I Want Lady Sif
Loki wanted everything Thor had. He wanted his fame, he wanted his power, and he wanted his charisma. He wanted the fierce maiden who proved herself worthy to be a warrior, Lady Sif.
Of all the things that Thor had, Loki wanted her the most.
He wasn't sure if he wanted her to spite his brother or because he had legitimate feelings for her; he supposed he would figure that out along the way.
He envied the time Thor spent with her, laughing and sparring.
He and Sif were once very close. She used to sit with him in the gardens, inquiring about what magic book he was reading that time. He would smile at her and tell her everything about what he wanted to learn next. And she would listen, fascination glittering in her blue eyes.
However, now that she and Thor were getting closer, she seemed to have no time for Loki anymore.
She was becoming a warrior. When she and Loki were together, she was still just the young girl with a dream; nothing more than that.
Loki watched Thor and Sif from afar as they walking back to the feasting hall from a long day of training. Both of them were sweating and panting, but they still had smiles on their faces.
"My dominance over Fandral made me laugh so hard," Sif said.
"I know! I also had fun, beating you," Thor chortled.
"You did not beat me. I fell."
"Right, right, you fell." He winked at her, and Loki could swear a tint of pink appeared on her cheeks that had nothing to do with exhaustion.
"Oh, great," he murmured to himself. "Is she actually falling in love with that idiot?"
When Thor put his arm around Sif and laughed loudly, Loki couldn't take it.
He got up, brushed his pants, and went to the feasting hall, where he could avoid them for a little while longer.
The Warriors Three arrived moments later, followed by Thor and Sif, who had, according to Volstagg, stayed behind for a little bit to talk.
"We saw the flower you gave her, Thor," Volstagg chuckled.
Thor blushed, but laughed it off. "What of it? Just because Sif is a might warrior, it does not mean she is not beautiful."
"And there goes Sif's blush," Loki muttered.
"Loki, I did not see you at the training halls today," Thor said, walking over to his brother.
"Oh, I did not feel like it today," he explained. "I went to the library to read up more on illusions."
"You dabble in too much magic," Thor scolded. "You need to practice getting your muscles bigger. Strength is what one needs to succeed."
"That is your opinion."
"Opinion? Nay! It is fact!"
"One must have a ready mind in order to achieve one's goals," Loki said calmly.
"Get your head out of books. Come train with us tomorrow."
"I'd rather not. Just allow me to study magic in peace." Loki didn't want to admit it, but part of him hoped that Sif would decide to visit him in the library tomorrow, and rekindle that relationship they once had. He glanced at her, but she wasn't paying anything attention now that his and Thor's argument was behind them. She was now more interested in Thor's retelling of today's sparring.
Loki felt his body heat up with jealously, but he kept his eyes on his book. It was difficult to keep his hands from trembling as he involuntary looked over the text and saw Sif beam with fascination.
He wished to speak up and tell them stories about how much magic he had learned in the past few days. Perhaps they would find his skills useful. Every time he opened his mouth, however, his voice failed him.
Who was he kidding? All they cared about was brute force, even Sif who once showed a great interest in learning the skills of a sorcerer.
Loki shut his book, got up, and left the hall.
He was unnoticed, as he had expected. Who would wish to speak to him when they had the mighty Thor?
He had no idea what to do now. He could go to his chambers and read in silence, but somehow, that seemed unsatisfactory right now.
What he really wanted was to talk to someone. To brag, in a sense, of his new abilities.
The only person he knew who would give him the time of day was his mother. So, he went up to his parents' chambers and found her, indulged in a book of her own. Odin, his father, was nowhere to be found.
"Hello, Mother," Loki said.
"Oh, hello, Loki," she said, looking up from her book to smile at him. "If you're wondering, your father is discussing peace treaties with other realms."
"What brings you here? I would think you'd be spending some time with your friends."
Loki sighed and took a seat next to her.
"To be truthful, I am not feeling as though we are friends."
She put her book down and stared at him seriously. "What do you mean by that, darling?"
"They are so indulged in Thor's stories of violence and strength, I go by unnoticed. He says magic will not help me in battle."
Frigg touched her son's cheek. "You know how Thor is. He relies on his power to fight. You rely on your mind."
"A ready mind is nothing to him," Loki said grimly.
"He will learn in time."
"Mother, would you like to hear of what I've learned?" He asked hopefully.
Frigg smiled hugely. "Yes, I would, Loki."
Loki smiled and showed her his book. He explained all about the illusions, and how he planned to trick his enemies into fighting the fake Loki. He also told her of other spells he had learned, such as the spell to get inside one's mind. He figured it would be pretty useful against opponents and make them go mad.
"You are learning are a great deal," Frigg said admirably. "I am so proud of you, my son." She kissed him on the head.
"She used to think it was interesting as well, but now Thor has gotten inside her head," Loki said without thinking.
"Lady Sif?" Frigg asked. "She used to sit with you in the gardens while you read and practiced, did she not?"
"Yes, she did. She hasn't done that in years. No, she prefers to spend her time with him."
"Loki, are you jealous of your elder brother?" By Loki's flushed face and refusal to answer the question, Frigg came to the conclusion that he was jealous.
"You are in love with Lady Sif."
"M-mother, do not say such things," Loki mumbled hastily, trying to dab away the sweat on his forehead. He hated that she just assumed; she did not even ask.
