Title: Love, Set, Match.

Rating: NC-17 – strictly! For language and sex!

Pairing: Arthur/Gwaine – who doesn't love this pairing!

Summary: Written for the Gwaine_Quest on LJ for the prompt: Competitive wii playing turns into competitive sex!

A/N: So... I had so much fun writing this and hopefully you'll have lots of fun reading it – if so, let me know! I love comments, nice comments – they always make my day!

Big thank you to my beta Gem, she's a superstar!


There were times that Gwaine loved living with Merlin.

His ability to make the world's best cup of tea was legendary. He always managed to squeeze the teabag just right to get it really strong without actually tearing the bag itself – cause that was a disaster, one that Gwaine regrettably had caused numerous times. Merlin also knew precisely what Gwaine meant when he said he'd take a dollop of milk with the tea. It was brilliant – he no longer had to drink weak, overly milky tea with tealeaves floating in it! Another of Merlin's sterling housemate qualities was his love of baking. There was always a ready supply of muffins or cookies or other delicious treats to consume when Gwaine got the munchies, or was in need of soakage – which was a regular occurrence. But his best virtue by way of housemate was that for some peculiar reason brushing Gwaine's hair seemed to have a soothing effect on him – so of course, Gwaine being the gent that he is, kindly lets Merlin unwind by brushing his hair as often as needs be.

These little quirks of Merlin's make life sharing the flat perfect!

There are days when Gwaine would spout Merlin's greatness to anyone who would listen.

However, today was not one of those days. Honestly he'd love to strangle the skinny Welsh man.

Merlin the lovable, the idiotic, the bumbling, clumsy, incurable dolt that he was, quite surprisingly had a friend. A best friend. Not that the having a friend aspect was surprising in itself – Merlin was always picking up strays – it was who the best friend was that was surprising, Gwaine would even say mildly alarming on occasion.

And as of the last three minutes and twenty two seconds, that best friend was glaring at Gwaine. The power of the glare was so fierce that Gwaine felt the need to replay the conversation (admittedly not a long one) in his mind. Nope – he had been right, he had definitely only said that Merlin wasn't here and not (as the look would suggest) that Gwaine had created cancer.

"Well, where is he?" Arthur huffed, rubbing his hand through his golden locks and Gwaine couldn't help it, he grinned cause damn if that wasn't the cutest thing he had seen in a long time. Arthur Pendragon, pouting and messing up his fluffy blond hair made Gwaine's insides curl up in a tight ball of affection.

Hence Gwaine's problem with Merlin's best friend. It wasn't that he didn't like the man, it was that he just couldn't figure him out. He knew he'd have better luck attempting to finish the Sunday Times crossword (damn bloody impossible) than trying to figure out what was going on in Arthur's head. He was a contradiction of terms – he was bloody gorgeous (which Gwaine would deny to his dying day, no matter how many knowing smirks Merlin and Freya sent his way) but he seemed completely oblivious to it, blushing and looking away when complements were thrown his way. Very adorable in Gwaine's (silent) opinion.

Arthur was solicitor, not some junior clerk as his age would suggest – he seemed to effortlessly climb through the hierarchy of the Court Prosecution office as nimbly as an Olympic swimmer would climb out of a pool. He was highly sought after, in court five days of the week, had a tongue as sharp as Benedict Cumberbatch's cheekbones and a mind that would astound even Stephan Fry. But his best friend was Merlin, who's mind (bless his cotton socks) would confuse any person on any given day simply because it didn't appear to run on the same wavelength as anyone else's – Gwaine blamed this on the fact that he was teacher and spent the majority of his time surrounded by screaming eight year olds, would melt anyone's brain really.

Merlin wasn't political, he would do anything for anyone and money didn't mean a thing to him. They couldn't be more different if they tried – chalk and cheese! But they worked, in a strange, mildly terrifying way – Merlin and Freya seemed to regard Arthur as their child, which was frankly disturbing!

A throat clearing brought Gwaine back to the present – Oh yes! You're still here – to a stern looking Arthur Pendragon with a perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised in impatience.

