A/N - 3/29/2012: I have revised the first chapter, as I grew to loathe how it originally started and there were a few inconsistencies that I noticed. This should not effect the two other chapters currently posted.
This story assumes that Voldemort was never bandied about as a spirit that could come back to life at anytime. In this Alternate Universe his death has been celebrated, as well as Harry's survival, but he shall not be returning to the world of the living. Thus, the title of the fic.
He has also been sorted into Ravenclaw, and has never developed much a relationship with any of the Weasleys or Hermione. He is still very much enemies with Draco, and his popularity is just as it was in the books, without the drawback of a bunch of students ready to hand him over to Voldemort and a bunch who believe him to be the Chosen One.
In other words, he's just a really popular kid, with a fair amount of smarts and better than average good looks. I hope that everyone will enjoy this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it thus far, and I also hope to be completely finished with it by July of this calender year.
If you have any questions, you are welcome to leave me a review and I will try to contact you back, but it would be a lot easier to join me on the Dark Lord Potter forums, where my story is being posted and talked about before it ever reaches .
Finally, thanks for reading, please take it in the spirit it was written, and thanks for the fish!
Potter, No Angst
Chapter One: My Traitorous Libido/First Dilemma
Harry walked swiftly down the corridor towards his dreary destination deep in the dungeons of Hogwarts. Ravenclaw students lined the corridor, only a few of them mingling with the Hufflepuffs who had just filed out of Professor Flitwick's Charms' classroom.
"How was class?" asked Susan Bones, simultaneously slinging her bag over her shoulder and pulling Hannah Abbott along behind her. They bridged the gap between the students, and Harry could spy Ernie MacMillan making his way over to greet him as well.
"Lets just say I'm glad it's History," he quipped. "How was Charms?"
Susan prodded Hannah, who sighed and turned away from Harry. The silence was palpably tense, owing to Harry and Hannah's own personal history, or more accurately, their recent break-up.
Harry shook hands with Ernie, who took a long moment to smile at Hannah before nodding slightly at Susan. Harry thought he could see a shadow pass over the boy's eyes, but as soon as he looked closer it was gone. He shrugged it off with only the smallest of twinges in his gut, figuring that Ernie probably had the hots for Hannah, which meant it wouldn't be very long before she was on to her next conquest.
He didn't mind really. Their relationship had flared and burned just like his others; one minute they were kissing behind the Professor's back and the next they couldn't even speak without biting eachother's heads off. Harry decided he would rather be hit with the Cruciatus than deal with anymore wishy-washy females.
Sensing the embarrassing situation on the verge of crashing down on all of them, Susan covered up the awkward moment by declaring, "It was fine, Harry. We'll see you later." Hannah rolled her eyes and Susan guided her friend further down the hallway, frowning and whispering in her ear. Ernie followed them a few seconds later, sparing only a cursory glance at Harry, who had stopped walking just to get away from the Hufflepuff trio.
Harry frowned. Susan was a good friend, and he knew she was just trying to reconcile Harry and Hannah, so her poor attempt to get them to talk didn't really bother him. What concerned him was the simple fact that Susan didn't know it had been Hannah that broke up with Harry in the first place.
Shaking the thought from his already pre-occupied brain, he nodded at a group of giggling girls and continued on his way. This year, his sixth at Hogwarts, had seen a rapid expansion in his dating options, perhaps owing to his great grades, better than average looks and the knowledge that he was, if not the most popular student inside of Hogwarts, the most popular Hogwarts student in the world. He grinned wryly thinking to himself that things could be worse than having the majority of the females in your school interested in you.
More than once he had heard from Luna about a group of Ravenclaw girls describing the things they would do to him if only they were lucky enough to be locked in a linen closet with him, and if he was completely honest with himself, a few of them would be welcome additions to the Harry Potter fan club.
"Harry!" called someone behind him as he turned a corner. After a moment's thought he recognized the voice as the easily excitable fifth year Gryffindor, Ginny Weasley. He recalled vaguely that she had five or six older brothers, and that one of them was a member of the Gryffindor Quidditch squad, a lanky redhead named Ron. They had rarely spoken, but he had always seemed like a nice enough chap even though his temper was well-known throughout the school. Harry grinned inwardly as the quite pretty girl came closer; judging by the way Ginny was eyeing him as she walked his way, Harry and Ron might become a lot more familiar.
