St. Patty's Day Challenge with SunnyCitrus10. (Thanks for being my Beta on this, girl.)
Rules: Sheldon/Penny, use words: Green beer, pinching, beer-goggles, four-leaf clover, and yodeling.
Summary: When Penny has a St. Patty's Day Party, Sheldon is stuck without any green to wear due to a cruel practical joke by his friends. What happens when he is bound and determined to find some green to wear…?
*a review would be awfully nice of ya*
Leonard begged him. Howard begged him. Raj begged him. But it was Penny's close proximity and refusal to relent on her stream of "" that made him finally give up and say yes.
Yes, he would go to her Saint Patrick Day's Party this weekend.
"And don't forget to wear your green," she informed the guys, practically skipping out of the apartment.
His large hands fumbled through his dresser drawers to the point of disrupting the perfect shirts that waited there to be worn. As he sought out something green, his hands began to work faster. He tore open every drawer in his dresser, practically tearing his socks out. He ran to his closet and whipped through the hangers.
"Leonard!" he shouted. "Leonard!"
Leonard appeared in the doorway with his green shirt with the big recycle symbol on it. He looked casually inside the door. "What's wrong?"
"I can't find any of my green shirts. Not The Hulk, my striped one, the—"
"Did you check your closet?"
He was met with a long glare and Leonard raised his eyebrows.
"I have checked every drawer, nook, cranny, and closet. I even checked the laundry I just washed!" He casually strolled up to his friend. "Do you know where my clothes have gone? And my Hulk hands? I know the precise count of every article of clothing I own of which 7% has green as a primary color. They couldn't have simply faded into thin air."
Sheldon crossed his arms and waited for an answer.
"I don't know where they are."
"Allow me to check your room."
"Fine." Leonard stood back. "But we have to be to be at Penny's in five minutes."
Sheldon glared at him, already irritated that he had to rush to do his laundry that night for a party that started just after 9pm.
He searched his roommate's room and was actually surprised to find…no green clothes in his room either, despite the fact that Leonard wore a green shirt now.
"Just come on. It will be fine. Penny will have four leaf clover pins for anyone who doesn't have green on." Leonard ushered a pouting and confused Sheldon out of the room.
"But my shirts—"
"Probably in your hamper."
"I just did laundry—"
"Sheldon," Leonard snapped. He tapped his watch. "You hate being late. Let's go."
"Ooooh," cooed Penny. "I just ran out of four-leaf clover pins. Sheldon, I'm sorry…"
Penny handed them both green cups filled with green beer.
"I'm not drinking this," he snapped.
Sheldon was angry that he was the only one at the party not wearing green. Even Howard and Raj were tackily dressed to impress in green from head to toe.
Howard even wore a pin that said, "Kiss Me, I love the Irish."
"Well, this is unacceptable. Howard, give me one of your pins. I cannot be here without one. I will be subjected to—" Sheldon hopped up with a squeak. One of Penny's friends passed him by, swiftly pinching his ass. "—the torturous displays of personal space violations."
"No way. You should have thought ahead."
"I always think ahead!" Sheldon indignantly replied. Another woman passed by and there was a pinch at Sheldon's side. "Oh, what a fresh Hell this party will be." He turned to Penny who was sipping her beer and smiling at him over the cup.
"Just go with it. Or flirt with a girl to get her green beads."
"Very well," he stated. He adjusted his stance and looked back up at Penny. His smile was a little goofy as he said, "You look dashing in…those shoes. May I have your beads?"
"Not a chance," Penny teased. With a giggle, she walked away.
Little did Sheldon know, everyone knew where his green clothes were. They were stashed away in Howard's room where Sheldon would never have the opportunity to look. Same with anything else green Leonard owned. As for the pins Penny had for her guests—they never existed.
This was a huge practical joke on Sheldon and he was less than impressed already. He couldn't seem to find anyone who would allow him a green item from their collection of gaudy accessories. He almost left but the door was consistently blocked.
