Long Summary: "Winter is coming... But not to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada! However, it may come to the Russo mafia family, the DWMA/Capricorn Pirates, and the extended family of Yao Wang, because they're all fighting with each other over some bad investments. But, things really heat up when Shinigami-san, principal of the DWMA, is forced to do community service after a few mishaps involving vandalism of Ladd Russo's penthouse in the Cosmopolitian, a stolen car, and jay-walking. This means war, because winter is coming!"
Author's Note: Here it is, my Game of Thrones parody. I will be parodying the T.V. show and not the book, because it will be less confusing and take up less space. I would also like to extend a special thanks to Queen Eli, who agreed to write the even-numbered episodes while I write the odd-numbered episodes. Without further ado, let's get this show on the road!
Disclaimer: Queen Eli and I do not own A Game of Thrones, Soul Eater, Baccano!, Hetalia, and Vocaloid. Queen Eli also does not own my OCs from One Piece: Parallel Works, because I own them. Also, Shinigami-san's community service and what led up to it won't be until around episode eight or nine.
Episode 1: "Pilot."
Summary: "In the obligatory pilot episode, we are introduced to the Russo mafia family, the Shibusen-Capricorn Alliance (why they are an alliance, we will never know), and the Wang familiy. All is well... Until Shinigami-san is asked to move from Reno to Las Vegas to take over the Vegas/Death City branch of Shibusen. These are the events that spark the modern, comedic re-telling of Game of Thrones."
Summary #2: "After a rough day of serving on jury duty, Shinigami-san, the head of the powerful Shibusen-Capricorn Alliance (which was probably created to make one of the authoresses of this fic happy), is asked to transfer to Las Vegas, Nevada, to take over the Vegas branch of Shibusen. He obliges and moves everyone in the alliance to Vegas. All is well in their new home... Until Marie is forced into arranged marriage to one of Wang Yao's sons and Soul and Black*Star walk in on Claire Standfelt and Chane Laforet... Doing things too R-rated to outright say in this summary. Yeah... It's just like a sitcom, but it's a Game of Thrones parody! Oh, and a lad from Brooklyn named Firo Prochainezo gets married, but who cares about that? (sarcasm)"
A shinigami known simply as "Shinigami-san" awoke. Currently, he was in a court house in Reno, Nevada, perfoming jury duty.
"Shinigami-san, what do you find the defendants?" The judge asked as he motioned to two "criminals" named Jacuzzi Splot and Nice Holystone.
"Oh! Uhh... We the jury find the defendants not guilty?" Shinigami-san questioned. The next thing he knew, Shinigami-san was literally being kicked out of the courthouse.
"Goddamn it. That's the second time this week," Shinigami-san commented before he tripped over a box. "Goddamn it!"
A purple cat with a witches' hat walked out of the box.
"Aww! So cute! I'm taking it home with me!" Shinigami-san said as he picked up the cat. A few minutes later, he arrived at the home he shared with his colleagues.
"Honey, I'm home!" Shinigami-san greeted the teenagers playing on the Nintendo Wii in the front room.
"That's nice. Get me a sandwich," A boy named Soul Eater Evans said as he attempted to do yoga on the Wii Fit mat.
"Me too!" A boy who will surpass God named Black*Star yelled.
"No. You'll spoil your dinner," A girl reading a large book titled A Dance With Dragons named Maka Albarn explained as a woman named Marie Miljonir entered with tons of food from KFC.
"Dinner's ready! Spirit, can you be a dear and help set the table?" Marie asked a red-haired man named Spirt Albarn.
"Do I have to? I did it last night!" Spirit whined. Marie glared at him.
"Do it, or I'm taking your porn magazines," Marie threatened. One huge arguement, several bitch-slaps, and three porn magazines in the trash later...
"Alright, everyone, dinner's ready!" Marie announced as all of Shinigami-san's colleagues, the Shibusen-Capricorn Alliance, entered. Besides Shinigami-san, Spirit, Maka, Soul, Black*Star, and Marie, there was Tsubaki Nakatsukasa, Death the Kid, Patty and Liz Thompson, Professor Franken Stein, Yumi Azusa, Justin Law, Sid, Medusa Gorgon, Crona Gorgon, and all of the Capricorn Pirates consisted of this alliance.
"Bitchin'! We got KFC!" Soul said as everyone sat down to dinner.
"I don't care. I had to lose three good copies of Hustler Magazine to make sure everyone's fed," Spirit said sadly.