"Yes, ma'am," Harry drawled, cocking one eyebrow and trying to look as eager as possible. It was an expression he had worked on a lot because it simply worked on a lot of girls.
She giggled softly and slapped him lightly on the arm. "You don't have to call me ma'am, Harry." She tried to lock eyes with him and he was disconcerted by how fiercely interested in him she looked.
"Yes, ma'am," he said, smiling. Ginny leaned in close, and for a moment could smell her perfume. She laughed again, and this time it resonated in him, causing him to join her in laughter, if only for a moment.
Then she seemed to realize she had a reason for being there because she quickly cut to the chase. "Do you think we could go somewhere and talk more privately? I need to ask you a big favor but I don't want everyone over here to... overhear," she finished lamely. Harry smiled at her obvious nervousness and it endeared her to him slightly.
"Sure, why not?" he said. Then he slapped his forehead, causing the side opposite from his scar to become red. "Oh, that's right, I can't! I'm going to be late for Potions right now."
He started to walk off, causing Ginny to frown, but then he turned back around long enough to say, "Meet me at the library in two hours if you want to talk, okay? I'll be sitting at the table closest to the front door."
Ginny smiled brilliantly and stood a little straighter than before.
"I will see you very soon..."
Harry just smiled and continued walking, assuming the only thing Ginny would want to talk about is a relationship between them. She was nice, he thought, certainly attractive, but he didn't want to deal with a family full of angry boys unless the girl was a knockout. Harry was not the type of person that was so shallow he rated women based on looks... but if he was honest she was an eight, eight and a half at best. There were at least ten girls in the school he'd rather be with, and one or two that he already had.
These thoughts led him to the door of the Potion's 'classroom' so he swiftly joined the rest of the crowd and made his way to a seat near the back. It was never worth it to sit in the front, as Slughorn was likely to make a spectacle of him, and while he wasn't one to shy away from the spotlight, he was feeling rather run down as this was the last class of the day. The spot next to him was empty, so he took care to place his things on the desk where they needed to be and to get prepared for the beginning of class. After a few more minutes of students piling in, he found himself accompanied by one of the best looking girls in the year. Unfortunately for him, she was also dating Draco Malfoy and she thought far too much of herself.
"Pansy," Harry said by way of greeting. She merely nodded uncaringly and began placing her things on the desk. After a moment's thought, Harry said, "If you don't mind me asking, where is Draco today?"
She shifted her bag to the floor and brandished her wand, levitating her
cauldron onto the desk and then using her wand to reseal her bag. Harry was unmoved by the small display of magic and continued looking at her questioningly. Finally she responded, sounding more than a little perturbed. "He is at the Ministry as he has been allowed to get his Apparation license early and chose today to do so. And just so you know, I do mind, so kindly do your work silently and we'll have no problems." After a moment's pause she added, "In other words, mind your business."
Harry was affronted. "Well, why did you sit beside me then?"
"Because I assumed you wouldn't talk to me, Potter," she spat, acting like it was completely obvious. "I thought maybe I could have some peace and quiet while I was brewing." She rolled her eyes, causing Harry to glimpse the tiny smile she carried, but only long enough for him to recognize that Pansy was enjoying this little conversation. "I guess that's ruined now. I should have sat somewhere else."
Harry looked around, noting that there were other places she could have sat, and some of those spots were still empty and beside Slytherin students. It didn't take a curse-breaker to figure out this puzzle, yet Harry was at a loss as to why she would willingly sit beside him and then insult him. Eventually he assumed if she had something to do or say to him, she would do it in time, so he simply waited for Slughorn to start the class.
After a few minutes Horace Slughorn joined them in the classroom, dragging what looked to be an overgrown mandrake in one hand and a blade the size of a machede in his other; Harry noted that the mandrake was already dead, and correctly assumed that they would be making a potion that had something to do with petrification. He was certain it couldn't be a cure all, as it would take several months to brew enough of that, but he knew that mandrake roots were also used in anti-wrinkle creams and other nonsense he had no need for at the age of sixteen.
His suspicions were confirmed when Slughorn set them to task a few minutes later and Harry winced when the Professor began chopping away at the recently-deceased mandrake before handing equal portions to the slightly queasy students. He directed them to also take supplies from the cupboard across the room, so Harry soon found himself picking dead insects out of a container and examining them for girth.