"Ah... What was the question?"

Arthur shoved past Gwaine, turning to face him with his hands on his waist and a look that would crumple even the toughest, meanest witness.

"Oh, Merlin!" Gwaine grinned and mentally slapped himself to make him stop staring at the bulge of muscles he could see through Arthur's – no doubt cashmere – jumper. "Freya called in a panic, there was a kitten stuck on a window ledge."

Arthur brows pinched in confusion before they shot up in understanding. "He's gone to rescue a kitten? From a window ledge? He's more likely to kill himself and the kitten than be of any use!"

"I know," Gwaine sighed, shaking his head.

"Well why didn't you stop him?"

"I'm not his keeper, besides he likes playing the hero!"

"I know that, but really someone has to keep his Spiderman tendencies in check!"

Gwaine barked out a laugh and Arthur grinned, his cheeks flushing an endearing shade of red that Gwaine wanted to lick, and then proceed to bite along his strong jaw line and... Dammit Gwaine! Concentrate!

"You need him for anything in particular?"

"Thought he might want to go to the cinema," Arthur shuffled his feet, eyes darting around their messy sitting room (no doubt taking every last, miniscule detail in) before settling back on Gwaine.

"Anything good on? Haven't been to the cinema in ages meself."

Arthur mumbled something, cheeks flushing again and eyes straying to his shoes.

"What was that?" Gwaine asked, amused.

"The Muppets," Arthur said louder, looking up and giving Gwaine the look of death – positively daring Gwaine to tease him. And this was Gwaine's problem, the conundrum of Arthur – here he was, standing, glaring at Gwaine, the big tough, cold-hearted solicitor who ate criminals for breakfast and convicted murder suspects during the day, and he wanted to spend his Saturday evening in the cinema watching a kids movie, with his best friend. One would think that after a week of work, his only thoughts would be of getting pissed and shagging someone in a toilet cubicle but maybe that was just Gwaine.

"Got a thing for Miss Piggy do ya?" Gwaine asked, a smirk playing on his lips.

Arthur turned away from him, but not before Gwaine noticed the smile forming on his plump, kissable lips.

"I'll admit she's an attractive woman, but Kermit's more my type."

"Hoping if you kiss enough frogs one will turn into a prince?" Gwaine laughed.

Arthur mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "something like that," before his eyes paused on what Gwaine thought – hoped – were his lips. Arthur flushed again, looking around and eyes landing on the TV.

"Nothing better to do on a Saturday than play tennis with yourself?"

"I'll have you know it's a great way to exercise in the comfort of my own home, no need to go out in public and look like a dick at the gym!"

"True," Arthur conceded, walking over and picking up with the spare controller for the Wii from the coffee before turning back to Gwaine with a smirk on his handsome face. "But you don't get the pleasure of watching some sweaty, muscle man panting as he lifts weights in the comfort of your own home."

And really, now Gwaine's mind was racing with images of Arthur, sweaty and panting with his well muscled body wrapped around Gwaine.

Fuck it – Gwaine thought. "Wanna game?"

"Sure," Arthur shrugged, throwing the controller onto the couch before pulling his jumper over his head and giving Gwaine a glimpse the perfectly smooth skin of his abdomen and the light dusting of hair trailing down into the waist band of his jeans.

Gwaine swallowed and tried to concentrate on setting up a two player match. He randomly choose a player for Arthur and waited on the game to load.

"You're serving first," Gwaine said, definitely not looking at Arthur as he bent over to push the coffee out of the way to make from for the two of them in front of the TV. The man had a glorious arse, one that Gwaine wouldn't be opposed to licking whipped cream off!

"Alright," he replied, picking up his controller and rolling his shoulders. He smirked at Gwaine, "prepare to have your arse handed to you." He threw his arm up and his avatar walloped the tennis ball towards Gwaine's, Gwaine dove, arm outstretched and the ball soared past.

"15, love," Arthur said smugly, preparing to serve again. Gwaine ripped his own hoodie off and stretched his arms – the game was fucking on!