He had to start leaning against the counter in the kitchen just to avoid all the attention his rear was getting with pinches from the ladies. It helped very little as many of them would weasel their drunk hands behind him anyway or try to pinch another part of his body. He started swatting them away with a towel.
"Good Lord," he said, walking up to Penny. "This is rather ridiculous. I'm going home."
"Just have some beer," Penny said, a bright smile on her face as she pushed the drink in his hands.
"Oh, I hardly think so," he said pointedly putting the cup down. "I would like to—OH!" Another pinch and a giggle could be felt and heard as Sheldon covered his bottom again.
"I should have gone without green," Howard murmured at Raj. "Sheldon is getting all the action."
Raj started to laugh but he knew his friend was being serious. Sheldon looked around for Leonard and found he was…making out with a random brunette in the corner. He rolled his eyes. She was obviously plagued with the 'beer goggles' that resulted from too much liquor, thereby causing people to find otherwise unappealing people attractive. He glanced at Penny. Though, Leonard had managed to previously get someone like Penny to kiss him… still baffled Sheldon.
He stalked off to her room, using the towel to swat away unwanted touches. He finally reached her room and closed the door. He turned to the disorder that was her room and walked up to the dresser, opening it. He needed to find something. A scarf, a hat…anything to slip on. He could not take this violation any further.
Outside he heard someone….yelling…? No yodeling. Is that what this drunken party has come to? In place of conversation were bountiful accounts of irritating sounds? He could also hear someone crying out for a spin the beer bottle game (it was Howard, and he was quickly shot down…by Penny).
After sifting through her mess of clothes, to which he avoided her scanty pieces and lacy undergarments, he finally found a green scarf! Hallelujah!
A soft click could be heard behind him and he whirled around to find Penny had slipped into the room.
"Found something," Sheldon stated, turning around. His heart pounding at the sudden appearance of Penny. Mostly because she remained leaning against the door, her hands behind her back, just gazing at him in an alcohol infused state.
"Do you really think that's going to do anything for you?" she asked lazily.
"Of course!" he said, turning around to drop the towel on the bed as he tried to tie the scarf to his arm. "With this display of green on my attire, I will avoid the physical abuse of the pinches."
He was smug as he worked the scarf around his upper arm, having trouble securing it.
Sheldon jumped at a sudden touch behind him. "Will it?" purred Penny, her hands running up the back of his thighs and over his backend. With her hands spread, she gave his rear a nice, tight squeeze. "Not everyone has pinched you."
Sheldon swallowed, pulling her hands away as he turned around. "Yes, but enough have and—"
She pressed against him, her hands smoothing past his waist and down his backside again for the same gentle grip. "Oh, Shelly…" She pouted up at his blushing face. "You must be so sore. I'll make it feel better…"
"I'm fine," he choked out, pulling her hands away and trying to back up but her bed was right behind him.
He started to topple back but caught himself and pushed past her. She grabbed his arm and pulled him back, and he whirled around to look down at her again.
"Where are you going? You're still only wearing red and yellow. And these crazy brown plaid things," she said through her teeth as she yanked at his pants.
"Stop," he whispered, pushing her hand away, his face burning.
"What if I went out there without green on, too? Would that make you feel better?" she asked.
Sheldon glanced at his arm but the scarf had fallen off. He sighed. "I suppose." He crossed his arms and looked away.
Penny swiftly pulled off her green shirt and shoes, and Sheldon jumped, stepping back. He shielded his eyes and looked at the closet door.
She looked down at her green bra and busted out in giddy laughter, really only buzzing rather than full on drunk. "I forgot. I'm wearing green under my clothes!" She unbuttoned her pants and pulled them down. "I guess I will just have to go out naked."
"Oh, dear God," Sheldon sighed out, lifting her clothes on the floor and shoving them in her hands without looking at her.
She stumbled back by the force and giggled. "I was joking. I'm not letting Howard see me naked."
