A Sonnet for The Rain
Rain, to a child, it meant they could not go outside and play at the park. To a mother, it meant dirty clothing and a long day of indoor activities to entertain a small child. To a farmer, it meant his crops would be nourished. To those of the scientific mind it meant simply, the condensed moisture of the atmosphere falling visibly in separate drops. To this town, it meant another year of survival. But to Allen Walker, it meant being captured by his own personal nightmare with a host that would never leave.
Bone chilling air wiggled its way through the cracks of the old building that Allen decided to make into his own personal room for the time being. The pale boy shuddered each time the wind howled as he was certain the howling was coming from somewhere else, somewhere within himself rather then outside. He closed his eyes tightly, resting his head against the window as the heavy rain hammered upon the dirty glass. Slowly, he breathed in and out, taking his time, his nerves settling down. He was on edge, fearing that at any moment he might lose himself to the Noah within. He could hear Neah getting closer, purring in his ears, caressing his pale skin and promising him the bones of his loved ones.
He felt alone, he had no one to turn too for help. He had no one to speak too about what was happening to him. No one in the Order could understand, hell, he didn't even fully understand what was happening to him. Then when he needed his friends the most, he been taken away from them and locked away in prison. But as fate would have it, he had escaped from his cell. He had done well on his own, working as a clown here and there to earn his due. But nothing was ever so simple. No, as soon as he had grown comfortable with being on his own and dealing with Neah as best he could, the Order showed up in his life once again.
Rather, it was Kanda Yuu that made his appearance in the middle of Allen's show. Johnny made his appearance beside the tall samurai a few seconds later. For the first five minutes of them being near him he was scared. He was frightened they would notice him and be forced to take him back to the Order. After all, Kanda would be the perfect pick to drag his sorry Noah possessed ass back to the Black Order, however with Johnny being there…he wasn't so sure. The Order would of never sent Johnny along….not to recapture him.
His thoughts had been shattered moments later upon the entrance of a Akuma. That damn demon had ruined everything for him! It had attacked him, forced him into using Clown Crown in order to save a child. It had forced him to reveal himself to the two people he wanted to avoid more then anything. Kanda Yuu and Johnny had seen him and that was when everything went to hell in a hand basket.
He had to flee, he couldn't be near them. Not now, not with Neah tapping at his inner doors. He had to run and so he did. He escaped from Kanda and Johnny's hold and ran for it, he ran for all he was worth. In the end, it was meaningless to run away from his friends. His body had grown tried, his insides where twisted into painful knots from the wound deep in his side. He could feel Neah in him, crying to come out. Neah wanted to be born again, but Allen didn't want him. He didn't want to lose his sense of self. He wanted so badly to return to his former life, to live with his friends in the Order. Getting into mischief, eating all he wanted without a care in the world. He wanted to go back to saving people and not running from everything and everyone he cared for!
However, there was nothing he could do now as he could not turn back the hands of time to return to better days. He was now a lost cause and one that might hurt someone if they got to close. A fine example would be his friends, especially Kanda, who just so happened to find him for a second time. Allen could see him, he could hear him yell into his face but he didn't care. He couldn't focus on anything, even as Johnny came towards him, he couldn't function. His body felt like it was on fire. He felt like he might pass out as his heart was beating to fast within his chest. Something, something wasn't right within him.
Was it the Noah or was it the fact that more Akuma had shown up? He didn't know and he would never find out as he passed out on his friends. Even though he was certain he was within the company of friends, he felt as if he was endanger still. His nightmares got to him, he could see Neah standing before him, crying.
But was it tears of joy, stress, or rage? Allen didn't know and nor would his friends who rested beside his bed. For a week, he slept in silence with his mind screaming for help. He was begging for someone to take him out of this nightmare with the 14th as his campaign. He had clawed at his mind's walls, hit them with his fist and screamed as loud as he could. But no one heard him, no one but Neah who just stood there and stared at him, amusement clear on his face. The tears he shed must have been fake.
Neah approached Allen gently, resting a hand on the pale boy's hip and pulling him back. His second hand came to rest under the boys chin as he whispered into his ears, "They' can't hear you boy. No one can hear you scream when your with me." Neah chuckled softly.