Forty minutes later they were panting, there had been a near miss falling over the couch, Arthur had whacked his knee off the coffee table – releasing some beautiful profanity - and they were levelled at deuce. The next two points were crucial –they were at 5:4 and the set would be Arthur's if it went to 6:4. Gwaine was not going to let that happened. The smug git could not win!

A rally started, both of them grunting like Venus Williams on her best day at Wimbledon. Arthur managed to get the ball to the opposite side of the court with a fancy flick of his wrist and Gwaine lunged, missing the ball and skidded, getting a carpet burn for his efforts.

Arthur punched the air – child that he was, Gwaine thought bitterly as he stood up watching Arthur bounce on the balls of his feet.

"Advantage to me," he grinned, eyes twinkling.

"Not for long, princess," Gwaine shot back, getting himself ready to serve and trying not to be distracted by the way Arthur crouched, knees bend and ready to move as soon as the little green ball came flying his way.

Gwaine threw up his arm and his avatar walloped the ball, it sailed across the screen, Arthur moved ready to send it flying back when it crashed into the net.

Arthur whistled, straightening up. "Pressure getting to you?" He cocked an eyebrow.

Gwaine choose to be a grown-up and ignore the prat's teasing, tossing the ball again and thankfully getting it over the net.

The rally started, and really Gwaine thought, the noises Arthur was making were positively obscene. Though in all honestly, he was at it too.

Gwaine made the shot, his whole upper body strength went into it, Arthur dove to get it tripping over his own feet in the process but he missed it and he moaned banging his head onto the carpet. Gwaine started to punch the air, a whoop on his tongue when the ball bounced, bounced outside the white line.


"Ha!" Arthur laughed, a triumphant smile on his lips!

Gwaine, mature as ever, stamped his foot on the ground.

"Here," Arthur said, holding out his hand. "Help me up."

Gwaine hauled him off the floor, getting a nose full of the sweet smell of fresh sweat and the fruity shampoo Arthur used.

"Totally kicked your ass!" Arthur said smugly, clapping Gwaine on the back. "No hard feelings, I'm just better than you."

"Fat chance of that."

"Ah now, don't be a sore loser," Arthur laughed, shaking his head.

"Best out of three?"

Arthur stared at Gwaine, an assessing look in his eyes that made Gwaine squirm but he would do anything to wipe that smug look off the prat's face.

"As long as you promise not to throw a hissy fit when I beat you."

"Keep dreaming princess," Gwaine smirked. "Want a beer?"

"Sure," Arthur watched Gwaine disappear off to the kitchen, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Gwaine stormed back into the sitting room, frown on his face and handed Arthur a can of cold Heineken.

They both took long thirst quenching gulps before picking up their controllers again.

"Your serve," Arthur said.

"I know," Gwaine snapped – he was mentally preparing himself for God's sake!

"Whenever you're ready."

"Eager to lose?"

Arthur raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Gwaine, who took his opponents moment of distraction to hit the ball, Arthur scrambled , swinging his arm and missing.

"15, love," Gwaine echoed Arthur's earlier statement. The blond frowned.

"It's on," he spat at the Irishman.

"Ready when you are," Gwaine smirked, Arthur may be good but nobody was better than Gwaine at providing distractions!

Fifteen minutes in and Arthur was fuming. Gwaine was in the lead two games to one, and he had never been happier.

It wasn't his fault that every time Arthur had to serve or there was a rally going on with a tough shot for Arthur to catch that Gwaine had to cough, or sneeze or stretch his leg out to where Arthur was moving. If he couldn't see a leg in his way, then it really was time he made an appointment at Specsavers – which Gwaine had pointed out and was met with a snarl, really ungamesman like behaviour!

But the bloody prat caught on, turns out his highness wasn't all noble and chivalrous and he could fight dirty too.

He'd casually stretch, giving Gwaine a good look at his muscled stomach or bend over, and Gwaine couldn't help looking at the swell of his arse. Or he'd smack Gwaine's arse – "There was a fly!" "Yeah? Where the fuck did it go then?" – making Gwaine miss the shot. Or kick the back of Gwaine's knee making him crash to the floor.

