I don't own Dungeon Keeper or 2 so plz don't sue. Andante, Caucus, Jael, Slake, and the other names are borrowed from the game, but Sasha is mine.
I am Sasha, the keeper known the Mistress of the Crimson Twilight. Respected by those who served me, I have destroyed those that have opposed me . . . but if you are one unfortunate sort comes in my grasp, I'll give you reasons to join my task or you will die a slow and painful death. Some thing that I, along with the mistress, am a true adept . . .I afraid this fiction is not about me though. . .That wretched WhiteTigerEye did this out of pure boredom. I hope she creates a story on me soon. . .but until then, read this and let the stupidity become your doom.
An Imp's Secret
***In the Treasury***
Andante: Poor Jael, we shouldn't have left him in that green's territory.
Caucus: He should have run when they sent that black knight after us.
*Andante trips and falls on his back. Caucus laughes.*
Andante: Damn newcomers!. . .don't they know how to put gold in the ri—hey what's this?
*Andante pulls the tile out from the floor and takes out a clay box.*
Caucus: It's has Jael's name on it. . . .Let's take a look.
Andante: but Caucus--
Causus: it not like Jael's ghost is going haunt us for life, come on.
Andante: Oh well, let's hope Sasha doesn't see us slacking off. She doesn't do it often, but her slaps hurt.
*Andante opens the box. Pulls out a golden chalice.*
Causus: Why would he keeping this? We have no use for money.
Andante: I remember that!!! You see . . .
*~*In the temple*~*
Jael: It's too quiet . . .
Andante: Everyone's off to battle. What did you expect?
*Jael stretches his arms out and leans on the wall. A torch tips over.*
Andante: Uh oh.
Jael: Damn it! Now I really am going to be on the long end of Slake's sword now.
*A secret door of the temple opens. Moans of a dark angel and a mistress that were on a bed of red satin. (Do I really have to describe this?!*
Andante: Oooo. . .a free show.
*The angel's head popped out of the sheet with a murderous glint in his eyes*
*Slake threw some gold at them. *
Slake: Here. . . you didn't see a thing, understand or---
*Andante put the torch back in place and door closes.*
Andante: *pointing at the gold. * Now, what are we going to do with this?
Jael: What do you think? Act like noting happened. I am not going to be knocked into the Underworld by Slake by accident.
Andante: I thought he got rid of it. Phleg was much nicer than his brother.
Caucus: what this? *Pulls outs a brown parchment*
Andante: Oh, this happened before you were born, created or whatever.
Caucus: You don't know!. . .Why don't you ask Sasha?
Andante: and while we're at it, why don't we tell her that we're escaping our wall reinforcing duties, too—were you made yesterday?
Caucus: actually 2 darknesses ago. (two weeks)
Andante: Whatever . . .You see. . .
*~*around the Dungeon Heart*~*
Sasha: I never thought I would say this, Andante, but it nice to have a little peace and quiet. *Sound of imps laughing* What is that?
Andante: It sound like laughing. . .
Sasha: By Crimson Twilight, Andante! I know that. Go see what's going on.
*Andante teleports to the source of the laughter. In a graveyard on the outskirts of dungeon territory, the group of imps gathered around a tiny light. The laughter grows louder*
Andante: Hey guys, what so funny?
Imp #1: We decided to write down every creature we have seen around here, then each of us wrote one word that describes them.
Andante: * snatching the parchment* Let me see. . .Bile Demon: perverts . . . I believe that. Mistress: freaks, sadists. So true. . . Giants: Retards, walnut-heads *chuckle*
Sasha: Before you say anything, write pimps under them
Imp #2: Pimps, master?
Sasha: You never seen them in heat, and I don't mean the lava.
Jael: One guy has three ladies in one lava pool fu---
Sasha: Let's see---are you imps blind!? Ditz is only word that describes fairies.
Imp #3: Ditsy doesn't explain the electric burn my butt.
Jael: He mooned one of them near the lake.
*laughter from everyone even from Sasha*
Sasha: *chuckes* Well, that's his ass. . .
Andante: *in singing tone* and he fry it if he wants to (Think of It's My Party and I Cry If I Want To)
Imp #1: fry if he wants to.
Imp#2: fry if he wants to.
Jael: it would be fried too if she electrocute you.
Andante: *starts the verse* Derge met Ditsy while mining near the lake
then try to be brave_
Derge: Come on guys, cut it out.
Jael: *finishes* and he was thanked with a shock.
The scream was all over the cave.
Derge: You are a dead snitch, Jael.
*Jael runs away with Derge after him. Everyone continues the song*
Andante: Don't mention it around Derge. He's still sore about that.
Caucus: All right . . .Ok-ay now why hell would he keep this . . .*holds out the burned chicken feather*
Andante: That is something you will have to see to believe . . .
*~*In the hatchery*~*
*The creatures are gathered around in circle while a goblin is tied to the wall with a chicken tied to his helmet*
Jael: Hey Phleg! What going on?
Phleg: I don't know. I just got here. *A salamander hands him a small vellum* What's this? *reads* The goblin lost a huge bet yesterday and now my friends are showing their version of William's Tell
Andante: *to the salamander* Slash, what was the bet all about?
*Slash responded with an array of hisses*
He says that it had something to do with a Maiden and a guard.
Jael: How they going to it. They can't exactly handled a bow not even a crossb—Oh, it sucks to be him.
Phleg: Those heroes always reveled in cooked food. . .I wonder how cooked chicken tastes like.
Slash: *in hisses* (or roasted goblin)
Jael and Andante: Slash!!
Slash: (can't helped what I have been born with)
*Three salamanders take careful aim while the hot saliva in their throats. The goblin was sweating nervously and---
Caucus: and what happened?
Andante: She's coming.
Andante: SASHA! YOU BUBBLE BRAIN! QUICK! GET BACK TO REFORCEING THE WALLS OF THE TREASURY!
Love it? Hate it? I don't care. Boredom doesn't give a damn about anyone's opinions. Enough reviews may sway me to continue this realm of insanity. Until then, see ya later! ^_^