
"This is sad news that you will not want to hear..." he continued.
"Oh...so somebody got shot...or maybe killed in a drunk-driving accident. Whoever it was this school is no less without him."
"Students...I regret to inform you that...due to circumstances beyond our control...our part of town has taken major budget cuts again."
Kovu scoffed. "The roads haven't been repaired for a decade. The poliece went two years ago, street lights went last year. What more can they take?"
"I-I'm afraid that our school is being shut down..." he said sadly.
"I should've known." Thought Kovu.
"The administration has been fighting for you guys for years now. But this year, the new budget plan was finally put into action. As you all well know, our community has long been in a state of econimic depression. We do not have enough taxpayers to keep us open. The taxpayers from the surrounding communities have decided they no longer want to support us. So they have drawn a line. Most of you will be going to Sandstone High, and then a few of you will go to Pridelands Spirit Academy."
At the mention of PSA there was an uproar of laughing, scoffing, and cursing. Everyone there hated PSA.
Deleted Scene 2, Kovu gets bullied
I could've easily fit this into the plot of the story. I took it out after further developing Kovu's character. Since I had already established the fact that PRSA was a school full of assholes, I didn't feel this scene was necessary. It also makes Kovu look like a pussy, which I did not want. I realized he probably would not be the type to get bullied anyway. Kids who get bullied usually get bullied for a reason, and besides being extremely quiet, Kovu doesn't really have a reason to be bullied.
It was lunch time. Kovu was sitting with his only two friends, James and Ramone, both considered 'low-down socially', when he felt someone nervously tapping him on the shoulder. He looked up. He was surprised to see that it was Kiara. Immediately, Kovu's two friends got up and left. "Probably to go masturbate" he thought, annoyed. "And they have to leave me alone just now!"
"Um...Kovu..." she said apprehensively.
"What do you want?" he asked, annoyed.
"M-my friends found this laying in a desk...I believe it belongs to you." she handed him his precious black sketchbook.
Kovu growled. His eyes suddenly widened with horror as he flipped through the pages. All of his pictures had been ruined! Someone had gone through his whole sketchbook and crudely scribbled sexual images on almost every page. His breath became deeper and his face grew hot with anger.
"Did you do this?" he muttered.
"No" replied Kiara, shaking her head. "I-it was Dakota. I saw them...Zoe showed it to him in fourth period. At first I didn't know what they were doing. All I saw was her handing it to him. He took out his red sharpie and did it on every page..."
Kovu flipped through to where he had drawn his favorite singer, the famous white tiger named Amy Lee. It was one of the best pictures he had drawn. He had spent hours with his mechanical pencil making sure that every hair on her body was in the right place and that her eyes showed even more expression than the magazine picture he was using for reference. Dakota had crudely scribbled sunglasses over her. He had drawn giant boobs on her (of unequal size). And he had put a conversation bubble above it that read, "Go fuck yourself, you emo son of a bitch cuz you know you'll never have a hot chick like me to fuck with you! ;p"
"Dakota passed it around the classroom when Mrs. Beantly wasn't looking. Some of them laughed but most of them just looked horrified. I'm so sorry. I swear I would've stopped him if I'd known!"
Kovu could feel tears coming as all his masterpieces had just been trashed. He quickly tried to shake them away before anyone saw.
"I think they're all beuatiful." said Kiara. "I mean, I knew you could draw, but God, you're amazing. Like, you're even better than Kiba. Much better! You've gotta be the best artist in the whole school and nobody even knows you! Your pictures look like photos! I knew right away that was Amy Lee even with the sunglasses.
Kovu sighed. "You people are so cruel." He grapped a stack of drawings and ripped them right down the middle.
"You people!" exclaimed Kiara, "I am not one of them!And what are you...Oh my God, don't rip that up! It took you hundreds of hours to make all..."
"It's ruined, okay!" said Kovu firmly. As he crumpled two dozen works in his paw and tossed them into the trash can across the aisle. "And...that was my only sketchbook...a gift from my art teacher..." He sighed again. "Mrs. Whitfield, dear old woman."
Kiara put her paw on his shoulder, "Hey, do you want me to tell my dad about this."