"Have you no shame?" he muttered, turning around to allow her to get dressed. However, his face was burning with something other than embarrassment and that alone embarrassed him. He barely moved when he felt the same persistent hands as before rubbing the back of his 'crazy brown plaid things.'
He closed his eyes and swallowed, trying to ignore the pressure building up in his pants.
"I have something you could pinch," she teased, finally giving him a gently pinch in the same spot everyone else had. He swatted her hand away and stepped away, turning around.
He immediately regretted his action as she was still clad in her lacy green undergarments.
"Penny, this is highly inappropriate."
They heard loud music and laughter outside. She wasn't missed from her own party. Someone even tried to come in the room but Sheldon pushed the door closed and locked it.
"Ooh, geez," came a drunken female. "Fine. I'm peein' in the sink." Then she giggled and went off.
"That is disgusting," Sheldon noted.
Penny shrugged and smiled. "She's joking." Then she looked at the door. "I hope."
Sheldon licked his lips and looked away.
"Well, I do have something green you can wear."
Sheldon looked up, hopeful. She smiled and held up green lipstick, which until now she wasn't even wearing.
"I'm not wearing lipstick."
"I didn't say it had to be on your lips," she replied slowly.
"I wear it," she stated, sauntering up at him. "Then…" His breath caught in his throat at her hand on his growing member through his chinos. "You wear it."
He struggled with words. "Absolutely not." He pushed her grip away and stepped back. "I'm going home."
He turned to leave but paused at the door.
"Aren't you leaving?" Penny asked, arms crossed.
"I…am going to wait a few minutes."
"Yeah, you think the girls pinch you now. They're gonna have a field day with that raging boner." Penny tossed the lipstick down on her bed.
Sheldon hadn't turned around yet, hoping the noises he heard behind him were Penny getting dressed. He covered his backsides and waited. After a minute or two, he slowly turned around. His mouth dropped at what she wore.
It was his. One of his green t-shirts. The Green Lantern one. "So, you stole my clothes," he said, seething.
"Nope. Leonard, Raj, and Howard did. I just pulled this one out before they left. They're all at Howard's house." She smiled, lifting her leg on the bed. The shirt went down mid thigh, but lifting her leg caused more skin to be exposed.
"Give it to me," he demanded, holding his hand out.
"You want it. Take it." She crossed her arms, and gave him an equal stare down.
His eyes flared. "This is an extreme violation."
"You haven't seen extreme violation yet," she smirked.
"Kindly hand me my shirt and all will be forgiven."
"Come and get it, big boy."
By now Sheldon was in front of her, his face flushed with anger and something else as he bore his eyes down into hers. He yanked at the bottom of the shirt.
Penny's arms drifted down as her heart skipped a small beat. The aggression she assumed was going to come from Sheldon turned into a soft glide up her leg under the shirt. His fingers were so warm and firm in their initial touch. Oh, God, she was getting wet (well, wetter than she already was after a night of seeing Sheldon physically teased and continually blush).
The practical joke wasn't actually the guys idea….but she hadn't exactly expected it to turn her on so much. She just wanted to be able to tease Sheldon and maybe get to cop her own feel, but the night was going in a whole new direction. She was going on a whole different direction.
He stopped at her hip. "Why aren't you wearing your panties?" he whispered, his eyes wide. He didn't pull his hand away though.
"I took them off," she whispered back, leaning into him a little to steady herself against his touch. He licked his lips. "Keep going." Her eyes met his and they were wide and nervous.
His hands trembled a bit as he slid them up more, his hard on having pressed further against the fabric of his pants. He didn't look anywhere but her eyes as his hands caressed her back. She wasn't wearing anything under his shirt. She lifted her arms to take her shirt off, but he stopped her.
"You've seen me naked, remember?" She moved her hands down and pushed his hands from her back to her chest. "And you touched one of these."
His hands were very soft and uncertain on her breasts. "Now, you got something to pinch," she teased against his lips with a smile.
