Perverts in a Pocket

Title: Perverts in a Pocket

Pairing: MasaYuki, IeYuki, MitsuYuki (All for UKE!Yuki)

Genre: Yaoi, Comedy, Friendship

Summary: A/U. Yukimura is a poor lonely boy. He decided to do a simple suicide but got a couple friends instead. But did he really need friends who kept looking for a chance to slip their hands into his pants?

A/N: I'm a bad writer! I'm a bad writer! Bad, bad, bad, bad! Please forgive me for the long update. I'm really sorry, I just can't find the right inspiration and time to finish the 3rd chapter. But now that I've finished it, I wonder exactly what took me so long… Anyway, here's the third chapter, I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. And thanks for the review of the second chapter:

xBunni: Yeah, I think so too. We need more masayuki, ieyuki and mitsuyuki pairing! Thank you very much for your review, you made my day brighter when I read your review!

Renix05: Keiji and Motochika? No, they can't be Prince! Obviously, because I have something in store for them to put in the story. And yeah, they're totally "oh so sexily animated" too in my eyes! :XD

birdzgoboom: Hehehe, I hadn't actually planned to turn Yukimura into a depressed character, but it just happened to turn out that way as I write. I'm so happy you like it, here's the second chapter for you!

Yoshino: Thanks for waiting! I'm continuing it, you see? Now you will know what will happen to the cutie Yukimura! Have fun!

YenY: Thank you! I'm glad you love it so far. Yup, I think Yukimura's cute as well, I could barely resist his UKE charm.

Takara: Thank you very much for keep reading this fic! You've given me review for the first chapter and I'm really happy you write another one! I hope you'll enjoy the third chapter as well.

And that's all I could say for now. Time to hop straight into the story. Happy reading!

Plan 3: When Romeo Wears Eyepatch, Juliet Punches Kitten

Every Sunday, the arcade seemed like a nest packed with various colored chicks. People from places we couldn't remember to know came and filled the space up with no room to breath easily. The sound of music and running game were loud and clear, sometimes hurting the ears that had to listen to it. Lights and vibration shook the whole place. The arcade always became the right place for youngster to find a beat in their wavy life.

Usually, a type of person like Masamune would bang every game he found and stored his name on the top of highscore list. But sadly not this time. No matter how much droll he wasted looking at the new shooting game; not literally; all he could do was watching people stepping in front of him and stealing his stage. And that was ridiculously annoying. Even more with the fact that he had no reason and power to put his objection.

Again, for the nth time, Masamune pressed the button on his phone and dialed Ieyasu's number. It went through for the first time but the guy didn't pick it up. The rest of his call ended up with no result. Just what was that spikey doing! Here Masamune was, roasting his head with his boiling blood while that dude doing something that was supposed to be FUN. What a lucky guy! If that Monkey and Motochika didn't do something so stupid like this, Masamune surely would have his stare of fun too!

Pulling out his already empty wallet, Masamune cringed and waved it around playfully. It was filled with a couple sheet of money just yesterday and now all he had was coins and bills. God, he couldn't even buy the cheapest lunch at school with this piece of trash! And it was all thanks to those idiot guys, Keiji and Motochika.

Call it robbery or whatever they want, what they did was far from what Masamune had been taught about borrowing. They took his money when he took a shower last night, blame Ieyasu and Mitsunari for coming home late, and left only a piece of paper inside.

Dear Masamune.

We're borrowing you money for a moment. Don't you worry, we'll pay you back in no time.
Don't be stingy okay? Thanks!

Keiji and Motochika

Now who in the world would call this 'BORROW'? They stole his money, for God's sake. And now Masamune had to suffer from it, spending his time like a Ronald McDonald's statue watching around with no obvious action.

"When I get them, they'll have their ass roasted!" Masamune gritted his teeth and hissed dangerously. "And what the hell is wrong with Ieyasu! Pick up your phone, you idiot!" he shouted at his own mobile, drawing some unwanted attention form his surrounding. Masamune noticed this and glared at them sharply. "The hell are you looking at!"

