AN: Random little one shot I made up.
It felt like the first time in weeks that I finally got some sleep.
My memory had started to come back a little. I guess there are some things even technology cant take away. Kowalski had taken some tests too, saying that most of all memoies will be back in a few weeks. But he did say that some of my memories will never come back. I wonder if those memories are important.
I wanted so badly to focus on sleeping. I was exhausted. Walking over thousands of miles to New York, riding along the sea on a raft, and coming back to battle against your arch enemy takes a lot out of you. But I couldn't fall asleep no matter how tired I was.
Private was sleeping on the bunk below me. As if he was sleeping. The penguin was just turning over and over. Every once in a while he would sit up, like he wanted to speak, but then put his head on the pillow again. I knew something was on his mind.
"Private?" I whispered. "Something wrong?"
The shufling ceased and for a moment I thought he had fallen asleep. Until a soft voiced asked in the darkness, "What do you think it's like to be them?"
Again, Private took a moment to answer. "The lobsters. The ones working for Blowhole. What do you think they think of themselves?"
Honestly, I really didn't care. Although I was a little curious on why Private had been thinking of this. "I don't know," I answered. "I guess like they're important. Like all races think they are."
"I guess I might've beleved that a few days ago, but not today. I mean, with some insects, they don't have a mind. Not really. The mind is the queen or whatever and the other ants or something are the body. Isn't that like Blowhol and his lobsters? He's the brain, and the lobsters are the body. He tells them what to do, and they just... do it."
I sighed. There was really nothing to this conversation. I could be asleep right now. And I really need some sleep. "So? What's the point?" I asked, more harshly then intended.
Private shook his head, like he was still pondering it himself.
"It's just, well... they have minds you know? They must all have thoughts and different lives and history- but then poof, it doesn't matter anymore. How can one person, like blowhole just not care? It's like taking someone's life, but worse. Because they're still alive, but not really. You know?"
My eyes were begging to close, but ignored it. "Gee Private, I don't know. Stalin did something kind of like that. So does a lot of dictators out there. Force armies to kill their own people, or put them in work camps and leave them to starve. They don't care about those peoples individual life stories. Blowhole doesn't either."
I heard Private shutter.
"That's just so terrible. How easy it is now to just take someone's life. How some people can do it withot a second thought. Geez... how does someone like Blowhole or Stalin live like that? How do they do that?"
"Because they think what they're doing is right. Like 'My God wanted me to do this' or 'The government is run like this so it's okay'." I still really didn't care. But it was obvious that Prvate needed to talk.
He paused, thinking.
"But Blowhole doesn't do it bcause of religion, or race, or government or anything like that. He just... does it. Why does he think he's right?"
"I don't know Private!" I hissed, tired and angry at the conversation. "Maybe he is!" I blurted it out before I cold even think. Right away I was begging that I could take it back.
I thought Private was gong to gasp, or shout at me, or give me a very spiritual speech. But instead he just sighed, disappointed.
"We get more and more like him everyday, don't we?"
I couldn't believe what he had said. What did he mean? No we don't. That little outburst of mine meant nothing. I don't pay attention to what I say or do when I'm realy tired. He knows that. There was that one time that I was so tired, that I thought Private was a traitor, and I... I thought I had killed him.
"You should be with Manfredi and Johnson! You know, one up there, one down there."
"Well isn't this a pretty picture! The whole unit in the pocky!"
"No mercy Private!"
Was Private right? Were we turning more like blowhole everyday? Surely I of all people would notice...
"That's never gonna happen Private." I said finally, coming to a decision.
"It's never gonna happen, or at least not anymore, because you're here with us."