The idea came to me while I was at work so I typed it out real quick during my lunch break.
I do not own Young Justice or anything in the DC universe…just a huge fan.
You would think that having Batman as a guardian would offer some pretty interesting texts.
You would be wrong.
Bruce and Dick never exchanged texts that might reveal their hero identities. That, of course, did not stop Dick from imagining what those texts would look like:
OMG scarecrow brok out
BC pnched GA. . . . LMFAO
WTF Supes fails agn
Caught Jkr W00t!
Of course, Dick knew that if Batman did text he would never text like that. Dick could dream, though, couldn't he?
As for the texts Bruce did send—since he was not always necessarily around, either doing Wayne Enterprises related work or upholding League duties—let's just say his texts took helicopter parenting to a new level.
His texts looked something like this:
Home yet? Which was Bruce's short subtle way of saying you-should-have-been-home-five-minutes-ago AND just-because-I'm-not-there-does-not-mean-I-do-not-know-you-are-out-passed-curfew. Dick thought that particular text was really unfair. Robin was allowed to go trapezing off rooftops in the dead of the night, getting shot at no less, and, yet, Dick had to be in by nine pm. Ridiculous. Although, if Dick had to be honest that was more Gotham's rule than Bruce's. The city had a nine pm curfew for unaccompanied teens that were not going to and from work or a school related event. Still, he was freakin' Robin. What hero had a curfew?
Then there was the most common text he got from Bruce:
And Dick's least favorite:
I know what you are doing
Dick would not deny that he did have a tendency to get into mischief. He could not help it—he was a 'live in the moment' type of guy. He also had a huge helping of humor that people just seemed not to appreciate fully.
The first time Dick had received that ominous text had been years ago shortly after he had finally adjusted to living at the Manor. There was a function and he had been about to pour some joke shop bought powder into a gargantuan crystal punch bowl. It would have turned the teeth green of anyone who drank from it. In Dick's opinion, it would have been the perfect prank. This was because there was an hour delay from the moment the person drank to the point when their teeth turned green which maximized the number of people effected substantially.
But then Dick had received a text. I know what are you doing.
The second time Dick received that text, Bruce was not anywhere near Dick. In fact, he was on a completely different continent. Dick had climbed a tree, the ridiculously tall tree in Barbara's backyard, and was doing tricks on its branches much to the delight of Barbara. Barbara's aunts, however, were not so delighted. They were completely exlighted and totally freaking out which was also much to the delight of Barbara.
And then Dick had received that text. I know what you are doing.
Monkeying around . . . successfully terminated.
And so it went over the years with Dick receiving that text at just the right moment.
Dick knew that Bruce officially had no superpowers, but he was not really sure if that was true. He swore that man had to be psychic. He just had to be. There was no other reason as to why the man could possible know that he was up to something.
So, Dick had checked. He probably had spent at least a total of a couple weeks over the last four years trying to figure out how Bruce always seemed to know when he was up to something. Dick found no GPS tracker on him and there were no hidden cameras following him around. After the Watch Tower had been built, he had suspected maybe Bruce was using the Tower to spy on him. Martian Man Hunter swore he knew nothing of the sort. Dick still suspected though. Even now, he would occasionally glance suspiciously up at the sky.
The truth was far simpler than what Dick's imagination had created. For Bruce had no idea of truly knowing when Dick was up to something. The Billionaire simply understood how Dick's mind worked. The boy was incredibly intelligent, a little bit too curious, and way too much of a thrill seeker to not be either doing something or at least thinking about doing something that he probably should not be doing. Bruce figured that if he randomly sent out that text there was a 97% chance of it being timely appropriate.
He did not send that text out often, just enough to get Dick thinking about his actions. Even though he never asked Dick if he actually had been up to something at the time, Bruce knew it worked.
Super Nanny had nothing on him.
AND it was just fun to do. The looks Dick gave later on at home were priceless.
Dick was sitting in the back of his history class in the middle of texting Wally when he received another text. It was a text from Bruce. Dick finished his message to Wally and pressed send. Then he looked at the text Bruce sent him. It read:
Dinner at Azzari's?
Azzari's had the best pizza in Gotham. Dick was so excited that he did not even think before replying.
Less than 30 seconds later he received another text from Bruce.
Why are you texting in class?
Dick's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He re-read the text. Leave it up to Bruce to text him and not want a response. And why was he getting in trouble for it? The man had texted him while he was in class—Bruce had texted him. He had to know he was in class, had to.
How was he supposed to respond to that?
If he responded, he would be texting in class. But Dick really wanted to explain that he had not meant to text in class and that he was only replying as a curtsey. After all, Bruce could not possibly have known that he had also been texting Wally. Right? Right?
As Dick contemplated this, he received another text from Bruce. He sighed and opened it up reluctantly.
I know? I know? That was worst than I know what you are doing!
Dick looked out the classroom's big windows, his eyes narrowing at the cloudless blue sky. He swore he could see the Watch Tower. He looked back at his phone and then back out the window. He frowned slightly. Ignoring an incoming text from Wally, he slipped the phone back into his book bag. Dick looked out the window again suspiciously before scooting his desk away from the window, all the while ignoring the curious stares of his classmates.
Fifteen blocks from Gotham Academy, high up on the top floor of Wayne Towers, Lucius Fox stopped paying attention to the boardroom meeting and looked at the man beside him. Bruce Wayne had that sly smirk on his face, that I'm-messing-with-Richard look Lucius had come to know.
The grey speckled haired man shook his head. "You leave that poor boy alone."
Bruce chuckled and put the phone back into his suit pocket.
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