a/n: so I love the idea for this one but I feel like I coudl've written this better :| womppp. oh well, this is for Laura because I love her and she loves Jagan angst. I own nothing!
Eight o'clock at night on a Saturday. Most teenagers would be out with their friends, probably at a party or something of the like. Logan Mitchell, however, spent his Saturday nights doing what he liked to do best - schoolwork. Some called him a nerd because of that but Logan always said that business went before pleasure, and Saturdays were the perfect nights for him to get his schoolwork completed. He had off from work and his three roommates, Kendall, James, and Carlos, didn't share the same mindset as he did, so he usually had apartment 2J all to himself.
But tonight was different. Tonight, the night Logan had to write a book report on Macbeth, James decided to stay home, instead of going to the movies with K
endall and Carlos. And tonight, when a James-type crises needed to be adverted, Logan was the only one there to help.
"I can't believe you're dragging me out here now." Logan mumbled under his breath for the umpteenth time as he followed James inside of the convince store. He pushed his hood off the top of his head, drops of rain falling off his clothes.
"Logan, your book report can wait. Hair gel cannot." James replied, his tone oozing with 'duh'.
"Glad to know where your priorities are." Logan rolled his eyes.
"Are you being sarcastic?" James asked, rummaging through the shelf of hair products.
"No." Logan replied, sarcasm at its finest.
James sighed. "If I buy you a candy bar will you stop whining?" he asked his friend.
"If you would've let me stay home and do my book report, I would be perfectly fine." Logan said simply.
"I didn't want to go alone!" James insisted. "And Mama Knight doesn't let me drive in the rain, I've only had my permit for two weeks." Logan sighed, and James added, "You're a good friend for taking me to the store."
Logan sighed again. "You're welcome I guess." he said. James smiled and went back to his hair gel quest. "Just don't take forever please." Logan added. "It's already late and I still have to-"
"Logan, your paper is going to be an A plus and we all know it." James interrupted. "And-" the brunette boy stopped short, watching a man walking inside of the store. His hood of his jacket was up, covering his eyes, and he had his hand in his pocket.
"Stop staring." Logan scolded him and James snapped his attention back to his friend. "That's so rude."
"Sorry," James apologized. "But I'm getting a bad vibe from him."
"James you get bad vibes from the elevator repair man." Logan retorted.
"He wears an eye patch!" James exclaimed and Logan rolled his eyes. "Seriously, my bad vibes are nothing to take light of." James added.
"Your bad vibes are a manifestation of your growing paranoia and result of you watching too many horror movies on Netflix." Logan explained.
This time, James was the one to roll his eyes. Logan didn't know what he was talking about this time around; James wasn't paranoid, he just learned to not be so trusting. And when strange, hooded men walk into stores, he didn't see a reason to trust him.
But with the way the situation played out, James wished that Logan was right.
Out of the corner of his eye, James had been watching the man at the register, not wanting to go over and pay until he was gone. Logan must've realized he was stalling, for the shorter boy took his hair gel from him and started towards the register, chiding him once again for being overly judgmental.
And that's when it happened.
The man pulled his hand out of his sweatshirt pocket, revealing a gun in his hands and raised it in the air, firing shots towards the ceiling. Bang, bang, bang- one after the other. Everyone screamed and dove towards the floor, hiding between the aisles. James reached out for Logan immediately, pulling him to the floor along with himself. They cowered in fear against the shelf, James holding on to Logan for dear life. Neither one of them spoke, their hearts were pounding .And despite the situation, James had the slight urge to tell Logan, "I told you so".
"Give me the money, now." the guy demanded, pointing his gun at the poor cashier, who was white with fear. "I said now!" the man barked, waving his gun threateningly at him. "Don't hurt him!" James blurted out, then instantly regretted opening his mouth whatsoever. His mother always told him he spoke without thinking, and this was a prime example of that. But he wasn't about to sit back and watch a poor innocent person get hurt; it wasn't in nature. But unfortunately for him, his big mouth had gotten him in some pretty deep water.
When James opened his mouth, Logan's eyes widened in fear. No, this wasn't happening, this was all a dream. He was going to wake up any second in his bed, and James was going to be safe.
"No, no." Logan whimpered as James was pulled away from him. His pleads went unheard and since James was behind him at the time, he went toppling towards the floor as James was pulled away from him. The tall boy staggered as the man yanked him towards the register and pointed gun at his temples.
At that moment, the only thought James could process was that he was going to die.
"I want all the money in your register now, or I won't hesitate to blow his brains out." he threatened and James' heart dropped to his stomach. The man turned his gaze on James, sending a shiver down his spine. "That's what happens when you try to play hero." he snarled at James.
