This is my first time doing something with Jogan so please don't eat me alive. If any gondolaers read this and hate how I do Jogan, I apologize. You've probably never read anything I've written because I'm inclined to Rane.
That being said, this will be Rane heavy. They're my OTP. Jogan was just a happy surprise that came along for the ride.
Here we go.
Dreams are complex and mysterious things. They've baffled people so much scientists become experts in understanding them; dictionaries have been written to try to explain what they mean, but they rarely do. Dreams are complicated and hard to believe. And sometimes, real life is, too. It can feel like you're living in a fantasy when reality is irrational, not impossible, but too good to be true.
This is how Shane felt everyday he spent with Reed. Ever since he first laid eyes on him, Reed had a way of forcing himself into Shane's mind, making everything Shane thought about him. Shane knew he was in love before Reed had to say one word. And when he realized Reed reciprocated this, that he loved him just as much, he wasn't able to believe it. That and everything after, every kiss, every smile, every laugh, every single moment spent with Reed felt like living in a dream. Too good to be true.
And now they were in New York, still together nearly four years later, and every time Shane saw him it was like the first. They had made it through the awful year apart while Shane finished high school, and now that they were here, almost done with art school, or in Shane's case performing arts, living together, Shane still couldn't believe it.
He sat on the edge of their bed, chewing on his thumb and completely lost in thought, mulling all this over. He still couldn't comprehend how someone as perfect as Reed could love him back, he deserved better.
He smiled when his eyes fell on the picture of the two of them together that hung on the wall. It was simple, just them smiling at the camera with Reed's head leaning onto Shane's shoulder. They both looked as happy as they felt, as they always felt. Fights were rare, and when they did happen both were quick to mend things as fast as possible, because to them, nothing was worth losing the other.
All thoughts instantly vanished as Reed walked out of their bathroom, drying his damp hair and dressed in silky pajamas. And even though he was dressed for bed and looking sleepy, he still looked breath taking.
Familiar Frankie Valli lyrics drifted through Shane's head as he watched him.
You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you.
He found himself imagining the tune of the song, swaying slightly and going over the words in his head as he watched Reed fix his hair with the multiple products he used to keep his curls soft and shiny.
Without even realizing it, he was shouting along with the lyrics of the middle eight part of the song, eyes closed and focused on the music Reed couldn't hear.
"I love you, baby! And if it's quite alright, I need you baby, to warm the lonely nights!"
A loud crash brought him out of his reverie, sounding from the side of the room in which Reed sat, having jumped at the sudden break in silence, dropping the bottle he was holding. Shane opened his eyes to find Reed staring at him incredulously with wide eyes and a slightly parted mouth.
He leaned down to retrieve the hair care product, never looking away from Shane, watching him warily. When Shane only grinned at him, Reed had to ask. "Where the heck did that come from?"
Shane answered without batting an eye, "You inspired it."
Despite still skeptically watching him, Reed blushed, turning back toward the mirror slowly, very faintly shaking his head. "You're crazy."
Shane didn't miss a beat. "Crazy about you."
He could tell Reed was blushing again from the way his movements stalled and his ears brightened. There was no response so Shane fell back on the bed, humming the tune of the song quietly.
Reed smiled from where he sat, wondering why it surprised him so much. This was typical Shane behavior. He got up, giving up on his hair and crossing the room to sit next to him on the bed. He sighed softly, shaking his head once more before whispering, "I love you, baby, trust in me when I say."
Shane glanced up at him, briefly startled before belting out the next line loudly, making Reed laugh. "Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray! Oh pretty baby, now that I've found you, stay!"
Reed rolled his eyes good naturedly, musing out loud. "Why am I with you?"
"I ask myself that every day," Shane said without thinking. At Reed's confused pout he scrambled to sit up, quickly clarifying. "I meant about you being with me not me being with you! I'd never do that! I know exactly why I'm with you." He calmed down a little, smiling gently. "You're perfect."
Reed's blush returned and he glanced at Shane bashfully, throwing himself face down on the bed, hiding his face in a pillow.
"Stop saying things like that!" His mumble was barely legible, but Shane understood it.
"Why should I stop speaking the truth?"
Reed merely squeaked, and Shane grinned brightly, poking his side. Reed's body jumped with the contact and Shane's smile grew wider, an idea forming in his head.
