Entry #8 – AH

Truly Anonymous Twilight O/S PP Contest

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Title: A broken heart starts with a broken love
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Summary: Dear Edward, I know now why you left. If anything, I want you to be happy. But damn it, you broke my heart! Yours forever, Bella.

Warnings and Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer and Summit own the rights to the Twilight franchise and its affiliates. This o/s, however, is the product of my own imagination. No copyright infringement intended, but also, please don't copy as your own.

A/N Thanks to Bella_Barbaric and poetintraining576 from Project Team Beta for beta'ing this for me. Your feedback helped heaps!

A Broken Heart Starts With a Broken Love

My dearest Edward,

I don't even know why I'm writing this, why I'm sending you this letter.

It won't change anything.

Yet, I have this aching need to let you know. To tell you what you mean to me. What 'us' meant to me.

What you still mean to me.

I know now why you left. Left me. It didn't make sense at the time, but when I saw the announcement in the paper last week...

Renata Carignano.

Of course. It all makes sense now.

She's Italian nobility.

Why would you be with little ole me - a small-town girl with divorced parents and a hefty student loan - when you could be with someone like yourself, who comes from money and privilege, who's cultured and sophisticated? I don't blame you for it.

If anything, I want you to be happy. With me, preferably, but I know that is just wishful thinking. Clearly, she makes you happy – you're marrying her, after all – and that is enough.

But, Edward, damn it, you broke my heart! You left me on that bridge. You just walked away, didn't even look back. I was devastated! After all that we shared, all that we've been through… We had already built a life together, and all those plans for the future… How could you just walk away from that, from us?

Remember when we met? I had been crushing on you for years, but it took me stumbling into your life in the school library for things to get started. It was natural, easy as breathing, to be with you, to grow with you. We took our high school romance through college, then grad school, and we still worked.

When did our love get broken?

Remember our coffee dates in between classes? Our lazy Sunday brunches, tangling our legs underneath the table? Remember just lounging on a park bench, your head in my lap as I worked my fingers through your hair? I can still feel the silky texture of it, can still smell your cologne, can still feel your embrace…

Remember spending all day in bed making love? We fit together so perfectly, like you were made for me; your heart and your body. I was never more alive than when I was in your arms, in our bed, kissing you, breathing you in, being one with you.

When did that become less than enough?

I didn't even feel you slipping away from me, though it must have been obvious. Looking back, our friends, your family, they must have seen it coming. I remember the way Alice looked at me afterwards; it was as though she had been expecting it and she pitied me for being so blind. But when I asked her about it, she wouldn't tell me what she knew. That was before she cut all ties with me. So in a way, I didn't only lose you, but also your entire family, when you left me.

And to then find out that you're getting married, mere weeks after you left? That hurts, Edward. I deserved better than that.

I'm moving out of our apartment, starting over in a new place. It hurts too much to stay here, in our home, knowing you're in the same city, with her.

I just wanted to tell you this:

I love you.

No, I loved you.

You were my first. My first crush, my first kiss, my first love.

My first everything.

My first broken heart.

I won't bother you anymore after this. Wouldn't want to upset your new wife, right? I wish you all the best on this path you've chosen. But know that you'll always be in my heart and in my thoughts.

Yours forever,