the air i breathe is filled with you, and i couldn't even fight all those feelings i feel coz they are the one's keeping me from sinking into the blue
This was a bit hard to write as I was conflicted as to which direction I should let the story move on. But then I realized I haven't really written about their individual lives. So, here's where the story goes. I hope you like it :)
Dan was pacing the floor of his loft and checking his phone for what seemed like the thousandth time, yet the name he wanted to see in his screen didn't appear. She had avoided him the whole week with the short message the next day of their kiss, explaining that she was going to Hampton for the last week, before the school starts. Dan had tried to reach her the whole time but she avoided his calls. So, there he was replaying the moment they last shared in his head over and over again, knowing it meant everything to him and doubting if it meant even something to her. He knew she felt something more that friendship for him while kissing but knowing so little about her, her avoiding him was confusing him even more if what he felt was reality or just a part of his broad imagination. He was having a lot of imagination these days, writing stories, poems and everything about her and it was driving him crazy how much he thought about her. It was as if she was consuming his whole mind, even his heart though he will never admit it.
"Dan, are you OK. You look kind of funny these days." Rufus said over the counter.
"Yeah, talk about funny. I literally ran into him yesterday, dropping the laundry on the floor and he didn't even bother to look forget about helping me." Jenny added
"Well, that's surprising" Rufus mused, "Dan, are you listening"
"huh..." Dan shot his head up.
"Wow, I think he's having a secret affair" Jenny whispered to Rufus, "He looks dazed all day"
"Dan" Rufus called again.
"huh..." Dan looked up clearly confused.
"We need to have a talk" Rufus said.
Dan followed his Dad to the couch, Jenny just a few steps behind him. Dan sat on the couch, Rufus facing him and Jenny on his side. Rufus was looking intently at him.
"Dan, is there anything you want to talk about?"
"No, dad, no, not at all" Dan replied stuttering.
"Oh, there is something. I can feel it in the air." Jenny said amused.
"There is nothing Jenny. Really dad there isn't"
"How about you tell me who this person is that you have nothing with?" Rufus asked.
"Oooo.. I bet it's the girl he goes to see sneaking behind us"
"JENNY" Dan shouted earning a grin from her.
"I'm just saying"
"Dan?" Rufus looked questioningly, Dan sighed. He could never hide anything from his dad or his sister, they could see clearly through him. They had been too close after his mom left them years ago only to repeat the same old dialogue that she needed time for herself. His dad and sister really believed that she would comeback, they were delusional. But Dan knew that she will never show up and felt a tinge in his heart whenever he thought about her. He never talked about his mother, to anyone, not even his dad or his little sister. It brought back too much pain, pain that he wanted to forget forever. But this talk was not about his mother who gave him pain but about a certain brunette girl who had made him so much happy, when his life had started to loose the spark.
"Well, there's this girl"
"Oooo.. a 'girl'" Dan shot at Jenny and she just smirked at him.
"We've been hanging out since few weeks"
"Since when?" Jenny asked excitedly
"We met the day we returned back" Dan was going to add 'from the unfortunate tour' but didn't want his dad to flinch so he added, "remember i went out to get some fresh air"
"And came back way past dinner time, yes we remember" Jenny smirked.
"I thought you said you went to a library"
"I did, that's where I met her"
"Then I'll bet she's ugly with big glasses and no sense of style at all" Jenny crinkled her nose at the thought an Dan laughed. He realized Jenny was actually gonna like Blair, she was exactly the kind of girl Jenny idolized.
"She is actually pretty fashionable and trendy, Jenny."
"I highly doubt that. What's her name?" Jenny answered unimpressed.
"Blair Waldorf" Dan said suppressing a smile that was forming in his lips. Rufus noticed that but Jenny seemed shocked.
"YOU are seeing BLAIR WALDORF" Jenny practically shouted unbelievably.
"Well not actually seeing as in we're friends"
"YOU ARE FRIENDS with BLAIR WALDORF" Jenny was shaking her head, "My BROTHER is a FRIEND of BLAIR WALDORF" Jenny paused a moment before saying,
"Wow, this is... just... wow" Jenny looked at Dan again who looked confused.
"Do you know Blair?"
"Are you kidding me who doesn't know Blair Waldorf"
"I don't" Rufus supplied.
"Am not talking about old people dad"
"Hey, am not that old" Rufus whined.
"Could you two stop it. What do you know about Blair."
"Well, let's see. She's the self proclaimed Queen Bee of UES" So, Chuck wasn't joking when he called Blair Queen, Dan thought. That image actually suited Blair.
"She's the only daughter of two of the most powerful people, there's actually this site called gossip girl that posts every detail about her life from when she was a teenager and Dan i wouldn't have said it otherwise but Blair according to the posts and what i've seen myself doesn't seem to be a very easygoing kind of person. I wonder why she even bothered being friends with you, you're not even her type. And isn't she dating Nate Archibald?"