As he was considering a particularly large dung beetle, Marcus Belby clapped him on the back and asked him how his day was going.
"Everything is lovely," he said, while balancing a newt eyeball on top of his other materials. It rolled so that it looked as if it was staring Marcus down imperiously. Marcus blinked. "What classes did you have today?"
Students that had already completed their OWL levels often had smaller classes, and even amongst their own Houses the classes deviated. Marcus and Padma had not made it into the next level Charms class that Harry had been in earlier, so this was the first time he had seen either of them that day.
Marcus groaned aloud, causing Padma Patil to giggle and interrupt him. "He had Defense with Snape and he made him block curses for half the class. The only problem was that Marcus wasn't allowed to use a Shield spell."
Shaking his head sadly, Marcus agreed with her. "Yeah. Thirty minutes of using levitation charms on my desk to keep him from stinging me all over. I can now say without a shadow of a doubt that I've mastered the levitation spell we learned in first year."
Harry laughed quietly, patting his good friend on the back. "Don't worry about it, yeah? At least you know that you're not his least favorite pupil. That dubious honor falls to me."
He swept his arm forward and retreated slowly to his desk, taking great care to check out Padma's ample busom as he parted. If he hadn't broken her twin sister's heart in fourth year he might take a crack at her himself.
"Stupid, Harry," he muttered, and ignored the strange look he received from Pansy.
Harry made a show of setting his supplies on his desk, being deliberately careful not to agitate his partner, who had already begun the day's project and was a couple steps into it. He took a moment to glance at the busy girl, whose lovely black hair framed her face as she worked over the bubbling cauldron. She was the true image of a witch, he thought, and the fire lighting up her face made her look half mad, but completely sensual and most definitely attractive.
He found himself so distracted that he knocked his cauldron off of the burner and it rattled loudly, a resounding echo that was lost amongst the other din going on in the classroom.
"Shh," she all but shouted, giving him the dirtiest look she could muster on such short notice. To his credit, he just shrugged and, once she had returned to working, flipped her both birds.
Lavender happened to catch him in the act of toasting his partner and he could have sworn he saw her crack a smile though she had turned around before he really had time to be sure. Suddenly thinking of the time, he looked down at his watch and was surprised to find that fifteen minutes had already passed in the class period so he hurried to get started. Luckily he was quite talented in potions, a trait that Slughorn often said Harry had inherited from his mother, and he made short work of the potion. By the time the class period had expired he had bottled a perfectly brewed anti-aging potion and he placed it on Slughorn's desk under the watchful smile of his Professor.
"Very nice consistency, the proper color as well. I think that's another O for you, Mr. Potter," he said, scribbling lightly on a scroll on his desk. Harry nodded his thanks and as quickly as possible made his way towards the exit. When he reached it he found himself beside Pansy, who all but shoved him out of the way in her haste to get out of the class.
"Excuse me," Harry said sarcastically, feeling a little insulted despite himself. He knew the girl to be a frigid bitch, but it didn't give her the right to be the first out the door when he was closer.
"Excuse you," was the curt reply, and she flipped her hair with one hand, revealing her bare neck which was pale but very inviting. Harry was momentarily caught staring. In addition to being cold as ice, Pansy was also undeniably hot, and the girl noticed before he could shift his eyes away. As cunning and cruel as any Slytherin, she called him out immediately. "Do you like what you see, Potter?"
She asked it in such a way that he responded before he could really think it through. "Yes," he said, completely honest. Surprised, she actually giggled for a moment, covering it up with a cough and reddening slightly. Spurred on by her uncharacteristic behavior, Harry looked around and, noting that very few people were paying attention he whispered, "Too bad it's wasted on a poncy little cunt like Malfoy."
She sneered, but didn't reprimand him for insulting her boyfriend. "We're betrothed, you know. So I would watch what I say," she threatened.
Harry nodded, having heard about her parents' decision a little more than a year before. "But you haven't," he began, gesturing suggestively with his hands, "been 'doing things' yet, have you?" He laughed a little at her offended gasp, and he knew that his assumption had been right on the money.
She snarled and whispered savagely, "That is none of your business." Harry put his hands up, conceding the point. After a few seconds where she glared at him and he smiled at her, she threw up her hands and started walking. Dead set on annoying her for some unknown reason, Harry followed her even though he was supposed to be meeting Ginny in the library. Pansy headed deeper into the dungeons, presumably to where the Slytherin common room was located.
