~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice


Janet had been alerted by the guards and knows that Jolinar is awake. She has informed General Hammond. He is here again, together with my team.

"Who are we talking to?"

"Me, Captain Carter - but I guess there's no way for you to tell, so I'll just give Jolinar control. I guess she's the one you want to talk to anyway." I tell them, feeling frustrated. ~How do I do this?~

~Mentally step back - or I can just grab control, but that is less pleasant, especially when we are not blended, and it is considered impolite unless the situation calls for it.~

I try to do as Jolinar says, and she takes control, flashing my eyes. ~I don't think they liked that.~ I observe. ~They look scared.~

~Well, look down and close your eyes next time we change control, then.~

I realise that is usually done by the Tok'ra, to show the change of control, and to hide the eye flash - and to help with any temporary disorientation after getting control. I realise the Tok'ra really does take turns being in control! The host and the symbiote taking turns! ~I will remember.~

"Hello. I am Jolinar of Malkshur - of the Tok'ra. You wish to speak with me, General Hammond?"

"Ah, yes..." He is clearly affected by the situation.

"Then, how may I be of assistance?"


Hammond and my team stayed for some time, asking a lot of questions of Jolinar, which she mostly didn't answer.

Jolinar has given me a lot to think about, and I must admit that part of me is being temped by her suggestion to try to escape from the SGC. However, if I do that, can I come back? Even after Jolinar has left, and they have checked and found I don't have a symbiote anymore? Will they ever fully trust me again?

I don't know - especially if they realise I helped Jolinar to get away. Then I suspect they will never fully believe me again, never completely trust me.

But if I don't escape, then the NID will take us and we will die - a slow and horrible death.

So my choice are down to; life, but my career is over or death, and no career, but at least my reputation might be saved.

I choose life.


It is late evening, and my team is here to visit again. They don't come close to the bed, probably because of Jolinar. I also don't know if they actually believe it is me talking, and not her.

"Sam?" Daniel asks, unsure.

"Yes, Daniel. It's me." I tell him.

"How can we be sure?"

"You can't. Anything you ask me, Jolinar could just take from my mind. Not that she would, though."

They nod, not convinced.

"She?" Daniel wonders.

"Jolinar is female."

"Oh." O'Neill looks like he find it strange.

"Listen, Sam...if it's really you...the NID are sending someone for you."

"Daniel..." O'Neill warns him.

"Jack! We need to tell them!"

O'Neill sighs. "I guess. Well, they'll be here to pick you up tomorrow morning."

"So if Jolinar has any important information that can convince us to trust her, then now is a good time for it." Teal'c adds. "Perhaps it might convince Hammond to let you leave, even."

"She's a member of an underground resistance of rebel Goa'uld!" I exclaim. "Isn't that enough?" I sigh and close my eyes for a moment. "Listen, I don't blame you for not trusting you, and I'd be lying if I wouldn't have preferred never to have met Jolinar, but She's telling the truth. There's nothing she or I can tell you that would make you believe her. She has secrets - most of which I haven't learned, but it's not because she's deceiving me. It's...like our military secrets. She's an operative, and she has been undercover among the Goa'uld, getting information for the Tok'ra. They are trying to keep the Goa'uld fighting and weak, until one day they can get rid of all the System Lords."

"Well that sounds great! If we could believe you!" O'Neill sounds sarcastic - but also as if he is starting to believe, just a little.

"Which Goa'uld?" Daniel asks.

"Excuse me?" I look at him, not understanding.

"Which Goa'uld was she undercover with?"

I give Jolinar control.

"Cronus." She tells them. "Teal'c, at least, knows of him. More than he would prefer, I suppose." She almost looks apologetic.

Teal'c obviously suppresses anger before he answers. "Indeed." He turns to O'Neill. "Cronus killed my father. I became first prime of Apophis to take my revenge of Cronus - the arch-enemy of Apophis."

"So - you've got good intel. What does that prove?" O'Neill asks. "You could still be a Goa'uld."

Jolinar sighs. "Very true." She is quiet for a moment, then decides to change her tactics. "Listen, I have got important information for my people. They have a spy in their ranks, and only I knows who. I must get back. If not, it could set back our cause centuries, the Goa'uld may kill a great many of my kind, and with the Tok'ra weakened, the Goa'uld will grow stronger. It will be harder for you and all other humans and Jaffa."

"So you say."

"Even if you do not trust me, you will have to admit there is a chance I am telling the truth. Do you really dare take the chance that I am lying? That me being handed over to the NID will not be to your disadvantage?"

"Jack? Perhaps we should..." Daniel starts.

"No! I will never trust a snake!"

Jolinar restrains herself, and do not yell at O'Neill, but I can feel how he is annoying her. "Samantha tells me the NID will kill us - eventually. I will never tell them anything, and they do not have the means to make me. I can kill myself and my host, and they can do nothing to stop me. They do not have a sarcophagus. Know that I will kill myself and Samantha before the NID learns anything about my people! You know you do not have the technology to remove me. You will gain nothing by letting the NID have me. If you let me go, and it turns out I can be trusted, you will get Samantha back. I will return her to you, when I have found another host."

"Call me when she's decided to be cooperative." O'Neill says and leaves the room.

Daniel looks helplessly after him, and Teal'c raises an eyebrow. Jolinar takes a deep breath, and apologizes to me.

~I am sorry, Samantha. I really hoped I could convince them to let us go. I fear we will soon be in the clutches of the NID.~

~Don't give up yet. Though all that about killing your host surely did piss off the Colonel. Can you really do it?~

~Kill us both? Yes, easily. I have complete control of your body, Samantha. Does that scare you? It should not. I would not do it without your permission.~

~I...I suppose the situation may arise when I would choose that, but for now I must admit I'm hoping for life.~

~As am I, but Samantha...I will never betray the Tok'ra! The NID will learn nothing from us, no matter what they do. I promise I will protect you against them to the best of my abilities, though. I will not allow you to suffer for my errors, but I will also not tell them anything.~

Daniel and Teal'c leaves as well, giving me one last look. I lie down on the bed, trying to rest. It is not easy.