A/N: My first Fanfic. I never thought in a million years I'd write one, though I love reading them so very much. But I just had this idea (this incredibly perverted idea) and since I knew no one else was going for it anytime soon, I decided to run with it and see if it took me anywhere.

As you can guess from the title, the three year training trip Naruto and Jiraiya went on is not canon whatsoever. Most of the story will most likely not be canon. There will be smut, but no yaoi. I don't enjoy reading it myself, so I doubt I'd enjoy writing it. I'm trying to put a plot in, but smut might seem to overshadow it at times.

So here's a list of What If's that explain how this story is actually an AU.

What If Jiraiya had used the three years he had Naruto to train him in seals?

What If Naruto was a Sealing Prodigy, because it ran in his blood?

What if Jiraiya had succeeded in corrupting Naruto far worse than canon made him out to have?

What if Jiraiya was an actual pervert, instead of a voyeur? In that he actually worked towards getting sex on a regular basis instead of simply peeping and writing smut for other's to read?

What if Jiraiya and Naruto, after many talks in which they decided Konoha was no better than any other hidden village in the world, and in fact the entire way everything was run in the world was wrong, decided to do something about it. Liiiikeā€¦ plan to take over the world!

This is the story of how Jiraiya and Naruto banded together to bring their own brand of world peace to a war-torn Elemental Nations.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Ch. 1 The Return

Naruto sighed and placed his hands behind his blonde head as they came within view of Konoha's front gates. He stood in a black and brown jumpsuit, having outgrown his love for kill-me orange ages ago. He was almost as tall as his Sensei now, the one walking alongside him. The Legendary Toad Sage Jiraiya of the Sannin. Also known as the Legendary Pervert of course.

"So the old warhawk has been taken care of Master?"

Jiraiya snorted, "Of course, what do you take me for? It wouldn't do to have Danzo getting in the way of our plans in some misguided attempt to control you."

With a chuckle Naruto looked sidelong to his Sensei of three years as they got ever closer to the front gates, "And Root?"

"They've been sealed, the permanent one of course. It's replaced that second-rate trash Danzo had on all of their tongues. Only way to disable and circumvent it of course." Jiraiya smirked as he said this, his hand fingered a small scroll on his belt, "I can't wait until we've perfected the summoning. It will make us nigh-unstoppable."

Naruto grinned widely, noticing the action his own hand went down to a similar scroll on his own belt, "The secrets of the Hirashin are already ours Sensei, I have confidence that this next leap is only a matter of time. After all, how hard can it be to go from summoning ourselves to summoning others?"

Jiraiya grunted and his voice lowered as they came within hearing range of the gate, only about a hundred feet out, "Don't forget our policy on saying things like 'How hard can it be?' or 'Can this get any worse?' you usually get my ass kicked when you say that!."

It was at that very instant that a foot drove into the side of Jiraiya's head. It was followed by a blonde haired woman in a green overcoat with one of the best rack's Naruto or Jiraiya had ever seen, even in their far reaching travels.

As Tsunade, the Godaime Hokage straightened up and turned to her beloved godson with a wide smile she said, "It's so good to see you after so many years Naruto!"

Naruto smiled faintly as his sensei just groaned and bowed formally, "A pleasure Hoka-" but before he could finish his statement he was enveloped in a hug that planted his face firmly in some lovely cleavage.

His hand came up instinctively to the bare skin on the back of her neck, but he felt the seal on his palm be repelled. When the hell had he?- Damnit! Naruto looked over Tsunade's shoulder at the still collapsed Jiraiya and glared competitively. Jiraiya just smirked as Naruto extended his senses and felt the seal placed on her ankle. Damn toad Sage was still incredibly fast it seemed. He let himself get kicked in his stupid face just so he could get the first point!

After a moment Tsunade released Naruto and pulled him back to arms length to look him over with a smile, "You've grown so much Naruto. But if you call me Hokage one more time I'll be forced to beat you up!"

Naruto just grinned cheekily, "As you wish grandma!" the scowl that appeared on Tsunade's face made it clear that wasn't the substitute she was looking for and a moment later Naruto had taken Jiraiya's place on the ground just as Jiraiya was standing and brushing himself off.

"Tsunade! Will you ever forgive me for that one time in the Hot Springs! Can't you greet me normally just once!" Jiraiya whined out. Tsunade scowled but an instant later there was a faint pink tinge that appeared on her face, her demeanor softened just a smidge, "Shut up and let's go you Pervert! You need to give me your report in my office!"

As she prepared to drag him off, Jiraiya turned towards Naruto, still lying in face down in the dirt and gave him a very quick wink, "You go ahead and reaquaint yourself with the village my student! The Hokage and I have grown-up things to talk about!" Naruto responded with the finger as Jiraiya and Tsunade vanished in a shunshin. Fine! Jiraiya had scored the first point, and would no doubt be in control of the village in a roundabout way by sundown. That still fit with the plan, and he had just foolishly enough given Naruto hours to find his first target as well! So ha to the old man!

Naruto picked himself up and flashed a wide-lecherous grin. Two of the Greatest Seal Masters ever had just arrived in Konoha, and no one was going to know what hit them.

A/N: So this is the prologue. I'll be trying to post a chapter a day as long as my mind knows what scenes it wants to see next. If you have a favorite female or even male character that you want to see get lucky, leave a review and a suggestion and I will take it under advisement. More suggestions mean I'll probably have more ideas and the story will progress faster.

The story will be mainly Naruto!SealMaster!Harem and Jiraiya!SealMaster!Harem. And yes, I killed Danzo and stole his ROOT before the story even began, because while I intend to try to write a few fight scenes, I am terrible at writing backroom politics. So Danzo being the key detractor of the Sannin and their dead Sensei died, so that all of his supporters could be nice and quiet little bitches without him.

Oh and I haven't exactly decided what to do with the Kyuubi yet, so once again, suggestions will be taken into consideration.