It was love at first sight, if a sixteen year old can be in love. I walked into my mom's office, and there she was, the most beautiful woman I had ever met. Her name was Laurie, and it just flowed off my tongue with such grace like my mouth had been created for the sole purpose of saying her name. When she first looked at me, her magical smile took my breath away. I couldn't even remember my own name. Of course, she already knew my name because my mom never stopped talking about me, and her only employee would know all about me. I came to crave every time I saw her, moments more precious than gold or diamonds. I would find any excuse to visit my mom's office, and I would die a little inside if Laurie wasn't there.
As she became good friends with my mom, we started hanging out a lot more. Laurie was a natural flirt, and I quickly became the target of her teasing. It was the most wonderful thing in the world. Once we started to become friends, the flirting only became heavier, and my love only grew. Soon enough, she was my best friend in the world, and I was her second best friend.
When I was at my lowest, she was the one who brought me back, both physically and emotionally, even if she had to break my heart to do it. I thought that once my girlfriend turned down my proposal and dumped me, my heart was fully broken, but what Laurie did in Hawaii just shattered those two halves into a million tiny pieces. I didn't think I could ever forgive her, but when my mom told me how bad she felt about it, I forgave Laurie in an instant. That's when I knew she would do anything for me, except the one thing that I wanted more than I had ever wanted anything.
Even though I had forgiven her, everything started to change when we got back from Hawaii. Not at first, but slowly I knew things could never be the same between Laurie and me. The flirting, rather than making my heart stop, just made me think of what I knew I could never and would never have. She was still my best friend in the world, and I loved her more than anyone other than my parents. It's just, what do you when someone is flirting with you, and you want it to go somewhere you know the other person does not? How do you deal with it? I dealt with it by shutting her off, forcing myself to deny her once in a while, spending less time with her, and just trying to move on. Isn't friendship supposed to make your life better? Isn't love supposed to make your heart lighter? I tell her everything, but how can I explain this to her? It's impossible.
She's in my apartment, begging me to go to lunch with her. No, not lunch, apparently "lunch" is no longer cool, so she has to call it "looey." A few months ago, I would have found that the most adorable thing ever, but now I just find it annoying. I blame my stupid helmet, and it's not fooling her, but she sort of gets the point. Just before she leaves, I see a hurt puppy look on her face, and I die a little inside, knowing that I was the one who made her feel that way.
When she comes back, my roommate is doing his stupid tap dancing routine. Laurie somehow gets it in her mind that I need to be his dance partner. As if that would happen in a million years. Anyway, she pulls the "for me" card, and I somehow find the strength to reject her. Why does she care if I do this stupid tap dancing? Whatever her reasons, this is the first time I've ever denied her anything, and I die a little more inside.
The last time she comes to my apartment, she confronts me on everything. She wants to know what happened between us, but I can't bring myself to tell her. Before I know it, it's all pouring out of me, and I'm telling her that I no longer feel that way about her, that it got too real, and that I can't stand her flirting with me. How can I be saying these things to her? It'll ruin our friendship, but I'm doing it anyway. She knows I still want more but that it could never happen, and now I've told her I don't want her to flirt with me? This time, when I see the hurt puppy look as she leaves, I don't die just a little inside. Whatever pieces of my heart may still have been left turn into dust and fade away. I go into my room, lock the door, turn up the music, and start crying, because there is nothing else to do.
Later, I realize that I can take it all back, that I can get to see the one thing I want to see more than anything else in the world. I still would do anything to see her smile. My roommate and I develop the most ridiculous tap dance number, and we choreograph and rehearse it until we have it perfect. Sure enough, when I go to the quad on the big day, Laurie is there. I nudge her in the shoulder, and tell her the truth: I still would do anything to see her smile. When we're done with our number, I turn around to see her smiling, and it truly is the most beautiful sight in the world.