Giving a meaning to it all.

Title: Giving a meaning to it all

Author: AbbyGibbs

Pairing: Morgan/Garcia and Gibbs and Abby
Rating: T or FR13
Spoilers: References to season 7's episode "Hope" but that's it.
Summary: Garcia cries because of something she's seen on the news and makes a decision.
Warning: Tissues might be needed
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to CBS and the people who created Criminal Minds.

Feedbacks: well, I'd love them, of course – who wouldn't? But please, only if you respect my work because it takes a lot of time and energy to get a story together. I love writing; I wouldn't allow anyone to discourage me from doing so, never. I don't have any problems at all with readers who choose not to go for this, but I decidedly do with those who write disrespectful mails just because they didn't get the ending they would have wanted. If you want to tell me what I might have done better within the story I made up, you're always very welcome to let me know. But if your only concern is to rant about it, then please, do it in private, okay? Thank you.

No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Please forgive me for this, but I didn't know how to deal with my feelings, and according the fact that writing really helps me, I really hope it will do its magic trick again and ease my pain a little bit As some of you might know there has been a bus crash about a week ago and there is no words to describe the hurt and chagrin we all feel about it, today's the burial of some of the victims and seeing the imagine of the coffins just was too much to handle, so I hope this will help.

Thanks in advance to those who will read this, and thanks to all my friends out there, love you all so much.

Derek Morgan was walking through the BAU, heading for his best friend sanctuary. His thoughts were drifting on a case they had a while ago. Penelope had actually brought the case to them: a member of her consoling group had disappeared, Monica Kingston.

Her disappearance had happened on her daughter's abduction's anniversary. Thank goodness the case had ended well somehow, Monica had been found back alive, but the poor woman had discovered how her daughter, Hope, had died, and that had been a horrifying event for her to acknowledge.

Derek wondered, why memories of that particular case were lingering into his mind, he shrugged because it wasn't the first time memories of a case flashed back. They had all experienced it before. It was impossible for them to do their job and then simply forget about the case once it was solved. Sometimes, they witnessed was unthinkable. They find a way to distance themselves from as much as possible to protect them from getting too much bruised or they never would be able to do their jobs. Someone had to catch the bastards, but that did not mean, they didn't have feelings au contraire.

Coming to a halt at the door of her sanctuary, Derek knocked softly.


Morgan frowned. This wasn't like her if she was concentrated on something she would say something, and he was certain she was still there, he hadn't seen her go out, not even to go to the bathroom.

Garcia wouldn't have left the building without telling anything because they'd made plans for tonight. He knocked again a little louder this time, still no reaction. Now this was really strange. Derek for the doorknob and slowly turned it. The door opened.

"Baby girl is there something wrong?" Morgan addressed her in a soft voice.

His question received no answer, instead he heard what he thought were moans. He approached her chair slowly and stood behind her like he often did and placed his hands on her shoulders. Only then did Derek realized that the noises she was making came from her sobbing. Her shoulders were shaking, her entire body was trembling, and whatever it was that made cry it must have been horrible.

SSA Derek Morgan knew his best friend well enough to know she was emotional, but it was never without a good reason. Derek slowly let go of her shoulders and make her chair make a half turn before, he put one knee down.

Reaching out, he hooked his right index finger under her chin to make her look at him and the sight met his eyes broke his heart. Her face was ravaged by tears His friend wasn't wearing her glasses, a quick glance at her desk revealed they were posed next to one of the keyboards on the desk.

Her eyes were red-rimmed, her face puffy, she and the furrows on her cheeks her tears were leaving behind were black because of the mascara she had put on this morning.

"Oh, Derek..." she said in a voice she didn't recognize as her own as it sounded rough by the emotion that came through it.

Penelope Garcia leaned forward and threw her arms around his neck. Morgan was slightly trough of balance for a second, but then he shifted positions and hand now both of his knees on the floor, so now he could hug her properly.

"What is it, Angel?"

All he could for an answer were more sobs coming from his friend. He held her more tightly against him and waited for her to calm down.

Neither of them knew after how much time, Penelope calmed down enough to speak, but she eventually did. Then she pulled back just an inch or two to be able to look at him. It's then that she realized, through her blurred vision that Derek Morgan was and would always be a positive thing in her life she would be able to rely on no matter what would happen. And before she knew what she was saying the words rolled out of her red ruby lips.

"I love you, Derek Morgan."

Derek was about to ask her if she was crying because of the realization she actually did before turning it into a joke, but something in her eyes prevented him to do such a thing. Even full of tears her eyes were telling him that she loved him in such a deeper way. A way that went beyond friendship. Seeing raw truth of her feelings for him, paralyzed him for a moment.

It wasn't that he didn't wonder about being with her. If he was really honest with himself he would admit that he had romantic feelings for his best friend and had them for quite a while, but he had given up any hope after she'd started dating Lynch, not that it would have normally stopped him, but Penelope seemed happy with Kevin so he hadn't tried anything.

And now... Now, she was telling him the words he had wanted to hear her say for so long. He had a hard time keeping the urge to tell her the words back This I love you wasn't one you tell your best friend, this was one you tell your lover, he knew. There was no doubt in his mind. And he was really happy about it, but Derek was afraid that Garcia had told him how she felt about him for the wrong reasons and he wanted to know what had triggered, the words to come out now.

Morgan brushed away the tears that were still running down her cheeks with his thumbs. "P. I love you too, and you have no idea, how long I have wanted to hear those wonderful words out of your gorgeous mouth, just the way you mean them now. But I want you to tell me why? Why are you telling them to me now?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes, it does." Derek said, softly but yet firmly.

"Don't you believe me?" She asked him, as new tears threatened to fall, the idea, he might doubt her, hurt she realized.

"It's not that, P. I know you mean them, and I know you meant them, but I know you, and something really horrible must have happened for you to finally tell me your true feelings about me. I'm a profiler remember? You wouldn't risk a safety of the cocoon to jump in the unknown just like that."

"I hate profilers."

Morgan chuckled, but grew serious almost immediately after.

Garcia blew her nose before taking a deep breath and finally told him why she was crying. Telling how she watched the news on different channels because no matter how horrible news was and that she had to force herself to, she wanted to know what happen in the world. Tonight she had heard horrifying news a bus had crashed, killing twenty two children, no one know what caused the vehicle to end up against the tunnel wall, because the bus was the only vehicle in the tunnel at that point. Six adults had died as well.

The question that everyone is asking is why. Garcia herself did.

Why did it have to happen? Everything happens for a reason, that was Garcia always said, though here she couldn't accept it. There couldn't be any valuable reason for something like that to happen never. It was unbearable, she didn't know any one of the kids or even the adults, she was miles away from where it had happened, but it hurt her too,

The cases they worked on sometimes had bad outcomes where children had died, but at least they someone they could blame it on, the bastard that had killed them. In the bus crash it was impossible. There was no one to blame. That's the worst of it all.

"Time heals every wound, some of them take longer to heal, but eventually they all do" Derek says then as he tightened his embrace again.

"I love you, Derek."

"I love you, too, Penelope Garcia, he whispered.

The reason that had pushed her to tell her friend how she really felt about him, was that she wanted to give a meaning to something that meaningless.


Thank you for reading, this is my way to try and give a reason to what happened that day. To deal with something that is so unfair. I kept it sober, I hope you guys will understand thank you.

Love you all; never stop telling your kids you love them. Never stop telling people you care about that you actually do.