It got dirty, very dirty, both of them glaring at each other, panting and swearing – and more often than not rubbing at a sore spot.

The match was levelled at 4:4 – shoes and socks discarded, empty beer cans crushed on the floor, blood pounding in their veins and snide comments being thrown back and forth like a ping pong ball.

Gwaine was in the lead, he had the advantage and one more point would win the game, then just one more to win the set. His shot went straight to Arthur's avatar and from the last hour of playing, Gwaine knew that if Arthur hit it he wouldn't be able to stop it. The man had a bloody powerful back hand. So Gwaine did the only logical thing and bumped into him.

"What the fuck?" Arthur roared, as he stumbled and watched the ball bounce once, and then twice.

"Yes!" Gwaine jumped and punched the air.

"Fuckin' cheat!" Arthur snarled.

"Ah, who's being a sore loser now?" Gwaine asked in his best baby voice – he was pretty good at it too, being forced to listen to Merlin and Freya coo at each other in their lovesick puppy ways.

"Piss off," Arthur threw him a filthy look and got ready for the next game.

Gwaine didn't want the princess to have too much of a temper tantrum so he decided to play fair, well as fair as he could.

But that turned out to be a mistake when the score was love:30 to Arthur, the man was fucking in the zone – completely ignoring Gwaine and just playing some fantastically clever and skilful tennis.

"The fuck?" Gwaine muttered when Arthur casually side stepped Gwaine's attempt to pull his hair and hit the winning shot.

5:5 – fuckidy fuck fuck!

Arthur grinned smugly at him.

Oh you're going down, Gwaine thought darkly.

But goddammit it was tough!

Gwaine threw his arm out, blocking Arthur from taking a swing – "Git" Arthur snapped. – But Arthur retaliated by smacking Gwaine on the elbow with his controller, really bloody hard – "That was my funny bone, you cunt!" Gwaine hollered, eyes stinging and watering in the mind numbing pain that only comes from banging your elbow. – And now there was a point in it. Gwaine had the advantage but they had been hoping back and forth between advantage and deuce for far too long in Gwaine's opinion, so he casually and carefully kicked a Heineken can under Arthur's foot and the shot sailed wide while Arthur cursed like a sailor. Gwaine had no idea a posh chap who went to Eton would know the words spilling out of the blonds mouth as he hopped around, clutching his foot. But Gwaine figured it was all the criminals he spent his days with, educating him in ways of profanity, so considerate of them!

Right, it was all down to this last game. If Gwaine won, he'd be two games ahead of Arthur and he'd win the set. But if Arthur won – not going to happen – they'd have to play a tie breaker.

The gloves were definitely coming off!

"Coulda made that in my sleep," Arthur remarked when Gwaine missed a shot.

"That's a bit embarrassing," Gwaine laughed when Arthur hit the net twice in a row.

"The white lines mark the court," Arthur pointed out.

"Did you just forget to swing?"

"Taking lessons from Merlin in clumsiness?"

"You're supposed to hit the ball with the racket, not your head."

"You stood on my fucking toe, you dick!"

"Well your toe shouldn't have been under my foot, you douchebag!"

"I'm drawing a line! This is my side, that's yours – feckin' stay there!"

"What did just say?"

"I'm on my side!"

"Your arm isn't!"

"Oh! That had to hurt?"

"Your face will hurt in a minute."

"Head butting the net, never seen that before!"

"Let go of my belt!"

"Stop hitting me!"

"Don't be such a girl!"



They stood glaring at each other, chests heaving and faces flushed. Something Gwaine could add to his CV, he could bring out the worst in Arthur Pendragon. Somehow he didn't think Merlin would be proud of him, or Freya for that matter.

They had been neck and neck throughout the game, now once again levelled at deuce.

Gwaine decided to try a new tactic, he'd just talk to Arthur and make him loose his focus! Genius and so simple, he was a master conversationalist!

"Got a Wii yourself?"


"Why not?"

Arthur shrugged in response, not taking his eyes off the screen. It was like getting blood from a stone.

