A/N: This is my newest fanfic. I know, I keep starting new fics and never complete them. I need help. Anyway, this is the prequel to Destructive Desire. I have a couple original characters, but they are really based on people I know (you ladies already know who you are). Enjoy!


Blur

by MusicTwilightLove

Chapter One


I loved the adrenaline rush I felt as I was basically flying down the street.

So maybe flying wasn't the correct word, but I was as close as it got on a bicycle. So maybe I was a little dramatic.

I felt young, free, and amazing as I sat on the front of Benjamin's bike. It hadn't taken a lot of convincing for him to let me ride on his bike to a party. We'd been flirting for weeks. It was the last Friday of the summer, and I was determined to make it perfect.

I liked Benjamin - I just wasn't sure if he liked me. My best friends, Carlie and Kelly, thought he did, but no one had ever said anything.

Benjamin and I weren't alone here, though; there were six other people with us, and Kelly and Carlie were two of them.

As I held on to Ben's bike, I turned to my right to see Kelly riding her bike up next to us. "I have a car for a reason, Bella," she told me loudly. Well, Kelly always talked loudly, and she was never ashamed of it, but still.

"No, you have a bike for a reason," I said. "And that's because I don't have a car, and the party's only two blocks away."

I could hear Carlie laugh. Something about Kelly and I disagreeing with each other was just so comical to Carlie.

Going back to school was not my cup of tea. I hadn't done anything all summer, but I enjoyed the lazy summers of Phoenix. Sitting by the pool, having barbeques every week, and going to parties was just the normal agenda for the youth of my neighborhood. I lived in the kind of neighborhood where most kids got cars for their sixteenth birthdays, where everyone had a swimming pool in their backyard, and where partying every weekend was acceptable and no one would look down on you for it.

I had spent part of the summer with just Benjamin, since Carlie went to band camp for two weeks and Kelly visited family for just as long. Benjamin was cute, half Egyptian, and innocent. Or at least as innocent as he could pull off. He also had dreams. Lots of them. He made me feel inspired and he got me thinking about what I wanted to do when I would grow up, if I ever would.

I hoped this crush I had on Benjamin would go further than just this summer. I really hoped that we would actually get somewhere after the summer, maybe even during the summer.

We all arrived at the house party, and it was already going at full blast. The late-August night felt hot and exciting, like something was bound to happen. I was willing to have as much fun as I could tonight; I couldn't let go of the summer so easily.

I just didn't plan on drinking as much as I did.

An hour and three cans of beer later, I was feeling tipsy, probably even more than that. I danced with Benjamin. No, correction: I danced on Benjamin. I hadn't meant to. It just happened. I didn't dance a lot myself; I wasn't good at it. But alcohol was key.

The music pounded in my ears as I was a different person on the dance floor, to Benjamin. Crazy how I was so nervous to say something to him before, about me liking him, but throw in some alcohol and I was an animal.

I smiled after I dropped down and went back up to face Benjamin. He didn't say anything, but he smiled and tightened his hands around my hips.

I went up to the tips of my toes and whispered in Benjamin's ear, "We should go somewhere."

"Where?" he asked, all for it.

"Anywhere. I just want to be alone with you."

He nodded.


I wasn't sure how we ended up on the roof of the one-story house, but we did. I had already drank two more beers and I was probably at that "drunk off your ass" state of intoxication. I didn't care, though. Benjamin seemed to like me. He was absolutely beautiful as he lay on his back and looked up at the stars. I was starting to feel colder in my tank top and mini-skirt.

I lay down next to him, and without thinking, I kissed him on the lips. I kissed him softly, innocently. I had kissed before, but I wasn't that good at it yet. He kissed me back, and it was a bit rougher than mine had been, but I didn't mind. I'd been waiting for this all summer long. Benjamin had teased me since school just got out, holding me on a string and flirting with me but never doing anything major.

"Why did you do this to me?" I whispered drunkenly when he was done kissing me, his lips trailing off mine.