"What if I were to make it my business, Pansy?" he said, partly to see what she'd say, and partly because he wanted to know how she put up with the slimey little prince. "Half the time Draco wants to talk down to you, the rest of the time he won't even talk. You're seventeen now so why don't you make your own decisions?"
"Shut up, Potter. We both know that you will never understand Pureblood politics."
Rather than take offense, Harry just laughed. "Try me, Parkinson. I'm in Ravenclaw for a reason; I do occasionally read things."
She laughed in turn, though hers was somewhat more sadistic. "Oh, because you read a book you think you can interrogate me about the person I'm supposed to marry and the relationship that I have with my parents, who you don't know and will never meet?" Her voice was dripping with sarcasm when she put a hand to her head in false woe. "Oh, Mr. Potter, please save me from my horrid life. I will give you my heart if only you slay my betrothed."
Harry chuckled. "Consider it done. I've been dying to slay him for some time now."'
She rolled her eyes, though Harry thought he saw a hint of a smile playing at the edges of her mouth. "Whatever, Harry." He noted immediately that she didn't say Potter.
They continued walking down the hall though Harry was going the opposite direction from his destination. He would be expected to meet Ginny in the next five minutes, and yet he was ten minutes on the other side of the school.
"I'm serious, Pansy." They were passing a bunch of Slytherin students so Harry lowered his voice. "Draco is a terrible excuse for a human being and he should not be allowed to date a beautiful, intelligent girl, no matter who his father is, just because he has an agreement with your father and a well-paid Minister that will approve of it."
Still she resisted, feigning a yawn. "Please don't try and force yourself upon me because you want to be someone's valiant white knight. There are plenty of girls here to make notches on your bedpost."
Harry neglected to mention that he had been harboring similar thoughts earlier that afternoon. Instead, he laughed and said, "I'm not forcing myself on you, Parkinson. I just want to know why you bother with a lost cause and why you act so cold when really you're so much more than that."
She stopped walking at his comment and swung around to meet his questioning gaze. "Oh, really? And what am I to you, Potter? You've never spoken more than ten words at a time to me so what's with your sudden interest? Didn't Hannah Abbott just break up with you?"
She had, but he would deny it all the way to his grave if only to keep Pansy from wearing that smug little grin at his expense. Unfortunately, his lack of response might as well have been a confirmation, and a cat-like smile stretched across her plump, red lips.
She shook her head slowly, as if she was disappointed in him. "Are you so shallow you think you can fuck every girl in the school before you graduate? Would it give you a thrill to rub your hands all over my body?"
She punctuated her question with a rather fetching pose that only proved her point. Harry's tongue involuntarily licking his lips betrayed him when she stepped closer.
"It looks to me like the only reason you're interested is that I'm Draco Malfoy's fiancee." She was visibly angry and poked him in the chest twice. "So, tell me I'm wrong, because all I see is a lying, attention seeking fool who would stoop so low as to steal his biggest enemies' wife-to-be out from under him just to have her for a trophy."
More than a few people had stopped to watch them argue, though he didn't know any of them personally. He smiled at the wide-eyed students, hoping to diffuse the situation, and then stepped closer to Pansy, saying only so she could hear, "You are a powerful and intelligent witch who just happens to be oh so good-looking. I can see you know exactly how to give someone a tongue-lashing, but honestly, there are far nicer things I can think of you doing to me with that tongue." She opened her mouth to give him another telling off but he continued before she could. "And it certainly would give me a thrill to rub my hands all over your body, but not because of Draco. I want you... for me."
The last few words were whispered so softly that Pansy almost thought she didn't hear them, but despite her cold demeanor her neck flushed at his proximity. Before she could say anything smart in reply he bid her good day, turning away and walking off leaving her surprisingly breathless.
Stamping her foot, she turned heel and followed him for a few minutes, thinking of the things she would say when she finally found him. When she realized she wasn't going to be able to find him because she didn't know where Ravenclaw's dorm was, she screamed, nearly sending a third year Hufflepuff boy careening off the stairs when she began retreating down them.