"Can you please look at me? You don't have to hide."
When Reed's head shook twice Shane decided it was time to put his plan into action. His hands automatically found their way into Reed's shirt, dancing across his sides and stomach. Reed screamed shrilly, thrashing around in a vain attempt to escape.
"Shane! Stop!" He managed before giggles started to take the place of his words.
"Nah, I think I won't." Shane smirked, moving to dodge Reed's blind kicks.
Through all Reed's squirming, he found himself on his back, trying to push Shane away with his feet and punch his arms at the same time. But Shane was stronger, and he continued to tickle him easily, his quick fingers moving over Reed's soft, delicate skin, making the smaller boy laugh loudly.
"Shane!" he cried, slamming his hands into Shane's chest. "Stop it!"
Shane grinned, saying nothing, and just listened, enjoying the sound of Reed's laugh reflecting off the walls.
"I-" Reed tried to speak, but laughs kept cutting his voice off. "Hate you…" More gasps and giggles. "So much."
"What was that?" Shane asked playfully, increasing the speed of his hands and making Reed squeal. "I hope it wasn't what I think I heard, because then I would be forced to take no mercy."
"Shane!" Reed screamed, kicking harder and trying his best to slap Shane's hands away. Tears were starting to fall.
It was then that Shane's head reeled back, a dull sting throbbing through his face. Reed scurried up, surprised he actually managed to land a hit. When he saw the blood on his lip he started to panic.
He jumped forward, trying to wipe the small amount of blood away. "Oh Shane, I'm so sorry!"
"Ow," Shane rubbed his jaw, "Jeez Reed, you'd think I was trying to murder you."
Reed glared, "You were tickling me to death, that's close enough!"
Shane laughed, placing his hand on top of the one that Reed had upon his cheek and held it there, staring in his eyes lovingly. A blush was finding its way back onto Reed's cheeks as he tried to avoid Shane's intense gaze, feeling flustered like he did each time Shane looked at him with awe.
"Are you ever going to stop staring at me like that?" He whispered hesitantly.
"Never," Shane answered simply.
Reed's face felt hotter and butterflies started kicking in his stomach. He didn't say what he was thinking in that moment, that he was relieved with Shane's answer because he would never want him to. Instead he kept quiet, leaning up to kiss Shane gently, taking Shane's breath away.
Reed's lips were soft and every time Shane kissed them felt like the first. His eyes were closed when they broke apart and he spoke in an airy voice. "I love you."
Reed smiled, glancing into Shane's eyes when they opened, staring at him with a gaze that matched his voice.
"I love you, too." Reed replied as he made his way into Shane's arms. "But I have an early class so you're going to have to stop tickling me."
"And what do I get in return?" Shane held on tightly, never wanting to let go.
Reed sighed contently, resting his head on Shane's chest and closing his eyes. "Another kiss?"
Shane's eyes opened reluctantly. He never was and never would be a morning person, especially when his nights of sleep were spent next to Reed, usually snuggling against his warm body. But this morning the other side of the bed was cold and empty. Because of that Shane knew his morning would be, too. He hated when Reed's classes were early.
He climbed out of bed slowly, heading to bathroom to get ready for his own classes. The faster they were over with, the faster he could be with him again.
Hours later found Shane returning to the apartment eagerly, arms filled with a bundle of sunflowers, Reed's favorite. It wasn't exactly unusual for him to do this. He loved Reed, why not show it?
"Reed?" He called, stepping through the threshold, finding the lights still off. That was odd. "Reed?" He tried again louder. "Where are you, love?"
He turned the entrance hall lights on, finding it strange that they weren't the only ones off, the whole apartment was. That meant Reed was either fine with the dim light of the approaching evening or he wasn't here. Which was weird considering his last class was over an hour before Shane's was, not to mention the fact Shane was late and this was Thursday, meaning they had to leave soon. Every other Thursday for just over a year they had both been seeing a psychologist after a horrific street bullying incident left them both hospitalized. Suggested by the doctor, Shane decided to give it a try, if not for his sake than Reed's, who got the worst of it. They had yet to miss a session.