Arthur got the advantage, smirking at Gwaine who rolled his eyes and stole it right back. Arthur huffed in annoyance.

Right, Gwaine thought, something that will make him give more than a one word answer...

"So what made you pick jurisprudence?"

Arthur laughed, still not looking at him. "Awfully big word there, you sure you know what it means?"

"I've been reading the thesaurus at night."

"Slow couple of weeks, huh?"

Gwaine froze, cheekily bugger – and Arthur's shot went sailing past him.

"I choose to study law, which is what I assume you were trying to ask, because my father wanted me to." Arthur smirked at Gwaine, "advantage to me."

"Asshole," Gwaine muttered - eyes on the screen, eyes on the screen, he chanted to himself.

They were both so focused on the rally that neither spoke nor tried to trip the other, Gwaine was quickly becoming aware that Arthur was bloody brilliant, was there nothing the man couldn't do?

"How are so good at this?" Gwaine asked after a minute of silence, well silence broken by heavy breathing and the occasional grunt of effort.

"Played as a teenager at my father's club."

"Yeah?" Gwaine asked surprised, he didn't know much about Arthur's family – only Merlin calling Pendragon Senior a noodle (Merlin's version of fuckwit) every so often.

"Yeah," Arthur grunted, straining to make a shot which he bloody well did – typical! "Was champion six years running."

"Of course you were," Gwaine rolled his eyes, just what he wanted to hear. "Explains a lot though."

"That I'm great?"

"No," Gwaine smirked, hitting ball back to the other side of the court. "Your obviously vanilla attitude to sex."

Arthur walloped the ball back with a beautiful forehand shot which sailed past Gwaine's avatar but bounced just inside the line.

"Excuse me?" Arthur turned to face Gwaine.

"It's nothing to be upset about," game completely forgotten, well not forgotten but Gwaine wasn't going to mention that Arthur had won the game, forcing a tie breaker. "Your talents lie outside the bedroom. You spent your teenage years playing tennis instead of getting your cock sucked, your lack of experience is understandable."

Arthur stood with his mouth open.

"You put your efforts into other things, really commendable. You studied and played sports whereas I spent my years perfecting my fucking skills." Gwaine smiled condescendingly at Arthur.

Arthur's eyebrows shot up, a dangerous look playing across his eyes and Gwaine swallowed audibly – Oh shit! – He had time to think before Arthur took a step towards him, grin dancing along his lips. They were no more than an inch apart, Gwaine could feel Arthur's warm breath tickling his neck.

Arthur tilted his head, never breaking eye contact with Gwaine, before licking his lips and whispering. "I've got skills you ain't even dreamed of cowboy."

"I highly doubt that," Gwaine gulped, and Arthur took a step back. Gwaine took a big deep breath.

"That a challenge, lover boy?" The blond asked, eyes raking over Gwaine who could feel his blood thundering south.

"If you think you're up for it," Gwaine said, smirking.

"Are you?"

"Having second thoughts, Pendragon?" Gwaine cocked his head to the side, eyes dancing with mischief. Merlin would kill him, but really – fucking Arthur was up there on his list of all time fantasies, he wanted to see that man fall apart under his touch.

Arthur huffed out a small laugh, eyes going dark and he stepped forward again, grabbing the buckle of Gwaine's belt and pulling him flush against himself.

"I could make you fall apart just using my mouth," Arthur purred into Gwaine's neck, licking a stripe up to his ear which sent shivers down Gwaine's spine.

"I'd like to see you try."

Arthur cocked an eyebrow, before slowly running his hand up the inside of Gwaine's thigh and cupping his now fully hard cock.

Arthur smirked at him, hooking his fingers into the loops on Gwaine's jeans and pulling as he walked backwards to the coffee table.

Arthur sat on the edge and Gwaine stepped into the vee of his thighs, heart hammering as Arthur undid his belt and zip before tugging Gwaine's jeans and boxers down.

He smirked up at Gwaine, blond fringe falling in his eyes before he leant in and licked from the base of Gwaine's cock up to the head, playing with the slit and tasting his precum.