"What's the use." replied Kovu, "Dakota would just lie anyway."
"Don't worry about it, okay. It's destroyed. Nothing can change that." Somehow Kovu kept an even tone as he said this. His anger was still apparent as he ripped the front and back cover off his sketchbook and placed them in the pile with his lunch trash.
Kiara stood there awkwardly for a few seconds untill one of her friends called her from across the lunchroom. "Well...gotta go!" she said with a nervous giggle.
"See you around." grunted Kovu as he crossed his arms, "And...thanks for returning it."
"Oh, you're welcome." replied Kiara as she walked back to her circle of friends, leaving Kovu alone at the table. He took out his literature book so he could pretend to study. What he really needed was some time to think. At three minutes till the bell, Ramone, the tiger came plodding back over and slumped down across from Kovu. He appeared slightly sweaty and flustered. Kovu knew at once that his earlier suspicions were correct, but said nothing about it.
"So," he said at last, "what was that little rich ass bitch doin talkin to a sensible, realistic guy like you?"
Kovu shoved the remains of his beloved sketchbook twored his friend.
"Holy shit!" he exclaimed, "And they wonder why we hate them!"
"She didn't do it." replied Kovu cooly, "She said it was Dakota."
"I wouldn't piss on that son of a bitch if he was on fire!" exclaimed Ramone. "Are you sure Little Miss 'Look at my Sexy Ass' wasn't just shiftin the blame?"
Kovu shrugged. "She seemed nice. In a fake rich girl way, but I still doubt she'd do somthing like that. Dakota, on the other paw..."
"Yeah..." replied Ramone. "And how he remains the most popular guy in the junior class, I have yet to find out."
"It's because most everybody's an asshole like him." replied Kovu.
"I have a great idea. Let's kill him!" said Ramone.
"Sorry, I'm not all that...violent natured. But, if you want to kill him, I'm all for it."
Finally 12:35 rolled around and the bell went off.
"Only three more periods to survive today." said Ramone.
"Guess what?" replied Kovu teasingly, "...It's only Monday. And...we have a two hundred point test in Mrs. Carsa's class Friday!"
"What the fuck, I'm failing anyway." said Ramone, "I think I'll just sit out these last periods in the bathroom...where it's safe, and quiet, and..."
Kovu scowled "How many rounds of ball juice ya think ya got left?"
Ramone grinned as he unzipped his backpack and showed Kovu the top corner of a brand new, one inch thick porn magazine.
"Where the hell did you get that? You ain't got no money!"
"I stole it from Dakota's locker before I went to the bathroom. I can let you borrow it tomorrow if you want?"
"Um, no thanks...I don't do porn that much anymore; and if I ever do need it, my brother has a whole library's worth stuffed in his mattress, but thanks anyway. I gotta go to class now."
Just then the bell rang, indicating the start of fifth period. "Aw, shit. I'm tardy" grumbled Kovu as he trudged to his locker. Normally he was never late for class since he rarely had anybody to talk to. It was very rare for him to get into even two conversations in such a short time.
Deleted Scene 3, Kiara gets thrown out of her group
This next scene was one of my early attempts at putting Kovu and Kiara together. I had not yet thought of the fire rescue scene. I was planning to put the characters in an amusement park, hoping I could think of something there that Kovu's family could set up to put Kiara in danger. Of course later I asked myself, "Why couldn't the rescue just be an accident?" Another thing I should explain, is that Simba was originally not the administrator of a private academy, but the owner of a car factory. (stupid, I know)
Kovu was eating his ramen noodles when he saw Kiara walking up the aisle, in a very bad mood. In fact, she looked close to tears. She was carrying a tray of food and scanning every table for a place to sit. After scanning for several whole minutes, she finally began tword Kovu's table. Others called it "The emo table" or "the looser table". Kovu looked down and pretended not to see her.
"Hey...Kovu..." he felt a claw tapping on his shoulder. He turned his face up and skowled.
"M-mind if I sit h-here?" she asked, followed by an awkward giggle.
Kovu shrugged shortly and continued his meal in silence.
"...Thanks." she whispered.