James whimpered, feeling tears of pure fear gathering up in his eyes. He didn't want to die.
Logan ever felt so helpless in jus entire life. His best friend was being held hostage right before his eyes, like some twisted nightmare coming to life. Right now all he could do was pray that James didn't do anything else equally as stupid.
"Th- that's everything." the cashier said, his voice shaky as he handed over the money. "I swear."
'Now just take the money and leave' Logan thought desperately. 'Please, please don't hurt my best friend. Please'
"Great you have your money." James spoke up and Logan instantly cursed him in his mind. Why couldn't James just shut up? "Now let me go, and we can all be on with our night." he added.
The man's glare hardened.. "You know what kid?" he pulled the gun away from James' head for a brief second, just to cock it and reposition it against James' temple. "Someone should really teach you to shut up."
"NO!" Logan didn't even have to think about what he was going to do next. He leapt up and dove towards James, pushing him out of the way of the gunman's fire. A second later, a shot rang out and two bodies crumpled to the floor.
James felt a sharp pain in the back of his head, exploding throughout his skull, and the wind was knocked out of him as something hard hit his stomach and chest. For a minute he couldn't breathe, he couldn't think, he couldn't move.
For a good minute, he thought he had actually died.
And then it hit him, there was something off about the way his chest was suddenly went and sticky, and the smell of blood was protruding the air. And then he remembered Logan, who was laying on his chest, eyes closed and a bullet wound in his back.
"No." he gasped, pushing himself up into a sitting position. He didn't know if the robber was still in the store, he didn't know if the police were on their way- all he knew was that Logan was hurt and it was all his fault. "No, no, Logan, NO." he shook the smaller boy gently and patted his cheeks, trying to wake him up, even if just for a minute. "Logan, you can't be dead, please don't be dead!" he pleaded, tears sliding down his face.
Logan's eyes fluttered and for a second, James had a brink of hope that Logan was going to be okay. As soon as his eyes opened, his face contorted into a look of pain and he whimpered out, "It hurts Jay."
James never felt more horrible in his entire life. That should be him, not Logan. "I know bud." he said, even though he really didn't know. He didn't even know what to do to make sure Logan wasn't going to hurt anymore. All he could do was sit there, hold his friend, and cry. "You're going to be okay, Logan." he continued. "You're going to be okay." he repeated, mostly for himself because Logan really needed to be okay. He had to, or James wouldn't be able to live with himself.
Logan nodded, believing James' words, and his eyes started to shut again. "No, no, no, c'mon Logan, you have to keep your eyes open." James pleaded. "Logan, please!"
James kept repeating Logan's name as the boy's eyes fluttered shut, and as the ambulance came in and pulled Logan from his arms. He kept shouting, crying, "Logan! Logan!" desperate for his friend to answer him in some way, shape, or form, but he never did. A police officer held James back and he watched with tear filled eyes as Logan was loaded onto a stretcher, hooked up to a machine, and placed in the ambulance.
And the entire time, all he could think of was that it should be him.
. . .
James hated waiting. He hated not knowing if Logan was okay or not. He hated the way Kendall, Carlos, Mrs. Knight, and Katie were all watching him, as if they expected him to just break any second. He hated this entire situation he was. He just hated everything at the moment. But more than anything, he hated the nagging little voice in the back of his head reminding him hat it should be him in the operating room, not Logan.
"Family of Logan Mitchell?"
James was the first of them to rush up to the doctor, the other four closely behind him. "I'm one of Logan's doctor, Dr. Harrison." he introduced himself.
"How is he?" James demanded, not caring whatsoever about the doctor's name.
Logan's doctor sighed. "I can only disclose personal information like this with family members-"
"We are his family!" James interrupted. "He's my brother, please just tell me if he's okay!"
Dr. Harrison pursed his lips. "Okay." he finally said. "When the bullet hit Logan, his aorta was punctured and we've been working to repair the damage."
"His aorta?" James asked. "Wh- what does that even mean?"
"James, calm down." Kendall murmured to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm not going to calm down, Kendall!" James snapped, feeling his 'keep it cool' resolve crumbling greatly. "Logan's hurt right now and it's all my fault, so I'm not going to calm down!" James couldn't take this anymore- he couldn't be in this place. He needed air, he needed to breathe. Without a second thought, he stormed away from everyone and rushed outside, shoving the door open roughly. As soon as he was outside in the cool nighttime air, he shut his eyes, apathetic to the tears rolling down his cheeks, and he leaned against the outer walls of the hospital, sinking down to the ground and pulling his knees up to his chest. He let out a harsh sob and hugged his knees tightly.
