Author's Note: What's this? I'm writing yet another story while I still have stories to update? Yes, I know, it's awful of me, but this idea has been rattling around in the back of my head for the longest time. I'll work on my updates as soon as I post this first chapter, I promise you. Anyways, this is a bunch of songfics, surrounding Clare and Eli. Most of them will take place post-breakup, but I'll let you know at the beginning of each fic. Anyways, I do not own Degrassi and reviews make me smile! Enjoy!

Song: Love Bites
Artist: Halestorm
Background: I love this song and I think it goes quite nicely with Clare's guilty pleasure of vampire fiction!
Setting: Post-breakup
Warning: With this particular song, there is some Clare-hate in the portrayal of Clare. And I know this song is an ex singing about her ex and his new girlfriend, but I'm just kind of loosely basing this on just Clare and Eli.

Don't listen what your girlfriend says
She reads those magazines
That say you failed the test
You don't have what she needs
I slither like a viper
And get you by the neck
I know a thousand ways to help you forget about her

"I can't believe you're really reading that," Adam snatched the latest issue of TeenBeat from Clare's hands, "You can't honestly take this stuff seriously."

Clare grabbed the magazine back, and flipped through the glossy pages, "Of course I do. These guys are experts," she said matter-of-factly, "They know what they are talking about, Adam. For example, look at this quiz – Is He Your Perfect Match. That's important stuff."

"A magazine can't tell you who your perfect match is," Adam rolled his eyes, "Look, I gotta run before Eli um…"

"Yeah," Clare completely understood. Eli would murder them both if he found out Adam and Clare still talked on a regular basis, "It's fine."

"See ya around."

Clare waved. Adam just couldn't possibly understand the importance of TeenBeat. It had been her confidant and guide in so many ways over the years. Every question she ever had about anything seemed to be answered in an article, quiz, or advice column.

She made her way to the lunch tables outside and sat down. She decided to take the Perfect Match quiz…just for fun. What could it possibly hurt?

Now that she and Jake had broken up, she didn't really have anyone to take the quiz about. Clare sighed, and flipped past the quiz with its brightly colored diagrams and pink hearts.

But…if I am taking this quiz just for fun…I could take it about anyone, Clare realized. But who?

"Oh my God, you are so lame!"

Clare glanced up from the magazine to see none other than Eli Goldsworthy standing over her.

"What do you mean? And I don't believe I got the memo that we were on speaking terms."

"We aren't," Eli answered smugly, "but I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to relish in your female-teenager gullibility."

"Excuse me?"

"You honestly think a stupid quiz made up by stupid people looking to make money off of magazine sales can really predict if a person is right for another person or not? How can a quiz possibly decide something like that?"

"It does," Clare argued, "it brings up some really interesting points."

"Like…what is his favorite color and if it's blue, it means he is withdrawn and cynical and…"

"No," Clare lied.

"Whatever," Eli rolled his eyes, "You just go and take that quiz. Who knows, maybe it'll say something useful like how the jockstrap is totally…"

"If you happen to be talking about Jake, don't."

"What happened?" Eli asked, trying to hide his genuine concern. If that jockstrap had done anything to hurt her…

"We broke up," Clare tried to keep her voice calm, "He's with Jenna now."

"Oh," Eli flicked the magazine, "did this give you any advice on how to deal?"

"To move on."

"Good. You should."

"Yeah?" Clare still couldn't believe they were speaking. It was weird. Why was it weird?

"Yup. Anyways, enjoy your quiz."

"It's accurate, I promise," Clare said defensively.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. TeenBeat has never failed me before! I promise, it's one-hundred percent accurate."

"Okay, prove it."

"Prove it?"

"Yup," Eli hopped up on the picnic table and sat down, "take it about me. If it tells you I'm wrong for you, I won't make fun of your dumb magazine anymore."

"And you'll leave me alone?" Clare raised an eyebrow.

"Cross my heart."

"Alright then. Question One: What is His Favorite Color?"

"I thought you said they didn't ask such stupid questions."

"Black," Clare looked to the bottom of the page, "It says black means you're withdrawn and you're struggling with inner demons."

"O-ookay," Eli shook some hair from his eyes. Maybe the quiz wasn't as stupid as he had thought…

"My favorite color is…"


"Yes," Clare nodded, impressed that Eli had remembered, "And it says red means quiet and shy, but with a lot to say. It says I'm waiting for my voice. My most compatible color is blue, my least compatible color is black."

"Huh," Eli chewed his lip, "Next question."

"What is his favorite food."

"Oh Lord," Eli shook his head, "Clare, this is dumb…"

"Spaghetti," Clare read down to the bottom of the page, "He is romantic, but secretive about it. He has passion, but is afraid to show it. He loves to cuddle."

Eli made a gagging sound, "Yuck! Really?"

"That's what is says."

"Gag me, please."

"Well, you do like cuddling."

"Shut up," Eli hissed, "don't say that outloud!"

"Eli likes to cuddle!"

Eli grabbed her and covered her mouth with his hand, "Shut up, Clare!"

"Mmwerr wer weroo." (Translation: Well you do.)

He let go of her and sat back up on the top of the picnic table, "Let's just finish this quiz."

"Fine by me," Clare continued to read, "My favorite food is…"


"Yes. You have a cold exterior and have built up a wall. Only a few people know the real you."

"Ha," Eli smirked, "Cold as dead fish wrapped in seaweed."

"Shut up! My most compatible food is…this can't be right?"

"What's it say?" Eli craned his neck.

"It says my most compatible food is…spaghetti."

"Huh. Let's try the next question."

"Right," Clare agreed, "What is his favorite kind of movie."