"Do what?" he whispered back.

"I think you know."

"What are you even talking about?"

"Benjamin...I, I really like you. And now you're liking me back. It's not fair."

His eyes wandered to the night sky. "Bella," he said, as if he was talking to the stars and moon rather than to me, "I don't think I like you."

I blinked twice, rejection sweeping in. I had never felt anything close to this before. He had just kissed me, then claimed he didn't like me. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're being an asshole."

"What did I do now?"

I stood up, ready to leave.

"Bella, hold on," Benjamin told me. "You're on a roof. You'll hurt yourself. Let me help you down."

"Leave me alone," I said as I made my way to a ladder on the side of the house.

I climbed down and managed not to hurt myself. Benjamin followed me back to the house. When I stumbled on the driveway, he caught me by the waist. I smacked his hand away. "Don't touch me!" I yelled at him.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help."

"Go away, Benjamin."

"You know what?" he said, shaking his head. "I'm done with you." He turned around and walked away from me, into the house.

I knew that I was crying. I was a drunk, crying mess. "Benjamin," I called to him. "Come on, don't be like that."

He didn't turn around or say anything at all.


"You're okay, Bella," Carlie told me softly. "You're okay."

I certainly did not feel okay as I puked up everything I had taken in later that night. All I could smell was the disgusting stench of vomit from drinking way too much. It did not taste as good as it did on the way out as it had when it went it. I shouldn't have drank more after Benjamin left me.

"Why are you lying to me?" I moaned. "I'm not okay, Carlie."

"Fine," she sighed, as I bent my head down into the toilet again. "I'll be brutally honest with you. You've sorta fucked up my night, you've made a fool out of yourself, and your makeup is messed up. How's that?"

Carlie always spoke her mind, and when she didn't, she made sure to later.

I puked again.

Carlie still held my hair back, though.

When I was pretty sure I had nothing left in my body, I flushed the toilet, wiped my mouth, and looked up at the mirror.

Who am I?

I had looked nice earlier. My hair had just previously been cut with layers; I had gotten honey-colored highlights the same day; and my fingernails were manicured and painted a bloody, sexy red. I should have felt a lot more attractive, but I didn't. To be honest, I looked sort of gross right now. No wonder why Ben didn't like me.

"Where's Benjamin?" Carlie asked me as I applied more lipstick, eyeliner, and mascara (borrowed from Carlie), standing in front of the mirror.

I shook my head. "I don't even know or care anymore." I gave Carlie her eyeliner back when I was done with it. "He hates me now."

Carlie leaned against the bathroom door and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "What happened?"

"He kissed me...and then left. It was so stupid."

"He just left you?"

"Well, he said he didn't like me."

"Why?"

"Do you think I fucking know?"

"You should!"

"Well, Ben's just being an ass. Good fucking riddance to him."

"Yeah, I guess. You could do better."

I nodded. "Where's Kelly?"

"Anywhere. We both know that she goes wherever the wind takes her."

I nodded again. This was true.

Someone banged on the bathroom door from the outside. "Get the fuck out!" they screamed. "Some people have to piss, you know!"

Carlie and I left the bathroom, and it turned out that that person screaming for us to get out was none other than Kelly.

"You don't really have to piss, do you?" Carlie asked.

"Not at all," Kelly said. "But I was looking for you guys. It's like you fell off the face of the earth or something."

Kelly looked at me, and her eyes went wide. "Bella, you are more twisted than a fucking doorknob."

"Thanks," I said.

"I'm sorry, but you're wasted. How much did you drink?"

"I dunno."

I felt dizzier and dizzier by the second. Kelly caught me when I started falling to the ground. "I think we should go home," she said.

"Stat," Carlie agreed.


My mother Renee and my my stepfather Phil were not pleased when I stumbled into the house at midnight, I knew. All the lights were on, Renee and Phil had been waiting for me, and I felt a lot worse. I collapsed on the couch, barely even making it there. I knew they wouldn't wake me up; I'd get my punishment in the morning.