People scrambled away from him, sensing the heavy atmosphere and invincible warning sign above Masamune's head. Once again he looked at his phone and cursed. It was stupid of him to depend on a person like Ieyasu. He just wouldn't appear at the right time to lend him a hand, like now for example. Just what was he doing? He had never turning off his phone even when he was going to the gym. Except when he was running out of battery. But Ieyasu charged up his mobile just this morning before they left to the park.

Realizing that just standing around doing nothing would get him nowhere, Masamune frowned and ditched his place at the arcade. Since Ieyasu was out of reach and going to Mitsunari was out of question, the only thing left for him was going back to the dorm or hanging around at the dojo where Kojuuro was teaching. It was his dojo, actually, but he just had no responsibility and will to run it so he let Kojuuro do all the work.

Going to Kojuuro's place meant he would have to meet with his parents, so maybe this idea just had to wait. Masamune just had his day ruined he didn't need anyone to crush his only leftover of spirit. All he could do was go straight to the dorm. And when the day ended and those two idiots come back… his party would begin. What would he do with the two of them? Hang them on the tree in front of the dorm? That would be too easy; lack of fun and efforts. Maybe lock them up in the freezer in only their underpants? That would be funny for sure.

"God, what a way to spend my precious holiday…" he grumbled in annoyance. It was only noon and he had a lot of time to trash. "What can I do in the dorm? Playing games? Again… I've finished the last one."

Masamune sighed furiously and stomped his was back to the dorm. Summer would come soon and weather had been hotter than usual. Maybe the spring would end faster this year, nobody knew. It was raining just yesterday but now the sun was blazing hot like mad. Masamune winched and gazed up toward the sky, using his hand to block the heat and bright light from his vision. He was blinded for a moment but adjusted to the view in no time.

Summer… Time passed so fast he almost lost it. Last year he went back home at summer break. Normal family would have a party or at least spend their time together with the son who had rarely came home. But Masamune's family wasn't all that normal. They were busy, Kojuuro said to him one day. But that wasn't a reason. They just wanted to avoid him and refused to face him. God, just what was their problem? His dad worked like no tomorrow and somehow forgot to go back home. His mother left one day before his arrival for a meeting Masamune couldn't care to get a detail where. And then his brother, damn him for all he cared, departed the moment he stepped his feet at the front door.

The one eyed man growled at the memory. It was true that he never had a good relationship with his family, but it was all too much. Kojuuro was the only one who accompanied him in his summer break. But this time no was he would go back. Ieyasu and Mitsunari had the same idea in mind as well; nobody knew what the reason was, probably something similar with Masamune. They could just do something together or-…

Okay, now he sounded exactly like that spikey.

"Okay, that gives me a Goosebumps…!" Masamune shivered, despite the fact that he was literally grilled alive. "And what's with the heat? It is still spring, isn't it!" again he complained even with nobody by his side. The heat started to get into him, or maybe it was just the way he was. "Ugh, thank god they installed the new air conditioner last month. Might as well take a shortcut to the dorm, faster is better."

The black haired guy took a sharp turn at the first alley he encountered. He knew this town well, spending most of his time wandering around and marking his territory. He was born to be a leader and he had to start making his name known as early as possible. But still, some of those brainless curs somehow remained passive in using their healthy minds. Instead of giving up and letting him have an easier life, they kept blocking his view and challenged him into battles he would conquer in the end.

But it was still noon; the possibility of him meeting those low lives would be as thin as his wallet now. Maybe God didn't hate him that bad after all. And so, Masamune let his pace went slower for a moment and enjoyed the little comfort he may get from being protected by the shadow. The smell wasn't exactly kind for his nose but the lack of heat felt better for his head.


Masamune stopped on his track and straighten up his position. He put his guard up and observed his surrounding. The sound of metals and smell of blood was a little to close for his liking… The smell wasn't strong enough to be dangerous but he didn't like the idea of having a threat tailing him. Masamune gritted his teeth and smirked. As much as he didn't like it, the danger seemed to put his spirit back into place. He was excited now and there was no way he would be calm before finding the culprit or whoever it was.