A spark of worry ignited in his stomach, but he tried not to think about it. He put the flowers down, pulling out his phone and dialing Reed's number without looking; he had it perfectly memorized.
His heart dropped when a message he didn't expect started playing after the first tone.
We're sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error please check the number and try your call again.
He pressed end, dialing Reed's number slower, trying to push back the feeling of panic. Ever since that day he'd been terrified that one day Reed would be hurt, accidental or not, out there while he was alone. If Reed's phone was broken, then something must have happened.
He took a deep breath as the ringing started again, trying to calm down and tell himself Reed was okay.
We're sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error please check the number and try your call again.
"Fuck!" He threw the phone down, running a hand through his hair. He dashed for his keys on the table by the forgotten flowers before loud music made him jump. As soon as he realized it was only his ringtone, he was diving for his phone, hastily answering it.
"Reed?" He cried, hoping with everything he had that it was him. He didn't even look at the caller I.D. in his rush to pick up.
He wanted to cry when a voice much too deep to be Reed answered him. "Shane? What's wrong?" Dr. Roberts asked in concern. "You're not here."
Shane resisted the urge to shout. "Yeah and I'm not coming!"
"Why is that?"
"Because Reed is gone! He's not here and he's never late! He'd never go somewhere else without telling me!"
"Reed is gone?" Dr. Roberts asked, sounding far too calm for Shane to understand.
"Yes, aren't you listening! He's not here and he's not answering his phone! I keep getting this message that it's been disconnected or something, which means his phone is broken! He doesn't drive so he has to walk and even though it isn't that far I knew I shouldn't let him. What if happened again! What if someone hurt him!"
"Shane, you have to calm down."
"No! Don't you get it! He knows how I get about this since it happened, he would never go somewhere without telling me! Never!" Shane was getting frantic. Why didn't he understand? He of all people should.
"I know, but I need to ask you to stay right there. Don't move. I'll be there soon." He still sounded too calm, a complete contrast to the way Shane spoke.
"No! I can't just stay here, Reed is probably out there somewhere hurting, you expect me to just –"
"Yes. I do. Now stay where you are. Take a deep breath, count to ten, and don't leave the apartment, I'll be right there." He heard Shane gasp, and knew that he was crying. "And Shane? Everything will okay. I promise."
Shane hung up not feeling any better than he had before the call. He had half a mind to go anyways, forget what the psychologist said and search the streets. But the logical part of his brain knew nothing good would come of it, and it would have been better to wait until he had proper help.
So instead he paced the room, dialing another familiar number.
"Shane?" his brother answered on the first ring.
"Blaine! Is Reed with you or Kurt?" He asked, running another hand through his messy hair. He felt like pulling it out.
Blaine glanced at where Kurt was sitting on their couch reading. He sighed so faintly Shane didn't hear it. "No, Shane, he isn't." He could hear Shane stifling his sobs. "Wait… Reed's not there?"
"No! He's gone and his phone isn't working! Something must have happened to him! Something like before!"
Blaine was sitting up straighter, alarmed. "Reed is gone?"
At this Kurt looked up as well, eyebrows raised.
Why did Blaine sound so calm? Why wasn't anyone else freaking out, too? Why didn't they get it? Reed was probably hurt!
"We'll be there soon, Shane. Don't move."
Shane wanted to scold, but he was too worried to say anything else. He hung up, throwing his phone down once more. He drew in shallow breaths, trying to calm his racing heart and the churning in his stomach.
He couldn't focus. The only thought running through his mind was of Reed, laying on the street somewhere, bleeding and injured. Or worse.
He started taking deeper breaths, forcing himself to calm down. Reed wasn't hurt. He probably just had to deal with an emergency involving his mother. It wouldn't be the first time. But it was the first he didn't call.
Maybe his phone was broken on accident, Shane tried to convince himself.
But then he would use his mom's, or one of their work phones. He wouldn't just leave Shane to worry, he knew exactly how he could get after the incident because Reed got worried, too. Therapy was supposed to help with that but Shane still found himself out of his mind when he didn't know where Reed was. Much like he was now.
He jumped when the buzzer sounded, announcing the arrival of someone. He didn't even bother to check who it was, unlocking the door and waiting impatiently as the person reached his door. He opened it as soon as he heard the footsteps, finding Blaine and Kurt on the other side, looking winded. He wasn't surprised. They lived fairly close so they probably ran.
