Sherlock swirled through the Tube traffic to narrowly avoid touching anyone.

"They don't have plague, Sherlock."

"That one squirrel in America, John."

"Shut up and hurry up, I don't wanna miss this beer tasting session. Sounds like heaven."

"Speaking doesn't slow me down" he swerved around a Rubenesque Texan "or I'd never move."

They caught the Jubilee line before the doors closed. "Yes, Sherlock, you're very smart. Do you want a bloody award?"

"I'd probably give it to you, for putting up with me."

John harrumphed and grabbed a lemon rail roughly.

"Did you know-" Sherlock began.

The carriage sighed in unison before John interrupted "I don't believe you're a brain. You're allowed to be a person too" and nodded at the quiet, exasperated patrons.

When they stepped off John sidled up to the looming shade. "Go on."

"Oh no, conforming is too important, wouldn't want to embarrass you, would I?"

"You don't embarrass me, I just didn't want an entire carriage of people listening in on us."

"There are microphones in the carriages, John."

"You'd better be fucking joking."

"By no means all, but some of them are bugged. Regardless, the CCTV slides could theoretically render a facsimile of lip reading."

"Is that why you speak with a flat mouth most of the time?"

"Elementary, my dear Watson."

Sherlock's Oyster Card was not an Oyster Card. John regarded it for the split second before the crush of the queue imposed itself upon his back. "That looks illegal" he whispered into Sherlock's ear.

"There are no laws specifically against it" he swiped something black of similar shape through the machine.

John swiped his card and caught up to Sherlock "There should be."

"Lacuna matata."

John tried to peek as Sherlock replaced it into his wallet. "What is it?"

Sherlock smirked and strolled, toying with the idea of blanking him in return.

"Don't be a prat."

"You were a prat." The reserve on Sherlock's face made John aware he'd wounded the man.

"Yes, I was. I'm sorry. Now make with the shiny." Sherlock opened a hand to show a black graphite card, he had only appeared to replace it in his wallet. "Sly motherfucker" John laughed.

"RFID, NFC tech. Mifare chip, easily cracked. Free travel - theoretically."


"Studying the signal transfer with the reader. Remember: if it can be made, it can be faked."

"Trivial application, why waste your time on it?"

"Think so? They use the same cards for access to government buildings." He twirled the card between his fingers like a magician "I cloned Mycroft's cards." He looked over at John with a mock innocence "For his own good."

"Speaking of sheep-" John opened his hands as they stepped into the open air, only to be blocked from the pavement by tourists.

"I'll get the squirrel" Sherlock glared and they parted.

Author's Note: #1. Answering review question in non-PM, out of John/Sherlock, I would be *a* Sherlock. Sadly, being female means people take a dim view of my anti-agreeable attitude, compared to even a fictional male person. #2. PM - I included Moran in that flashback because fuck knows when we're getting Season 3, I'm pretty sure the likes of Moftiss don't really know yet because of post-production and Christmas scheduling hiccups (I have friends in with the BBC) so I figured why not and just ignore it if you don't like it. #3. You can 'review' with topic ideas you'd like to see, I don't bite and I can usually work it in at some point, I enjoy the challenge. :)