James and Ramone just stared awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Kiara turned and looked back. As she did, James snatched two fries off her tray unnoticed. None of them could afford to buy lunches so to them, cafeteria food was like gold. There was then silence at their table for several minutes. For Kovu and his friends, this was completely normal and they thought nothing of it. Since they were all antisocial or at least quiet-natured, they rarely had anything to say besides the occasional, "You gonna finish that?" For Kiara, on the other hand, this was uncomfortable as things got. She had come from a social oriented circle of friends where after five seconds of silence they would burst out laughing because of how awkward it was. Finally, Kovu spoke up.
"So..." he said, "I couldn't help but be curious about why someone as popular and cool as you would reduce yourself to one of us for a day?"
Kiara looked down and sighed, "My friend group just kicked me out." she said, about to cry.
"Really, why?" asked Kovu.
"My dad...he...he fired Zoe and Kiba. They were constantly texting when they were supposed to be working and he said they weren't being good workers. Kiba asked me how he found out and I just shrugged. She said she saw me tell my dad about them and that she hated me. Then, she posted on facebook that I was a big bitch and I had just betrayed all of them and made them lose their jobs! The comments she got..." Kiara folded her arms on the table and laid her head on them, crying. All the people who I thought were my best friends...they were liking it and leaving comments like, "stupid rich kid" and "no shock. I've always hated her. I hope she dies in a fire." Today at lunch they told me I couldn't sit with them untill I talked to my dad and got their jobs back."
Kovu chuckled slightly, "I told you...everyone's fake around here. That's the trouble with rich kids."
Kiara put her head up, "Stop blaming me for being rich! I can't help if I was born that way! If I could change it now, I'd live in the trailer park, I hate being Simba's daughter! I hate getting everything for free! I hate being hated for things beyond my controll!"
Kovu put his paw on her shoulder, "Hey, it's not so bad once you get used to it! And it's really not as bad as you think. Everyone says they hate you because they're jealous of you."
"I don't care if they're jealous!" cried Kiara, "I just don't want to be hated. And yes, it is bad. We used to all go to Frontline America every month. Kiba's mom would take us." Kiara sobbed again, "Kiba and I always rode the roller coasters together! She said I was never her friend in the first place and that she was only pretending to be my friend because it gave her status. She said that I couldn't come anyway because Zoe wanted to bring Dakota!"
"When are they going?" asked Ramone, speaking up for the first time.
"Saturday." replied Kiara.
Kovu scratched his chest nervously then cleared his throat. "Um...Kiara?"
"We could maybe take you...We were planning to go there anyway this Saturday." He looked across the table at his friend to get him to play along. He was afraid Ramone wouldn't get the hint, but for once in his life Ramone actually did somthing right and nodded.
"Yep, we've been plannin it for weeks. We wanna go see the Hollywood Undead concert."
Kovu nodded back.
"You can still hang out with your friends. But if a ride's all you need, we've got extra room.
"Um...well...that's nice of you to offer, but...my dad may not let me go with you guys..."
"Always do what Daddy says?" taunted Kovu. He skowled a little to show his annoyance, "Just tell him you're going with Kiba's family."
"Alright alright!" said Kiara. I still don't trust you, but right now I really care about this. If I'm not there I know they'll just talk bad about me the whole time. There was another girl they got mad at. She left them, and they started talking bad about her."
Kovu rolled his eyes. "typical of girls" he muttered under his breath.
"But maybe all is not lost. I'm hoping that if I'm there it might give me time to explain that..."
"Yeah, that's great." said Kovu, clearly uninterested in her girl dramma. "So you'll be there?"
"Yes" replied Kiara earnestly. Now this isn't some rape plot, is it?"
"Of course not" said Kovu and Ramone at once.
"Meet me in the trailer park entrance at 7:00 Saturday morning," said Kovu. "It takes three hours to get there, right?"
"Good, we'll be there when it opens." said Kovu. Just then the bell rang.
"I have to go to class!" said Kiara, "If I don't talk to you tomorrow, I'll see you guys Saturday!"
Kovu chuckled quietly, "I'll look foward to it."
Kiara picked up her tray and ran back to try and reason with her friends again.