"I hate him!" she screamed to no one in particular. Still, no matter how much she loathed the raven-haired Ravenclaw, she couldn't deny that his public display of desire had her suddenly unsure about Draco, and she felt a shiver run down her spine at the thought of Harry touching her in places Draco didn't bother trying to reach. It was obvious to anybody with eyes and a pair of tits that Potter was a playboy, but that didn't stop her from wondering what it would be like.
Angry, but determined not to let Potter get the best of her, she made her way back to the Slytherin dungeons so that she could wait for her betrothed to return and tell her about his day. Or, more likely, ignore her and go straight to bed. Though she let out a wry chuckle at the last thought, her traitorous heart ached against her will and her legs took far longer to trace their way back to Slytherin than it should.
When she finally returned, Draco had not, so she retreated to her dorm, drew the curtains, and slept restlessly, dreaming of her tousled black locks splayed across the bedsheets while someone rubbed their hands down her body.
Harry strolled through the side library doors a few minutes later and could immediately see Ginny sitting at the table he had suggested. Harry had to give himself some credit; he had only asked for her to meet him there so that he could enter from the side and surprise her. She was turned away from him, twirling her hair around her finger with her attention rivetted on the front door.
Smiling, he crept up behind her and calmly put both of his hands over her eyes. She jumped, having been startled by how close he was, but she settled down when he said, "Guess who?"
He removed his hands and moved to sit across from her as she greeted him with an expectant smile. Then she tried, and failed, to look stern.
"Where have you been? I've been waiting..." She made a sad face and crossed her arms, and her robes dipped just low enough to see the very top of her developing cleavage.
Harry could have been honest and informed the innocent Miss Weasley that he had been chasing around a sixth year Slytherin that everyone in Gryffindor hated, or he could have just told her it was none of her business. Something inside of him told him she probably didn't want to hear that, but that didn't mean that it wasn't true.
Instead, Harry stuck his tongue out at her causing her to smile once more, and then he said, "Oh, you know Slughorn. Apparently my potion was so good he had to keep me back and explain why it was so good, in detail. Of course, I already knew that from the beginning. I was the one who made the potion!"
Harry smiled happily as her eyes glazed over, a sure sign that she was watching his lips move and not really listening to what he was saying. He knew that he wasn't one of the best students in potions, but he had been successful in his class today and Ginny already thought of him as the Charms guru. Still, it was best not to sound too arrogant or she'd know he was full of it.
"But I'm here now, so..." Harry let the last word stretch on, trying to emphasis he had more important places to be than in a library at the end of the school day.
She snapped to attention. Harry sent her a knowing glance, expecting her to ask him to Hogsmeade or something. He was bored with the place by now, as he had been sneaking out since first year, but he could show her something really exciting if she was daring enough to go inside the Shrieking Shack with him...
"Oh, right!" She took a deep breath and composed her features. "I really wanted to talk to you about Charms."
Harry mentally groaned, but through sheer luck he managed to keep a straight face. "Charms? I thought maybe this was about something else?" Harry was anything but subtle, especially when irritated.
"No, just Charms. Actually, some of my friends are looking for an older student to help us with a project we're doing, and we were hoping you could be the one. Professor Flitwick said you were one of his best students."
Harry appreciated having his ego stroked just as much as the next wizard, but he really did have an exceptional talent for Charms work. Flitwick had told him he was tops in the sixth year class and much better than anyone in his current seventh year class, but Harry had never been the type to freely give up his knowledge and he knew that he wasn't qualified to teach the subject either. It also occured to him that he didn't really want to get involved in tutoring a bunch of Gryffindor fifth years in his spare time. He had plenty of other worthwhile exploits, and while Ginny could possibly become a part of that, he didn't have an invested interest either way.
Buying time, Harry said, "Who are your friends?"
Ginny had been frowning, perhaps expecting that Harry would turn her down, but she brightened at his question. "Vickie Frobisher, Romilda Vane..."
She named off a few more students, all of them from fifth year and the majority of them female. Romilda had been tracking him around the school these days and Vickie was one of the finest girls in the school.
He was starting to come around to the idea of teaching.
"Oh, and Hermione said she would help with the reading materials and stuff, so you'd really only need to show us the practical part. She seemed to think you would prefer it that way," she finished, giggling a little.
Harry smiled. There was no way that this could go wrong.
Then Ginny ruined it all by saying, gleefully "Oh! My brother wants to be there too. He said he thinks he could really learn a lot about you. And about Charms too, you know? Oh, there they are!"