This wasn't fair. Logan shouldn't have to be operated on right now. His aorta shouldn't be punctured. It should be him.
Logan shouldn't have pushed James out of the way.
. . .
Hours later, Logan was finally out of surgery and into a room, recovering from the operation. It was late but the hospital staff let the Knights, Carlos, and James stay to see how Logan was holding up. Kendall, Katie, Mrs. Knight and Carlos were all in his room, waiting for him to wake up, while James was still seated outside of the hospital, unable to face anyone. He just felt so guilty for putting everyone through this, making them all worry. He couldn't forget the way Kendall had dropped the phone when he called them, the way Carlos had started crying when James had to repeat the news to him. It had all been his fault.
"Hey," James turned his head to he side to see Kendall and Carlos walking outside to where he was sitting. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, and his two friends knelt down beside him. "Are you okay?" Kendall asked him.
"Amazing." James replied sarcastically.
Kendall sighed. "James, none of us blame you for what happened." he told him.
"You should, it was my fault anyway." James replied stubbornly.
"James you can't put all the blame on yourself." Carlos insisted. "Kendall's right, we don't blame you."
"And Logan's okay." Kendall added. "His surgery went fine and he woke up just a little bit ago." he paused to see if James was listening. "He wants to see you." he said.
James sniffled and wiped his eyes again. "I don't know if I can see him." he admitted. "I- I can't even think about him with remembering everything that happened."
"I think you should talk to him James." Kendall said gently.
"He really wants to see you." Carlos added. "He's been asking about you since he woke up."
James chewed on his bottom lip. "I don't-"
"C'mon, get up." Kendall told him, his leader instincts kicking in. He and Carlos pulled James to his feet and held onto his arms as they walked him back inside the hospital and to Logan's room.
Outside of Logan's room, James planted his feet firmly on the ground and refused to enter. "Just give me a minute, please?" he asked Carlos and Kendall, who in turn, let him go. The two of them went inside without him, then shortly after left again with Katie and Mrs. Knight.
James took that as his cue to go inside. Holding his breath just slightly, he turned the knob of Logan's door and quietly walked inside.
"It's about time." Logan's soft and tired voice startled James to the point where he actually jumped a little. He couldn't bear to look at his friend right now, so he kept his eyes glued to the floor. "You can come closer you know." Logan told him.
"I'm, uh, I'm okay." James said, his voice low and shaky.
Logan sighed. "Come here James." he told him softly. "Please?"
Licking his lips, James let out a shaky breath and slowly made his way over to Logan's bedside. When he was finally close enough to him, Logan reached out to cup his chin, raising his head. With teary eyes, James looked at Logan. He was pale and looked exhausted. He was sure his hospital gown was covering the damage done by the bullet and the operation but James knew it was there. There were scars hidden, scars that couldn't be healed, the scars that he caused. A tear streaked James' cheek as he whispered, "I'm so sorry Logan."
Logan managed not to break down himself and he reached for James' hand, holding it tightly. "You have nothing to be sorry for Jay." he told him.
"How can you say that?" James asked him. "It's my fault that you're in here, and it's my fault that you got shot."
"James, it's not. Please don't blame yourself for this." Logan begged him.
"I do." his friend said stubbornly.
Logan managed to roll his eyes, even though the action alone seemed to tire him out. "James, I'm okay." he told him. "That's all that matters. You can't blame yourself for me wanting to save your life." Those words caused more tears to stream down James' cheeks and Logan gave his hand another tight squeeze. "Hey," he whispered and James wiped at his eyes with his free hand. "Tell me this, if it were me being held hostage instead of you, would you have pushed me out of the way."
"In a heartbeat." James replied honestly.
Logan smiled softly. "I knew you would. And that's why I did it for you- that and because you're my best friend and my brother, and I couldn't imagine my life without you."
James choked on a sob. "I owe you big time Logan." he told him.
"You don't." Logan insisted. "Because truth be told, I would do it again without even hesitating."
James couldn't take it anymore, he bent down and pulled Logan into a gentle hug, burying his face in his friend's shoulder and crying. Logan finally let his own tears fall as he hugged James as tight as he could. "I love you James." he murmured into James' ear.
"I love you too Logan." the brunette boy choked out. And he meant it. Logan was one of the best friends he could've asked for, and exactly how many people can say their best friend actually took a bullet for them? James was lucky to have Logan.
He was lucky he had someone who loved him enough to save his life.