"Well, Kovu...you've got some explaining to do." said Ramone after the lioness was beyond earshot.
"Remember when I told you about my mother?"
"No" replied Ramone, laughing innocently.
Kovu lowered his voice to a whisper in case someone else was listening. "She wants me to overthrow Mufasa Enterprise someday to avenge the death of Scar and bring our family back to power."
"Oh..." said Ramone not really caring, "Now I remember. But what does this have to do with that?"
Kovu thought for a moment, "Kiara is Simba's daughter, right?"
Ramone shrugged, "Yeah...sure, I don't even know who Simba is."
Kovu looked at his pathetic excuse for a friend, "You say you don't even know who Simba is?"
Ramone laughed and shook his head.
"He's only the big guy who sits on his ass the whole day and runs the whole fucked up town! He's the reason why the trailer park is so big, and why everyone but a select few are so fucking poor! I tell you, it's not because we're all stupid and lazy, it's because he is!"
Ramone just scoffed.
"All evidence to the contrary" muttered Kovu to himself.
"Look, Bro, all I wanted to know is why in hell you'd go so out of your way to do somthing so not you. You just invited that bitch to go to an amusement park with you!...And you never even talk to a single one of them! Why did you do it?"
"It's part of my plan." he said.
"What plan?" muttered Ramone.
"The one I made up just now." replied Kovu, "And the only reason I even bother telling you is because I might need you to help me."
Ramone shrugged again.
"Okay, so my origional plan was to somehow get hired by Mufasa Enterprise."
Ramone laughed. If he'd had any drink in his mouth, he would have surely sprayed it clear across the cafeteria.
"Yeah...I know, really. I have the list of up front requirements for highschool students right here." He pulled a crumpled sheet of paper from his backpack and started reading, "Must have minimum GPA of 4.5: Got that...Must have valid drier's licence...I still need that...must have no criminal record in family..." Kovu whistled, "Damn...that's a hard one."
"I still don't see where the bitch comes into all this..."
Suddenly the bell rang.
"Sorry, I have got to go." said Kovu, "After school?"
Romone shook his head, "Just tell me what to do Saturday."
"But...I'll already have her when I pick you up..."
"We'll pass notes or somthing."
"But you can't write legibly."
"Just shut up and go to class, you. Nobody's fuckin perfect!"
Deleted Scene 4, Zira's plot
My original goal with this book was to somehow include every single word of script from the movie in the exact same order. I still managed to get most of them in there, but as my own ideas developed further, I realized there were some scenes and parts of the movie that would not translate well to an anthro story. (some aspects of the movie are just plain stupid anyway) I.e. In an early chapter, after Kovu has met Kiara as a cub, he goes back with his mother and she makes up the plan for his life right there on the spot. I thought that was stupid, so I decided I would cut the conversation part way, and pick it up again when Kovu was older. This only led me to more plotholes. I decided it would be better to focus on story rather than following the movie exactly. This is one of those scenes I cut for that reason.
Kovu and Vitani were sitting at the kitchen table doing homework when they heard their mother pull in. Both loins went out to greet her at the door as always. Zira stomped in and slammed the door behind her as usual. She was not as drunk tonight as sometimes, but her temper was still snappy as usual.
"Hi, Mother!" exclaimed Vitani.
Zira just growled and floped down onto the old stained couch, which creaked and sunk down deep under her weight. Not that she was fat, but the couch was just so old that it had no support at all left in it.
"Good evening, Mother." said Kovu politely.
Vitani gave Kovu a look, then she looked back at Zira. "Mother," she began, "You'll never geuss what I saw at school today..."
"I'm suprised you failed to geuss that I am in a very bad mood and couldn't possibly care less about what you saw at school today." grumbled Zira.
"Oh, I think you'll care. You see, I saw Kovu sitting with Simba's daughter at lunch today!"
Kovu looked at her shocked.
"What!" roared Zira. She jumped out of the couch and looking as if she intended to kill Kovu.
"M-Mother, i-if I can explain..."
"What were you thinking? You thought you'd get to the daughter and Simba would welcome you with open arms?"
Kovu nodded sheepishly.