They entered, Blaine looking worked up, Kurt looking eerily calm. Shane thought that was odd, shouldn't it be the other way around?
"So?" Blaine started, breathless. "Reed is really gone?"
"Yes Reed is gone!" Shane shouted, beginning to get irritated. "And he hasn't called! Something happened to him, I just know it!"
Neither of the other two said anything. Kurt stared at his shoes, lips pursed. If that wasn't enough, Blaine's lips were close to smiling.
"What the fuck is wrong with you two! Don't you understand what I'm saying to you! Reed. Is. Missing!"
"I know!" Blaine exclaimed, stepping forward. He looked… happy? "But don't you get what that means?"
Kurt's head shot up. "Blaine," he warned quietly.
But Blaine didn't listen. Shane was too confused to speak. Why were they acting like this?
"It means you're getting better!"
His confusion doubled and he stammered dumbly for a minute before gasping, "What?"
Blaine still looked too cheerful as he went to speak, only to be cut off by another buzz. Knowing who it was, Shane let them in without stopping to think. He was still trying to make sense of what Blaine had just said.
"What are you talking about! You're not making any sense!"
Kurt stepped forward then, pulling Blaine back. He whispered in his ear too low for Shane to hear and just as he was about to ask a knock came from the door.
He opened it, not at all surprised to find Dr. Roberts there. His dark brown hair was ruffled from the wind and his glasses crooked. He smiled faintly as he straightened them and walked in, briefly acknowledging the others.
"Kurt. Blaine." With a nod to each of them. They both smiled at him tightly. "I suspect Shane has called you."
Before either could answer, Shane was shouting. "Would you all stop with this and listen to me! What part of Reed is gone don't you people understand!"
"Shane," Dr. Roberts spoke calmly, gesturing towards the living room. "Please sit down."
Shane wanted to start screaming. They didn't have time for this! But Kurt and Blaine were already moving to do so, Dr. Roberts following closely behind, and Shane realized if he wanted their help he'd have to listen.
So he sat down in the chair across from them begrudgingly, arms crossed. "Why are we doing this! Reed is still missing!"
Dr. Roberts eyed him patiently, speaking in a soft voice. "Reed isn't missing, Shane."
That stunned him. He stopped breathing, staring at him cautiously. "What?" Did that mean he was… dead? No. He refused to consider that option.
The doctor sighed while Blaine and Kurt watched him prudently. He looked at Shane intently, speaking clearly. "Reed isn't missing, because Reed never existed."
Kurt and Blaine collectively held their breaths, never taking their concerned eyes off of Shane, watching carefully for his reaction.
His face was scrunched up in intense confusion, and he was looking at Dr. Roberts in bewilderment. Blaine wasn't expecting him to snort. "What? Reed never existed? Right. Well, while you guys sit around here, coming up with stupid jokes, I'm going to go look for him."
He began to rise when a hand stopped him, gently pushing him back down. It was Blaine, his expression and voice sympathetic. "It's not a joke, Shane. I'm sorry."
Shane stared at him for a second, complete disbelief plastered across his face. "Wait a second," he sat back, shaking his head. "You actually expect me to believe that Reed never existed? What the hell is the matter with you! We're wasting time!"
"Last year," Dr. Roberts began, sounding patient and neutral. "Because of that accident, you sustained a particularly bad head injury, and your mind's way of coping with the trauma was to create something to make you feel safe, to create someone you could rely on, Reed Van Kamp."
Shane's heart was beating too fast, and he had to work just to get air into his lungs. It felt like someone was standing on his windpipe, trying to kill him. He couldn't move a muscle even if he wanted to. He sat there, completely dumbfounded, not comprehending a word that was just said, before he finally gasped out, "What?"
"Your brain created Reed to help you recover –"
Blaine cut him off, looking hopefully excited, "And the fact that he's now gone means that you are! You're recovering! Isn't that great!"
Kurt worried his lip, saying nothing. He knew why Blaine might think that, it hadn't exactly been easy on him to hear his brother talk about someone who didn't exist, someone he made up. All Blaine wanted since Shane's accident was for him to get better, and now that he apparently was, of course he'd be happy.