"Hm… Seems like I might find a good game around after all."

Being trained by Kojuuro and samurai movies since he was a child, Masamune's moves were swift and fast. He made almost no sound in every step he took. Carefully, he pressed his body into the corner and glanced over his shoulder to get a look of the battle scene. The spirit inside him were flaming like mad, but his breath and muscles went completely dead to the world. His eye widened to the point where it might fall out of its socket.

"What the-…?" was all he could say. His mouth was gaping, not for breath but due to amazement.

Either it was the beauty or just his mind playing tricks on him… The scene in front of him could only be described as AWESOME. There he was, a mysterious guy with long brown hair, standing in the middle of the fallen like a breathless statue of Hercules. No, no… Hercules was all muscle, this guy looked even slimmer than him. He was shorter, Masamune could say just by looking at him. But despite being shorter, his power and aura didn't diminish even just the slightest bit. The elegance of strength and a touch of reality radiated around him…

Masamune felt as if he had found the long lost treasure, the one he had been looking for in the middle of endless desert. The guy woke something up inside him, the long awaited passion that had been buried inside him. This guy would be a challenge for him, something worthy… But the thought disappeared when he saw one of the bodies behind the attractive guy stood and grabbed the iron rod near him. Before he had a chance to swing it straight to the guy's head, Masamune dashed and shouted out loud.

"Look out!"


Before we continue with Masamune's scene, it would be best for us to walk back to the point Yukimura ran away from Ieyasu's loving grip. Pushing aside the lack of 'loving' part and endless awkwardness of the moment, Yukimura drowned himself in his embarrassment and ran as fast as his feet allowed him to. His mind wondered around like a balloon with snapped string. Just what the hell was he doing?

First, he fell on top of a complete stranger… No, he might as well say that he was JUMPING straight into a stranger's embrace. That was totally unpredictable, the arrival of the man he meant. But he was so strong to hold him and his own weight. Yukimura wasn't thin and bonny, he got muscle and meat behind his clothes even though it was nothing compared to the one that guy had. Anyway… Second, he put both of them in an even more awkward situation by letting them fall and ki-…


God, he was kissing a complete stranger right on his mouth! But it was nothing compared to the next thing. He just touched another man's private part with his own hand and lived to tell the tale, not like he would spread the news around anyway. If only he had been more careful, everything might end differently. But the word 'easy' had never really occurred to him, which was sad. Why can't he have something good in his life just this one? His dream had been crushed right in front of his eyes in the worst and most ridiculous possible way.

His dream? Don't laugh, but he actually wanted to have a perfectly normal life, marrying a woman he loved and building a happy family like what he watched on TV when he was twelve. Never had he thought of a possibility of having his first kiss being stolen from him in such a way. Kissing a girl, that would be a whole different story. At least it was a girl. But what, or who, he kissed was a man! Even with his imagination there was no way he could change the whole shocking part of the incident.

"God, please forgive me! Please forgive me! It's because I want to do a suicide, isn't it? I know it's wrong but-…! But-…!" Yukimura pouted like a child while a part of himself wanted to cry for this stupidity. "This's unfair! I'm doing my best but it's always ended up as failure! It's always like this!" he shook his head in desperation and continued to run. "I'm so stupid, stupid, stu-…! GWAAAAAA!"

The last scream part was the result of his clumsiness. Being indulged in his frustration, Yukimura hadn't paying much attention to the road in front of him, moreover to notice an empty can he just stepped on. Yukimura fell face first to the wet hard ground beneath him and yelped out loud. The pain was even worse than when he fell before, maybe it was because he had someone to block his landing back then.

"Ow, ow, ow…! That's hurt!" the chocolate haired young man moaned, rubbing his throbbing forehead with a drip of tear flowing out of his eyes. "Ugh…!" he bit his lower lip, feeling hundreds kinds of curse on the tip of his tongue but couldn't let it out. He was frustrated and this accident didn't help him much. "Sasuke… Sasuke…!" Yukimura called out in the middle of his frustration.