She waved at Ron and Hermione who were walking towards them. Both of them looked like they were in the middle of an argument.
"All I'm saying, Ron, is that you need to do your homework before Quidditch practice; that way, you wouldn't have to ask me to copy mine at the last minute and you might even learn something in process!"
Harry could see she had a point, but apparently Ron thought otherwise. "I've learned plenty from copying off of you, Hermione. Its like reading a textbook anyway."
Hermione growled. "Well, this time I'm putting my foot down. I work hard to get good grades, and if you would put in the time and energy, you would have the same result. I'm not going to answer every question for you when you don't even bother to study."
Ron was becoming irritated; Harry could see his ears turning red and the Gryffindor boy was pulling at his tie agitatedly. He took a calming breath and said, "I promise to try harder, but I'm just so tired when I get back to the Common Room. Katie doesn't really know what she's doing yet, so she just sets Ginny to chasing the snitch and lets the chasers practice throwing shots at me while the Beaters send bludgers at them."
This sounded reasonable to Harry, but Hermione had probably heard Ron's spiel before. "I don't care!" she shouted, getting irritated herself. "I'm not your mother, and I'm not going to baby you, especially since I've seen you make plenty of time for Lavender every night this week."
Harry chuckled, though he was careful to hide it from Ron. Best not to test him when he was turning as red as his hair. "Please, Hermione. This time I'm begging you!"
Hermione swung around, hitting his arm with her bag and causing him to flinch. "I am not doing your homework for you and that is final!" She punctuated each word with another slap from her bookbag, and finally Ron jumped away, rubbing his arm in pain.
"Why are you being so stubborn?" he asked, ignoring the laughter coming from Harry.
"Stubborn?" she screeched. "Because I refuse to do your work for you I'm being stubborn? I'll tell you something Ron Weasley, and you better listen right now because I won't be saying it twice. If you ask me one more time today to do your homework for you I swear I'll send a letter to your mom detailing what you do with Lavender in the Common Room every night."
Ginny giggled, her tiny voice joining Harry's guffaws.
Ron retailated by saying, "Hermione, I swear if I was the richest man in the wizarding world, the first thing I would buy would be a muzzle for you!"
Hermione spat, "Well, I could just shut you up permanently with my wand!" Her brown hair bounced angrily, but Harry decided she looked quite nice with some color in her cheeks. He certainly wouldn't want her to be that angry at him though, and he definitely wouldn't insult the girl he was asking to do his homework for him.
The volatile pair were now standing beside Ginny so it was easy for Harry to hear the venom in Hermione's voice. He had seen a girl talk that way to him barely fifteen minutes ago, so he was in no hurry to get yelled at himself.
Ron grinned suddenly. "What wand? Oh, this one, in my hand?" He had stolen it out of her pocket the moment she said wand. Harry rolled his eyes. This was not unlike the relationship he'd had with his neighbor in Surrey. She'd bust his balls, so he'd have to one up her, and then they would kiss and her Dad would try to beat him with a rake.
Hermione pinched him and he turned it loose immediately, allowing her to snatch it back. "That's what I thought." Harry imagined her saying 'bitch' afterward, and had to stifle a laugh at Ron's expense.
"You think too much!" Ron said, unnecessarily. The lanky boy was standing over the much shorter girl, his fists balled up and his tone distinctively angry.
"And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?" Hermione's voice was soft and the conversation seemed to get very quiet all of a sudden. For a few seconds no one spoke, and Harry was considering begging the entire thing off claiming he was sick just so he didn't have to be a part of this stupid conversation. Luckily, Ginny took the initial ice breaker like a pro.
"What are you two bitching at again?" She looked at her fingernails, and wiped them on her robes, ignoring the appalled silence that was left in the wake of her comment. Harry tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help himself after catching the angry looks on Ron and Hermione's respective faces.
"We are not 'bitching', Ginny... and he started it!"
Her childish declaration caused Ron to raised his long arm, pointing one finger at Hermione and saying, "You're the one who started it!"
Again, Harry laughed; this time a little louder. Apparently this was the wrong thing to do, as his laughter seemed to further enrage Ron, who ignored Hermione in favor of aiming all his misplaced anger at Harry.
"And what the hell are you laughing at, Potter? Don't think I didn't see you in here feeling all over my sister."
