A/N: Hello, my dears. I am back with another chapter of Blur. Don't worry, the story's almost done. I'm excited to end it, and share it all with you. It's gon' be goooood. Anyway, I'd like to finally thank those who have reviewed the previous chapters. It's about damn time. So, here's to Dream Of Rose Petals, LavendaBrunette, IwantLittleYellowMinions, and tweetytweets. You guys are the best audience a fanfiction writer like me could have. I love all of you. xx
So without further ado, I present the fourth chapter of Blur. Enjoy!
"Do you have a girlfriend, Drake?" I asked Mr. Dashwood as I absentmindedly looked at the back of my unfinished Trigonometry assignment. I sketched pointy, odd-looking hearts in the paper, over and over. I'd never been a very good artist. Some things just couldn't change.
Drake took a sip of his coffee - Coffee? I'd thought, in the afternoon? - and then set the cup down. "No," he said. "Why?"
I shrugged. "I was just wondering."
His facial expression turned serious. "You know that we could never... be together, right?"
"Yeah, I know," I said. It broke my heart, but I knew. I knew that there was no possibility of us. I just really liked him. I didn't like Drake the same way I liked Benjamin. What Benjamin and I had was a non-emotional, intoxicated, shallow relationship. We were friends with benefits and nothing more. I'd used to think I was in love with him, and that really wasn't the case. I felt stupid for doing all that I did with Benjamin, but I would do anything for a quick buzz, so I didn't mind all that much.
But Drake was different. He was older, mature, and overall irresistible. I had an ugly lust for him, because I would never, ever love a teacher, and I didn't want it to end. There was just something so secretive and sexy about us... it was undeniable. And nobody would ever know. Never.
Benjamin took me home after an hour of homework help (which included a lot of non-mathematical topics), and when he stopped in my driveway, he didn't tell me goodbye yet. "So you're still failing Trig?" he asked.
I nodded sadly. "I still am."
"You've been getting so much help, though," he said with a confused expression on his face.
"Why should it matter?" I asked. "You've still got me."
"You know how much I like hanging out with you, though. You're not dating the teacher, are you?"
"Look." I put a hand to his cheek. "I can't fail. I'm sorry, but I can't. And I do still enjoy being with you. My mom and Phil just want me to put school first, that's all. We'll be fine."
He looked like he didn't believe me, so I did what I always did: I kissed him hard on the lips. I looked at him, deep in the eyes. "I'll come over tonight," I promised. "And I'll knock twice. Okay?"
"Okay," he breathed.
I smiled. "Okay."
I got out of his new car - a brand-new black Corvette he'd received for his birthday a week ago - and walked to my front door. He backed out and drove to his driveway as I got my house key out of my backpack and unlocked the front door.
When I walked in the house, I heard the TV on, the radio on, popcorn popping... Renee was home before I was. That was a first. She must have parked her car in the garage.
"Oh, hey, Bella," she greeted me as I walked to the front door.
"Hey, Mom," I said. I set my backpack down at the bottom of the staircase. "What are you doing home so early?" My mother was a teacher and when she wasn't teaching, she was with Phil or doing something crazy.
"I decided to come home, clean, and hang out with my daughter!" A concerned look suddenly flashed upon her face. "You're not going out tonight, are you?"
"I only go out on the weekends, Mom," I reminded her. "Today is Monday. You know, the seventeenth of November? In two-thousand eight?"
"I know you've been going out, though."
"I'm your mom, though. I'm supposed to know some things and not know others."
I nodded again. "Do you know when Phil will be home?"
Renee shook her head. "No, not today. But we have something we want to talk to you about."
My breathing stopped and I considered of the worst-case scenarios: someone in my family had died; Renee or Phil had lost their job; or Renee and/or Phil knew about me doing pot. Renee was easy to read - something was either wrong or surprising.
"Okay, then," I finally said. "Did something bad happen?"
"No, not at all, sweetie. We just have something to ask you." Renee smiled politely, like she meant it. "I would tell you now, but I wanna wait until Phil gets home."
"Well, I'm gonna go do my homework now," I called to her as I walked upstairs. "I'll see you in a bit."