"Just give in already…"
But Allen shook his head and screamed for Neah to get away as the dark Noah pulled him in closer. His long trench coat seemed to have gained a life of its own. It reached out and took hold of Allen, wrapping around his limps and fusing to his form. Slowly, the Noah was pulling Allen literally into his body. "Shhh," said Neah, "It won't hurt, you won't even feel a thing. I promise, just give in to me."
It was at this point that Allen woke up so suddenly, his pale eyes wide in fear. Where was he? How did he get in this room that was dark and who was that sleeping against his bed. "Johnny…" He had said softly when he realized that was who it was sleeping. Slowly, those pale eyes swept the room. There was no sign of Kanda.
Allen pressed his lips together and looked back down at Johnny. He wasn't moving, he hadn't even stirred and he remained still as Allen slowly slipped out of the bed. Carefully, the silver haired boy went to a small table that held his things. He scooped them up quickly and fearfully. For at any moment, Kanda could come through those doors and stop him, stop him from leaving. Allen couldn't have that! Johnny couldn't do anything for Allen and nor could Kanda!
Hell, they shouldn't even come looking for him! Didn't they realize how stupid they where being! BaKanda, he shouldn't of taken the order to go and fetch him! They should of known Allen would only run away again and he did just that. With Johnny asleep and Kanda no where in site, the silver haired boy ran away for a second time. He didn't care that he was in pain, tired, and could barely think. He wasn't staying with these people that could get hurt and so he runaway.
He ran hard and fast until the clouds poured down rain, soaking his clothing and claiming his soul.
Slowly, Allen let out a sigh as he pulled his head back from the window and clearing his mind on the past. He had found this cold house only an hour ago and now he was making it into his home, hoping that Kanda wouldn't find him here. Hoping, that he could escape his fate of becoming a Noah and hurting those he loved. He had to take control of himself, he needed to push the Noah far away.
"I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm all right. I'm in control. Everything will just be fine. Fine. Everything, just fine." Allen chanted to himself softly as he leaned back into the cold wall, hands coming up to settle over his eyes. Who was he kidding? He was doomed wasn't he? Kanda was going to find him and he was going to take him back. Back to that goddamn jail with the talismans all around him. But what if Kanda was here to help him? What if…he wasn't following the Black Order, after all, wasn't he supposed to be far away from them. What was Kanda trying to do? "Kanda won't find me, he won't. He doesn't care about me. He will just take me back to the Black Order. I can't go back. I can't. I can't. I can't."
"How long do you plan to mutter to yourself, boy." Allen shivered from the voice that only he could hear within his mind. No one could see or hear Neah but him, it was always that way. Even now, he knew if he moved his hands away he would see Neah. The Noah was standing before him like a Reaper, waiting for him to slip up. "Allen."
"Just shut up! Shut the hell up!" The cursed boy yelled at the ghostly Noah. "Now that isn't nice, boy. You're going to hurt yourself even more. Just like you're doing now. You should of stayed with Johnny, he could of kept that wound under control. After all, I don't need you dying on me."
"Leave me alone."
"Leave me alone."
"That's impossible and you know it."
"I said, leave me alone!" Allen screamed out, dropping his hands away from his eyes to glare at the Noah. But he wasn't there, no one was standing in front of him. The room suddenly became eerily silent and all that he could hear was the sounds of the rain bouncing off the dirty window. The young exorcist combed the room with his eyes before letting out a small sigh. "I don't care what you say," Allen said softly, "I won't let you have my body. I won't merge with you…I'm gonna stay as Allen Walker…for as long as I can."
"Keep telling yourself that, boy." The voice of the Noah was only a small whisper upon the wind. "Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?" His voice came out weak as he was far too tired to argue with Neah right now. With another sigh, Allen slipped off the wall to the left and landed on his side. A soft groan came from him as his clenched his side in pain. Maybe, just maybe, if he slept he could keep the pain away…and maybe…Kanda would give up on finding him.
It was raining after all and Kanda didn't like getting wet…the mere idea of Kanda wet, cold, cranky and yelling out foul language made the tired boy chuckle. Poor Johnny, he was going to have to put up with that soon. Allen almost felt bad about it and he would of probably, if he hadn't fallen back into his feverish sleep.
A/N: Hey guys, hows it going? Well, this is my first fanfic in a long time. So, I apologize for my rusty writing skills. I hope they will improve once again as I pick writing back up. I hope you enjoyed this opening to a, hopefully, great story.