Gwaine thrust his hips forward, cock slapping against Arthur's cheek.

"Easy tiger," the prat laughed before he wrapped his lips around and began gently sucking on the head.

Gwaine hummed in approval, gripping onto Arthur's shoulder and enjoying the view but before he completely lost himself in lust, and the feeling of Arthur sucking and running his tongue around Gwaine's shaft, he remembered that this wasn't for fun, well it was but it was a game, a competition.

So far there was nothing overly spectacular about the blowjob – he'd been promised skills.

"What did I say? Still giving blowjobs like a tentative teenager, unsure of what to do, vanilla mate, vanilla" Gwaine said, teasingly.

Arthur pulled away, that damn eyebrow raised again and a smirk on his lips which were coated in spit. "Didn't want to rush into it, have you going off like a fifteen year old virgin."

"Stamina of a God, I have!" Gwaine laughed which quickly turned into a moan as Arthur went back to work on his cock. Movements not so gentle now. He looked up at Gwaine through his fringe and froze his moments.

Gwaine frowned in confusion, about to make some witty remark but Arthur took a deep breath through his nose and swallowed around Gwaine's cock.

"Holy fuck!" Gwaine gasped as he the head of his cock hit the back of Arthur's throat. It had been years since someone deep throated him! He pulled back slightly, and Arthur's tongue ran along the thick vein of his cock.

Arthur released his grip on Gwaine's thighs and dug his fingers into the flesh of his arse, winking at Gwaine – the cocky fuck – before forcing his hips forward, getting Gwaine to really fuck his mouth.

Gwaine grabbed onto his head, tightening his fingers in Arthur's hair and let himself go, fucking into Arthur's mouth hard and fast – all pretence of being cool and unimpressed gone.

He didn't last long, he couldn't – it was Arthur and fuck! Those gorgeous lips stretched around him, being allowed, invited even, to completely pillage his wonderful mouth. He came with a shout, he felt his cock slip out of Arthur's mouth and he glanced down to see Arthur's tongue dart out and lick at a spot of cum on his lip. Gwaine's mind swan, yeah – he'd have wank material for a long long time!

"Stamina of a God my arse," Arthur said, voice raspy. "Never heard of giving a bloke some warning?"

Gwaine's only retort was to grab Arthur and haul him up for a kiss, effectively shutting up his smart mouth. God how Gwaine loved that mouth, but this was a challenge and no matter how outstanding Arthur's cock sucking abilities may have been, Gwaine was in it to win it!

"Beat that," Arthur whispered against his lips.

"No problem."

He trailed his hands up inside Arthur's t-shirt and pushed it up, breaking the kiss to pull it over his head. He took a quick minute to admire the view of Arthur's well defined chest before opening his jeans and shoving his hand to wrap around Arthur's cock.

Arthur laughed against his lips. "A hand job, really Gwaine?" He mumbled, before Gwaine pulled back to glare at him.

"Something wrong, princess?"

"This the best you got?"

"I've got magic fingers," he grinned, leaning back to capture Arthur's bottom lip in a light bite.

"Going to play me like your guitar?"

"Gonna make music for me?"

Arthur laughed, breath hitching with a flick of Gwaine's wrist.

Gwaine kissed him once more before pulling away, "jeans off," he ordered as he kicked his own free and tugged his t-shirt off.

They both stared at each other, flushing and admiring the views.

"Fuck," they both said together, grinning at each other before their lips crashed together again.

Gwaine could feel his cock swelling with renewed interest as Arthur ground his erection into his thigh. Gwaine pushed him away, snatching up a cushion off the couch and throwing in onto the floor.

"Down," he ordered to the blond.

Arthur grinned and sat cross-legged on the cushion, blinking up innocently at Gwaine.

Gwaine fell onto his knees (more carpet burn to add to his list of injuries from the evening activities) and slapped Arthur's shoulder, "Roll over, you idiot."

Once Arthur was settled, Gwaine crawled back into the vee of his legs (quickly becoming his favourite spot in the universe) and started kissing up his thighs, humming the opening bridge of Sweet Child Of Mine.