But Shane had his hair laced through his fingers, tugging and looking broken. It made Kurt feel awful.
He sniffed, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to come back. "You're all crazy. Reed exists! He went to Dalton with us, that's where I met him! He was your roommate!" He pointed to Kurt, who sank back, eyes drifting to the carpet. "How could I have made him up! That doesn't make any sense!"
"He was your coping mechanism. To explain his existence your brain made the memories that accompanied him. You had to make up his backstory, too. No one named Reed Van Kamp ever attended Dalton Academy." Dr. Robert's voice still sounded too melancholic. "No one named Reed Van Kamp ever existed. Your brain made him up. He isn't real."
Shane shook his head, misty eyes now overflowing. He refused to believe something so ridiculous. He just saw Reed yesterday, and now he was expected to believe there was no one there? It was crazy.
"No. You're wrong." He whispered, talking louder the more worked up he became. "Reed is real! I can prove it! We have pictures, all of his stuff is still here, I'll prove it to you!"
He jumped up, running into the bedroom before someone could stop him. Blaine's face fell, looking grief-stricken. Kurt rubbed his back gingerly, frowning. Dr. Roberts only held up a hand, suggesting they should let Shane go.
As soon as Shane was in the room, he was tearing through the dressers, looking for Reed's clothes. There was none. He rushed to the closet, the one that was used solely for Reed's vast collect of expensive clothing. He threw it open, only to freeze in horror when he found it completely empty. Tears sprang to his eyes and he ran in, looking for any sign of Reed's wardrobe. Nothing.
Back to the dresser, he frantically searched through the picture frames that rested there, displaying pictures of Reed and Reed only. He was stunned speechless to see they were all empty as well.
He fell back in a daze. None of this was right. All of Reed's things were gone, vanished into thin air. But he knew Reed was real, he just knew it. They must have taken everything for the sake of the joke. He didn't know why, it wasn't funny. And he certainly wasn't laughing.
Just as he was about to walk out of the room and yell at them for going too far, his eyes fell upon the picture of the wall, the same one he had been staring at while Reed took a shower the night before. It was supposed to display the two of them with Reed's head on his shoulder. But instead it was only Shane, smiling at the camera, alone.
His heart stopped. This wasn't possible.
He jumped up, snatching the picture off the wall and storming into the living room.
"What the fuck is this shit!" Shane screamed, through the frame down and not even flinching when it shattered, sending glass everywhere. Blaine watched his brother in fear, Kurt wincing and trying not to cry. "You took everything! You took all of his possessions!"
Blaine leapt up, ignoring Kurt's call and the doctor's look. "No, Shane, we didn't take anything." He tried to reason, staring into Shane's glossy eyes with his own hope filled ones. "We didn't anything because it was never there!"
Shane ignored him, hiding his face behind his hands as he broke down. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to think. Blaine tried to put a comforting hand on his arm but Shane threw it off violently. He didn't want to be touched by the person who was trying to take Reed away.
"This is sick," he finally muttered once he was composed enough to do so. He was soon shouting. "You're all sick!"
"Shane please!" Kurt begged, standing up. "Listen to us, we're telling the truth!"
Shane snorted again and the noise sounded much more heartbroken than it had before. "No you're not. I know Reed's alive, I know he –"
He stopped talking abruptly, spotting something across the room, perched on the wall. It was a mirror. And he could see his reflection clearly, standing there looking a mess and crying. But there was something else about his appearance that made him stop. His lip. It was split.
Images of the night before flooded into his mind. The way Reed squealed and laughed when being tickled, the way it felt when Reed's elbow accidently smacked into his lip, the pain that was too real and vivid to be a made up, just like every other memory he had of Reed.
"He's real. How else would I have got this?" He gestured to the cut on his lip proudly.
The others had to squint to see, Blaine speaking up first. "What is it?"
"My lip." Shane began to speak excitedly. He knew he was right now. "I was tickling him last night and accidently hit me. It split my lip, and I still have the mark. How do you explain that?"
Blaine's face was set in a deep frown and moved back to sit beside Kurt solemnly, now knowing his brother wasn't going to let go and see reason.
Dr. Roberts was quick to provide explanation. "You could have attained that any number of ways, Shane. But I can assure you it wasn't the work of someone who wasn't there."
