A/N: Prepare yourself for short chapters! This is, like most of my stories, just an idea that I had to put down. It may not ever be completed, so if you feel like you want to take the idea and run, let me know!

"I don't get this at all," Alex whined pitifully. He heard Sam snort and glanced up to see his smirk. It was a sexy smirk, but still at his expense. "Do you understand it?" He shoved the book across the table, and Sam glanced at the page.

"Number one is sixty-five. Number two is thirty-three. Number three is-"

"I get it, I get it! Sorry that not all of us are geniuses." Alex rolled his eyes, and got a genuine smile from his friend.

"Here, let me see if I can help you." Sam pointed to the example formulas, and Alex settled down to listen. He hated math of all kinds, but he wasn't terrible at it. He couldn't help but smile a little as he watched Sam's expressions. The warm rise and fall of his voice was entrancing, and Alex didn't think he'd ever be as happy as he was with Sam. Sam noticed him staring, so Alex just gave him a big, cheesy grin. Sam sighed and closed the book. "You're not paying attention."

"Of course I am!"

"To the math," Sam specified. "Really, Alex, I'm not going to try teaching you if you're not going to try learning." Alex pouted and opened the book again. He glanced at the page, wrote the answers in his notebook, and shoved all of it into his bag. Sam's eyes went wide.

"Come on, let's get out of here. I know you love libraries, but I'm tired of being inside."

"I still have work to do you know."

"Then do it outside. It's such a nice day, it would be a shame to waste it!"

"It's California, Alex. Every day is nice." Alex stood up and ruffled Sam's hair on his way to the door. Sam hurried to pack up his things anyway.

Alex was waiting for him on a bench just outside the front door. He had his eyes closed and face up to the sky. The tiny smile on his face was all Sam needed to know that the man was content. He sat next to his friend and copied the pose. After a lifetime of running around in small northern towns, working mostly at night, he definitely appreciated the California sun. He couldn't help but look over at Alex again. His skin was tanned slightly darker than Sam's, and was perfectly smooth and flawless. He only had one scar, barely discernable, that only Sam had seen. Sam always felt so imperfect, with all his scars, but Alex always made him forget about it. He never asked about any of Sam's scars, either. Not the knife cuts, monster scratches, or bullet wounds… Alex must have felt him staring, because he met his gaze with a curious smile.

"You're beautiful," Sam blurted. Both of them blushed, and Sam laughed awkwardly.

"That's unusual," Alex chuckled and leaned just a little closer, so their shoulders touched. "You usually save that kind of talk for the bedroom."

"Shut up," Sam ducked his head in embarrassment, but couldn't keep the grin off his face. Alex used a lock of inky black hair to tickle Sam's neck. It was enough to make him twitch, and Alex leaned even closer. Sam could feel the other man's breath on his ear and shivered. The whole world around them dissolved as Alex whispered.

"I love you, Sam." Sam's breath caught. He didn't know what to say. "I love you, too," just seemed too… simple.

Alex stood up, and the moment popped like a bubble. He grinned down at Sam, a pink flush across his cheeks. "Let's get going. I'm starving!"

Sam woke up slowly. His eyes were fuzzy, and he really wanted to brush his teeth. There was a slight ache in his head; a friend of the vodka Dean had compelled him to drink. He sat up and stretched widely.

"Have a good dream, for once?" Dean asked from the table.

"What makes you say that?" Sam left the bed and headed for the bathroom.

"The smile on your face." Sam felt his lips twitch.

"Yeah… it was a dream I haven't had for a while." When he exited the bathroom, Dean was immensely curious. Sam tried to get him to shut up, but Dean's curiosity was driving him crazy. "It was about California!" Sam told him, aggravated. Dean shut up immediately. "From before I met Jessica. I was kind of… with someone else. It was just a memory from then."

"Oh…" Dean went quiet for a moment. "Did she break up with you?"

"No, actually," Sam felt a familiar ache as he thought about it. "Alex just… disappeared, one day." Dean sat up in his chair with a frown.

"Our kind of disappearance?" Sam shrugged and sat on his bed.

"I looked for any kind of sign, but didn't find anything. The next day, Alex's stuff was all gone, so everyone thought…" remembering that day hurt almost as bad as remembering Jessica's death.

"Thought she just ran away?" Dean was sympathetic.

"That doesn't make sense, though." Sam frowned. He hadn't thought about it in a long time, but he still felt the same. "The last time we were together, Alex said…" he avoided looking at Dean's sympathetic eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me about Alex before?" Dean asked suddenly. Sam shrugged and blushed.

"I haven't told you about everyone I've slept with, Dean. Do I need to keep a journal of them for you?"

"I'm just saying, it sounds like you were really attached to-"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore, dude. Drop it." Dean obviously didn't want to, but did.