Thanks for the reviews! And thank you to my old and new readers. And thanks to those who pointed out I had Clark working at the Daily Prophet instead of the Daily Planet. It has been fixed. Talk about your fandoms mashing up.
Summary: The problem with invading Gotham . . . .
Disclaimer: I do not own anything DC related
Winter 2017(11 years after the creation of PLUMS)
Zwerk was a cold planet, its temperature never rose above zero degrees Celsius. Its inhabitants were furry orange beings with lankey legs, sturdy torsos, and humanoid heads with many teeth. They came to earth with a small invasion party which held a handful of soldiers, General Wuk, and King Launk, third son of the Emperor of Zwerk. Though their numbers were small, their weaponry was far superior to earths. The greatest weapon: glowing orbs which could quell the spirit into blind obedience or total ignorance. There invasion began in Maine as the Zwerkians felt its temperatures were closer to their own and state was smaller than Canada or Russia. Once Maine fell, its government and residents completely unaware and blissfully ignorant, the subsequent Northeastern States of the Union fell to them like dominoes.
Until they reached one city.
"Prepare more orbs," said King Launk stroking his silky fury on his chin in pleasure. He sat on a gilded throne in the middle of the space ship hovering above Manhattan completely undetected by its chic urbanites. They had gained control of all the minds of New York State over an hour ago. New Jersey was all done. The invasion was going great. "We will save the Mid Atlantic for later. We hit Ohio next. General Wuk, do you agree?" When King Launk received no response, he turned around. "General Wuk?"
General Wuk stood before three large holographic panels. Without turning around he said, "We have a problem. We do not have all control of New Jersey, yet. The orbs aren't working." He turned to his king. "I've sent several to Gotham and none are working."
King Launk shot out of his throne. "How is that possible?" He pointed to the General. "Take me there!"
When Lakeisha Smith walked out of 7 Eleven, her mouth dropped. "Girrrrl," she said into the phone her right hand was holding. "I'm gonna have to call you back. Some crazy mother just walked out a space ship."
"Don't be playin.'"
"I'm serious. You know how crazy Gotham is. Guy looks like a cat that fell in a container of cheese puffs." Lakeisha hung up.
Since the spaceship had come to a stop above the brown stone buildings in the area and King Launk stood in the middle of the road, traffic had come to a stop. A few people had stepped out of their cars.
People were pouring out of buildings into the street.
King Launk raised his hand. "People of Gotham. I am King Launk of Zwerk, son of Emperor—"
"Man," said a teen standing at the bus stop across from the 7 eleven, "ain't nobody give a crap who you are."
"I have conquered your fellow northern states," continued Launk. "Our weaponry renders your military useless. I am now your ruler."
"Oh, hell no!" yelled a woman from an apartment window. "You ain't no ruler of me. Who do you think you are?"
King Launk bristled. "I just said that I am King—"
Two loud and long honks coming from a blue sedan cut him off. A man's head poked out of the driver's side window. "Hey crap for brains! Move out of the way, your blocking traffic!"
Another honk, this time from a yellow corvette. "Yeah, get your harry ass out of the way."
King Launk glared. "What is wrong with you people?" He waved at his space ship. "Do you not see how superior we are to your primitive society?"
A loud laugh came from a pretty blonde standing in front of a hair salon. "Oh, you can make space ships, but you can't figure out how to create Nair or razors?"
"Yeah," said the man in the blue sedan, "he's got more hair than my cousin Vinney!"
"Orbs!" King Launk flung out his arm and hundreds of tiny orbs flew out of the space ship to hover around the crowd of people. They began to glow. "Now, you are mine."
There was a long silence. After a moment, some people began to look at each other.
"Was that supposed to do something," said Lakeisha.
"I don't know," said a twenty something male leaning on the 7 eleven door. "I'm still trying to figure out if I'm really stoned."
The blue sedan's engine revved and then it began to move forward. It drove around the King and down the road. The other cars started doing the same.
The King curled his fists. "Why isn't it working!" He glared at the people of Gotham. "It should be controlling your minds!"
"Dude," said the blonde in front of the salon. "Do you know how many times we all have gotten beamed or drugged over the years with something that affects our mind? We're practically immune."
"Why are you not afraid!"
Laughter erupted. After a moment, the laughter started to die down.
"Oh, he's serious," someone in a crowd said.
"Man," said the teen at the bus stop. "You're in Gotham. You aren't scary. The Joker, now the Joker, he is scary."
"The King waved his hand in dismissal. "It is no matter. My orbs will take the rest of the cold states and I will send your own army against this city."
"Bring it!" shouted someone. A few cheers broke out.
"Do you have no concept of fear, you ignorant beasts?"
"You can't beat Gotham," said a male voice from within the crowd. "Because Gotham is filled with Plums."
The King blinked.
A hand belonging to the male voice rose up in a fist. "Plums! Plums! Plums!"
"PLUMS! PLUMS!PLUMS!" yelled the people crowding the streets.
The King frowned. "I think the translator is broke," he said into his com link. "Are you getting this? They are calling themselves fruit. Am I correct? A plum is a fruit?"
