A/N: So…this has major spoilers for the Lily/Severus themes of the Deathly Hallows. Yeah. Angsty. Bittersweet. R&R?
Severus closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose sharply, the crisp night air chilling him through the many layers of clothing he wore. He felt the sting of the saltwater on his face as he silently cried, pale, elegant fingers tight around the bouquet of lilies.
He stood there, under the evening stars at Lily Evans-Potter's grave. Crying. The tears rolled down his face as he stood, shoulders shaking, onyx eyes fixed ahead of him. He swallowed thickly.
Lily. His Lily was gone. And there was the hold that would never be sewed back up again. He would never be whole again.
Severus shivered as a cold gust of wind blew straight through him. It was far past the time he was supposed to return to Hogwarts, but he just couldn't seem to move. He'd Apparated here, just before the Halloween Feast had started.
He couldn't bear with the fact that Harry Potter could laugh and smile and celebrate his mother's death. Every year, Severus had to sit there and watch the insolent fool, grinning and having fun with his friends. It made Severus feel sick.
So, he was standing before his Lily, unable to bend down, deposit some flowers on the headstone and Apparate. Slowly, he forced himself to gently lay the flowers before the simple grey stone. They were pure white flowers, done up in a green ribbon and tied together.
Severus took a deep breath. He loved Lily. So much. A broken sob wracked his body as he struggled to regain control of his emotions. Suddenly, a voice bit through the night.
Severus whirled, a hand coming up to furiously wipe across his eyes. "M-Minerva!" He exclaimed.
Then, his eyes fell on the small, wide-eyed boy beside the Transfiguration teacher. "Potter!" Severus tried to force a sneer onto his features, but even to him it felt weak.
Here he was, sobbing his eyes out in front of Potter and his colleague. Did everything have to go wrong?
"Professor? Are you alright?" The third year asked timidly.
"No!" Severus spat, turning his back on them. "Does it look like I'm alright?"
"What's wrong?" Harry asked, taking a step closer.
Severus ignored the boy, clenching his teeth. "I'll leave you to it then, Potter." Minerva whispered.
The sharp crack of Apparition alerted Severus to McGonagall's departure. "Professor?" Potter asked.
Severus squeezed his eyes shut. "What?"
"Are you here to mourn my mum?" Harry inquired.
The words hit Severus like a speeding freight train, the icy intelligence behind the statement crashing over him. He nodded blindly in response.
Then, he felt Potter gently touch his elbow. "Thank you. I miss her too."
Severus nodded again.
Potter looked up at him. "I think she would have been glad that we're here. Professor Dumbledore told me that you and her were close." Potter said innocently.
Severus bit back another sob and sat down abruptly on the cold ground. Potter followed suit. "Yes. We…we were close."
"She'd be happy, wouldn't she? That we're here?"
"I honestly don't know, Potter." Severus forced out through clenched teeth.
"Oh." Potter hesitated only briefly. "Did you love her?"
Severus swallowed before nodding. "Yes." He had no idea why he had said that.
He felt…Lily would have wanted him to. For his Lily, then. Severus turned to glance at Potter. The emerald eyes framed by the wiry glasses were bright with tears as the raven-haired man extened his hand to Potter.
Potter took his hand and held onto it for dear life. "I love her too, Professor."
"I know." Severus Apparated them back within the grounds of Hogwarts, then took his wand out. "Obliviate."