"Wow, Jenny you really do know a lot about her" her dad said amused.
"She's hard not to know about especially with all the posts on gossip girl. She's the most popular girl in our school. You do know that she goes to the same school as i do, don't you?" Jenny asked. Dan nodded, he remembered asking Blair if she knew Jenny to which she had given him a quizzical look and he had not pressed the subject. Blair never wanted to talk about her personal life, hell, she hadn't even told him what other's didn't knew about her.
"I can't believe your luck Dan. You just cam back and your'e already friends with Blair Waldorf, queen of Constance. You don't even know how popular you're gonna become once gossip girl knows about it." Dan became a bit uncomfortable knowing it.
"I don't think being friends with Blair Waldorf will count that much."
"Are you kidding, Blair despises most people around her and the only friends she has are Chuck Bass, who's a self proclaimed 'bad boy', Nate Archibald who's of course her boyfriend and last but not the least the It Girl Serena Vander Woodsen. People would be dying to know why Blair chose to befriend you when she could just have had anyone, which by the way I'm also eager to know."
"I think I need some air" Dan breathed in heavily.
"Are you sneaking out again to meet Blair Waldorf?" Jenny said raising her eyebrows.
"No, actually Blair has gone to Hampton for the week. So, I haven't actually seen her." Dan said sighing. He already missed her.
"That's why you are so down. But didn't you just say you guys were friends only" Dan jerked his head at the question.
"Yes, yes we are... just... friends."
"And she has a boyfriend"
Dan had no idea what her relationship with Nate was even though Blair acted as if they were over, she had not yet said it aloud to others. So, yes oficially Nate was still her boyfriend and Dan had no idea if it was gonna change or not.
"Yes, she has a boyfriend" Dan said gloomily.
"Oh, Dan you have a crush on Blair Waldorf" Jenny seemed quite amused by that.
Blair tried to concentrate on the book she had in-front of her eyes as she relaxed on the lounger on the Hampton house. Serena sat beside her trying to break Blair's concentration so that she could chat with her best friend. But even Serena's good nature couldn't help her from feeling miserable. She had spent the whole week with Serena in her Hampton house trying to make sense of what happened the last night with him. But, she couldn't, she couldn't point out what had actually got into her to kiss Dan Humphrey. And as much she wanted to regret the moment she couldn't, she just wanted to go back and kiss him again. She had never felt this way before not even with Nate whom she was supposed to be thinking about. But all her thoughts went to the lean figure who had now even captured her dreams. All Blair wanted to do was grab the phone, dial his number and talk to him until she saw him again. But she couldn't do it because as much as she wanted to, she wasn't the real Blair Waldorf when she had been with him the previous month. Of course, she was the same Blair but not the whole Blair Waldorf, queen of Constance, but only a good part of her, and when school will start in Monday she had to go back to being the Blair Waldorf everyone knew, a bitch.
She had no intention of ending their friendship though, if he still wanted her to be his friend after what she did. God, she was a mess, she couldn't believe that she had ruined one potential friendship that she had been able to form on her own after such a long time. The truth was, she might have a lot of people roaming around her but none of them were her friends, they were her minions, people beneath her whom she didn't even wanted to acknowledge unless necessary. The only friends she had were Nate, Serena and Chuck. But Serena was always busy with flirting and drinking, Nate was most of the time avoiding her (she didn't knew the reason why until Serena's recent confession after which the roles had reversed) and Chuck was well Chuck most of the time disappearing, god knows where. So, Blair desperately needed a friend that she had found on Dan and was determined not to give him away this time, like she had done with her friends previously.
"B, I'm getting bored can't we go out somewhere"
"Reading, S" Blair pointed towards her book.
"Bitch" Serena grumbled and Blair smirked.
"umm.. B" Serena asked innocently.
"Chuck invited Nate to hang out for the weekend" Blair suddenly felt alert.
"Are you okay with that"
"Why wouldn't I be okay, S. Chuck might have felt lonely being the only man in the house with Eric gone"
"Well, that isn't exactly the reason why he's coming" Blair felt a bit uncomfortable, "The thing is B, you guys haven't talked to each other like a normal couple would after what happened. And Chuck and I were worried about you both."
"Am really not in the mood to talk to Nate right now"
"But you've got to talk to him and I think you've been dodging the talk enough. You guys need to have mature talk you're not kids anymore, B."
Blair looked at the stern expression on her friend's face and knew this was serious.
"Okay S. When is he coming"
"On the way" Serena chirped.
"And you just thought of warning me" Serena laughed and Blair hit her with her book.
"Ooouucchhh... B, that hurt" and they both started giggling together.
"Well, well, i see you both are having fun without us" Chuck said with a smirk.