"Shut up!" Shane shouted. He was becoming frantic again. "You don't know anything! He was there!"
The doctor now sighed, standing up slowly. "I really wanted to do this without hospitalizing you. But if you continue to be hysterical and refuse to see rationality, I'm afraid I won't have much of a choice."
Blaine was up in the next instant, standing in front of him and trying to plead. "Wait! You don't have to do that, he can stay with me!" Kurt was beside him, nodding his agreement but Shane wasn't listening to them anymore.
The only thing he was focused on was the fact they wanted him to think Reed wasn't real, to forget him, and if he didn't they would take him away. And then he'd never have a chance to find out what really happened to him.
He sprinted forward, using Blaine's request as a distraction and grabbed his keys and phone, running out the door and slamming it behind hm. He could hear them calling his name, chasing after, but it only motivated him to run faster. He had to get away; he had to find a way to prove Reed's existence.
He arrived at the elevator just as a neighbor girl pushed the button. He thanked the stars he was able to make it in right before the door closed, just as Blaine rounded the corner with a terrified look on his face.
A sigh of relief escaped him as the elevator started to move, luckily going down. The girl eyed him curiously though her long blonde hair. Her name was Renee, Shane remembered.
"Are you okay?" She asked quietly, noting his breathing and tear stained face.
He turned to her, knowing that he knew who she was, if not just a little bit. "You know who I am, don't you?" He asked breathlessly.
She nodded timidly, "Just barely. Shane right?"
He nodded quickly, "And Reed Van Kamp. Do you know him?"
Looking thoughtful, she pursed her lips before shaking her head sadly. "No, I don't think so. Why, is he a friend of yours?"
Shane said nothing. The doors had just opened to reveal the main lobby, and he was running before anyone could catch up. He felt sick. She had to know Reed. If she knew him she had to know Reed, too. They were always together. He could even recall her once speaking to him, complimenting a painting he was carrying. She had never spoken to Shane before. So how could she remember him but not Reed?
Something was going on, but he knew it wasn't what they were trying to persuade him. Reed was alive. And he'd find a way to prove it if it killed him.
He practically threw himself into his car, starting the engine and tearing out of the parking lot right as he could see Blaine, Kurt, and Dr. Roberts catching up.
To hell with them
A loud ringing startled him after a few minutes of reckless driving. Glancing to the screen of his phone he saw it was only Blaine, a knot forming in his stomach when he answered.
"What?" he didn't mean to sound so harsh but how could he not be?
"Shane, please!" Blaine sounded close to tears. "Come back and listen to us, I don't want to lose you!"
"I don't want to lose you either Blaine but I can't lose him. I have to find him."
"But you won't!" Blaine cried. "Please, can't you see that –"
Shane hung up. It hurt to hear his brother like that but he couldn't listen to his lies anymore. He had to find Reed, and right now nothing was more important. And he knew exactly what to do, where he needed to go.
It was almost ten minutes later when he arrived in front of the large building that used to intimidate him. Now he felt nothing more than panicked determination when he saw it. Running up the first of many stairs, he eventually made his way into the desired office, slamming his hands on the desk of a woman who jumped at the sight of him.
He tried to catch his breath. "Hilde. Where is she?" The receptionist eyed him suspiciously. "It's an emergency!"
The woman eventually made to call her but there was no need. There she was, standing by the door and watching Shane with a disapproving eye which Shane was relieved to see. She always looked at him like that.
He rushed over to her, ignoring to receptionist's call of protest.
"Reed!" he called, studying for her reaction.
A knowing light sparked her eyes and Shane allowed himself to feel a glimmer of hope.
"Reed," she spoke fondly and Shane wanted to smile. Her next words completely erased the feeling. "Is that your name? I've always liked that name. Probably would have named one of my own sons that."
Shane's heartbeat slowed, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "But… you do have a son." A wonderful son.
She laughed her high pitched laugh that didn't sound entirely amused, it never did. "Me? Oh no. I never really wanted kids. Much too busy for that. Now…" She trailed off as her smile fell, looking over Shane's clothes with disdain. "Who are you again?"
I'm Shane! Your very much existing son's boyfriend! You know me, you've only met me about a thousand times! He wanted to scream, but that would clearly get him nowhere.