"Dad, they were just magazines. You can buy new ones at the store after dinner," Maka explained. Spirit began to cry.
"The magazines won't be the same, Maka! One of those issues was a sexy lingerie issue, and this one chick had the biggest boobies I -" Spirit sobbed before Azusa cut him off.
"I don't think anybody wants to hear about that. There are children present," Azusa explained as she pointed to Drusilla, Black*Star, and Dewey with her fork.
"Ahhh, porn. That's the kind of man I was," Sid commented as he threw his chicken bone out the window.
"Ow! My coccyx!" A guy walking past the house cried, because he got hit by the flying chicken bone. Everyone in the alliance laughed.
"Why are we laughing?" Kid asked everyone, holding back laughs.
"I think it's because 'coccyx' is a funny word," Heathcliffe answered, on the verge of laughter.
"Speaking of funny words, I believe there's a message for Shinigami-san on the answering machine," Marie explained. Shinigami-san got up and went over to play the answering machine in the other room.
"Hello, Shinigami-san. It's me, Mephisto Pheles. I have some good news for you~! The Millennium Earl backed out on me and took my money AND my sandwich, so... You got the principal's job at Shibusen's BEAU-TI-FUL Las Vegas/Henderson/Death City branch. You start the job in a few days. Have fun~!"
Shinigami-san then screamed like an excited little girl as he ran into the dining room.
"What's going on? Are you having a stroke?" Spirit asked Shinigami-san.
"Did somebody die?" Soul asked Shinigami-san.
"Are you pregnant?" Holden asked in a serious manner. Everyone else gave him weird looks. "Guys, I was kidding."
"I got the job! We're moving to Las Vegas!" Shinigami-san announced. Everyone cheered.
"Fuck yeah! We're moving to Vegas!" Black*Star cheered.
"Women! Booze! Sex! More booze! Phantom of the Opera at the Venetian! Even more booze! Gambling! Whores! More whores! Even more whores! Even more -" Spirit cheered before Maka cut him off.
"Dad, we get it. We're moving. Vegas is not all sex, drugs, booze, and gambling," Maka explained.
"Well, anyway, let's leave for Vegas tomorrow! Pack your things, we're boarding up the house!" Spirit explained. Everyone cheered.
"We're home!" Shinigami-san said as they pulled into Las Vegas the next afternoon.
"Oh, my God! It looks just like it does in the commercials!" Black*Star commented.
"Now, everyone, I want ALL OF YOU to be on your best behavior while we live here. Just remember that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and you'll be fine," Shinigami-san explained as he drove the car past the Strip and toward the suburb of Henderson.
"Oh, crap, crap, crap," Spirit said to himself.
"Anything wrong?" Azusa asked, not looking up from her book titled Living in Sin City for Dummies.
"I just remembered that people I'm not on good terms with live here," Spirit explained.
"You never know. They probably moved," The cat Shinigami-san picked up the day before - whose name was "Blair" - explained.
"Yeah, right! One of them has a suite at the Cosmopolitian Las Vegas!" Spirit argued as Shinigami-san pulled into the driveway of a mansion.
"Welcome home, bitches!" Shinigami-san said as everyone got out of the car.
"Holy cow, we're gonna be living like we're at King's Landing, but without the death, incest, and Prince Joffery!" Soul cheered as the alliance entered the mansion.
"I wanna go swimming!" Heathcliffe said.
"I wanna buy some porn at the corner store!" Spirit said.
"Swimming!" Heathcliffe argued.
"Porn!" Spirit argued.
"Shut up, or nobody's going swimming or buying any porn!" Sid yelled.
"What? I can't hear you!" Justin yelled, for he had his iPod earphones in his ears. "I wanna beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee anarchy!"
Professor Stein facepalmed.
"Why did he get hired again?" Professor Stein asked Medusa.
"I have no clue," Medusa said.
"Say, Maka, Soul, wanna invite some neighborhood kids over for a housewarming party I'm planning on having tomorrow?" Shinigami-san offered the weapon meister and her weapon.
"Of course, because the power of friendship will conquer all in this Game of Thrones parody!" Maka said cheerfully.
"No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just... Just go invite some kids. That was so uncalled for, Maka," Shinigami-san explained.
"Yeah, Maka, that was totally uncalled for," Black*Star said. A few minutes later, Maka and Soul were going around the neighborhood and asking people to come to Shinigami-san's housewarming party.