Arthur shook with laughter and Gwaine grinned happily, before running his tongue along the cleft of Arthur's fantastic arse. Really if there was a prize given for best bottom, Arthur would win, hands down!

Arthur moaned as Gwaine spread his cheeks and ran the tip of his tongue around the tight ring of muscle.

"Gwaine," he spat out, when the other man didn't do anything else for the next few minutes.

"Yes, dear?" Gwaine asked sweetly, wiping spit of his chin. He could do it for hours, just tease someone enough to keep them on edge and have them screaming and begging him to let them come. He loved it!

"Are you going to actually do something?" Arthur's voice had a strangled edge to it that Gwaine loved, "or am I going to have to get myself off rubbing off the fucking floor?"

Gwaine laughed, ducking his head into the crease between Arthur's arse and thigh, kissing lightly before he set up on his knees. His cock, now fully hard again, bobbing heavily against his stomach.

Arthur looked, or really glared, over his shoulder at the Irishman. "You said something about magic fingers? Were you just talking yourself up or are you actually going to get on with it?"

"In a rush are we?" Gwaine asked, trying to think of where the closest stash of lube and condoms were. Merlin better not have bloody used the last, or Gwaine would scream the house down. And why was he thinking of Merlin right now? He had Arthur Pendragon lying on his floor, naked and practically begging to be fucked! What was wrong with him?

"You are bloody useless at this!" Arthur moaned, banging his head onto the floor.

"I'm great at sex!"

"No evidence to support that claim as of yet!"

"Shut up, I'm trying to think."

"Take all the time you need, I love it when people move at a glacial pace," Arthur mumbled into his arms.

"Don't move," Gwaine said, smacking the prat's arse for good measure, jumping up.

"I'm not going anywhere till I get an orgasm, so I'm suspecting I may be here for a while. Do warn Merlin and Freya!"

"Jaysus, do you ever shut up? No wait, don't answer that," Gwaine hollered from the hall. When he ran back into the sitting room, a bottle of pleasure intense durex lube and a box of condoms he gotten free a gay pride in his hands, Arthur hadn't moved. Excellent! "You're quiet when there's a cock in your mouth, I'll probably take advantage of that knowledge in the future."

"If you don't hurry up, I will never agree to a repeat performance!"

"Ah now, I know what you're like," Gwaine said, kneeling back down and coating his hand in lube. "A few shots of tequila and you're anybody's!"

Arthur laughed, but it turned into a loud groan when Gwaine breeched him with one finger – twirling it around and pumping it in and out.

"Yeah, no, just ahhh..."

Gwaine smirked, leaning over Arthur and peppering his shoulders with light kisses as he continued to stretch him.

"Pretty tight princess, been a while?"

Arthur moaned in response, pushing back onto Gwaine's fingers.

"Fuck, come on you pansy – I'm ready!"

Gwaine chuckled, biting his shoulder before sitting back and ripping open the condom wrapper with his teeth. He rolled it on and coated himself with lube, then grabbed Arthur's hips forcing him up onto his knees.

He lined himself up with Arthur's glistening, twitching hole and pushed in, moaning as he was surrounded by the intense heat and tightness.

He had to take a minute to calm down, in was just his dick was in Arthur's arse! Holy Hand of God, never did he actually think it would be!

Arthur was whining and trying to move so Gwaine pulled back and thrust as hard as he could, effectively knocking any bitchy comment that was forming in the prat's mouth, out of him.

It felt so damn good that he couldn't hold back and slammed repeatedly into Arthur, holding the man's hips in a death vice. He was looking forward to seeing the bruises!

"Stop, Fuck, Stop," Arthur panted, and Gwaine froze.

"Shit, what's wrong?" He gasped, fear gripping his ball's in case he'd hurt Arthur, pulling out and anxiously running his hand over the small of Arthur's back.

"You're going at me like a fucking jackhammer! I haven't been fucked like that since uni!"

Arthur sat up on his knees and looked over his shoulder, bursting out laughing (how rude!) at the look of panic slowly turning to annoyance on Gwaine's face.

