Kate has a plan.

Has it all worked out.

She'd been given twelve weeks; had needed six of those to figure this thing out. Six weeks of nothing but holding, cradling, bonding; of pure bliss. Six weeks with her brand new babies - so precious and needy, with her almost-grown daughter – so helpful and beautiful, with her husband – so everything and always.

Six weeks to bask in the bubble of her family.

But now Kate has a plan.

And oh god, the plan hurts. With each rotation of the tires against the intricately paved driveway; it hurts. With each additional inch that separates her from her children; it hurts. She doesn't look in the rearview, won't glance in the side mirror. Can't watch the beach house grow smaller behind her as Rick slowly drives through the gate.

It hurts.

And as he turns the corner, she breaks. The tears flow hot and silent down her cheeks. She won't look at him either, can't look at him. She'll see them there; her girls. They share his eyes, both in different ways, but his nonetheless. Elena's always full of delight and wide with wonder; Erin's piercing the soul with even the most fleeting of glances. So much of their daddy in them already; they've stolen her heart.

Yeah, just like their daddy.

"We can go back."

His voice startles her but not as much as his hand, warm and heavy on her thigh.

"Kate?"

He takes advantage of the red light, slants his torso slightly in her direction; forcing her to look at him. She's sure he sees the remnants of her broken heart, barely dry on her cheeks.

"I can turn around."

"No," She shakes her head. "We have to do this."

She hears the exhaled puff of air as he accelerates through the green light. She sees the slight tick in his jaw.

"We don't have to do anything."

Yeah, she catches the sharp edge of his voice too.

See, Kate has a plan, and although he's supporting her, standing behind her - next to her, Rick doesn't agree with her. She covers his hand with hers, doesn't squeeze just simply rests it there on his. He's her rock; her foundation. She waits until he steals a glance in her direction to offer a meek smile.

It's appreciative - it's apologetic.

But it's time.

It's past time actually.

"I need this," she amends.

Because yeah, the plan may sound like it's all about the twins; getting them used to drinking from a bottle, letting them get accustomed to being taken care of by someone other than their mother, having them sleep in the cribs in the nursery for naptime instead of sharing the bassinet a mere foot from their mommy's bedside. And yes, they do need to be prepared for the day Kate goes back to work.

But…

Really? The plan? It's all about Kate; about her need for time. Time and preparation. She needs to start setting the groundwork for that day. If she doesn't, she'll never be able to do it; to strap on her badge and gun, to walk out that door, to say goodbye. To be more.

More than just a mother. More than just nightgowns and nursing bras, rocking chairs and lullabies, diapers and talcum powder.

Because yes, she's a mother first and foremost, but she's also a wife, a friend, and a daughter.

A police officer.

So yeah, Kate has a plan…


"I want that."

"Then order it."

Kate nudges his thigh with her knee. "No way, it would tear Erin up." She slaps the menu closed on a groan.

They sit at adjacent corners of the small café table. It's not fancy, casual really, but intimate. He knows Kate's not ready for fancy; can't go from nightgowns to evening gowns without some sort of middle ground. She needs to ease into it, and he's fine with that; more than fine.

Rick trails his fingers down the length of her arm, from shoulder to elbow before dropping his hand to pull her chair closer. They lean on their elbows, upper bodies slanted toward each other. Casual or fancy doesn't matter; she's beautiful. He can't take his eyes off of her.

When the waiter approaches Rick orders for them both; steak with a side of garlic mashed potatoes for him, grilled chicken and a plain baked potato for Kate. He makes sure to order the guacamole appetizer she'd been drooling over. He's not really in the mood for it, but he knows how much she loves it. It's the main reason they frequent this particular restaurant.

She lifts an eyebrow; waits until the server is out of earshot. "That's so not fair."

"A few bites won't hurt."

"I'll want more than a few bites. That's the problem."

He rocks her hand in his, "There's plenty of breast milk at the house..."

He doesn't finish the thought but it's still too late; he said too much.

Kate startles with it, drops her eyes, swallows hard. The vein on her forehead coming to life almost immediately.

Yeah, that's what he thought.

Because although she's recently started pumping and storing her breast milk so the girls can learn how to drink from a bottle, the only synthetic nipple that has yet to cross their tiny lips has been a pacifier.

And sure, tonight's not the first time she let someone else take care of Elena and Erin; Alexis has watched her sisters many times, but only long enough for a shower, or to catch some shut-eye. In fact, before tonight, Kate has never been more than two rooms away from them at all times.

To her credit naptime in their cribs has been the biggest step she's taken so far, but he's pretty sure Kate's plan doesn't really include her keeping watch from a nearby chair while they sleep.

Yeah, she may have a plan; may have it completely mapped out in her head, but clearly her heart has yet to catch-on.


Hey, I'm back!

Just a quick prologue...

Happy Castle Monday.