"So, you don't know who Reed is?" he asked numbly instead.
"No, I don't. But are you alright? You look like you're going to be sick."
Shane was sure he did, he felt like it, too. He could feel the gagging in the back of his throat that affirmed this and before another word was said he was running straight to the bathroom to empty to contents of his stomach.
This couldn't be happening. This wasn't happening. This was insane. There was no way Reed wasn't real. He could not have made someone like him up. He wasn't that creative. Sure Reed was flawless, but that's just how Shane saw him, it wasn't because he was fake. It couldn't be…
As soon as he looked into the bathroom mirror, seeing the cut on his lip, every single ounce of doubt left his system. Reed was alive. He had to mark to prove it. And he would find something else that would prove it to everyone else.
Seeing his lip made him remember just how soft Reed's skin felt beneath his hands when he tickled him, how beautiful his laugh sounded, running clearly through his head as if he was hearing it all over again. The scent of strawberries that was so strong every time he was close to him, the adorable way he blushed at the simplest things. There was no way he could have made all that up, he could feel Reed through all his senses, and you couldn't fake that.
Everything about being with Reed was magical. And now they wanted to take that away, to convince him he made the whole thing up. Every beautiful smile, every blissful laugh, every sweet kiss, every touch, everything. He wasn't going to lose that. He would fight to get it back.
As he made his way out of the bathroom, it was with complete confidence. Something was going on here, and he'd find out what it was and get his love back. Nothing was going to stop him.
Back in the car, he was speeding, not really sure where he was going. He had to think of a plan, he had to figure out something. But Reed had vanished without a trace, taking everyone's memories of him with him. He had no idea where to start.
He was pulled out of his planning by the sight of a tall, blonde head, and even though it was familiar, it was one he hadn't seen in quite a while.
He pulled onto the curve, jumping out of the car after hastily shutting off the engine. The person froze in surprise at the sight of him.
"Logan!" Shane ran up to him, noticing his hand was stalled on the door. "Wait, you live here?"
"…Yes?" Logan stared at him in confusion, not sure what to make of all this.
"Can…" Shane took a deep breath, attempting to be more composed than he was with Hilde. "Can I come in?"
Logan blinked, "Uh, I guess so." He gestured Shane inside and they walked to the correct door in silence. Shane was trying to calm down, to not start freaking out. Logan was trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
"So," Logan questioned once they were inside. "What's this all about?"
"Reed. Reed Van Kamp. Do you know him?"
He waited with baited breath as Logan's confused expression only intensified. "No… I don't think so."
''Well think!" Shane shouted. He was starting to lose patience. "He was your cousin! You went to Dalton with him!"
Logan shook his head, barely moving his shoulders to shrug. "I don't remember him. I barely got out during high school. The last two years were pretty shitty."
That didn't sound right. Shane shook it off, trying to stay focused on the task at hand. "You're telling me you don't remember your own cousin. You liked him, even though he was a Windsor because he was always the first one to defend you, telling everyone not to judge you. And no one else did that until Kurt came along." He didn't notice how Logan flinched at the name. He wasn't paying attention. "Hell, you were one of the ones that saved his life!"
Logan's eyebrows rose dramatically. "I did what?"
"Junior year. Remember? You ran into that burning building, not caring it was on fire or you could get hurt. I guess I still owe you for that."
Logan's face lit up with recognition. "Oh right. That was when some psycho took," He paused, drawing in a breath. "Kurt hostage up in the Art Hall, talking about how he was going to kill him. Fucking crazy."
"Yeah but, there was more to it than that…" Shane's head was starting to hurt. Everything that had happened today had him more confused than he ever had been in his life.
"All I know is that if Blaine and I hadn't gone into that building, Kurt might have died. So I don't really owe you anything." Logan shrugged indifferently, sitting down in a chair and leaving Shane standing there, trying to get his head straight.
"Wait a second," he muttered, taking a second to look around. Everything looked unnervingly clean and quiet. Not to mention the lifelessness of Logan's posture, though Shane could see his eyes clearly, meaning he wasn't medicated. And his explanation of Hell Night seemed lacking an important detail. "Logan, where is Julian?"
Logan looked up at him, looking more confused than ever. "Who?"