"That's not an option. I'll just go with horror. It says you have trouble with your emotions."

"Yup," Eli nodded, "that's about right."

"H-how are you um…doing with…with your…bipolar?" Clare asked, not sure how to ask the question she had been wanting to know the answer to for so long.

"Fine," Eli answered vaguely.

"Good," Clare nodded, "my favorite is…"


"Yes," Clare smiled a little, "it says I am in touch with my emotions. My most compatible is drama, my least compatible is…"



"Is that it?"

"Yeah," Clare nodded, "our result is, ninety-seven percent incompatible."

"Alright, guess I can't make fun of you for that dumb magazine anymore," Eli hopped off the table, "you were right, it is pretty accurate."

"Well of course," Clare said religiously, "it is TeenBeat afterall."

"Well, see ya," Eli shrugged.

"Um…yeah…" Clare nodded.

Eli headed back inside and to his locker. Once he reached his locker, he slammed his fist against the little aluminum door.

Damn quiz in that stupid magazine! Doesn't she know those things are never accurate!

That bitch can eat her heart out!
Love bites, but so do I, so do I.
Love bites, but so do I, so do I.
Love bites!

My lips are pale and vicious.
You're foaming at the mouth.
You've suffered in the darkness.
I'll suck the pain right out.
So come and taste the reason
I'm nothing like the rest.
I kiss you in a way you'll never forget about me.

Eli wanted to just forget her. It'd be so easy to just forget her and move on with his life. But he couldn't. He couldn't just forget about her and move on. If only it were so easy!

Clare was constantly in his thoughts, invading every moment of everyday. Not a second went by when she didn't sneak into his mind and screw things up. If it were up to him, he'd just erase her from his memory and move on. Imogen seemed to like him…maybe he could start a thing with her or something.

She was cute.

But Clare would forever be in the back of his mind, not letting any chance of moving on occur.

Eli hadn't gotten a good night's sleep since the breakup. Every time he tried to sleep, he would dream about her, and therefore, he didn't want to sleep.

Finally, it was too much for him to deal with. He needed to forget her; he needed her out of his life.

When he saw her at her locker one day, Eli knew it was the perfect opportunity to confront her.

"Hey," he slammed her locker shut, nearly shutting it on her hand.

"Watch it, Eli!" Clare seethed, "What's your problem?"

"My problem is you!"


"For two months now, you're all I have thought about."


"You always sneak into my head and screw everything up. I haven't slept well in two months, Clare – two months! Did you know that? And it's all because of you!"


"You do this on purpose. You come into my thoughts and start muddling up everything. You're driving me crazy, Clare. I just want to forget about you. I want to forget about those months with you. I want to forget everything. I wish none of it ever happened!"

Clare felt completely shattered. Within a minute, he had completely broken her. How could he say such things to her? Clare's heart felt as if an anvil had been dropped on top of her chest. Sure, she was hurting from the breakup too, but she'd never want to erase the memories of him…

How could he say those things? How could he come out of nowhere and be so cruel? What gave him the right to just randomly come over and break her heart (again) completely haphazardly?

She was livid and hurt and didn't know what to do. Her head was spinning, thoughts swimming through her mind at a thousand miles a minute. He blamed her for still thinking of her. He wanted to forget her and erase her from his memories.

So then don't let him, the reckless thought swam past, and Clare froze. Her brain suddenly seemed to shut down; all other thoughts were abandoned except that one little suggestion.

Don't let him.

In one step, Clare was standing in front of him. In one second, she had him pinned against her locker. And before any logical thought could interrupt her, Clare kissed him.

It didn't take long for Eli to start kissing her back. The kiss was angry though. Every ounce of fuming passion they shared was unleashed in that one kiss.

Finally, Clare pulled away.

"Just try and forget me now," she dared, before throwing her backpack over her shoulder and heading to class.

That chick can eat her heart out!
Love bites, but so do I, so do I.
Love bites, but so do I, so do I, so do I!

It checks you in and kicks you down,
And chews you up and spits you out.
It messes with your sanity by twisting all your thoughts around.
They say it's blind they say it waits but every time it seals your fate.
And now it's got you by the balls it won't let go until you fall.
I was down and out, got up I said "Hey love I've had enough!"
I've felt pleasure without pain.
My soul you'll never tame!

Eli was angry – angry at Clare for kissing him like that, and angry at himself for not stopping her. All day at school, Clare crept into his thoughts, pulling at his heart, and driving him insane. His thoughts of her were dangerous and passionate. He couldn't take it anymore.

At lunch, Eli hurried to Morty and took off. He couldn't be under the same roof as her. He had to escape and get away from her – as far away from her as possible.

Stupid Clare and her stupid kiss.

She completely controlled everything about him – his thoughts, his emotions were all hers. He was hers. She still had him in her clutches, and Eli wished she'd just let go of him.

But then again…he had liked that kiss. He had enjoyed her anger, her passion.

No, he shook his head, trying to shake the thought from his mind. There was no way he liked it. There was no way he enjoyed it. It was Clare and he wanted her gone.

But it was Clare and his life would be so dull without her.

Who would he argue with and tease and fight with?

Imogen. He could go bother Imogen. It'd get his mind off of Clare…

But Imogen was no Clare. No one would ever be like Clare.

Clare was Clare. Clare was weird and geeky and strange and funny and crazy and insane and obnoxious and annoying and stupid and unbearable and irritating and infuriating and exasperating and aggravating and…

Eli Goldsworthy was insanely in love with her.

Love bites, but so do I.
Love bites, but so do I, so do I
Love bites, but so do I, so do I, so do I!
Love bites, but so do I, so do I.
Love bites!
Love bites!