A/N: So I haven't been submitting as much as I usually do. GG has just thrown me for a loop and it's hard getting inspiration. But I'm still writing, even if it is infrequent.
Summary: "You're in my blood," he said. "You're beneath my skin. I inhale you like white lines. But you don't deserve this. We're going to destroy each other."
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Characters are not original and inspiration also comes from Sin City. Thanks so much to my busy beta comewhatmay.x who deserves much credit.
When he finally came back, she didn't recognize him. She had been of drinking age for two years now, and it had been two years since she had seen him last.
But that night, he swaggered into a place where he knew he would be abhorred by all of society, wearing a smirk. Society matrons looked at him distastefully as he whisked a drink from a passing cater waiter.
Blair Waldorf felt her face contort, tears immediately pricking her vision and her heart feeling so heavy she was sure it would drop out of her chest and break a hole in the floor.
"Darling." Blair felt her mother's hand on her shoulder.
"I guess you were wrong about him," Blair said distantly.
"If you'd open your eyes," Eleanor said, "you'd see that is the visage of a heartbroken man."
"Then where has he been this whole time?" Blair demanded. Manhattan's elite was swarming around her, but all she saw was Chuck shocking the guests with his very presence.
"I think the question you should be asking yourself is," Eleanor said, "why did he come here?"
Blair couldn't answer. She couldn't think of anything else. He was staring at her and she was more afraid than she had ever been. She knew that look. She recognized that look. It was the dead look he had carried around every year during December when the ghost of his father whispered in his ear.
He just watched.
Blair walked up the staircase without hesitation. She wasn't sure if she wanted him to follow her.
It didn't take long.
"What are you doing here?"
"Haven't you missed me?"
She turned around, the full-length mirror reflecting him. He was in the doorway and she remembered times when they were in this exact position. But she didn't recognize this man before her.
He closed the door behind him. She didn't hear him click the lock into place. That was what scared her most of all. He wasn't planning anything. Whatever this was, it wasn't full of affection. Just cold truth.
"You know the answer to that," Blair said. "Or, don't tell me—it wasn't you who sent back all my correspondence unopened."
"Could be," Chuck mused. "To be honest, my odyssey has been quite a blur."
"Where have you been?"
"Everywhere," he said. "Brazil. Amsterdam. Prague. Marrakesh. Thailand. India—"
"Stop," Blair said.
"What?" he asked, his innocent act making her ill. "Jack is quite the instructor."
"Jack," Blair stated. "You were with Jack."
"Of course," Chuck said. "Come to think of it, he gets all the mail. It might have been him."
"Don't you love me?"
And finally there was that spark. It kindled in his dark eyes. She knew that he was just wearing a mask for her. But that didn't change what he had done.
"Don't you understand?" Chuck asked. His voice was low and passionate. This was the Chuck she remembered. This was her love. "Why else would I have gone?"
"For me," she said doubtfully. He laughed coarsely. She flinched, but let him continue on.
"For us," he said. "Maybe. Do you really want to burn to death? Because that's what's going to happen. I had an epiphany."
"No doubt from your spirit guide," Blair sneered.
"Yes," Chuck said truthfully. "Looking at Jack made me realize everything I was meant for. Jack didn't let love destroy him."
"Like Jack even has the capacity to love."
"That's true," Chuck said. "And that's the point. Jack is a survivor. I could never survive the way I was going."
"It's been a long time, Chuck," Blair tried to say diplomatically, but he waved her off.
"Time may cure all wounds," Chuck said. "Or at least, not the ones seared into your heart. But it doesn't change the facts. The fact is we were never supposed to happen."
Blair couldn't help but recoil this time. She looked into his face, but didn't see what she expected. She still saw her real Chuck. He was being honest with her. And it saddened him.
"Jack is my blood," Chuck said. "Basses were never supposed to have a fairytale ending. We're shrouded in tragedy. Falling in love with you was an unfortunate mistake. I've only brought hurt upon myself when I should have just been looking for the next high."
"So it was all for nothing, then," Blair said, her voice thick with emotion.
Chuck sighed. "Don't take it personally. Of course I love you. I'll always love you more than I can handle. But that's the problem. You could always find other suitors, other men to love. I was always breaking myself over you."
"Then you're being selfish," Blair said.
"You told me to find someone else to love," Chuck said. "You do remember that, don't you?"
"This was your solution."
"I can't love anyone but you," Chuck said. "I don't know if you understand my complete destruction for you."
He was nearing her dangerously, but she was welcoming it.
"You're in my blood," he said. "You're beneath my skin. I inhale you like white lines. But you don't deserve this. We're going to destroy each other."
"We've been through this—"
"We have," Chuck said. "Tell me that you can't love anyone else."
"Not like you."
Chuck smiled. "That's not what asked."
