Entry #32

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Title: Wish for Vodka

Picture Prompt Number: #41 and #13 inspired me.

Pairing: Carlisle

Rating: M for language.

Word Count (minus A/N and Header): 449

Summary (250 characters or less, including spaces and punctuation): The clock's ticking. So is the ECG, love. And I'm right here, waiting.

Warnings and Disclaimer: Angst and character death.

.oOo.

Three hundred and sixty one. Sixty two. Sixty three.

I'm counting along with the ECG, sweetheart. It just keeps beeping, slowly. There's no difference in you. You're broken beyond help. And why isn't there a smile on your beautiful face? You always smile. I noticed that about you, for the small time I was allowed to be near you.

I remember when we first met. You were so fucking adorable, hiding behind your caramel hair, your shy eyes darting to me almost every second. You had fallen from a tree and sprained your ankle. I remember your dad scolding you for being so naughty, for being the girl who climbed trees.

You were so distant that day. There was a permanent crevice in your forehead. I asked you why. You told me that you were engaged.

My heart cracked that moment, but I smiled, for you.

I told myself that it wouldn't work out. I didn't understand how it possibly could. You were only seventeen. I was…well nearly three hundred. You were human. I was a demon. I wanted things that you couldn't comprehend.

Now, you're in my bed, in my house. I'm so afraid for you right now. Can the venom heal your broken spine? Will it be enough for all the lost blood and bones?

I have so many questions, sweetie. Why did you jump? What made you? Who made you? Did someone push you? I will kill any imbecile who dared to lay a hand on you. Did I just threaten to—Damnit, baby.

I run my fingers through my hair; a habit I picked up from Edward.

Edward. He's my son, friend. Just wait. You'll love him just like I do. Trust me.

I sigh. It's been a while since he left. And then I realize what I am doing and chuckle.

Only a couple of decades ago, medicine and the phenomenon of human interaction were the only things on my mind. Now, they are secondary to you and my son. Never thought I'd change. But I did, over and over. First, when I bit Edward Masen on that dingy autumn day and then, now, as I'm waiting for you, my love. I can feel it creep on, baby. It's wondrous and frightening.

I wonder if you'll accept this change, accept me. I hate the thought of you leaving me after you turn, sweetheart. But I'll let you go, I know that, because you deserve better than a monster.

My whole mind is filled with thoughts, honey, holding more than I ever thought possible. It's fascinating. Disturbing. I'm so confused, love. I sigh.

Never, in my entire life, have I wished so much for vodka.