I shut my door when I walked into my spacious bedroom and started English homework. I gave up after two minutes, and I felt like a huge dumb-ass. Maybe weed was fucking me up, or maybe I was just fucked up to begin with. I really didn't know.
I texted a guy that I'd met up with two nights ago to take my mind off things. I didn't know his last name, or if he went to my school, Desert Vista High School, or not, but he was still hot. I just shouldn't have gone along with the things we did at the party the other night, when we first met. That was all he could text me about, and how much he wanted to do those things again. The conversation was boring as fuck. There were some guys that just weren't fun to sext with. And he couldn't even remember my name. He just called me B.
After I ended the conversation with the boy from the party, Benjamin suddenly called my cell phone.
"What's up?" I asked when I answered the phone.
"Go to your window," he said.
I walked over to my window and slid it open. The window in my room faced Benjamin's window in his room, so I could see him perfectly. He was leaning out of it a little bit, that smile on his face that I loved.
"What do you want?" I asked playfully.
He said something so quietly that I could barely hear him.
"Come again?" I asked.
"I want you to go to the Winter Formal with me!" he yelled.
"I don't go to dances," I reminded him. "You know that."
"Please? Will you go with me?" he begged. "You can stand on my feet and kiss me and pretend like we're dancing."
I considered this for a little bit. I didn't like going to dances, since I was horrible at dancing, but I decided that because Benjamin was so cute and such a romantic, I couldn't deny him.
"Sure," I said.
"Yes!" He smiled widely.
I laughed and started to close my window. "I'll see you tonight," I said.
I closed my window and went back to my bed. I was actually a bit happy to be able to call myself Benjamin's date to the Winter Formal dance. I didn't want to date him, but I was happy to go as his good friend. I would just need a dress. I was pretty sure Kelly would help me find one.
Benjamin was a great guy. It was a shame that I was afraid of falling in love with him.
"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked solemnly as I swirled my peas around on my plate. Renee, Phil, and I were at the dinner table, so this was a pretty good time for them to tell me whatever they wanted to tell me.
Renee smiled. "Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me, sweetie. Phil and I were wondering what you think about moving."
My jaw dropped and I looked up at Renee. "Moving where?"
"Really? Dad lives there, though."
"We were wondering if you wanted to move." Renee was still smiling.
"To live with Dad?" I asked for clarification.
She nodded. "Yes."
"Why, though?" I asked.
Phil cleared his throat. "The team and I are going a lot of places, Bella," he explained. "We just want you to have a stable life."
Baseball. Minor league baseball. Of course I would have to leave for Phil's teenage dream. Typical. Renee and Phil always thought of what they wanted before they thought of me. Still typical. But they were pretty damn in love, so of course they forgot about my wants and needs. Typical, typical, typical.
"And you don't have to go," Renee added. "It's just that I know how much you like Phoenix."
I grimaced. A steady social life in Forks was better than a nonexistent one in multiple places, I guessed. People still smoked weed in Forks, I guessed. "When will I move?" I asked.
"How about after winter break?" Renee suggested. "You can spend the entire break here, and just move at the end of it."
"Fine," I murmured.
"Charlie will be really happy to see you. He hasn't seen you since you were five. That's such a long time, sweetie."
"Wait, Bella, do you really wanna go? Be honest with me."
I didn't want to go, but I still did. I wanted to break my old habits here, to start over. But there were some things and people here that I would miss a lot. Like the sunshine, my neighborhood, and my school. Like Benjamin. And Lucy. And Carlie and Kelly. And Drake. This was a lot to leave behind.
But it would be better for me. It would be much, much better. Things hadn't really gone back to normal since I'd started smoking weed. I was a party girl, giving blow jobs for a hit and a chance to escape the harsh realities of real life. But I wanted to shake that. Forks would give me the chance to start fresh.
"I want to go," I decided. I just have to do all that I can before I leave. This is my curtain call.
A/N: And that's it for now, guys. I'm currently finishing up the fifth chapter, where things get good. Thanks for reading. Now show me some love and review until your heart's content. I need it.