"Hi, we're new to the neighborhood. Would you like to come to our housewarming party?" Maka asked two brothers named Edward and Alphonse Elric.
"Can't. We have to bring our mother back from the dead," Edward answered. A few minutes later...
"Hey, we're your new neighbors. Wanna party at our house tomorrow?" Soul asked a man named Roronoa Zoro.
"Of course! That is, if I can find the place," Zoro explained. A few more minutes later...
"Hi, we're new to the neighborhood. Would you like to come to our housewarming party tomorrow?" Maka asked a teen with a stroller named Oga Tatsumi.
"Sorry, I have to babysit," Oga explained as he pulled a green-haired baby named Baby Beel out of the stroller.
"Aww! What a cute baby!" Maka commented. Baby Beel then peed on Soul.
"What the hell?" Soul cried. The next day, the housewarming party was about to begin.
"So far, so good. Everything's falling into place, and I think that we'll be off to a good start in this neighborhood," Spirit said to himself as the doorbell rang. "Maka, go get that!"
"Just be glad that we're not living in Panem, or Westeros, or even Voldemort-occupied Hogsmeade. If that were the case, some of us would be dead after this party," Marie explained as she put a bowl of chips on the table.
"Thank you, fuck you, the villain has arrived!"
Ladd Russo and his entourage consisting of Lua Klein, Huey Laforet, Chane Laforet, and Claire Standfelt entered. Spirit grew pale.
Wang Yao and his extended family, consisting of his little brother, Leon, older brother Zhao, little sister, Mei, and adopted wards Honda Kiku, Honda Hiro, Stacey Tran, Char Li, and Im Yong Soo, entered. Spirit's eyes grew wide. (1)
"Maka, sweetie, come with me," Spirit said as he ushered Maka out of the room. "Maka, why did you invite daddy's enemies to our party?"
"Those were your enemies?" Maka asked Spirit.
"Yes, Maka, they are," Spirit explained.
"How did that happen?" Maka asked again.
"Ladd Russo, Yao Wang, and I all invested in a casino resort development going on in China. I thought it was a risky deal, so I backed out. Turns out, it was sucessful, and the two got rich. Then, Ladd and his right-hand man, Claire Standfelt, got into a fight with Yao, because they thought he knew it was going to be sucessful all because his older brother, Zhao Wang, was a bookkeeper for the construction firm building it. Then, Claire and Ladd turned on me and accused me of collaborating with the Wangs, and it sorta escalated from there," Spirit explained. "Oh, and add in the fact that Ladd heads the Russo mafia family."
"Wow. That sucks. We could be really rich right now," Maka commented.
"Totally. And, I would be a pimp," Spirit said in agreement. "Though, I should let bygones be bygones and have a good time today."
"I think you should, dad. Just... Don't have sex with the enemy," Maka said.
Over in Mexico, a woman named Ennis was about to get married.
"Why am I marrying Firo again?" Ennis asked her "adoptive grandfather", Silzard Quates.
"Because we need to bring down the Russo mafia family once and for all," Silzard explained.
"But, Firo and I have only been dating for a month! We can't go all the way yet!" Ennis protested. One of the best men, Graham Spector, approached the two.
"Guys, we are two minutes away from a marriage," Graham reminded the two. Slizard just gave him the thumbs-up.
"Alright, Ennis, go out there, marry Firo, and bring down the Russos, no matter what," Slizard said.
"Right," Ennis said with a nod. She then walked up to the altar, where the groom, Firo Prochainezo, was standing. Also at the altar were Firo's best men, Graham, Maiza Avaro, Reuben Shaft, and Czeslaw Meyer. Czeslaw's girlfriend, Mary Beriam, was the flower girl.
"Let's do dis," Firo said. Maiza got out a sawed-off shotgun.
"Ladd Russo will pay for this," Maiza said.
The next day, in Vegas, the housewarming party came to a painful end. You see, the adults did a LOT of drinking the night before, and they were now waking up with bad hangovers.
"Fuck... What happened last night?" Spirit asked everyone.
"Man, was I messed up," Professor Stein said. Zhao and Sid then came out of a closet and looked at each other.
"Well, then... This is awkward," Sid commented.
"I don't feel so good, aru," Yao said before he threw up in Ajax's birdcage. The kids and teens watching the spectacle shook their heads.
"Should we give them something? I mean, I don't know how to deal with hangovers," Crona asked everyone.
