Chapter one The Sorting

GRYFFINDOR

That's strange. I'm not brave in heart, and I don't have daring, bravery or chivalry. (I'd better put the hat back on the stool, so everyone won't laugh at me as they did at the boy-with-the-escaping-toad.) Though their laughter wasn't the cruel kind I've always heard before. Why not Hufflepuff? I think I'm just to everyone (and Hagrid called me "Just Harry" with a big grin on as much of his face as I could see); I'm loyal to my family – I do everything they tell me; and I'm certainly unafraid of toil: I cooked the breakfast, brought in the letters, washed the dishes, mowed the lawn, did everything the family told me to. THANK GOODNESS THE HAT DIDN'T MAKE ME GO INTO SLYTHERIN, EVEN THOUGH IT WANTED TO!

So I'm in Gryffindor, with the clever girl (witch? I though they were ugly old women who were burned to death years ago; but Hagrid said my mum was one) who has already learnt all the text books by heart, and was able to work all the spells she tried. My friend Ron doesn't like her, but she was helping the boy-with-the-toad – Trevor? No, that was the toad. I wonder why the only pets allowed are owls, toads, cats and rats? The owls are magic – you just tell them who you want to send your letter to, and they know where he is. I can't send Hedwig to the family, though – they'd lock me under the stairs again. But the rat just sleeps when he's not biting Crabbe's finger, and Trevor always tries to run away. It's good Hedwig doesn't try to get away, I'd never be able to catch her, even on a flying broom.

GREAT! RON'S IN GRYFFINDOR TOO!

The headmaster wanted to say a few words, but I don't understand them. Well, I've been called a nitwit often enough, and Dudley used to tweak my ears before I learned to run away from him, and Dudders blubbers :D whenever he isn't given what he wants straight away; and all those words are a bit strange, so perhaps that makes them Oddments?

Percy Weasley is a Prefect, but he says the Headmaster is a bit mad. I don't think they'd make him headmaster of a huge school like this if he was mad. And Hagrid said he's a great man. The chocolate frog card said he is considered by many to be the greatest wizard of modern times. Percy's wrong, or perhaps he was joking.

WHAT A WONDERFUL MEAL.

That, er, Baron ghost is really frightening, and that's where the hat wanted to put me!

The Irish boy has a muggle father. Both the clever girl's parents are dentists. The toadboy :D is brought up by his grandmother, so perhaps Voldemort killed his parents, too. I must ask him when I can remember his name.

Ouch! When that hook nosed teacher looked at me – glared at me, really – I felt a terrible pain where that scar is. It has never hurt before. there must be some kinds of magic to make you hurt someone else. I must learn that one in case I meet Voldemort.

I thought Dumbledore was joking about the very painful death for those who used the third floor corridor on the right-hand side, but nobody else laughed, so that must be an important test, like Adam's apple in the garden of Eden.

All these corridors and stairways, filled with pictures of people who talked and walked and waved… will we ever get to bed?