"I'd just like to be able to sit down in the not so distant future, and possibly walk tomorrow, you jackass!"

Gwaine huffed at him, but Arthur was smiling and he hit Gwaine's thigh.

"Get on the couch," he said rolling his eyes.

Gwaine slumped down, looking forlorn and adorable – he was good at this Goddammit! Arthur walked over to him, ran his knuckles down Gwaine's nose before straddling him and kissing his lips.

Arthur reached down, wrapping his hand around Gwaine's cock, giving it a gentle squeeze before lowering himself onto it. Gwaine thrust his hips up and moaned as he wrapped his arms around Arthur.

They rocked together for a minutes, Arthur pushing himself up and down, gripping onto the back of the couch and Gwaine thrusting up to meet him.

"Better?" Gwaine panted, gripping the back of Arthur's head and guiding their foreheads together.

"There may be hope for you yet," Arthur moaned, throwing his head back and tightening his muscles around Gwaine.

"Oh you cunt," Gwaine gasped, thrusting up.

He moved his hands to Arthur's hips, using his strength to control the other man's movements and latched onto one of his nipples with his teeth, biting softly and running his tongue around the pebbled tip.

Arthur moaned, burying his face in Gwaine's neck as his movements faltered.

Gwaine continued to pump in and out, guiding Arthur with his hands as Arthur's thighs began to tremble.

Arthur raised his head and kissed Gwaine, gasping as each thrust hit his prostate and then Gwaine gripped his cock. He jerked Arthur's cock once, twice and Arthur shouted out, hot liquid hitting Gwaine's chest and Gwaine was sure he heard his name amid all the glorious noises coming out of Arthur as his orgasm pulsed through him.

Everything tightened down around Gwaine and he followed Arthur over, thrusting up one last time.

"Not bad," Arthur laughed into his neck and Gwaine smacked his arse in retaliation.

"Fucking awesome, I am," he joked, running his hands over Arthur's back.

"Not as good as me, though."

"In your dreams!"

They were both breathing so heavily and lost in the afterglow, that only comes from an epic shag, that they almost missed the unmistakeable sound of a key turning in the door.

"My eyes, my eyes!" Came the far too girlyish squeal from the door. "They're burned, I'll never see again!"

"What?" Came the real girls voice.

"No, don't look!" Merlin howled, trying to cover Freya's face with one hand while his other was clamped over his own eyes.

"Yes Freya, don't look," Arthur said laughing. "Our manly, nakedness will ruin Merlin for you."

"Your manly nakedness?" Merlin shouted, lowering his hand and glaring. "You've got Gwaine's cock in your arse!"

"What?" Freya squealed, pushing past Merlin. Freezing with her mouth open, before clamping her hand over her eyes. "Gwaine what are you doing to Boo?"

"Boo?" Gwaine whispered, into Arthur's ear. He had his face buried in Gwaine's neck again (traitor, leaving Gwaine to deal with the two shocked people by the door) chuckling quietly.

"I like Monsters Inc."

"Oh I give up," Gwaine muttered. The man just liked kids films, and apparently he also liked to cuddle, though usually he flinched at any form of contact from Gwaine. So it appeared he had a soft side, as well as a really tough, cold side – yeah Gwaine just gave up. If there was more sex involved he could live with not getting the man.

"And you're on the sofa?" Merlin shouted. "It's going to need disinfecting!" Merlin threw his keys at them.

"Probably the floor and the coffee table too," Arthur helpfully put in.

"Both of you get dressed! We are going to sit down and talk about this, you should know better!"

"I think we've broken him," Gwaine said sadly, "he thinks we're his pupils."

"Well you do have the intellect of an eight year old, I can understand his confusion." Arthur said, grinning at Gwaine before lifting himself up, legs a bit shaky and Gwaine steadied him.

"Come on, we'll go make some nice tea," Freya was saying to Merlin, leading him to the kitchen.

"Round two in my room?" Gwaine asked.

Arthur raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Only if that wasn't all you got."

"Oh, it's on." Gwaine snarled, dragging Arthur to the hall.