"The proper statement is 'you have got something to pinch' or 'you have something to pinch.'"
Penny closed her eyes in annoyance. "Oh my, goodness. You are unbelievable. You don't even know what to do with a woman when she has placed your hands on her—OW!"
She winced a bit, her eyes shutting harder, and when she opened them, Sheldon was squinting at her and his lips were designed in a less than jovial smirk.
"Now, I have something to pinch," he stated pointedly, leaning in to prove his point. He sounded arrogant.
Penny tried pushing his hands to encompass her breasts more fully than just her nipples. "Let go," she pleaded. He did and stepped back, his hands revealing themselves from his shirt.
He crossed his arms and gave her an I-told-you-so look, for whatever reason.
She sighed and slipped on her panties again, giving him a pointed look. "It was a joke, Sheldon. You can have your shirt back. Let me get dressed."
"Whose idea was it?"
She ignored him as she slipped her jeans back on.
She finally made eye contact with him. "Mine."
His mouth dropped. "Why would you—"
"Just to tease you. See you…squirm. Maybe," she continued, breezing past him, "get to pinch that butt of yours."
"You devised a plan of illegal theft just to pinch my rear?" Sheldon turned to face her, his arms dropping to his sides.
Penny shrugged. "Maybe get you a little loosened up." Whatever small fleeting thought was running through her mind, it gave away more than she said.
"You were planning on taking advantage of me." It was a statement.
"NO. No, never. Sheldon," Penny huffed, slightly put off. She pulled the shirt over her head with her back to Sheldon. She slipped on her bra. Turning to look at him over her shoulder she said, "Maybe give you a little Irish kiss." She giggled to herself as she reached over to get her shirt.
"You're not Irish." Sheldon looked away and ignored the fact that she was openly admitting she was trying to hit on him. Hell, she wasn't trying: she had.
She turned to him and took the couple of steps in his direction. "Here." She handed him his shirt. "Get your green on." She laughed a little as she recalled that's what was on one of the shirts she saw someone wearing.
He took the shirt, his gaze briefly touching down on her lacy bright green bra. He cleared his throat and pulled off the shirt he'd been wearing over his long sleeve one. It caused his short hair to slightly go askew. Without thinking, Penny brought her hand up to smooth it down and he grabbed her wrist to stop her.
The touch was meant to stop her, remind her that they were going back to the party, and redirect her. What actually happened was a bolt of what could only be described as electricity shooting through his arm.
Now, you have to let go of her arm, Sheldon.
He pulled her closer.
Now, you have to tell her everything about tonight was inappropriate and uncalled for…
He dropped his t-shirt to the ground.
...and gave her at least two strikes.
His mouth gravitated towards her with a magnetic force.
That while she may give into her primal desires…
His hands cupped her face as he pulled her up into his lips.
Not everyone is so primitive.
Penny's knees almost gave way at the shock. Her hands gripped his waist, pulling into him for support.
That not everyone needs to be guided by lust.
Her breath quivered when his tongue sipped into her waiting mouth before she had a chance to advance on him in this manner.
That some people's actions are guided by logic…and sense…and science.
It was the warm finger tips grazing under his shirt that caused him to pull back. His eyes fluttered opened and his mouth glistened.
Now, tell Penny all this…
She blinked and her lips pressed together, waiting for his next move. It was the same thing she did so often, and he was too familiar with the way her lips moved. It was a lip move that made him uncomfortable with its subtle sexiness, to the point where he reminded himself to hate it rather than think of where her lips could go. He'd forced himself to hate that move for a long time and often glared at her when she did it. She never seemed to notice. Now, with that very subtle maneuver that he was sure she doesn't realize she does, every suppressed sexual feeling he had that he'd held for her came rushing to the surface.
Tell her later…
He sat back on the bed and looked up at her.
Penny raised her eyebrows. "What are we doing?" She smiled excitedly nonetheless but this was new territory even for Sheldon. She was waiting for him to freak out and run away.
