Chapter 1

My eyes flutter open when i hear the crash of something agents a wall. I jump up and scan my room for anyone there. But I'm alone. The noise came from down stairs.
I uncurl the covers from my body and sit on the edge of my bed. I glance at the clock, 12:30am.
Rolling my eyes I get up and make my way to my mirror. Blinking my eyes a bit to get a clear view. A clear view of the person I have come to be.
A small little figured teenage girl with long bark drown hair and equally dark brown eyes, but under my eyes were bags from the lack of sleep and what used to be my perfect skin now has a huge bruise. I begin to look down my body and see my arms. What used to be beautiful smooth arms are now full of scars and cuts. Each showing the daily battle of my life. I continue to look over my body and see my legs. My legs were tinny but muscular. And also have the occasional scar.
I get pulled out of my thoughts with another bang against the wall. But this time it's not something smashing up against the wall, it's someone being thrown.
I run to my door and open it and just listen, scared if I go down I'll be thrown too.
"You worthless piece of shit! I'm ashamed to call you my fucking son!" My father yells at my brother in a drunken rage.
I hear his fist hit Chris and a whimper after. That's when I run.
I run down the stairs and into the hallway and see what was thrown. A broken vase lays on the ground and just a few feet ahead, in the kitchen, Chris was pushed up against the counter by our father as my mother continues to criticize him for random things.
"You were suppose to be home at 12! Where we're you Chris Corradino? Out with some girl?" My mother yells as she stands behind my father.
Chris is not normally one to show his emotions to our parents but you could see it. He was terrified.
"No. I was with Madison. I swear!" Chris managed to choke out.
And that's when my father raises his fist again.
"Dad! Stop!" I scream as I try to pull him away from Chris before his hand can reach anything. But I'm not strong enough. His fist hits Chris with force and then he turns to me.
"What the fuck are you doing! Your suppose to be asleep! Get back to your fucking room." he says as he pushes me to the ground.
"I couldn't sleep with all the screaming." say as I get up off the floor.
Before I know what's happening my father has let go of Chris and has a tight grip on my arm. I feel his fingers dig into my skin and he starts to turn my arm. His eyes find my scars and he throws me back against the wall.
"You fucking dumb whore! Still citing yourself! I hope one day you cut the wrong thing and bleep to death!" he says through his cringed teeth.
I see Chris attempt to come rescue me, as he always does, but my mother grabs his shoulder and pulls him to the floor.
"Stay." She says as if he's a dog.
"Look at me when I talk to you!" My father screams to me. But I refuse to look at him.
He grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. He looked horrible, and smelt purely like vodka. His once soft hair was now a tangled mess and his once chiseled features were now unnoticeable. He was a ghost of what he used to be.
"I said look at me bitch!" He continues to say to me.
His grip on my arm tightening. I begin to feel his fingers hitting my bone. I scream at the pain and he just throws me down.
He turns to look at my brother and then at me again. He spits at the ground between us.
"Disgraceful little bitches." he says before him and my mother walk out of the kitchen.
"Are you okay Channel?" Chris asks me. Picking me up off the floor and examining my face.
"yeah I'm fine." I say pulling myself away from him.
Normally I wouldn't do this, but my head hurts to much from it smashing the wall. I walk over to the fridge to get me a ice pack. I place it on my throbbing head and walk toward the stairs.
"You didn't have to do that Channel." Chris says in a whispered voice.
"You would have done it for me." I say as I walk up the stairs.
I get to my room and open the door. I look around at the mess and then at my clock. 12:50am.
"Well there's no way I'm gonna sleep now." I say to myself.
I sit on my bed and take the ice off my head. I can feel it throbbing and that's when I remember my arm. I hesitate but look at my arm. It was already a dark purple and blue. Good thing I always wear long sleeve shirts.
I get up off my bed and start to clean. Clean and organize my room. Hoping that if I clean what's on the outside of me then somehow I clean myself. Somehow rid myself of he memory of yet another night.

I wake up on the floor of my room. I must have fallen asleep while I was cleaning.
My alarm had woken me and when I looked at the time it was 6:30.
"Shit! Were gonna be late." I say as I scramble to get dressed.
I pull on some yellow and gray sweats and a matching long sleeve shirt and Vlados. I stream of pain goes down my arm as I pull my shirt over my shoulders. The memory of my fathers fingers digging into my arm sends a chill down my back and fear through me. But I just brush that off and continue to get ready. I put my hair in a messy bun and fix my bangs. I put a little make up on my eyes and face to hide the old bruise.
I walk out of my room and up to Chris's.
"Hey. We gotta go." I say through the door. He opens it and walks by me. Trying to hide his face, but it doesn't work. I see his black eye.
"What are you going to tell the guys?" I say as I follow him down the stairs.
He grabs his keys and shrugs his shoulders.
"Well you can't just say you don't know. You know Madison will want to know." I say as we walk through the door.
We open the doors to the car and crawl in.
"I don't know Channel. What are you gonna tell Angelica about your arm?" He says as he pulls out the drive way.
"She won't ask. Remember, I have to wear sleeves." I say holding up my arms. Chris was the only one that knew I cut. He was the only one I could trust not to judge me.
He just nods his head to reply to me.
We both sit in silence until we get to school.