Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.
A/N: Pure crack I came up with in forty minutes. Enjoy.
Starfire was used to hearing the thunderous call of her leader, from "Titans go!" to "You won't get away with this!" to "Beast Boy, touch that and die!" Hearing him call this particular name wasn't that surprising, seeing that as much as he tried to deny it, Robin was always chasing after the villain. But her confusion and shock laid in the fact that it was just an average lazy Sunday in Titans Tower, and that there should be no calls of "Slade!" unless it was accompanied by the screech of the alarm. As far as Starfire knew, Robin was updating part of the security system.
But as without too much deep thought into the subject, she was off and flying down the stairs. She could hear Silkie mewling back in her room, irritated at the sudden interruption of his daily brushing.
Starfire skidded into the main room, the central gathering area for the Titans. By her side was Cyborg; he had joined her by his room, clearly in the middle of some big project. His hands were streaked with oil and he was struggling to re-attach his right leg.
"What's this about?" he panted to her at the door. She shrugged. He readied his sonic canon.
Raven was behind them within five seconds. Her hood had slipped down her back and she yanked it upwards crossly. Black energy crackled around her fingers. Starfire could hear her muttering, and the names she was calling Slade did not seem very complimentary to her.
Beast Boy was crouched on top of the kitchen counter, obviously in mid-snack. The fridge's contents were spread across the kitchen, so when Beast Boy had jumped in surprise onto the counter at Slade's apparent arrival, his foot had landed in a peanut butter and tofu sandwich. He leaped off the counter to join the rest of his confused team, clearly very disappointed in how close he'd been to lunch.
As the well-synchronized team they were, the Titans, excluding Robin, crept towards the couch. They could barely see Robin's legs sticking out of the cabinetry beneath the main computer console. Starfire could not see Slade anywhere, and she desperately hoped this was not another magic-mushroom-dust episode.
Beast Boy walked cautiously forward, jumping over the couch and landing down in a squat next the Boy Wonder. "What's wrong? Where is he?" he asked, voice sharpening with adrenaline and alarm.
Raven and Starfire flew next to Beast Boy, and Starfire leaned over to see Robin's face. Cyborg ran over as well, a battle stance already in his posture.
Robin had been adjusting some of the wiring beneath the computer, switching reds and blues and grays, a system that made no sense to Starfire. She assumed Robin must've known what he was doing, but she wondered what. Had Slade tried to hack the Titans' security system? That would make perfect sense. It explained why Robin was spread-eagled on his back, half underneath the computer, holding his throbbing head. Wait, that didn't seem quite right—
"What are you guys talking about?" Robin moaned. His black hair was mussed and a maroon-ish lump was beginning to grow on his forehead. "Who's here?"
"Slade, man," Beast Boy said, leaning closer to Robin. "Who else?"
"What?" Robin asked irritably. He pushed himself out from under the computer, sitting up and rubbing his aching noggin. "Why would he be here?"
"You just yelled his name," Raven snapped. She didn't like being disturbed.
Starfire could practically hear the gears turning in Robin's head. His face suddenly lit up red, almost managing to hide the horrible bruise. His expression twisted into a grimace, lips twitching in frustration. He mumbled something she couldn't hear.
"What did you say?" Cyborg asked.
"I said I didn't say his name," Robin mumbled slightly louder, loud enough for the entire team to catch.
"Dude, we all heard you."
"Yeah, Robin, what did you yell his name for?"
Robin stood up, face blushing scarlet and fists clenched. As he stalked past them, he muttered, "I just hit my head reaching for a wire."
Beast Boy, unable to let go of the subject, called after him, "So Slade isn't really here?"
"…You just…used his name as…a cuss word?"
"…I'm leaving now."
As Robin turned to exit the room, his hand hit the edge of the doorway hard. Starfire could tell it hurt from the sound thwack of the wood.
"SLADE!" Robin yowled, bending over in pain. When he regained his composure, he fled from the room.
The team looked at each other, a little weirded out. Finally, Raven voiced her thoughts. "Robin gives a new meaning to the word 'obsessive.'"
Not sure if I liked how that turned out, but oh well. I've been wanting to write about that for ages. Reviews are to godliness as cleanliness is to over-rated-ness. (I'm in my crack fanfic humor mode. It only makes sense to me. :P )