Serena rolled her eyes at her step-brother whereas, Blair just laughed at him.
"Ooh Chuck have I reminded you lately how much I adore you" Blair said her grin was lost as soon as she saw Nate and even though Blair didn't wanted to admit it, all of them fell in an awkward silence.
"Oookaayy Chuck and I are going for a spin around the beach now" Serena hugged Blair and whispered in her ear, "B, always remember you are Blair Waldorf, nothing intimidates you."
Then the blonde took her groaning step-brothers arm in hers, and walked away.
Nate came to sit beside Blair, a bit too close Blair noticed.
"Blair, we need to talk"
"I know that you know about what happened between me and Serena.."
"Yes, Serena told me" Blair cut back at Nate and Nate noticed her sharp tongue. This wasn't going to be easy. But nothing was easy with the brunette beside him, that was what had attracted him to her after all.
"I know, I asked her to"
"I thought it was Chuck who asked"
"Well, he asked us both, but I couldn't do it. So..."
"So you sent my best friend to tell me that she betrayed me with my boyfriend"
"I'm sorry, B. But I couldn't risk losing you again. Serena said that you couldn't be mad at her for long, not when she just came back. It just seemed like a good option to us."
"Then why tell me?"
"huh.." Nate asked clearly confused.
"Why did you guys wanted to tell me. You could've lied to me and let everything be. Why ruin it if you didn't want to loose me."
"Because even though I never wanted you to know the truth, I realized after all this time that it was what was keeping us apart. And I don't want to be apart from you again"
"What about you and Serena? Don't you guys love each other?"
"Wh..What B, are you mad. Is that what you thought this was about? Is that why you were acting so distant to me all these days?" Nate shaked his head in disbelief, "Blair, I love you. Only you, Right from the time I laid my eyes on you on the 6th grade acting so brave, protecting me from the world, I've only loved you since then. You have always be the only one for me."
Blair looked at Nate stupefied, "Then why Serena, you knew she was my best friend, you knew how much this would hurt me. If you ever loved me Nate, why would you do that?"
"I thought you were seeing Chuck, I know, I know, I was out of my mind to even think that. But you used to spend all your time with him. You didn't even used look at me B, it was as if I didn't even exist for you. I was so mad at you and Chuck that when I saw you two bond together in the party I lost it. Then I remembered getting drunk with Serena and then... I saw Chuck through the mirror and was even more infuriated. I wasn't in my right mind. It was the biggest mistake of my life, I was so scared you'll know about it that I avoided you for as much and I came to realize that I pushed you farther away. I'm really sorry B." Nate looked at Blair earnestly, "Please say somethimg."
"I don't know what to say."
"Hit me, get angry with me, throw every bad words of hatred you know at me, but please say something, B. Your silence is killing me" Nate looked like he was about to cry. Blair looked at the guy beside her. He was the guy she had wanted to spend the rest of her life with. He was the one she dreamed about since the day he kissed her on the corridors. He was the only guy Blair had wanted to be with until now. Without her realizing her mind went to a lean, dark haired guy and Blair shut back his thoughts from his head. She focused on the blue eyed guy beside her who demanded her attention and realized she really didn't want him to look so sad. How can she break his heart when he was only few of the people whom she cared about.
"Nate, I'm not angry with you. I was, but not now, am just sad that things came to this point that we couldn't even look into each others eyes with honesty. We were supposed to be the golden couple everyone envied. And now..."
"Now what B, we can still be that. We can still be the golden couple everyone looked at"
"I just don't know if i can do this anymore"
"Don't give up on us B. Please give me one more chance. I promise, I'll prove you to be the best boyfriend ever. Please B, Please" Nate pleaded.
"I just need time to think" Blair sighed
"Take as much time as you can"
"I'll reply you at the first day of school"
Nate sighed in relief and shocked Blair by pulling her into a tight hug and kissing her cheeks. He looked happy and Blair felt a tinge of guilt. She couldn't break this guys heart again, she had done it enough of time with her plottings with Chuck and Serena's departure. She couldn't believe that he was still there with her after everything when he could've easily gone back to Serena whenever he wanted to, she was always there for him. Blair had also been always there for him, so what had changed. Blair blushed a little remembering the feel of his lips in hers. She would never admit but Dan Humphrey was a really good kisser. It was a week after their kiss and she could still feel his lips on her which was unusual for her.
Sunday evening finally Dan's phone vibrated. Dan pulled it out excitedly and his mouth formed a grin at the name.
Blair: "School tomorrow. Don't forget to meet me at the stairs. I would like to formally introduce you to my fellow students"
Dan: "Couldn't miss it for the world. And Waldorf, I missed you by the way"
And then Blair disconnected the line, both grinning. Tomorrow was going to be something different.
Hope you liked it. Please do send your feedback, means a lot and thanks for all the reviews :)