Yukimura couldn't really decide what he should do next? Should he bite his hands off first to calm the ranging emotion inside his heart? Or should he bang his head to the nearest wall? My, everything sounded so tempting in such a situation. Yukimura sighed heavily, rubbing his chest where his heart was beating wildly. Maybe he was tired because of the whole great escape thing. He took a deep breath and held it inside his lung for a while but suddenly forced it back out.

The young man froze in his place, gaping like a carp inside a pond. He slid his fingertips over his chest, feeling the skin with his trembling hands. And then, as if a lightning bolt hit him from above, Yukimura's face turned pale as if someone tugged the plug and drained all the colors he had.

"My necklace-…!" his voice sounded as nothing but whisper. "It's gone!"

That wasn't possible. He could swear he felt it bumping against his chest as he was running around before. He must have dropped it when he felt just now. And where was he again? Yukimura glanced around and absorbed the whole surrounding into his vision. He was literally trapped in the middle of a dark alley. Yes, it was still noon; he could see the sunlight seeping through the crack between those tall buildings. How did he get here?

Well, he could wonder about that later.

Now, he must focus into finding his necklace. It was all he had now, his most precious treasure. That necklace was priceless, not because it was expensive or anything. When he was a child, Takeda Shingen gave it to him as a present for his birthday. He was very happy and promised Takeda to keep it safe no matter what happen. And Yukimua wasn't the type to break promises. It may seemed like a normal six coins tied together by a rope. But for him, it was his happiness and unforgettable memories tied together by the string of time.

"Where is it? Where is it?" Yukimura knelt and crawled to catch a glimpse of his treasure. It wasn't really small to begin with so of course it wouldn't be so hard to find it. He scanned the whole place thoroughly, making sure he didn't miss any spots and spaces. After a few trial and efforts, his frown turned into a genuine smile. There it was, his necklace was lying helplessly at the ground about 2 feet away from him.

"There you are!" he chirped cheerfully like a bird in the morning. "I thought I lost-…!" he didn't get to finish his sentence when a foot suddenly landed on top of his necklace. Yukimura startled, gazing up to find a couple guy glaring at him menacingly. This looked bad. For some reason, the lady of fortune teased him too much these days.

"What have he here?" the toughest looking guy smirked. "A kitten looking for his ball of yarn. This's not the right place for you to wander around, don't you think?"

"W-Well yeah, I think so…" Yukimura nodded awkwardly. "But could you please step aside for a moment? You're stepping on my necklace."

"Necklace?" the guy asked, his tone meant Yukimura was in a trouble already. He lifted his foot and looked down, and then staring back at Yukimura's face with a stupid frown. "This one?" he asked again and Yukimura innocently nodded. "What a pussy! Is this necklace really that important?" he barked, trampled Yukimura's roku-mon sen again and again with such brutal movement. "If it's really that important, ask you mommy to buy you a new one!"

"Stop it!"

Nobody knew where he got the strength and courage, but all Yukimura could see was red. Still, he was a reasonable man. Takeda taught him to become a man not ruled by negative emotion and use his brain before his fist to solve his problem. He clenched his lips and tightened his knuckle but made no actual movement. Talk, he had to talk through this before it went worse that what he expected it to be.

"Please, return it to me," he asked nicely.

"Make me."

And that was it. Yukimura tackled the guy down and tugged his necklace back from beneath the guy's feet. Even after the treatment it took, the necklace look mostly undamaged. Yukimura relieved the breath he had been holding in relief. If something happened to it he wouldn't know what to do. But it appeared that the necklace wasn't the only problem he had. The guys he just faced didn't really like the way he handled things just now. They looked fierce and dangerous before, but now Yukimura could read the invincible blinking warning sign pointing at them.

Yukimura stood up and waved his hand forward to calm the other side down but they wouldn't have it. The first man made his move first and stole the first punch on Yukimura's face. The young man stumbled from the sudden force he took and felt the corner of his lips tore. Really, why couldn't it ended with just a handshake like in manga?