His hand trailed up her stomach, his eyes following the path. "Waiting for that Irish kiss," he said, with a self-satisfied smirk at his own wittiness.
Penny eased her body onto Sheldon's lap and they met again in a kiss.
O.M.G. I am actually kissing Sheldon! Hello!
When he pulled back to push her hair away and explore her neck, she asked, "So…how far have you gone?" She was actually more curious than anything. The music and talking still sounded from beyond the door.
"As far as you need me to have gone," he murmured, his fingertips teasing the cups of her bra. Penny reached around and undid it for him. He looked at her chest, slipping the lacy bra off.
She hoped his statement meant that she wasn't his first time: she would have hated for it to be like this.
"How much have you had to drink?" he asked her boobs.
"Only a couple of drinks. Nothing much."
"You seem pretty affected," he commented, his fingers grazing her firm mounds.
"I'm buzzin' but I'm not wasted," she said, laughing.
"So, your judgment isn't entirely impaired?" He lowered his head a little and teased her peaks.
"Around you, it's always impaired."
She could feel something wonderful stirring in his pants and she settled into him further. His hands slid around and gently cupped her backside. Furrowing his eyebrows, his fingers felt something in her back pocket. Curious, he reached into that slim pocket and took out a small wrapped square.
Raising his eyebrows, he looked at her. "Were we expecting something tonight?" A small blush creeped on his face.
"I'm always prepared," she whispered against his lips before kissing him with her arms wrapped around his neck. He tossed the condom next to him and allowed her to take control.
She continued to kiss him as her hands worked his pants open, after which she tugged his long sleeve shirt over his head. The small pause in their kissing allowed Penny to slip off his lap and tug her pants off.
She pulled Sheldon's hands towards her. "Here." She urged him to remove her panties for her.
His hands hesitated for a brief moment before Penny relished in the firm and tingling sensation of Sheldon Cooper slipping her panties off. It seemed so naughty! His eyes sparkled as they worked their way up her body to her face. He was smiling.
"How do you want to do this, Sheldon?"
"I don't follow."
"Who's conducting this train ride?" She smiled wryly and put her hands on her hips, knowing she was appealing to his love for trains…and perhaps his new love for the naked woman.
His face dropped in a bit of surprise before brightening in glee as he tugged her hand and threw her on the bed.
"All aboard…" he said in a deeper voice that Penny knew would be seared in her memory forever now. All she did was giggle nervously, but Sheldon stifled her with his lips. He kissed her thoroughly as he tugged his own pants off.
Penny pushed him away, yanking at his briefs. "Sheldon, get boxers," she mumbled to herself, but she looked up at saw him glaring at her as he kicked off his underpants fully.
"That was uncalled for," he stated.
"Sorry," she replied, sincere. Her hand started to work his shaft and all was forgotten in his groan.
He grabbed the condom he'd tossed on the bed and ripped it open. Penny took it from him and sat up to slide it on for him. He stared at it for a moment, sighing a bit.
"Looks like you don't need a four leaf clover to get lucky," Penny said with a smirk.
"Penny?" He looked into her eyes. She laid back down.
"Are you sure about this?"
She grabbed his head and nipped at his lips with a couple of small kisses. "Choo choo…" she whispered in a teasing little voice, accompanied with a giggle.
The next few moments were a mess of kisses, adjustment on the bed, arms shifting, and legs spreading. Sheldon's hand disappeared and Penny just watched the ceiling, waiting for him to enter her. She felt something different, a continual tentative touch at her folds with his fingers, which culminated in the teasing of her clit. Her breath hitched and she clung to his shoulders.
"I'm ready," she moaned in a very quiet voice. She had actually been ready to jump Sheldon at the first flush of embarrassment of getting his ass pinched.
Sheldon's face was soft and lust filled, and he just nodded in a daze as he shifted again.
Penny arched her back. There it was…
Oh, There. It. Was.
