~ is internal speak between host and symbiote

bold is the symbiotes speaking with the symbiote voice


I have finally managed to fall asleep, and it is several hours later when someone opens the door. Jolinar is still asleep, and I move carefully, treasuring the silence in my head and the time alone in my body. I sit up.

"Shhh, Sam - if it is you." Daniel says in a low voice.

"Daniel?" I whisper, then notice someone else. "Teal'c?"

"Yes, Captain Carter."

"We talked it over, and while we're not completely sure we can trust Jolinar, we have decided it's better to risk trusting her than to let the two of you be taken by the NID." Daniel says.

"You're letting us go?" I look at him, surprised.

He nods. "Yes." He hands me a bag. "Here's clothes. You don't wanna go through the Stargate in hospital gowns. Are you okay to walk on your own?"

"Yeah, sure. Jolinar's fixed us both up. At least she's good for that." I grumble.

"I'm not sure she'll enjoy being talked about like that." Daniel laughs nervously.

"She's asleep, so she won't know unless she reads my memories afterwards - and she's promised not to do that without permission. I think I can trust her." I sigh.

"You must hurry. The guards will be back in 20 minutes, and we need to get to the gateroom before that." Teal'c says.

"Do I want to know how you got them to leave in the first place?" I ask as I grab the clothes and go change behind a screen. My body is still sore, and my head hurts a little, but mostly I just feels weak. Jolinar has patched me up well.

"Probably not." Daniel grins. "Don't worry, we'll be okay."

I finish dressing and we leave through the door together. "What about the Colonel? Does he know about this?"

"I think he suspects we'd do something like this. He doesn't want to know, but I think he'll be relieved you don't have to go to the NID tomorrow. Now, if he would just allow himself to believe Jolinar may speak the truth..." Daniel said.

I nod, feeling better that O'Neill at least passively agreed to this.

We hurry through the corridors and to the elevator, then down to the gateroom. Jolinar is awake now, but is silently watching. Daniel hug me, a little gingerly and clearly not feeling comfortable with Jolinar, then goes to the control room, while Teal'c walks with me to the gateroom. The wormhole opens.

"Good luck, Captain Carter - and Jolinar. I hope to see you again soon." He says and hands me a knife and one of the zats we got from Apophis's ship.

"Thanks, Teal'c. I'll do my best." I say before leaving through the Stargate.

And then I am standing on an alien planet, the wormhole shutting off behind me. That's when it hits me fully - I am AWOL...and possessed by an alien lifeform!

Jolinar takes control and before I can complain by her suspicious behavior, she immediately inputs a new address in the DHD and we walk through another wormhole.

~Jolinar...~ I begin.

~We are going to the Tok'ra base I belong to - if they are still in the same location. You will get control back soon.~

I feel nervous - unsure about Jolinar, uncertain this was a good idea - and very nervous about soon meeting her people. A whole race of Goa'uld...Tok'ra. Then she blocks my sensory reception as she dial yet another gate address - to the Tok'ra base world, probably, and she doesn't trust me enough to let me know the glyphs. I can't say I blame her for that, at least.


My vision and other senses return as soon as we step out on the planet. It is a desert world, and I get a 'home' feeling from Jolinar.

~You've been on this planet long?~

~Longer than usual.~ Jolinar answers.

She does not seem inclined to elaborate or talk at all. I get a feeling of nervousness from her. ~You're happy to be home - what's the problem?~

~It is difficult to return with a new host when no one was present during the change of host. I need to prove who I am.~

~I guess that could be unpleasant.~

Jolinar does not answer, but keeps control and walks, her head held high, towards some dunes. As we approach them I suddenly get a weird feeling - and thinking about it I realise I've felt it before. Near Teal'c - and differently, from the Stargate.

~Naquadah.~ Jolinar tells me. ~It resonates with itself, and since symbiotes have it in the blood - and the hosts get it as well - we feel that reaction as a humming or prickling feeling. We are feeling the hidden Tok'ra guards.~

Before I have time to answer, people jump up of the sand all around us. They must have been hiding under the sand! Jolinar holds up her knife and zat, then puts them down on the ground.