"I dunno. They drank tons of booze last night," Kazuma commented. Soul came out of the bathroom with an expensive cell phone.
"Is there anybody named 'Zhao' at this party? We found your cell phone in a toilet," Soul explained. Zhao grabbed his phone and put it in his pocket.
"Well, I am never drinking tequila again after what happened last night," Medusa commented as the guests began to get up and move about.
"Can somebody tell me if I got into a fight with Kazuma? I'm pretty sure I did," Justin asked everyone.
"I think somebody jacked my money," Wolfgang said.
"Yao, what's this?" Leon asked as he handed his older brother a piece of paper. Yao read it over and smiled.
"It's a marriage contract, aru! It says here that you're getting married to a woman named... Marie Miljonir when you turn eighteen!" Yao announced happily.
"Excuse me? I don't remember signing that!" Marie cried.
"You signed it when you were drunk, aru. As for me, I signed it when I was sober," Yao explained. Marie facepalmed.
"Look here, squirt, when we divorce, I get everything," Marie explained.
"Good for you. It's almost impossible to back out of the Wang family's marriage contracts," Leon said apathetically. A few minutes later, the guests were preparing to leave.
"I'm sorry I stripped down to my underwear and sang Go Go Carlito," Lua apologized to Shinigami-san before leaving the house.
"I'm sorry I forced the kids to see the scene in Bambi where Bambi's mother dies," Zhao apologized to Shinigami-san before leaving.
"I'm sorry for trying to perform Inception on you. Have some fruitcake as a token of my apology," Mei apologized as she gave a fruitcake to Shinigami-san.
"Where did you get that?" Shinigami-san asked Miku.
"Oh, Kiku stole a golf cart last night and drove to 7-11 to buy this fruitcake, some Slurpees, girly shampoo, Mexican cakes, wonton noodles, and more booze. Oh, and ice cream," Mei explained before leaving. Since Mei was the last to leave, Shinigami-san closed the front door behind him.
"Remind me never to invite those people over to drink again," Shinigami-san told Maka.
"Okay, I won't," Maka said, not looking up from the book she was reading, which was The Hunger Games.
"Hey, Maka, where's Blair? She went missing last night while we were partying," Soul asked Maka.
"I don't know. Has Blair been fixed yet?" Maka asked Soul. A laughtrack went off in the background.
"How the hell should I know? I'm not a vet," Soul cried. Then, Heathcliffe entered the room. Unfortunately, he was naked, covered in soap, and wet.
"Soul, Maka, there's a naked catgirl in the shower," Heathcliffe said. Soul and Maka sweatdropped.
"Put some clothes on!" Maka yelled as she threw a pillow at Heathcliffe. Soul sighed.
"I think that's Blair. I'll be right back," Soul said before walking away. "Black*Star, you're coming upstairs with me for emotional support!"
A minute later, Soul and Black*Star were upstairs looking for the bathroom Heathcliffe was showering in.
"Soul, did Heathcliffe tell you WHICH bathroom he was showering in?" Black*Star asked Soul.
"No, and that doesn't help me at all. I mean, how many bathrooms are in this mansion?" Soul asked Black*Star.
"Oh, Claire, you're soo good in bed!"
Soul and Black*Star then went to the nearest room with an open door, which was a bedroom. Inside, Claire and Chane were... You know.
"Black*Star," Soul said.
"Yes, Soul?" Black*Star asked Soul.
"Being a dude is awesome!" Soul shouted. Chane and Claire looked up. "Ummm... Hi, there."
Chane then put on a nightgown and walked over to the two boys.
"Uhh... We didn't mean to walk in on you two having sex! Uhh... Please, don't hurt us!" Black*Star pleaded. Unfortunately, Chane maimed Black*Star and Soul.
"Will Soul and Black*Star survive getting maimed? How will married life play out for Firo and Ennis? Are Ladd Russo, Silzard Quates, and Yao Wang REALLY that evil? What happened last night at the party? All this and more will be answered in the next episode of Game of Thrones - The Modern Re-Telling!"
End of Episode One.
(1) - Hiro Honda is my human name for Nikko Nikko Prefecture, Stacey Tran is my human name for Vietnam, Char Li is my human name for Thailand, Leon Wang is my human name for Hong Kong, and Zhao Wang is my human name for Macau. (All are Hetalia characters, BTW)
Review if you want to see Firo and Ennis' honemoon at Niagra Falls, Soul and Black*Star in the hospital, and more antics in episode two!