Even though he hated it, Yukimura knew he didn't have much choice to take. Takeda gave him a special training and told him to use it only to protect himself, or maybe some special occasion. And this one seemed to be one of the conditions to get the approval. Yukimura wiped the blood away from his mouth and straightened his posture. He looked around quickly, searching for any weapon he could get. A long stick would be preferable, the one he could swing around and use to hit his enemy from long range. But seeing that it was too much to hope for, Yukimura decided to give it a go with just with hands and legs.

If Sasuke saw it, he would laugh at him for sure. Yukimura hadn't done much training since Sasuke went for his study, moreover after the disappearance of his parents. But maybe he hadn't get all that rusty. Yukimura was still able to control his punches and speed, gathering his strength and releasing it at the right time. He took two men down in about 1 minute after the fight began, only three left. The third guy he fought with was proven to be harder than the last two, given the fact that he was using weapon to attack him. Yukimura dodged most of the strike and kicked him on the stomach before he suffered from sever wound.

The two other guys didn't give him much challenge but they were still managed to give him one or two good punches. After some extra efforts, all of Yukimura's untitled enemies were lying on the ground breathlessly, not literally of course.

"Ouch…" he winched. "The last punch was really hurt," he said, rubbing his jaw gently to check for any damage. It was nothing serious but the pain was there for him to feel. It would leave a mark for sure. "At least my necklace is okay…"

Preoccupied by his roku-mon sen, Yukimura didn't realize that one of the guys had scrambled back to his feet and grabbed the weapon the third guy had discarded. The only warning he got was a shout from behind from someone he had never met.

"Look out!"

Yukimura spun around and saw the shadow of his attacker. Realizing that he was at the disadvantage side and didn't have enough time to defend himself, Yukimura shut his eyes tight and waited for the pain that was never come. He kept waiting for about 5 second before peeling his eyelids open. It seemed he was saved again by a mysterious figure. Yukimura gulped and saw the mysterious dark haired man in front of him. Was he the one who helped him?

"Ah…" he started, looking for a right word to say. The guy with eyepatch huffed and glanced down to face him, kicking the helpless guy mercilessly for one last time. "Thank you for helping me."

"Helping you? Don't you think you misunderstood something?" the black haired guy chuckled like an evil character from an old anime. Yukimura watched him awkwardly and waited for an explanation from the other man. Why would he save him if he didn't want to help him? "I did it for myself."

"What do you mean…?"

The man didn't answer him right away and walked even closer to him. "I saw you just now… and I felt it. The passion, the excitement… It's been a long time since I experience such a wave inside me. You're no ordinary guy, huh?" he once again laughed and Yukimura got a bad feeling inside his gut. "You're interesting, the way you stood there after beating these guys told me something I couldn't describe just yet. But I know better…"

Yukimura nodded even with nothing to agree with. Actually, he just disagree with the whole thing happened to him. And to increase his discomfort, his savior started to scare him slowly but surely. Maybe it was the right time to step back and flee. He already said this thanks so it wouldn't be rude of him to leave immediately.

He was just about to turn around when a gentle but firm hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him straight into the man's chest. Yukimura's nose bumped into the man's expensive-looking blue shirt and he gazed up to look straight into his cloudless black eye. "The name's Date Masamune," the guy introduced himself like a cool guy he was. "From the moment I saw you, I know it was fate," that sounded cheesy and flirty but Yukimura couldn't bring himself to laugh, only twitch a little. Masamune wiped the oozing blood on Yukimura's lips and smiled so sweetly it was sickeningly hazardous. "And for you know, I will never let anything interesting get away from my sight. You're mine, Kitten," he liked Yukimura's blood on his finger seductively.

Okay, that sounded totally flirty and dangerous. Another weird and hostile creature appeared in Yukimura's life. And somehow Yukimura knew this wouldn't be the end of it.

I don't really know what to say, but... that's all for now. I'm not really sure if it's good or bad, I'll leave it for you guys to decide. And again, I did try my best so I hope you guys enjoyed it. Please share you thought about it with me, it'll be a huge help for me to improve myself and the story. And same as before, the question's still valid. Who should end up with Yukimura in the end? Masamune? Ieyasu? Or Mitsunari?

And again, thanks for reading! Please review!