"What an idea." she scoffed. But then she froze and thought for a minute. "What...an...idea!" she exclaimed, "Why you brilliant child!" she said, rubbing his shoulders and hugging him close to her, somthing she rarely did to her children.
"I'm so proud of you." she said as she combed her claws through his full black mane, "You have the same coniving mind that made Scar so...powerful!"
Deleted Scene 5, my failed attempt at writing Kovu/Kiara fluff
As you might know, the relationship was by far the most difficult aspect to write. I put it off till last and even after I had finished everything else, I still had no idea how Kovu and Kiara could possibly fall in love, due to their conflicting personality types. I decided to take a shot in the dark and start somewhere in the middle, hoping to develop it off this. Epic Fail. The second scene of this I was more reluctant to cut, because it has cute Vitani/Kovu conversation. Vitani explains to Kovu how to be more appealing to girls (but only girls like herself) I had to cut it once I had the story in order because Kovu and Kiara do not fall for each other until after Vitani and Zira are out of the picture.
Kiara reached up and nuzzled Kovu.
"I love you, Kovu" she whispered.
"I...love you...too" replied Kovu somewhat apprehensively, although still sincere. "Really, I do...It's just..."
"Kovu, what's wrong?"
Kovu stepped away. "Nothing", he replied shortly.
"Kovu? You can tell me!"
"It's just that my whole life...I've been trained to...oh...nothing. I gotta go."
"Kovu...wait..." Kiara's eyes narrowed and she looked hurt. Kovu looked back apolitically but continued to walk away. As he was getting into his car he heard a weird voice.
"And just where do you think you are going?"
"Huh...nowhere..." replied Kovu nervously.
"You think I was talking ta you?" asked the voice.
Kovu looked up and saw a lion who had been arguing with his friend.
"Get lost, ya little moron" he sneered.
Kovu expected to be home alone when he arrived. He was pleased to see his sister when he stepped in. "Hey, Vitani." he said. "Whatcha watching?"
"The Price is Right" she replied shortly.
"I take it your boyfriend never picked you up?"
"That's right. So now I'm stuck at my shitty house, watching this shitty show, on our shitty tv, with my shitty brother."
Kovu sat down on the couch beside her. "Hey, remember when we used to watch this show every night?"
Vitani sighed. A girl came on the screen to flaunt the car that was the prize. "I hate her." said Vitani, "She's so fucking perfect. I wish I was at least half that pretty."
"Stop always complaining about your looks." said Kovu, "You're prettier than you think you are."
"Aw shut up!" Vitani scowled, "I'm butt ugly as shit...and it's all mother's fault! She calls me ugly because she is and she thinks I look like her!"
"Vitani, I need to ask you something about girls..." said Kovu, changing the subject.
"Oh...this'll be interesting." replied Vitani.
"What does a girl mean when she says 'I love you'?"
"Oh my god, Kovu. I always thought you had no hormones and that you were completely uninterested in us females. It's glad to see that you're okay. Alright, when a girl says 'I love you', the first thing you need to do is give her a big, sloppy kiss on the lips. It's okay if you drool a little bit into her mouth...most girls love that. Oh, and make out with her while you do it...and try to have an erection. Girls always feel for that as they're making out. Just...oh I dunno, try to picture her naked...But she might get offended if she doesn't feel you getting a good boner...And don't act like a weird dope if she decides to stick her paw into your pants. I do it all the time just because I can't help myself."
"Well...I'm asking because there's this girl I met at school and...I like her...a lot...and she just told me she loves me...I said I loved her too and just left."
"You idiot!" exclaimed Vitani "If a guy did that to me I would cut his balls off!"
"Well then it's a good thing it wasn't you." retorted Kovu.
"Look, you're never going to get anywhere with girls if you're so quiet. You can't just repeat back whatever love words they say to you."
Deleted Scene 6, the PRSA massacre
Originally, the massacre was going to be at the end of the story, kind of as a climax. It would happen as Kovu, Kiara, and Ramone were leaving the town. The main problem that posed was what would Zira's clan do in the middle of the story. I realized the massacre went better in the middle than at the end. Also, since most of the second half of the story is indirectly related to the massacre. Also, this was not a very well written sequence. Reading over Zira's rant I realize it sounds like a shitty combination between Jared Milton and The Anonymous. Sure, Zira isn't the brightest, but she at least has some sense of logic.
