A/N: I just had so much feelings for this book, okay. Also, I do not own Looking for Alaska and its characters.

When Alaska was eight and a half years old, she was different. An isolated, tiny girl in class. She admired the shiny ribbons on the heads of her girl classmates and the gelled hair of her boy classmates. They had peanut butter and jam sandwiches for recess and stuck their tongues out for their lollipops after classes. They flew on the swings and jumped on the seesaws, while Alaska was the weirdo. The girl with no friends and no PB&J sandwiches and no candy and no ribbons in her hair and especially no words.

When Alaska was thirteen years old, she was Moody and Dangerous. She was Moody when she cried out of nowhere, when she spat at her classmates, when she wailed at her textbooks. She was Dangerous when she stared at a grownup's cigarette, when she played with her scissors, when she would swing too high on the swings. And she was both when she pulled pretty Francesca's hair in the middle of a school announcement, when she wanted to tackle about suicide to anyone, when she climbed a tree and would jump repeatedly on a branch. Alaska Young was Moody and Dangerous.

When Alaska was sixteen years old, she was sick, sexy, and silly. She was a lioness. She was a princess, but instead of a tiara she had the devil's horns. She brought life, but was as swift as death could be. She laughed, and still cried because she was Moody. She cursed and smoked again and again. She had friends who smoked with her, talked with her, and loved her. But Alaska was still Moody and Dangerous; how could she not remember? She was M & D because she was trouble.

When Alaska was driving, the whispers of the past – and maybe of the future – liked to knock on her windshield. Her face was wet from the rain she couldn't stop, couldn't control because she was M & D wrapped in one body. She forgot, and she had too much fun. There would never be too much fun now. Through this, she was ending it. But at the same time she was about to find her way out of the labyrinth.