My mother tensely set a cup of tea down in front of me the next morning. She seemed like she was in a rush, or she wanted to tell me something but was afraid to.

My head throbbing, I carefully picked up the china cup. I took a sip, and it was very plain. And disgusting. "Mom, can I have some sugar?" I asked her.

"Oh, yeah, sure," she said, "I forgot."

Yeah, she was definitely hiding something.

"Never mind," I said. I slid the tea away from me. "I'm sorry about last night," I finally told her.

"You should be," Renee told me.

"You said I could go, though," I pointed out.

"I said you could spend the night at Kelly's. I did not say you could go to a party and get drunk."

"What's done is done. What can I do now, Mom?"

"You're not going out until November."

"That's not fair."

"Life's not fair, either."

"Why are you doing this, Mom? I'm going back to school on Monday. And it's not like I was that bad last night."

"You got drunk and was dragged home by Carlie and Kelly!"

"Worse could have happened. I mean, I didn't have sex or do drugs or anything."

"Bella, you are still grounded. Also, who is this Benjamin guy?"

I froze. "How do you know about him?"

"You were talking about him last night. Who is he?"

"No one," I lied. Even being hungover and somewhat newer than yesterday, I was still lovesick over Ben.

"You're being safe, right?" Renee went on.

"Mom!" I cried. "I used to like him, but I don't anymore. We didn't even get that far. Nothing between us really happened."

"Teenagers lie all the time."

I sighed. "Are you trying to talk to me or what?"

"No, I'm done," Renee told me. "You're not going out until November, and that's final."

"Really? Really, Mom?"

"Would you like to wait until next summer, then?" she challenged.

I exhaled through my nose harshly. "No," I said.

"Then run along. You've got homework to do, right?"

"Mom, school hasn't even started back up yet."

"Oh, right. Right, right, right. I knew that."

I stood up, pushed my chair in, and walked upstairs to my bedroom. I slammed the door shut for effect, and texted Kelly. I had a crappy prepaid phone, but it got the job done, and that job was to communicate with others. Answer ur phone, I don't care if u sleep in til 11 on Saturdays, my message said.

Seconds later, I called Kelly. I knew she had received the text message already.

"It's Bella," I said as soon as she answered.

"I have caller ID," Kelly reminded me.

"Okay. Well, anyway, I'm grounded."

"For how long? Until school comes back? Your birthday?"

"November," I said glumly.

"That sucks balls!"

"I know."

"Wait, you're not going to actually stay in the house, are you?"

"What?"

"I mean, your mom is going to forget in like two seconds."

"And how do you know that?"

"We've known each other since we were, like, eight, remember? Your mom is like my second mom."

"I guess," I agreed solemnly.

"My point is, Bella, is that we're sixteen and staying in the house is not in the plan."

"You're seventeen today, though."

"I know that. Don't remind me."

"You love birthdays."

"In fact, do remind me. Bake me a cake from scratch and say yes to everything I request and buy me all the shoes in the world. That would make me very happy."

"That would make me very broke."

"Don't tell me you've spent all your salary from McDonald's already."

"I didn't. I'm saving for a car. You already know this."

"Have you burned your name tag yet?"

"No."

"Let's do it tonight. Carlie will bring the camera," Kelly joked.

"That's what she said."

"Ah, shut up," she laughed.

I laughed, too.

"But really. You're getting out of the house today. Or, Carlie and I are coming there. It's my fucking birthday. I can only turn seventeen once, and I'm not getting any younger."

"I know."

"Then stop bitching about being grounded. I'll call Carlie and we'll be over in ten."

I couldn't argue with Kelly; it was impossible. "See you then."

"Love you."

"Back at ya."

She hung up first.

I found myself laughing to myself. Grounded, my ass, I thought smugly.


So, how was that? Review please! I live off 'em.

xoxo, MTL