"Kovu pull over!" Ramone shouted.
They were nearing the school campus again; but now there were police cars and ambulances everywhere.
Kovu pulled into the parking lot of the Sheetz gas station. "We can't get pulled over for anything" said Kovu.
"What is going on here!" cried Kiara.
The three of them hurried into the store where everyone was crowded around the TV in shock and horror. The top of the screen flashed "Colombine happens at Pride Rock Spirit Academy: seven dead; nineteen injured."
"Oh my God" cried Kiara, heart pounding.
A smile spread across Ramone's face (a very rare occurance), "It's about time!" he said.
They listened quietly as a reporter came on the screen. One of the bystanders turned up the volume so they could all hear.
"We now have proof of who orchastrated the attack. We found a video she made..."
A picture of Zira came up on the screen. Kiara glanced over at Kovu who was just staring. He did not look shocked; just upset.
"...and here is the video footage we found..." A video of Zira came on. It was obviously self made. "People of Pride Rock Academy, you arrogant *bleep*. I wish to speak out against all this bull*bleep*. Me and my people are taking action against you. We hope to target as many of the cheif administrators as possible. Primarily targeting Simba, Nala, and Kiara. We hope your administration dies with them and we hope you never recover. We are sick and tired of your fakeness, your lies, your pushing all your problems under the rug and saying everything's *bleep* perfect. Well, I have some news for you: The perfect world you think you are is a *bleep* fantasy. But the world would be one step closer to perfection if you were destroyed. That is why we do this; for the betterment of society, for the greater good. You've been enjoying this plastic presteige far too long. Did you really think you could just continue to take over everyone's lives? What were you trying to do? Take over the world? Did you think everyone would just bow down and serve you? You should have expected us."
The clip cut and the reporter came back on the screen. "We have information that Simba was shot in the arm and is now in the hospital. Nala got away in time. Her location will not be disclosed, just in case the assassination team is still hoping to get more victims. Kiara is still missing; speculations have arisen that she was kidnapped but we have no proof either way. The authorities have already detained four of the five known killers; who will most likely be sentenced to life in jail. Zira has not yet been caught. Because Zira is on the loose, and we still don't know for sure how many are involved, we advise all of you to stay off the streets and out of public places. If you are in public, please take caution. The names of those dead and injured will be posted publicly as soon as the next of kin have been notified. The attack has surely shaken us all. Just know that Assyron is still in control and pray for our city."
Kovu and Kiara stood speechless. None of the bystanders had recognized her yet. They went back out to the car. Ramone finally broke the awkward silence.
"Well...she was right. We can now leave knowing they got what they deserved."
"Shut up, Ramone!" yelled Kovu, "Kiara, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"
Kiara sighed, "You knew about this; didn't you?"
Kovu flipped on the radio. "...For those of you just tuning in, a bomb went off in the academy in room 289 at exactly 10:26. The teacher, Mrs. Randolph, and everyone in the room was killed..."
"Oh my God! That's my third period class!"
"I knew the plan," said Kovu, "But I was told the whole thing had been called off. You see, I was supposed to plant that bomb. The original plan was for me to leave a backpack in one of your classrooms with a time bomb in it set to go off when you would be in class. I told her I wanted nothing to do with the plan anymore. She told me I had ruined everything and that they couldn't do any of it without me. She said I must go through with it, or she would kill me and then kill herself. I said I absolutely refused to go through to go through with the plan...That was when she attacked me the first time and gave me my scar. I thought I could just leave and it would end there. I don't know who else she could have gotten to do it...I thought I was the one she needed to plan everything and carry it out. She's too lazy to have done it herself...at least that's what I thought..oh god, I'm such an idiot!".
Hope you enjoyed reading those and seeing how unplanned I was at the begining of this. So yeah, you can see just how much editing a story can help you out. Also waiting to post until you know exactly where you are going will help you overcome plotholes and give your readers a better overal experience. It takes about ten times longer, but in the end you will feel much better about yourself.
Please Review :)