"Loki, I am a mother. I know these things."
Loki became interested in his fingers. He twiddled them for a while before he finally looked up to meet his mother's eyes. "I just want things to be the way they used to be," he said softly.
"Loki…" She said. He could not hide something that so blatantly obvious, not from her at least.
He sighed deeply, dropping his head. "Yes. I suppose I am. I thought my desire for her was just because I wanted what Thor had. I didn't think it could be anything deeper than that."
"Well, it is," she told him.
"Thank you for listening to me, Mother," Loki said, getting up. "I think I shall take my leave now."
"Goodbye, Loki. Do what you think is best."
He had a suspicion that she wanted him to confess to Sif. She knew that Sif had feelings for Thor, so why confess?
He shook his head to clear his thoughts and went to the garden.
He hadn't gone to the garden to read since Sif became a warrior. He had instead stayed in the library, no matter how terribly stuffy it got.
He felt weird being there without her.
People rarely came to this part of the garden. There was nothing here to really attract their attention for too long. It was just grass with only a few flowers growing. Nothing special.
It was special to him. He liked that no one came here. It was his place… It was his and her place.
He had received his very first kiss here from Sif.
After an argument with her parents, Sif stormed to the garden to find Loki, lying against the grass, watching the clouds float by.
She was in angry tears, and he immediately sat upright.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
Sif sat next to him, rubbing away her tears with her sleeve. "It's my parents," she cried. "What did they do?"
"They were…" She hiccupped. "…telling me that I should be searching for a husband. I should be spending my time with the eligible bachelors and find one suited to me. I told them I had no intention of being married. They told me it was not ladylike. I told them I didn't want to be a lady; I wanted to be a warrior! My father yelled at me, my mother cried. My mother said I needed to find someone to support me, someone who would kiss me and hold me… And…" She rubbed away more tears. "...And be there for me." She looked into Loki's green eyes. "I don't want any of that, Loki! You know how tough I am!"
"I do," he replied.
"And what's the big deal about kissing?" She asked angrily. "Have you ever been kissed?"
"N-no," he gulped. "Have you?"
"No. I don't see the point about it. Everyone says it's nice and all. Loki, I want to try it."
He blushed. "T-try it? With who?"
"Well, you; you're the only one here," Sif said.
"But why? Kissing isn't that big a deal; you said so yourself!"
"I want to try it and see what the fuss is about," she pressed. "Please, Loki? Please? Don't you want to see why everyone's crazy about it?"
Loki watched her for a moment or two. "Well, I suppose so. Alright, but only once. Got it?"
Loki closed his eyes and leaned closer toward her. He was worried he wouldn't be any good; he had never kissed a girl before.
When their lips locked, it felt strangely pleasing. He wasn't sure what to do with his hands, so he kept them at his side. He suspected that Sif did too because he did not feel her hands.
She broke away first. She touched her lips. "Not bad, but still not a big deal, huh?"
"Nope, nope," he said. Though, he did feel something in the pit of his stomach, but he wasn't going to admit that. Besides, he was known for lying, so why stop now?
Loki came back to reality; his book was still in his hand.
He pressed himself against the grass, put his hands over his chest, and watched the clouds roll lazily by.
"Loki?" Sif appeared over him, her ponytail dandling in front of her. "I was wondering where you've gone."
"Oh," he said, sitting upright. "I was just here." She actually noticed that he was no longer in the halls with the rest of them? "Is Thor done boasting?"
"He's done. He and Volstagg are having an eating contest."
"That sounds pleasant."
"I always loved your sarcasm." She sat next to him on the grass. "How's it going?"
"Remember when we used to come out here and just talk?" She asked.
"I miss those days."
"Do you?" He asked, unaware of the bitterness in his voice.
"Yes," she said skeptically. "New book, huh?"
"Yep." He showed her the cover of the book he had. He lay down again; Sif did the same.
They were immersed in silence; the only sounds came from birds and the rustling of the trees from the light wind.
"Remember that kiss we shared?" Sif asked.
"Yeah, I do," he replied. "Have you kissed anyone else since then?" He turned his head to see her better. He was pleased when she shook her head. "Yeah, me either."
Without warning, Sif put her hand on Loki's. He looked down at their hands and back up at her. He looked back to the sky, tightening his hold on her hand.
"One kiss for old time's sake?" She asked.
He gulped. "Sure, why not?"
She smiled, scooting closer to him, so their sides were touching.
She turned her head and kissed him.
This kiss was so much better than the one they had years ago.
Loki was more confident in himself, putting his hand on her cheek and deepening the kiss.
Sif was the first to break apart, much like she did before. "Much better than last time."
"I agree," he said, lips tingling. "I love you," he said out of nowhere.
Sif turned red. "W-what?"
"What? You misheard me…"
"You just told me you loved me."
Damn it, he thought. There must be a way out of this. Loki thought and thought, but he could not think. "I did," he said instead. "Of course, it matters not if you don't feel the same way. I'm sure I can use some magic to change your mind." He chuckled, but his smile faded when she did not smile back.
"I love you, too," she said.
"You're kidding," he said, his eyes full of shock. "What about Thor?"
"I do like Thor," she admitted. "But those feelings are nothing compared to this."
Loki smiled and kissed her again.
They looked back up to the sky, holding hands and watching the clouds until darkness fell.