"According to our data of the Earthlings," said one of the technicians in the space craft, "a plum is an indehiscent fruit in which an outer fleshy part surrounds a shell, the pit, seed inside. It is sometimes dried and called a prune. Prunes are used as a laxative."
"The translator is working properly," said another technician.
The King looked out at the crowd.
"We are PLUMS! We are PLUMS!"
The King took a step back. "The orbs must not be working on account that these earthlings have a mental defect."
"Our data could be wrong," said the General in the ship. "What if the orbs do not work, because they are not earthlings, but another alien species assuming the physical appearance of earthlings? Perhaps Plum is the name of their Planet? It would make more sense as to why they do not fear us."
"I was not aware another species had claimed this territory," said the King growing more and more troubled. His people could not afford a war. They were stealthy conquers and their orbs could only do so much. He pointed out to the crowed. "People of Plum, who do you answer to?"
The chants of PLUMS died down. "Sometimes the mayor," mumbled somebody and there was laughter.
"Batman!" shouted the male voice which had started the chants of PLUMS. "We answer to Batman!"
There were yells, claps, and whistling. "Batman! Batman! Batman!"
The King frowned.
Batman had a list of nightmares he never wanted to come to life. One of them was having the entire Justice League's minds controlled. Sure, it had happened before, but he had never wanted it to happen again.
And now it had. Worst, from what he had gathered, the military would be of no help, because the aliens just kept making them forget they were there.
Batman sat in a cell with the rest of the Justice League, excluding Martian Manhunter who was on Mars taking care of some business. Everyone, save for Batman, had expressions of complete contentment. It was as if they were watching a feel-good movie in their heads. Batman was the only one in the room chained, because for some reason the mind control did not work on him. For the last few hours, he had been trying of ways to escape. He had not thought of anything yet, but it was only a matter of time.
The door to the cell creaked open, King Launk appeared. "Batman, I know your true identity."
"You should have told me when we took you and your comrades in, that you were the King of Plum."
Batman blinked. "Richard," he mumbled in exasperation. He looked to Launk for any hint of teasing. King Launk face was grave.
"You are the King of Plum?"
Batman cleared his throat. "Yes, I am . . . the King of Plum. How did you come by this information?"
"Your people call for you. Why did you not announce your presence?"
Batman straightened his shoulders, or as much as he could being confined as he was. "I did not inform you, because it should have been known." He said playing along to whatever Nightwing's crazy idea was. "I thought you did not care and this was an act of aggression on my people."
The King waved his hands passively. "No. No" he chuckled and waved at a guard to remove Batman from his chains. "Mistakes were done. We do not want war with anyone."
"Then why make war on Earth?"
"Why . . . no one cares about earthlings!" Launk laughed as if Batman had made a joke. "But if you claim earth as your own. Then, we will let you be."
Free from the chains, Batman rubbed his wrists. "Yes, I do claim earth . . ." he sighed, he was going to strangle Dick later. "In the name of Plum," he said managing not to roll his eyes.
The king nodded. "Then I will call my father and we will leave your planet. We want no fight with you. Your people our strong with courage and are a prideful bunch. No doubt war would be drawn out."
The Zwerks left. The people who had crowded the Gotham street earlier had gone about their business, save for one man. The man who had shouted PLUMS first, Richard Grayson.
Batman stood in the street where the Zwerks had dropped him off.
Dick walked up to him. "Oh my god, Batman! I've always wanted to meet you!"
Batman's eyes narrowed.
"Don't be such a grumpy goose." Dick smirked. "Can I get your autograph? I can totes get a lot of money from Ebay."
"That was an unorthodox, yet clever plan."
Dick quirked an eyebrow. "What plan?"
"The plan were you got the aliens to think I was the King of the Plums, an alien race they do not want war with."
Dick frowned. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You did not tell him I was the King of the Plums."
"I'm sorry I didn't hear you."
""You did not tell him I was the King of the Plums."
"You were what?"
"I'm King of the Pl—" Batman's eyes narrowed. Dick was smiling. He clearly had heard him before.
Dick laughed. "I didn't know you were the King of the Plums," Dick wheedled. "Seems like a huge responsibility, hope it doesn't affect your nightly escapades."
"Eleven years. I cannot believe PLUMS is still a thing."
"Are you mad at plums, because you are really a melon? You know, tough skin on the outside, but soft on the inside?" Dick smiled at Batman's glare. "In all honesty, PLUMS was not some clever plan to get you out. After the League went to check out the disturbance the Watch Tower was picking up, Superman made the call that it was all clear and nothing to worry about—"
"He was being mind controlled."
"I know that now," said Dick. "Anyway, I came downtown to see a movie and, low and behold, I come across a space ship. I just became part of the crowd. People were riled up. I thought it was a good time as any to shout PLUMS."
"There is never a good time to shout PLUMS."
Dick gasped. His face drawn in horror. "How can you say that, you're the King of Plums!"
"I'm going to strangle you."
Thanks for reading! That is enough PLUMS stories for now. I am working on some more father son family focused one shots for future chapters.