"Who are you?" A woman, dressed in beige and tan clothes, demands. She is dressed similar to the others, and they are all dressed like many common humans people are on the planets we have gone to - however, there is a similarity to the clothing here which yells 'uniform'.

"I am Jolinar of Malkshur." Jolinar tells them. "And you are Jalen."

"Jolinar. You have a new host, then. What happened to Rosha?" Jalen asks.

"Killed, as we fled from the ashrak Cronus sent after us. This is Samantha Carter of the Tau'ri."

The Tok'ra guards nod slowly.

"You seems to be telling the truth, but you will have to be interrogated to make sure. You know the rules, Jolinar."

"I know." Jolinar sighs, and we follow the guards to a spot which turns out to have transporter rings.

They jump out of the ground and surround us, and we materialize - together with the guards - in blue-grey crystal tunnels underground.

~Wauh!~ I exclaim mentally as I look at the crystals. ~Impressive!~

"The interrogators are ready to determine your identity, Jolinar."

Sighing, Jolinar goes with them. This is going to be long and unpleasant, I just know it.


We are both exhausted. It is much later when we are finally released, having convinced them that Jolinar indeed is who she says she is.

After that she was debriefed by the Council, reporting on all that had happened since she was sent on her mission to Cronus's court - what did she learn there after the last report was sent, why did she have to flee, what happened to Rosha, how did she die, where, why, who sent the ashrak, what happened to him, how did she get her current host, what did she learn about the Tau'ri, how did she escape - an endless stream of questions. Then, focus went to the fact that I did not volunteer, and it was clearly a much larger infraction than expected. They were angry, a lot! I had to come forward several times and tell them my side, and how I felt about things.

Jolinar will be punished, and the first order of business for her is to find a new host. It will not be easy.

After talking with the Council, Jolinar insists on talking personally with a few of them which she trusts - and tells them of her knowledge of a spy in the Tok'ra tunnels. That is why she had to flee from Cronus - a Tok'ra collaborates with Cronus and told him about her. She knows who he is. His name is Cordesh.

They don't trust her at first, but eventually goes to check his chambers, and finds he has a long range communication device, which the Tok'ra never use, since it is not a safe technology, the transmissions can be intercepted. He admits he is a spy, and is taken to be extracted.

Jolinar is thanked for this, and leaves the Council members.

Then I learn something else, which Jolinar has carefully kept from me. She has a mate - mates, actually.

"They have been missing for more than a week?" Jolinar asks the man - Malek, I think his name is. "Why did you not tell me as soon as I returned?"

"I apologize, Jolinar. You know how it is."

"Yes. No one will be sent for them, and I am not allowed to leave this place until the Council has decided on a punishment for me - which will probably mean I can't leave for a long time afterwards anyway. That's assuming they're getting me a host I can use!" Jolinar is frustrated, and so not as polite and correct in what she says - not that she seems to have tact ever.

~You have mates? You are married?~ I ask, confused.

~Yes.~ She answers, curtly.

~You didn't think this was relevant for me to know?~

~No, you don't want to remain my host.~

~That's for sure, but what if they had been here? What would have happened then? Would you have slept with them?~

~It's irrelevant, as they're not.~ Jolinar answers, obviously not wanting to talk to me right now, and I give up. For now.


As exhausted as we are, Jolinar anyway returns to the Council to ask them to send a rescue mission for her mates. She is not surprised when they deny her, but she is still furious. Eventually she is led to her quarters by guards.

~Jolinar...~ I attempt. ~We need to talk. Listen, I'm sorry about your mates, I really am,but there isn't a lot we can do. I mean, you're not allowed to leave until the Council has decided on a sentence and you need a new host. They said it could take weeks or months for them to find you one, especially since you insist on a young female. I can't wait here for that long!~

~What do you want me to do, human?~ Jolinar is angry.

~Flee? Go find a new host so I can go home?~

~It would still take months, perhaps, and I would be a renegade. Martouf and Lantash might be dead by then, if they aren't already. No, we're staying here where I can work on getting the Council to at least let me go on a rescue mission.~

~Using me as host, or what?~ I spit at her.

She doesn't have an answer to that, but she seems stunned by what she has hinted. She does not want to behave like a Goa'uld. What she already has done is bad enough.