"Just because I can love someone else…" Blair started. But she couldn't even finish the thought. "You've loved other people too."
"I've had affection for others, yes," Chuck said. "But I was just waiting for you. And now it all makes sense."
"So you're going back to being a playboy," Blair said coldly.
"Playboy. Titan." Chuck shrugged. "I haven't decided yet. I'm young. I don't have to plan out my life yet."
"What did he say to you?" Blair asked.
"It wasn't Jack," Chuck said. "It was you."
Terror crossed Blair's features. "I never—"
"You made it all clear," Chuck said. "I'm going to save us all a world of pain. Isn't that what you wanted? We can't be together anyway."
"You know that's changed," Blair said. "You would know that if you opened any one of my letters."
He wasn't angry. His hand closed around her throat, just to feel her pulse beat across his palm. He smiled at her with desire. She wanted to press closer to him.
"There's no place in this world for our kind of fire."
"What?" she asked faintly. She was growing lightheaded by their proximity. All she wanted was to feel him again but he was showing some kind of restraint. But he was saying it. He was telling the truth. She never wanted to get away from him.
"The fire," Chuck smiled. They were hanging onto each other and she never wanted to let go. "It will consume us both and you know it. We were never supposed to love each other. We're too passionate, too volatile. We'll kill each other."
"No." Chuck pushed himself away from her. "I came here to tell you that. That's it. Sorry I ruined your party."
"Your mother's party," Chuck amended.
"No," Blair said, stopping him. "My mother said you'd always come back. She believes in you."
"Don't go there," Chuck warned.
"Do you remember how she used to regard you?" Blair asked. "She thought you were just a phase. But everyone knows now. Even me."
"Even you," Chuck whispered.
"I was scared to be with the one person I truly loved," Blair said. "But now I know."
"Don't you get it?" Chuck asked. "I abandoned you."
"For two years," Blair recalled. "But who's counting? You can't push me away."
"It wasn't to make a point," he said. "We aren't fate. We were some mistake. You went off your path and ran into me. I just sunk my talons into you when we were never supposed to hold on to each other."
"Do you really believe that?"
"You believed some interesting theories," Chuck couldn't help but drawl.
"I got over it," Blair said. "Obviously."
"Go love someone else," Chuck said. "It's what you're good at."
She knew it wasn't supposed to be a condescending remark. She knew what he meant. And she was right. She loved more loyally and faithfully than anyone.
"It's too late," Blair said lovingly. She had grabbed him before he could resist, pulling him into a kiss. She felt him soften for a moment, but he pulled away. "You're the one I'll never stop loving."
He buried his palms in his eyes and she wanted to go to his side, soothe his burning emotions. He looked back at her. She wanted to brush his pain away but he just smiled.
"You'll always be mine," he said. It was supposed to be some consolation. She knew this. "Always. And never."
He stilled. For the first time he looked actually disheartened. He swallowed back his sadness.
"Maybe I'm not yours," he said with difficulty. He couldn't go back from his decision now. "But you'll always be mine."
"Not about that," Blair said nonchalantly, walking towards him. "We are always. Even when I thought we were never."
"And when could have that possibly been?" He was gruff and she wondered why he wasn't just leaving now. But there was still something between them. Even if he was convinced it was wrong.
"Don't torment me," Blair scolded.
"Why not?" he asked darkly.
"Because they don't understand it," she smiled. "You realize that's all it is. It never occurred to us that we could be. But that doesn't mean it's wrong. It's just unlike anything that there ever was. And I'm never going back."
"You said we weren't supposed to be together," Chuck said.
"And you said you wouldn't give up," she accused.
"You're holding that against me now?"
"I'm telling you everything else wasn't right without you. It's that simple. It just wasn't right."
"It doesn't matter," Chuck said, trying to twist away from her. But she held onto him, forcing him to look into her eyes.
"It matters more than anything," Blair said. "I've loved others. But they never came even close to you."
"That isn't the point," Chuck said. "How long will it be until we destroy each other?"
"The fireworks," Blair said. "I miss them. I missed you. You and I are fate. No matter what happens we will find our way back. That's fate. Remember? If we're meant to be together, eventually we'll find our way back. We never would have lasted at eighteen. But we're ready now. This is our journey. And I don't care about your drug and prostitute filled odyssey. Everything we've been through brought us to this point. And I'm not letting go."
"You can't believe that."
"I didn't," Blair said. "I resisted all I could. But I was seventeen and stupid. There's never been anyone more right for each other than us."
"Don't say that."
"Because I want to believe you!" His voice was desperate and he was worn. "I'm so tired. All of this…"
"We can rest now," Blair said. "Anyone else would have buckled and broke. But we're better than them. We're better."
"I'm going to burn you."
"I'm going to burn you right back," she threatened.
And they were on each other, being consumed by their mutual fire.