Sheldon stopped inside of her long enough to force himself not to drive into her too fast and hard and climax too soon. His body moved against hers, trusting her skill and experience in the manner though her quiet moans (lowered for consideration of her guests, despite the fact that they were loud as hell outside) told him he was doing everything right.
They kissed in brief increments, and Sheldon found it was hard to control himself. He hadn't had sex since he was fifteen. And it wasn't overseas, as many would have assumed because of his age. It was in his hometown in Texas…at a teen church retreat. It was with a very petite redhead who hung out with Missy. Like Penny, she was the more experienced one and Sheldon was just along for the ride, so to speak.
Over his own heart beats and moans, he heard her requests for an increase in speed and depth. It wasn't a whole lot longer before Sheldon came—his body shuddering and his breath gasping. Penny, moaning in a desperate sounding whine of agony and ecstasy (she hated having to be quiet during sex) tightened around him with her own orgasm. He shut his eyes hard and he twitched inside her still.
Rolling off of her minutes after their intense highs, he took a tissue and wrapped the condom inside of it, placing it on the nightstand for now.
Penny turned to him and smiled.
"That was some of our best classic Penny and Sheldon role playing," she commented, a sultry giggle escaping her lips.
Her boyfriend smiled down at her from his spot perched up on his elbow. "It was a bit of challenge. I really did not enjoy the additional touching of others."
"Do you think the guys caught onto us?"
"That the 'prank,'" Sheldon started, using finger quotes, "was both of our idea?" He shrugged. "Doubtful."
"You're really gettin' your green on, Sheldon."
"No, just working on getting yours off," he replied as he leaned in, a teasing smile on his lips as he met hers one last time. He'd learned to loosen up and had acquired a more comfortable sense of humor being with Penny—but she was usually the only person privy to it.
As they got up and got dressed, they made chit chat about how this night surpassed what they did during Christmas week (sometimes it takes two people to wrap presents…) and their escapade at Thanksgiving (cooking is messy business…showers are sometimes necessary…). And Valentine's Day…that was Sheldon's masterpiece on the roof of the apartment complex—she's pretty sure he was making up the constellations as he described them to her but the multiple orgasms were far from false.
This developed into something of a kink for them for most holidays. Sheldon seemed more into them than Penny (probably something about role playing but it was odd…they were usually role playing themselves prior to their romantic involvement), but nonetheless, she never minded.
When Penny and Sheldon returned to the party, both wearing green this time, it seemed no one missed them at all. There was still drinking, singing, yodeling (God knows who the hell kept doing that), and general flirting (with some couples making out). Leonard was nowhere to be seen while Raj and Howard lingered near the kitchen.
"God," Howard groaned at Raj who had reunited with him for only a moment to grab another green beer. "Those two are the kinkiest. I thought I was bad."
"Oh, that whole 'don't wear green so I can pin you in the room and fuck you' thing? Yeah." Raj took a swig of his beer. "I think it's brilliant."
Howard gave him a stunned look. "Of course it is." He looked around the room. "Now to find a girl not wearing green…"
"Yeah, good luck with that," Raj mumbled, walking away with the girl he'd been hanging out with all night.
Sheldon pulled Penny's hand towards the kitchen, pouring another beer for her. He handed it to her, leaning on the counter. She reached into the fridge and poured him green Kool-Aid, smiling as she handed him the very non-alcoholic drink.
"Happy St. Patty's Day," she purred.
He slid his hand around her waist and pulled her to him. He smiled and sipped his Kool-Aid. "Tastes good," he commented of the drink, putting the cup down.
It baffled Howard. How the hell did Sheldon Cooper get HOT ASS PENNY anyway? Glaring, he watched his friend put down the green cup of stupid JUICE and kiss the woman he and his friends have been lusting after for years.
When he pulled back, he'd whispered something to her and Howard wished he knew what it was because whatever it was…it made Penny blush.
Sheldon pulled back from the light kiss. "Luck in four leaf clovers is hokum. Finding a perfect Penny is exponentially better."
HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY! (Get your green on!)