Ginny spoke up, lambasting her brother. "He barely had his hands on my head, you idiot. Settle down before all of Hogwarts thinks I'm having sex with Harry."
"What do you mean you're having sex with Harry?" Ron yelled, having been unable to hear as he was scratching the inside of his very red ear through the first part.
Ginny punched him in the crotch and whispered, "Sit down. Shut up!"
Gingerly Ron made his way to the table and sat down, holding the area where he had been punched. Ginny stood up and flattened her robes, as her long, thin legs had been showing beneath them. She pointed at her brother before growling, "I'm not going to deal with him right now." Her neckline was red and she looked very flustered by what her brother had said. Harry took that to mean that she wanted to fuck his brains out. "I'm going to go back to the common room." Almost as an afterthought, she turned to Harry and added, "Hermione will tell you what you need to know, Harry."
Harry wasn't smiling as Ginny started to walk away. Inside he was raging at the fact that any conversation would lead to him being so thoroughly screwed. Not only was Ginny about to bail on him, she was also leaving him to her bossy older brother and his even bossier best friend. There was no way he would be able to think with the two of them fighting at every turn, much less teach a bunch of students. Eventually he would be caught in between it and that would wreck any chance he had to talk to girls.
"Ginny, please, hold on a sec. I don't think I'm going to be able to teach you guys."
Ginny looked hurt but only asked, "Why, Harry? You said you would help me..." She stood very close to him, with her big brown eyes pleading with him to reconsider. Despite himself, Harry sighed. He wanted to tell her to shove off, because he definitely didn't want to have to hear Hermione and Ron argue like cats and dogs, but he just couldn't phrase it without sounding like a complete arse.
Instead, he said, "And I will help you, but I really don't think I'm going to be able to teach unless you let me make the decisions on what you need to know about the subject. After all, I'm the teacher."
Hermione looked at him challengingly and said, "What do you mean? We already have a lot of notes, plenty of books and we know whats expected for their grades. I don't see a reason to change it." To emphasis this statement, she slapped her bag on the table and began pulling the notes out.
Harry waved her off. "That's not the problem, Hermione. You guys can read through the books all you want, but the only way I'll help is if you come to me, tell me what you want to learn, give me a little time to prepare, and let me teach it."
Ron objected. "Well, that's what we're doing now, aren't we?"
Harry thought Ron did have a point, but he verbally disagreed. "No, I'm going back to Ravenclaw to hang out with some friends. You guys can decide what you'd like to learn, come see me during the week, and I'll meet up with you at night to teach it. Its as simple as that. Seven to eight sounds good, then people can be back in their common rooms by curfew. I'll ask Flitwick if we can do it in his classroom since it is Charms study. He won't mind."
He stood, pushed his chair back and walked away with his head held high, ignoring the gasp of disapproval that came from Hermione. He wasn't planning on enjoying teaching, though he could only imagine what being one on one with a bunch of girls would be like, but at least he could be reassured by the knowledge that he was doing it on his own terms.
As he left the library he didn't see Hermione's mutinous look or Ron stand up wearily, relieved that they wouldn't have to go through the papers again. He also didn't see Ginny's delighted smile that everything was going according to plan.
"Ginny, what are you smiling at?"
Ginny knew that Hermione had just asked the question out of reflex, but the longer she thought about it, the more she felt like something important had just taken place. She had long ago decided to pursue Harry, and once she had Harry in the classroom with the other students she would be all over him and there was nothing anyone could say about it.
Not even her mother.
Her smile grew. "Oh, nothing. I'm just glad we could get that taken care of."
Hermione didn't smile. "I can't believe he just walked off like that. We had everything set up beforehand so he followed our schedules and he acts like he doesn't care either way as long as he can hang out with his friends by the end of it! He's just so..."
"Arrogant," Ron said, surprising them both. "He's arrogant and full of himself. I guess he knows his stuff so we'll give him the benefit of the doubt this time, but I swear if he lays one hand on your head, Ginny..."
"You'll what, argue with him until he gets so annoyed his brain explodes? I'm a big girl now Ron, I can take care of myself."
She walked away angrily, unexpectedly hurt by her brother's overprotective comment. Second year had been a fluke. There was no way that a man was ever going to hurt her like that again. Besides, Harry was the Boy Who Lived.
How bad of a wizard could he possibly be?